Questionable thoughts
Celestia woke me up when we docked back in Equestria. Unfortunately, all the resting Celestia and Keria persisted on me has caused me to be wide awake for the train ride. At least it gave me some time to continue practicing illusion magic, but when I was done mastering the spells I wanted I was bored as hell. I was tempted to ask Celestia if she had a spell that could put me to sleep for the rest of the ride, but something told me that even if she did that doing so wouldn’t be good for me right after sleeping for so long. Besides, Keira was with her for the train ride and I wasn’t sure what would happen if I went to their train car, so I decided to practice disguising myself with illusion magic next. That was actually fun after I got it down because it also changed my voice, allowing me to do impressions too.
When the train pulled into Canterlot station, I had a prank planned. I disguised myself as Shining Armor and teleported off the train, just tot the other side of the street, and waited. After making sure my illusion was perfect, I watched for Celestia. When she came off the train, followed by Keria, I trotted over to her.
“Princess,” I began as I came to a halt. “How was your trip?” Celestia sighed.
“You know how it went, Spirit.” she replied, looking into my eyes. Keria, standing behind her, looked confused.
“Damn it, Tia, I can’t seem to pull one over you.” I admitted, dispelling the illusion and causing Keria to jump in surprise. She doesn’t count. “I even addressed you by title and saluted.”
“At least you improved, that’s what counts.”
“Thank you.” I looked at the sky. “It’s damn near evening now! You two go on ahead. I’m sure Luna’s eager for a break.”
“Oh, and what are you going to do?” Celestia asked, sounding intrigued. I smirked.
“ you can probably guess that I’m badly in need of some tea. It’s been a while after all.”
“Should have known. I’ll take Keria with me and get her settled in the castle.” Celestia proposed. Her tone indicated that she was up to something, but my dumbass ignored it.
“Sounds good to me. See ya later.” I finished before galloping off to the Silent Cafe.
I didn’t spend too much time at the cafe. It was late already and I don’t think it looked good for the establishment having a butler there that was armed more than the average captain in the royal guard in the battlefield. Yeah, Silent Taste gave me an earful for that, so I took my order to go.
Arriving at my private quarters, I went to the balcony to enjoy my muffin and tea. Sitting down, I ate my muffin and sipped on my herbal tea while looking at the moon I’ve missed doing this. Just staring at the moon in the cool of the night. Letting my thoughts flow. I especially missed the great view of the moon I get on my balcony. You don’t know what you have until it’s gone unless it’s your memories. I laughed at my little self-centered joke. “Yep, this is great.” I muttered.
Then, I heard a door open from somewhere in my room. That didn’t last long. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. I turned around to see who I was going to yell at this time for not knocking, but instead of that I went into a mental panic and felt a hint of regret for looking.
I saw Keria wrapped in a towel walking out the bathroom door. I turned around to look outside again. “Keria, what are you doing in my room? I would have thought you would have your own room.” I listened for any change in movement, but from what I heard she continued doing her thing when she answered.
“She placed me with you. You were taking a while, so I thought I would take a bath first. Is there…..a problem?” Fucking Tia, should have warned me. Then I remembered how suspicious Celestia sounded when I left the station.
“I-it’s fine. Are you dried off yet?” I asked, refusing to look without confirmation.
“Yes. why are you acting embarrassed?”
“I have…..reasons.” I replied, turning to enter the room. “You can go ahead and go to sleep, I’ll be a while in the shower.” I said, removing my weapons, saddlebags, and suite. “See you in the morning.” I added as I entered the bathroom, closing the door.
Now, I need to clear my mind. AGAIN! Using my magic, I turned on the shower. While waiting for it to warm up, I had a great idea. Casting an illusion over the bathroom, it took over the appearance of a forest at night with the full moon shining down from above. Where the shower was, there’s now a waterfall. Best idea in a while. I usually don’t compliment myself, but I took had to admit that this would definitely do the trick. I walked under the waterfall and was doused by the relaxing hot water. Even after I finished washing my fur, I just stood under the water as my body thanked me for the treatment. Unfortunately, though, all good things must come to an end. I dispelled the illusion, got out of the shower, and dried off before leaving.
