After checking out of the hospital, I was met with who I assumed to be one of the city guards Celestia spoke of. Said guard being a unicorn with a pristine white coat, golden armor, and a scroll surrounded by what I assumed to be his magic seeing how his horn glowed the color.
"From the princess." He stated rather boldly while levitating the scroll over to me. I, not knowing how to use any form of magic and not understanding how these ponies managed to pick things up with there flat hooves, stood there looking like an idiot. Then I finally gave in, knowing that the guard in front of me wouldn't take me seriously.
"Could you help me out with opening it and flattening out on the ground?" I asked with clear nervousness in my voice, preparing for any form of teasing remark that the guard could possibly think of.
"Of course Sir." Stated the guard. Now that surprised me. Up to the point that it was impossible to hide the expression on my face. The guard seemed to notice my surprise and asked "What?".
"Nothing, I just thought tha..."
"That I would ridicule you?" The guard interjected. Exactly what I was going to say, actually. "Don't worry about that. I was informed by the princess herself about your..... lack of knowledge, though she didn't explain why." He explained while granting my request for help. That was a relief.
I inspected the scroll, surprised that their characters of the alphabet are the same as what I am familiar with. The scroll read as follows:
I wish to see you in the castle throne room as discussed in the hospital, but I believe that you might be a little hunger. In the bag, I gave you there are 15 bits, the currency used here, for you to spend as you see fit. I have no doubt that you will want to find someplace to eat, and seeing as we aren't in any rush, feel free to explore and learn your way around the city. When you are ready to come by or get too terribly lost, look for a city guard and ask for assistance.
Princess Celestia
"Thanks for the help" Thanking the guard, leaving.
"No problem." He stated back.
I decided to look for the busiest street, assuming that that would be the biggest chance I would have at finding a somewhat relative area to look for a cafe.
It took some time but I eventually, after stopping and asking for suggestions and directions, I found a little corner block cafe. I hesitated as I decided to take in the details. It was relatively quiet and looked quite peaceful, not that busy either, some flower beds that even had flowers that I had never seen before, not that I am an expert in flowers or anything. It seems to have calmed me down for what I am going to have to do get some food.
INTERACT WITH THE LOCALS.
Scary thought really if you put yourself in my position. Here I am, trapped again in some strange world, with hardly any familiarity for comfort, not knowing anyone. I believe I failed to mention something semi-important. My age.
When I left the hospital, I guessed all these ponies just assumed my age. But if I remember correctly, I'm only 18 years of age, but they never asked so I never said. I don't know what age they considered adulthood but I didn't chance it, don't want someone feeling like they have to follow me around and feeling like they have to be responsible for me. Now that would suck.
So back to what's happening right now.
I managed to gather whatever confidence I could before I walked through the door. At this point, I'm not surprised to see a pony working the counter. She's an earth pony, her coat was almost black but I managed to see the tint of gray there, her mane and tail being an earthy green with a strip of dirt brown that matches her eyes. fuck, she noticed me, but that was to be expected.Come on, say something, I thought the command to my self.
"Welcome to the Silent Tea cafe, my name is Silent Taste. What can I get you today?" The mare asked in a semi-professional, semi-quiet manner. Now it's my turn to talk.
Don't make yourself look like an idiot during first impressions.
I don't remember if I liked tea or not, time to find out. "Just an herbal tea and.... do you have muffins?" I asked hopefully. If it turned out that I didn't like tea then I would like something sweet to go with it.
"Yes sir, we have chocolate chip and we have plane along with daisy as well. Which would you like?"
"Chocolate chip please." I replied quickly. Daisy? I shouldn't be surprised, everyone being equine after all.
"Nine bits please." Silent added as I handed her the small bag Celestia gave me. "Keep the change, call it a tip." I probably shouldn't because I don't know when or where I would get more, but where would I keep a hold of them, hang the bag on my horn?
"Thank you, sir, your order will be out momentarily. Please have a seat and we'll bring it to you." I noticed some friendliness in her tone. Is she going to try something? I found my self a nice little isolated table. it looked like it hasn't been used in a long time. Good, I thought, Don't want to attract too much attention right now.
"Here you are." Silent announced as she laid down the tray which held the muffin and tea. But I got surprised when she took the seat just opposite of me. I noticed a hint of curiosity in her eyes just before she started speaking.
