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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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oh man poor atals that is not a pretty way to go
Mmm... The description of the injuries is a bit light on details, but there's enough to establish a range.
The multiple contusions and lacerations aren't particularly serious. They would contribute to blood loss, but don't present any real concern with treatment.
The leg could be anywhere between penetrating injury and a pile of meat, but even in the worst case a tourniquet could be applied to prevent bleed-out.
The chest wounds are the most potentially life-threatening injury, but he doesn't actually show signs of the sort of serious trauma which would preclude survival - no mention of exposed and damaged lungs or heart. In fact, the fact that he was capable of talking precludes the possibility of a serious penetration of the chest cavity.
His request for death was likely a combination of his injuries being visibly horrifying, the severe pain, and the sense of impending doom that is present with most forms of severe trauma. That's actually fairly common.
My analysis: She made the wrong call.
Had she refused his request and instead rushed him to Ponyville General Hospital, he would have had a very, very good chance of survival, and a decent chance of making a full recovery from these injuries.
In a previous chapter there was mention of paralysis. Barring a visibly obvious cause, such as a severed spine, that has more or less even odds of recovery.
She didn't have the medical training to assess the situation, and was panicking. Her actions were regretable, but understandable.
9320140
Great. Now she's crying.
You monster.
jk. I wanted to be ambiguous to not subject the reader to gruesome details they weren't expecting, but your assessment isn't necessarily wrong. Could Atlas have survived? Maybe. Could Metamora have saved him (in any circumstance)? Maybe not.
9320150
It's a bit darker than that. The question you left unasked was "Could she have survived the rescue?"
She was low on power and unlikely to be able to disguise herself. A changeling running through town with a bloodied body on her back would have lead to all the wrong conclusions, and if Twilight had seen a 'pony-eating monster' dragging her crush's bleeding body around she certainly wouldn't have hesitated to kill.
Eh... Still not sure if I like this fic or not... The sudden turn into edgy dark ooze magic rape bi-polar flip wtf-ism from a few chapters ago has left a bitter taste to an otherwise interesting fic. Add in that it just became another fic to go "Oh you miss or want to talk to someone that died/is missing, well *boom* shapeshifting will make it all better". Honestly that has always been a thing that actively pissed me off in fics and other media. This bass-ackwards idea that wearing the face of the deceased should warrant any response beyond intense sadness or sheer unadulterated rage is mind boggling.
9321495
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm trying my hardest to make something approachable, but still with a heavy story as well. I know that I'm probably missing the bar there, but I like to think that even despite my shortcomings I've made something worth reading.
To a degree, it was meant to. The point of those chapters was to unsettle you and make you question a lot of things. Just about the only thing it seems to have made anyone question is the coherence of the story, and I'm really disappointed that I couldn't get the feeling I wanted across there. I'm honestly not sure how to have done that better, but I realize that I did fail there. To tell the story I want I needed those themes to be there, but I understand they were kind of unexpected and jarring, maybe even a bit unbelievable as a result.
I, like you, vehemently disagree with the fact that shapeshifting (or really anything) can "make it all better" in the face of death. But conversely, that's not what happened in the chapter either. I gave significant thought to whether or not that was going to be a clop chapter, and I realized that I couldn't do it. It would cheapen the characters, the chapter, everything. So what you're not seeing there that you may think you are is Metamora trying to replace Atlas (again). She's not attempting to erase or trivialize his death, and I think that to a degree what she did meant as much to her as to Twilight. What she provided was closure, not a "let's forget" but a "let's remember." She gave them both a way to move forward, for Twilight to get something off her chest, even if it was pretend, for Metamora to make her choices mean something.
I've lost so many people close to me in my life, and if you gave me the chance to say all the things I never said to them, even if I knew it wasn't them, even if I knew it didn't mean anything and wouldn't change anything, I would still do it. I would do it in a heartbeat with not so much as a second thought. I'm weak like that, a lot of people are weak like that.
9321833
I feel like if you had of added in some other perspectives in during the time anon was in the hive showcasing the spiral of jealousy in Celestia, even just a few paragraphs near the end of the chapter previous, it would have made it less out of the blue and jarring. Smoother is the word I guess.
Well, to be fair we fully expected your initial scene as described. But indeed this is better, and demonstrates her peculiarity even back then.
That a story. No nameless uninspiried death. Every Corpse with a story meaning and feeling. Wonderful detail to a grim topic.