Upon exiting the bathroom, I saw Keria passed out on the bed. I noticed that she went through the trouble of leaving half of the bed empty to make room for me. I don’t think so. Not that I’m not grateful, but I’m not ready to do that right now. I shivered. Better get a fire going. I levitated some wood into the fireplace and cast the campfire spell. If felt waves of heat cascade over my fur coat. Better. I got on the couch and got comfortable. Mmmm….maybe I could write Twilight. Deciding to do so, I got a quill and parchment sheet with a quick levitation spell and began writing.
Dear Twilight,
Celestia and I arrived back in Canterlot the night before you receive this letter. I was just thinking about you, wondering how you were doing. I hope you don't have a grudge against me from last time we meet, I’m genuinely sorry about that. Still planning on keeping my word about finding a time to pay a visit. I think you’ll be impressed with how far I’ve come with learning magic. I might even be on your level. Ha, just kidding. Like hell that would be true. Anyway, I hope to see you soon.
Sincerely,
Spirit.
Looking over the letter one more time, I let it dry before rolling it up and tying it shut. Though I doubt I can, a trip to Ponyville wouldn’t sound too bad after everything settles down. The fire was beginning to die, so I got comfortable once more on the couch before attempting to fall asleep.
I failed to fall asleep before the fire fully died, resulting in the cold keeping me up. Cursing under my breath and casting a heat spell over myself. I started contemplating what to do. Thinking Luna would be in an indecent mood, she was out of the question. Realizing that, because it’s night and everyone would be asleep, that makes everyone else out of the question too.
That's not entirely true. Putting more thought into it, there’s one person left as a possibility. Getting up, I silently made my way to the balcony while being careful not to wake up Keria. When I reached the balcony, I executed a teleportation spell taking me to the royal gardens. I looked around, taking it all in. no memory can truly contain this beauty.
I followed the long path till cam across the statue that is Discord. “Hello old champ, thought I would pay you a visit," I heard some movement. “Who's there?” I barked, scanning the area. There was no response. “You won’t be able to flee before I find out who you are. Trust me, if I have to find you myself, you’ll regret it.” and a few bunnies came hopping out of the bushes. Can’t take any chances, better to be safe than sorry. I turned to face Discord again. “You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you kept me up.” then I heard him laugh.
“On the contrary, you’re quite right,” I heard him say. I watched as he began to crack and move, the layer of stone falling off his body. There stood the lord of chaos. “I didn't want my return reception to have only me, or only some ponies saying things like ‘what are you planning’ or ‘you won’t get away with this’, it’s so annoying when they do that.”
“Well, I don’t blame you there.” then I realized something crucial. “So, now that you’re free, we’re going to have to fight soon, aren’t we?” Discord sighed, knowing what I was talking about.
“Yeah, I guess so. A shame too really. We probably would have made good pals too. Well, got to go before Tia and Lulu see me.”
“See you soon.” he snapped his claw, disappearing.
“Till we meet again.” I muttered. I better get to Luna, fill her in on this. Executing a teleportation spell, I reappeared on her balcony, scaring her with my unexpected arrival.
“Spirit, don’t scare me like that.” she demanded, somewhat calming down.
“Hey, your speech is more modern now.” I pointed out.
“Y-yes, I got it down while you and Tia were away.”
“Good for you, but Discord’s free now.” her maw dropped. “Thought you ought to know.” she didn’t move, so I levitated her onto her bed and continued “I know what to do, unfortunately. When Tia asks, and I know she will, tell her something came up that called for my attention in Ponyville.” Ponyville’s where I would start if I were him. By this time, Luna got a hold of herself and started protesting.
“I think it would be wise to wait. This calls for Tia's attention too now that he’s free.” I’m not usually a patient soul, but I also know not to go against the pony that knows most of my secrets unless absolutely necessary.
“Fine, just make it quick.”
I’ve never had to wake up Celestia before, let alone at midnight, so I didn’t expect to see Luna drop ice on her head. “What in Tartarus was was that for?!” Celestia shouted as she sprang up, now wide awake.
