• Published 1st Nov 2018
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The Haunting - Admiral Biscuit



My new house in Equestria came with more than I'd bargained for.

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Chapter 40

The Haunting
Admiral Biscuit

I hadn’t expected Windflower to spot her Hearth’s Warming doll right away: she normally had such a focus on her plant that I didn’t think she saw anything else. She’d certainly stopped waiting to see if Milfoil was around before entering the living room.

Maybe her doll changed the song of my living room, and she could hear that.

Maybe I should see if I could hear the song of my living room. Just as an experiment. And see if it was different when Milfoil was present.

I had a feeling if I could hear it, it would.

She’d zoomed into the room and then halfway across she slowed and her head turned, and she saw her Hearth’s Warming doll.

If I’d seen it in isolation, I would have said that it was a crude thing, crafted at the hooves of a child, but in all honestly it looked better than mine. It was a vibrant yellow pony-shape, crafted of yarn, with a green mane and tail. She hadn’t bothered with eyes or other facial features when she’d made it.

I’d wondered when I first saw it if those were her colors, but I hadn’t asked. Maybe they were close, or maybe those were the colors of some plant she particularly liked, or maybe that was what yarn she’d had available when she made it. It felt too personal to ask the old stallion that, and I wasn’t sure it was the right question to ask Milfoil, either.

Mine was a salmon-color, since of all the choices, that was the best that Milfoil had had to offer.

And now that I was thinking about it, I wondered what would have happened if I’d insisted on a more appropriate fabric selection?

For just a moment, I had the image of an actual filly in my mind as she stretched out towards her doll, and then it was shattered as she floated effortlessly up and examined it more closely.

This was a thing she could touch. She picked it up and held it close to her muzzle, then set it back on the mantel, then she looked at our two dolls as well.

One was human and one was pony, so it can’t have been hard for her to figure out which one belonged to Milfoil and which one belonged to me. Just the same, she looked at them and then the two of us on the couch and the she looked back at them again. Finally, she made a scrunching motion with her hooves, implying that they ought to be closer together.

I could fix that. I got up and went over to the mantel and pushed all three figures close together, like a little fabric family.

Judging by her nod, she was satisfied with the arrangement.

Now that the Hearth’s Warming dolls were in what she’d deemed their proper place, she went over to her plant and started on her nightly inspection ritual, and I listened.

•••••

It was no good.

I didn’t want to be negative with Windflower in the room, so I kept my mouth shut and hoped, but I couldn’t feel anything. I couldn’t hear anything.

It was my fault, I was sure of that. I was trying too hard, or not hard enough.

I was sure that Milfoil knew, too, and I felt bad for her. She was hoping, and I was just a dumb human who was deaf to the sounds of earth pony magic, and that was that. There was nothing that could be done to change it; it would come in due time or it wouldn’t. It was possible that I’d already gone further than any human had thus far, and if that was actually the case, I ought to feel like I’d accomplished something, but ‘you did your best’ didn’t seem good enough.

I shoved those thoughts as far down in my psyche as I could. It wouldn’t be fair to Windflower or to Milfoil to be anything but the person Mr. Rogers thought I could be.

Even if I couldn’t hear her, I could watch her and that was good enough. It was like a Norman Rockwell painting—there was frost around the windows, Christmas decorations everywhere, a cheery fire, enough plants to stock a nursery, and an interspecies couple sitting on the couch while a ghost-filly played with her plant.

•••••

When Windflower got done with her plant, she went back over to the mantel and looked at the Hearth’s Warming dolls again, then she came back to the couch and tapped the book.

Who was she doing it for? Did she really care who the stranger on the train was, or was that just for me?

Did it matter?

I picked up the book and opened it to where we’d left off. She glided up on the couch between me and Milfoil.

•••••

“I’m nervous about meeting your family.” It sounded silly to say it out loud, but I needed to. “I . . . I’m worried they won’t accept me.”

Milfoil nuzzled my chin. “They will.”

How did I explain the difficulties of an interracial relationship, to say nothing of an interspecies? Ponies might not have such hang-ups, but humans often did.

Civilized people had a different way of disapproving than uncivilized people. And as much as it pained me to admit it, the uncivilized response was more honest.

“Your dad isn’t going to go after me with a shotgun?”

“A shotgun?”

Ponies were innocent, I had to remember that. They didn’t have guns. Of course, with their magic, they didn’t need guns.

“He’s not going to resort to violence?”

“Of course not. Don’t be silly.”

“Your brothers and sisters, they aren’t going to take every opportunity to cut me down?”

“I’ve only got one brother, and two sisters,” she said. “And they won’t. Really, Steve, you’re worrying over nothing. They’ll be happy that I’m happy, and that’s all there is to it.”

“What about subtle hints about having a kid?”

“A kid?”

I should have thought that through before I spoke. “A child. A foal.”

Her eyes sparkled in the darklight of the bedroom. “Is that what you want?”

There was a time when a man realized that he’d just walked right into a minefield and that it was too late to get out again.

I didn’t have the biological urge that a woman felt to produce offspring, at least I didn’t think that I did. But was that just a comforting lie that I told myself? I was the one who’d said it.

If I skinned all the biological impossibility off it, was that the secret that lay in my heart of hearts?

I couldn’t answer, but I couldn’t not answer, either. “Windflower is sort of like a kid.”

“Yeah.” Was it just my imagination, or was there sadness in her voice. “Poor thing.”

Back on Earth, there were myths about people doomed to such fates. Mostly Greek.

How did a person deal with a child that wasn’t normal? It boggled my mind; what little thought I’d ever had on the subject had only considered a normal son or daughter, although I knew that sometimes that wasn’t what you got. Was it an emotional thing or a biological thing, or was it something that I’d only understand if it happened to me?

Had it already happened to me?

I was reading a book to a filly who was dead.

I’d changed around my schedule for a filly who was dead.

I’d fallen in love with Milfoil because of a filly who was dead.

Human experience only went so far, and I was hopelessly, irrecoverably beyond that point. I could look back and coldly analyze every decision that had lead up to the present, but did it matter? It was what it was, and if I had the opportunity to change it, I wouldn’t have.

“Sometimes there are perfect moments, the kind of moment where everything is right,” I said. “I might not have pony magic, but I know this. And I think we’re in one of those moments.”

“Yes.” She had a distant look in her eyes.

“We could have been anything, and here we are. It wasn’t what I was expecting. It wasn’t what I could ever have imagined.”

“Nor I.”

“But it feels right. It feels like we’re where we belong.” I ran a finger over the back of her ear. “Like we’re doing the right thing.” I sighed. I’d been the one to broach the topic, so I might as well continue. “Could we have a child together? Is there some kind of pony magic that would allow that? Because it wouldn’t work on Earth.”

“There might be spells,” Milfoil said. “Or else we could adopt. We have plenty of time to think about that.”

“We . . . we kind of already have, haven’t we?”

“You did.” She poked my nose lightly with a hoof.

“You helped.” I booped her back. “Do you think I’d be a good father?”

“I think you already are.”