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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well shit
Only if the power of his dick is great enough.
Holy shit all these hungry cougars go find a fucking boyfriend
Just letting you know, this is a critique. And I'm going to do it in the form of a compliment sandwich: something good, something that can be improved, something good.
Your story is phenomenal. I got hooked after the first chapter. I like all the references you throw in. And I am impressed that you vehemently stick to the 2k per day chapters.
But we can tell that you edit your story to fit in 2000 word chapters. It's been said that you rush things--it's true, and this is why. You'd have to rush things to cram in all the action, emotion, and suspense that you have; into just 2000 words. Your story suffers because of this artificial restraint you place on yourself. We're getting the abridged version of your story. I would like to know what kind of story you could create without limiting yourself.
Your characters are great because they are well developed (except for Cornflower). You've developed new aspects for existing characters that we never considered (Rapelestia). And we enjoy the humor, even with how over the top it can get at times.
Thank you for posting.
9341043
I appreciate the commentary and I definitely agree with your assessment. That said, the 2000 word restriction is very important to me. It does definitely hold me back in some regards, but if I didn't have it in place... How I write when I don't have a plan is atrocious. If I weren't trying to post every day (with the exception of the occasional weekend to throw people off) maybe I would give myself a bit of leniency there. But I'd rather be consistently okay than inconsistent and risk putting out some real garbage. With 2000 words I have to go into a chapter knowing what story I'm going to tell, I have to come up with creative ways to portray complex and abstract things that would otherwise just be long-winded rambling, but most of all I have a definite target that I can hit and say "Finally, this chapter is done." Those three things are important to me because they're areas that I struggle with otherwise.
I'm growing into the style more and more with each chapter, and I think you'll find that once we get into the ECC Bonus Chapters where there's just a bit less going on... that 2000 word limit won't feel so limiting after all.
...Someday I too would like to see how I write without a word limit, but now is not that time.
9341097
I think that at least part of the reason it seems more fast paced is because we're given the story 2000 words at a time. If you posted a 10k chapter, I may get half way through before deciding to read more later. With the way each chapter is structured, after reading a short chapter, I wonder "what will happen next?" and want to read more. I have found myself reading 10 chapters due to this.
On a weird separate note, I feel like I'm the only one with this problem: for some reason, I keep reading Metamora instead as Mematora in my head.
Anyway, love the story and look forward to reading more.
Everything is as expected.
The power of boners compels you.
The power of boners compels you.
The power of boners compels you.
The power of boners compels you.
The power of boners compels you.
The power of boners compels you.
9744810
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This is truly madness... Chrysalis absorbed:
3x Metamora reserves
2x Anon ( 1 orgy and one time Ponyville)
1x Celestia, Luna ,Pony Guard & Changeling army and
Ponyville population.
Still Anon overpowered her Discord made more sence by nature...
She had that before the invasion...
/////
At this point nothing makes sence anymore... Even clop needs some kind of logic...