“There is the urgent business to discuss.” Luna reported, looking worried. She’s probably unsure of how Tia’s going to react. Celestia noticed Luna’s worry too.
“What’s happened Luna?” as they spike, it was like I wasn't even there. So I decided to try making a chair out of ice, which was difficult as hell, but I managed nonetheless and took a seat. It’s like watching a private theater.
“Discord’s free.” when Luna said this, I saw Celestia’s eye twitch.
“Well, that means we need the elements once more.” Celestia declared.
“Actually, Tia-” Luna began, but I interrupted.
“Luna, I waited as you asked, but I’m leaving for this part of the conversation. Later!” getting off the ice chair, I saw that Luna was going to protest, but I executed a teleportation spell before she could. Yeah, that's one Q and A I don’t want to be a part of. I thought after appearing in my room to pack my things. I still had to be quiet to not wake Keria.
Keria, how sad. To get engaged to some random stranger, only to find out later that the stranger will be heading off to fight a fight that he may or may not come back from.
I levitated the last spell tome I haven’t studied yet, Wind magic, and packed it into my saddlebags.
Just because Harmony showed me that place in the dreamscape, it doesn't guarantee that I’ll win. It just says I still have a future if I do.
I levitated my pendant off my nightstand and around my neck.
So, this is it. This is where fate is decided. What my journey has been leading me to. Yeah, no pressure at all. Just my possible death along with the enslavement of everything else alive.
Then’ I put on my weapons along with a cloak I found in the closet to hid it all under.
Let's get this over with.
Not that I really cared. This is the reason I conditioned myself. The reason I avoided getting too close to anyone.
Because you never know when it’s going to end.
With those thoughts, I left my room to start making my way to Canterlot station.
There’s nothing to say about the train ride, mostly because I slept the whole time. My wake up call was the loud high pitched train whistle. Not a nice way to wake up either because it leaves your ears hurting like hell. Upon getting off the train, I was able to see the top of the tree that was the Golden Oaks Library. Well, I guess I didn’t need to send that letter after all. I started trotting there, passing through the market area before reaching the library. Before knocking, I checked the sky. The sun was sticking half way into the sky. Yep, she’s awake by now. Lifting a hoof, I knocked a few times before setting it back down. The door opened sooner than I expected.
“Spirit? What are you doing here?” I expected to see spike answer the door, but instead was surprised to see that Twilight answered it this time. Perfect, it’ll go be faster.
“Not much. I was just passing through and thought I would drop by and check in.” I answered.
“This early?”
“Well, I might not get another chance later.” I explained.
“Come on in.” she said, moving aside as she fully opened the door. She closed the door behind me as I entered. I saw Spike over on the couch and went to take a seat by him. “Tea?” Twilight offered.
“Yes, please. I would very much love some.” It might me be the last cup I’ll for some time, if ever again. She left to the kitchen to make some.
“Spirit, long time no see.” said Spike, followed by a yawn. “How’s it been?”
“Pretty swell. Celestia and I just came back last night from our trip to GriffinStone.” as I was answering, I began spinning an illusion of a teddy bear sitting between us on the couch, which was wearing a fez and a red bowtie. Spike looked impressed.
“Wow, impressive. Considering that last time we saw each other you were only just learning how to do the basics, you’ve really progressed.” he picked it up for closer inspection. “You made it solid too! Neat.” I chuckled.
“Nice to hear you say that. Though I can do better, I was just bored.”
“Better? How?” I smirked, spinning the next illusion over myself, taking on the exact appearance of Twilight. Spike became a great example of a classic jaw drop.
“When did you learn to do that?”
“A little over two weeks ago.” I answered in Twilights voice.
“Well, that certainly is impressive.” I heard Twilight say, returning from the kitchen with the tea in her magic. I dispelled the illusion as she set the cups of tea on the coffee table and joined us on the couch. “I’ll admit, I wouldn’t have expected you to have learned how to cast illusions on that scale yet.”
