• Member Since 8th Nov, 2017
  • offline last seen Dec 29th, 2023

Tranquil Stone


~You are only confined by the walls you build yourself~

E

I’m the bad guy. I always have been, and nothing can change that. As much as I try to change, the more I try to get along with ponies, the more evil I become. Sure I’m ‘good’. But I'm treated worse than I was when I wasn't good. What's the point? I'm always the bad guy, no matter what I try.

Featured: 14 November 2018 :heart:


Chapters (1)
Comments ( 19 )

Personally I theorize that from Keep Calm And Flutter On and every episode onward are just Discord's tricks where he has manipulated everypony's minds to think it's all happening (like how he made Rainbow Dash think a tiny cloud was Cloudsdale).

He is sitting on a throne surrounded by chaos and the Mane Six, Celestia, and Luna are hypnotize to think all is well.

9290737
Exactly what I was thinking!!! 😂

I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good and that's not bad. There's noone I'd rather be, than me.

9290737
That actually influenced what I expected before reading the long description. I was imagining a story where Fluttershy tries to help Discord ask Chrysalis out on a date.

As for the story itself, it doesn't quite work for me. I think I get what you're trying to do, but it doesn't feel genuine. It might have worked better if it took place before To Where and Back and when Discord became friends with Big Macintosh and Spike.

9290685

9290972
I'd prefer feedback not just one word :pinkiesmile:

9290923
Thanks for your help! I appreciate the feedback, thanks for taking the time :heart: Though I would like to say I usually don't follow along the series with my stories 100%, because honestly, I find that would be rather boring.

I feel like this should have a dark/sad tag, but also not.

So, Discord, you could always try vore.

:raritydespair::rainbowhuh::fluttershbad:

Also, Chrysalis wouldn't know a damned thing about valuing someone, given that she's proven amply she values no one but herself.

TGM

This was alright. I get the moral you were going for, don't try to change everyone's minds because then you'll only end up changing nobody's minds, and that's a good moral to have. The execution fell a little flat I feel, however.

Don't get me wrong, deep down Discord is a tragic character. He's a spirit of chaos, it's in his nature to want to cause trouble and shake things up, and this probably puts him at odds with everyone except Fluttershy. I just never really imagine him being particularly remorseful about that fact.

Besides, in the show we've seen that other ponies do actually value him as a friend. Twilight saved him from Tirek, Pinkie helped him with his shopping when he was trying to find something Flutters liked, he suggested a good gift for Fluttershy to Rainbow (even though he had ulterior motives for doing it and annoyed Rainbow at first, she was grateful for his help in the end), and of course the aforementioned to where and back again episode. So him crying about no one liking him just doesn't really do it for me, like if he were doing it just to make the rest of the mane six feel bad then do stuff for him to cheer him up then him acting smug because he got them to treat him nicely for a change, that I could see. This crying about not being liked though, meh.

There's also quite a few grammar mistakes in your story. Inconsistent line spacing near the beginning, plus a lot of the ending punctuation from certain sentences are missing.

“Discord, don’t think like that, you’re not who you were before”

^ should be a period there.

Also lots of telling going on here, not so much showing.

“I’m just the bad guy. Everyone wants me to be the bad guy. The creature everyone love to hate” I said, anger rising in my voice like a flame being ignited further.

'Flame being ignited' is good, but you don't need to specify that the anger is rising in his voice. Do some body language have him growl, sit up angrily in his chair or start yelling or something.

Otherwise, this was alright. well done. 👍

9292063
Thanks so much for your help, I'll go and edit a bit more now :twilightsheepish:

TGM

9292118
anytime!

This was a pretty good story! Despite what I've seen other people say, I think it's actually pretty in character for Discord to get upset about everybody immediately disliking him at all times. Perhaps something that could help flesh out these feelings are going into more detail about his reaction to ponies glaring at him, or even have part of him processing said feelings be denying that he even has them. I think also him having a more personal interaction with a pony, by say maybe having him go to a shop or cafe, and showing the pony doesn't like him would have really put the point across and put the seed of doubt in his head, in a sense.

So, while I think the intent of the moral was pretty nice, something that really weakens it is the addition of the Mane Six to it to show how ponies react negatively to Discord. With strangers, it makes sense to go "I just have to be myself and my friends are good enough, even if ponies don't like me much." But the thing about the Mane Six (sans Fluttershy), is that they ACTIVELY call him their friend, but then barely show any effort to treat him like one. They don't invite him to events, they are often visibly unhappy to see him, and think just the fact that he's there usually means he's up to no good. Because of this, the moral ends up ignoring a very important facet of the story and it feels weaker, because the solution to ponies being poor friends isn't just to "ignore it and be happy with the friend you do have" because they ARE supposed to be his friend. But they refuse to act like it. The solution to this would either be to A.) Point out the fact that the Mane Six (sans Fluttershy) are in the wrong for doing this or B.) Not have them in the story at all.

But overall, I still really enjoyed this story and it was quite sweet. Thanks for writing it!

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