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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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How did you manage to make every chapter 2,000 words long, for twenty freaking chapters, no less?
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I was just going to say that myself.
How the fuck is every chapter exactly 2000 words long?
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A little bit of effort, a little bit of magic, and a whole lot of having an unprecedentedly large dick.
so she didn't want have a turn then i take it
Uh oh... Things are about to get interesting!
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Do you mind if I quote that in every conversation I have?
He should have had her turn into Emerald, first.
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Nothing would make me swell with pride more than to know that the size of my dick is an inspiration to others. By all means, please do.
Love the story! Good comedy and even though there isa good romance vibe, you make it so it is not insulin required sweetness.
Keep up the work!!!
I love this..
I need more!
He should be like I’m keeping this one and get her a collar and a leash Somehow convince him to princesses that he can tame her like a pet
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You're confusing informal with incorrect. Your callouts were both from dialogue, both in casual conversation, both from the same character. Consider that what you're finding might not be mistakes, but instead intentional idiosyncrasies. If I was going to write all of my dialogue as if this were a doctoral dissertation, both the majority of my readers and I would want to shoot ourselves. Instead, I aim to write my dialogue as it would actually be spoken, unique mannerisms and unorthodox regionalisms included.
I appreciate that you're taking the time to call out things that you see that feel out of place, but when you're dissecting a story to make pedantic remarks, you're likely missing the forest for the trees. Maybe take a step back, relax, and let the world be a little bit imperfect.
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I find people often forget that dialogue and character-perspective narration rely on the characters' discussion abilities and the characters' knowledge and biases. In the same way that Unreliable Narrator is a thing, which people either forget or don't seem to know about to begin with.
Kudos for keeping to it.
I would compare this to 'Griffin the Griffin', but you don't have enough chapters.
Celly's a wet blanket, an offer to join in some hot, inter-species sex and she'd rather call the guards.
I hope you don't get any dick after this
(Me when i'm the changeling)
https://youtu.be/ZYrI6CWj4e0
NOP! That shit is going to fall apart instantly.
sorry, I make these comments AS I read, not after. Silly. I know.
Celestia can probably do that in a literal sense.
Hey, she did warn him he would get them caught!
I know this is clop but this is just getting fucking stupid.
I'm not sure who to be disappointed in: Anon, or Celestia. Perhaps a little from column A, and a little from B as well.
They both literally ask to be catch. Unrealistic to expect nything less.
Uhh......Immobilization and Reformination technique?...
Does that mean he wants to suck his own dick? I know I would want to suck my own dick.