“Heh, you’re exaggerating. It was simple enough, the only thing about it is that it never fools Celestia.” I grasped the tea placed in front of me with my magic and took a sip. “Mmm, this is GREAT Twili. What kind of tea is this?” her face lit up, looking pleased to answer.
“It’s a family recipe. Nice to hear you like it.” my lips refused to part from the cup’s rim till the contents were completely empty. “So, is there anything you came for specially?” I was originally planning on telling them what was going to happen, but I couldn’t bring myself to. So I had to lie my ass off.
“No, just thought I would stop by for a little bit while I’m passing by.” I placed the teacup back on the table. “Well, I better get going.” I got up and went to the door before stopping to say: “Thank you, Twilight. Thank you for everything. I just wanted to say that you were fantastic. And you know what? So was I.” that’s what I chose to be my final words to them, not that they realized that that’s what’s going on. I left before they could respond, not sure if I would be able to handle myself if I stayed any longer. I spotted a bench right at the edge of the property and decided to rest up a bit, taking a seat. Unfortunately, that got me caught up in thinking.
I was unsure of how to feel. Sad? Depressed? Maybe some regret for deciding to see this through? Or maybe I should feel proud, because how many are there can accept the possibility that they’re about to die? I couldn’t think of anyone, which makes it all the more surprising to me. The more I thought about it, the more I began to question myself.
Have I always been ready to sacrifice myself? Am I really okay with this? Maybe I just don’t value myself.
Then I realized it.
I really don’t value my life. I have no way to return to the human world. Even if I could, I have no memories of my life before this Equestria bullshit. No knowledge of who I was. That also means I wouldn’t know what to do, where to go, who my family or friends are. Nothing. So even if I could go back, it wouldn’t be worth it. I don’t belong there anymore, but I still don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere. Maybe, just maybe, death would be a better option. A mercy even.
I shook my head to jettison the thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to review my opinion on life. I levitated the spell tome I packed and cracked it open. As it turned out, wind magic was easy enough to learn that I didn’t even have to practice it. It’s all basically just one spell where you take control of the air around you and control where it went. Meaning I could use it to help me jump higher and run faster, along with slowing down others. Simple enough. I put the book back into the saddlebags and teleported them onto Twilight’s porch before getting up. She can keep the bags, I don’t believe I’ll be needing them anymore.
There I stood, under the tree, I slept under the first night I was in Ponyville. I didn’t understand why, but I sorta grew an attachment it, though my guess would be because of the view that spot provides. I started to remember the…..prefered way to wake up the following morning. Rainbow’s curiosity is something I would be willing to bet will, if it didn’t before then, land her in trouble. I remembered the few seconds it took for me to pin her down during her surprise and how I had the power to have ruined her wings. In the memory, however, I noticed something I didn’t at the time.
Fear.
Rainbow had fear written all over her. How I didn’t notice, I don’t know, but it got me thinking. Does she still fear me, just pretending to be my friend to be on my good side? Or maybe she hates me, hurting her pride. It’s not like I did anything that benefited her other than not fucking her wings up.
Alas, though, I’m bound to a task that I must focus on currently. Therefore, I shook my head in a successful attempt to jettison the thoughts. If Discord didn’t come here, then there’s only one other place I could think of. The EverFree. However, Discord doesn’t seem to be taking action yet. Deciding it would be wise to rest up, I went to find my little tree.
Approaching the tree, I slowed down, coming to a stop when I reached its base. I took my weapons off, cast an illusion of invisibility on them, then laid them down nearby along with removing my cloak and placing it on them too. After laying down myself, I just stared up at the sky. The sun was setting and I was blessed with the refreshing sight of a sky blazing with shades of blue, yellow, pink and red.
No comment.
I closed my eyes and drifted off into the realm of the unconscious.
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Interesting, will we see a R63 of Spirit later maybe, Ghost, Specter maybe?
More please
Nice Eccelston reference!
9793695
HELL YES!!! Out of the many people who decided to read my shit, you are the only one that got that reference. Yes, I'm a big doctor who fan. Though, Matt Smith is my favorite.
9793860
Awesome mine too. But Eccleston will always be my doctor since he was the doctor when I first saw Doctor Who.