"I have seen everypony that lives in Canterlot at least once along with the majority of visitors, but not once have I seen you before. You must be new." She stated. Everypony huh? How did I not see that one coming? And...Canterlot? Is that where I am now? Don't seem to have any apparent reason for the name, never heard of it. "What's your story, if you don't mind me asking?"
It's not that I would mind her asking, but I don't know how to answer that my self, given my circumstances. So in an attempt to buy time to think. I went for the tea first, which wasn't too bad, followed by a bite from the muffin which tasted wonderful. Silent seemed to notice that I was mentally judging the food and asked "How do you like the food?" her face no longer that of curiosity and one of expectancy and hope.
"It's wonderful, best muffin I ever remember having" Yes, I just said that. Even though I was the only one that would get the joke, let alone even know that it was a joke. I am laughing my ass off on the inside. But I really did mean it when I said that the muffin was wonderful, and so that she would know that I prevented my self from physically giggling out loud.
After saying goodbye and giving my thanks to Silent, she stopped me at the door and asked me "Will I see you again?" I didn't want to give my word to do something that I could not promise. I decided that I needed to be clever to get out of this unscratched.
"If what you told me earlier about how many visits this place gets is true, then there might be a chance." And in her response, she smiled. Yes, unscratched! I thought, celebrating the small victory in my head as I left the vicinity to make way to Canterlot castle.
Would you be willing to join MegaMan Battle Network: Chrono X as a spriter?
9338512 Bro(ny), spit out your dictionary,
1. Harsh criticism = bad
2. Constructive criticism = good
3. Telling people no criticism = pointless because some folks are going to give it either way, some will be even more inclined towards the harsh side if you tell them "First story, no criticism please." Furthermore, see #2. If all the feedback a writer gets is "Great story, dude! Rock on!" then their ability to improve their writing is significantly reduced. Positive feedback is good, but critical feedback can be so much more if a writer takes it to heart. You can't learn to walk without tripping a few times.
4. (And this goes to 9339107, as well) The writer asked for editors, I provided three links to editing groups on this site, that hardly qualifies as "making conclusory comments."
9339607
I know that constructive criticism is good. I allow that. that is why i did not block you.
Your italics seem to have failed in the middle of this block. The italics suddenly run to the end of the chapter.
Okay I have to stop here for now, for several reasons to be honest. I haven't read this chapter yet so I don't know if any of this is in this one.
1. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!
2. the pacing is a bit too fast, one second he's in the hospital and the next he's not. I'm sure I'm not the only one missing alot of context there.
3. we haven't gotten this guys name or backstory and that unfortunately makes it rather hard to empathize with his plight, normally the protagonist is named and at least minimal backstory to explain in the first few chapters and so far I haven't seen any of that yet.
So with that being said I will check back on this in a month or so to see if it has gotten any edits since now. will comment again after checking back in though.
9369790
Well, there wasn’t much for him to stay in the hospital for, and Celestia named him herself after finding out he had no memory of his life before the hospital in the chapter I’ve became a citizen.
I will admit that I was a bit speedy in the beginning now that I think about it, along with how shity my writing skills were, but if you truly think you have to wait, I can understand somewhat.
Looks like someone missed the School House Polka as a kid. You got "plane" and "plain" mixed up.
Why is the last part like this it's kinda annoying
9523489
sorry, but I couldn’t fix it
Looks like someone is having some BBCode Grief in the last part. If you reply to this comment with the original text in code block (use code and /code in brackets), I'll try to find the issue.
9740863
I don't know how to do that
Lol, I really did project a lot of my sarcastic asshole self into Spirit back then. Still will, but rereading this is quite enjoyable to realize how me and spirit both matured and grew up together over time. Like two best friends who did everything together.
That aside, God I missed so many details I could have included, like thinking how he disposed of the letter, or simply forgot about it and left it on the ground, or had it burn itself as soon as he finished reading it. Or how he carried the bag in his maw around town, maybe paint some of the stares he would have received for doing so as a unicorn. Lol. Or made a better development of him eating and drinking with his maw then being taught how to hold things. Don't think I ever covered that, nor do I remember yet if he ever learned how to later. Guess I'll find out.