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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Sunshine and rainbows. sunshine. and. rainbows.
And yet another crisis averted by the power of dick. Par for the course at this point.
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More like par for the whorse, amirite?
Get it?
... I'll see myself out.
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i can't think of any good pun pony joke other then pounny but thats bad
that last chapter also lit the fuse to my anger. If it was me in that position I would have just tore her horn from her head.
I can't help but feel this was the worst chapter yet. You not only took whatever plot twist that was in the previous chapter, and threw it out of the window at mach 5 making anon essentially overpowered, but all of the sudden Metamora seems to change character, away from the changeling learning what it is to love, tampering with themes of jealousy and overcoming it, and also threw that out of the window and had her lecture anon on what it is to love, for the attempted rapist of them both. I have no problems with the themes introduced, but I can't help but feel that this was such a colossal reversal of themes to the point that it almost trivializes everything you've edged on for the past few chapters. Throwing around humour to deal with things fine, even if they're potential plot holes because then you're at least addressing it, but this didn't feel like that, either.
So, the question I have is this: What did you hope to accomplish with the last two chapters, story wise? Because Celestia got fucked already - clearly she's already 'been treated like a mare' when Atlas had his dick in her, and despite your authors note of "[playing] up the darkness and desperation" I can't help but feel that what you tried to accomplish was instead just trivialized and resolved in what felt like a half-hearted attempt at porn.
nah broski your gonna have to redo this and last chapter you can't make from rapey like this to desperation.
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Yeah Bruthur.
Still lovin the story though.
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I'm not trying to be condescending when I say this, but right now I don't have anything to say that will satisfy either of you. I hope the dynamic of these chapters and the need for them to exist as they were becomes clear in time, but for right now anything I could say to justify this would end in spoilers.
Please stick around? It'll be worth it.
Now I get it. The clues all make sense now.
I don't get it.
So if he hadn't gone DBZ on her, she would have continued being evil? Luck be a lady tonight.
Or as Max Payne once put it, 'Lady Luck was a prostitute and I was all out a cash...'
I don't get it
You're not sneaking this by me.
Why, hello Neo!
Thing is, Celestia went way overboard, and we have to hope Luna will slap the snot out of her for this insolence.
It is quite odd that M altered the route. Ulterior motive?
This chapter and the last just killed this story for me good job
Whew well at least that nonsense didn't last very long...
Back to the fucking! Now with magic, bitch!
This better has huge consequences. She better dont even think lie or flower her actions! She can be lucky not to get banished to Tarterus for redeemption...
Heck bro, you broke Celestia's character into a real raping villain, which would be ok I guess: what with all the evil day guard and her all changeling hate. everything was good until you decided that Molestia was going to get fuked the fun way anyways and further more you decided to double fuck your own story by making the one changeling that had all invested in that not happening make the choice. Im sorry to say but this chapter ruined the whole story for me and judging by the reviews in not the only one. Its your story though so I cant tell you to change it, just give my point of view
If you decided to indeed change it eventually I recommend going from either one of this 2 points:
1) Meeting Celestia again, before the "I will rape you" gig.
2) Anon getting "magic void powers": when anon does get free just have him bitch slap Celestia or something into unconsciousness, free buggy princess and stop by to anal rape the guard that dared to seek harm "Em" with the hilt of his own sword or something. Then proceed to exit equestrian lands to rally up the griffin kingdom while building a new hive, having Anon and Em get into lewd griffin shenanigans or something.
Those where just ideas off the top of my head in a few seconds, Just whatever you do, do not cheapen the nice relationship and character building you have worked for the entirety of the story with a "oh its ok, she only wanted to rape you because she really needs it so we should give it to her even if she was about to kill us" stitch. That is a worst plot than any cheap porn video you could find.
Do NOT take this comment as a writing discouragement, In fact I invite you to write more you write well, especially sexual comedy, I still love the part of the mare at the hotel and the "gay" thing. Just I invite you to re read your own story as if you had never seen it before and take new perspectives and possibilities into account: It doesn't matter if you take twice as long to publish it: quality over quantity, and always enjoy what you write. cheers
This kinda made disappointed. My man anon went full on MORO and starts absorbing magic and he doesn't get to beat up Celestia? Big sad
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