• Member Since 30th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 2nd, 2012

Kr4zyD4v301


T

We are all familiar with the Human type of fanfic. Simply put, since my life is really boring, there is no point in making a prologue that would be as long as the description. Basicly, I go to this huge New Years Eve party with all my friends (Equivalent to me and 2 other people) and end up passing out from alcohol intoxication. Then the inevitable happens.

Please excuse the title.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )

*reads title*
Well played... Will update after reading the chapter.

Here we go - My tirade of all the things I saw wrong.

- Quotation Marks - You use a single quotation mark when the character is thinking/talking... I think. If the character itself is talking, then it needs to be double quotations - "Like zen," I said with a smirk on my face as I flourished the double upside-down commas and stuck them on the end of my words.

Other times that you've used the single quotations fit in as they should like in - 'I pushed up with my arms again, feeling the odd 'on the tips of my fingers' vibe as I did.'

- Capitalization during certain places -

‘ears don’t move like that’. - NOPE!
"Ears don't move like that," - YES!

- Your attention to detail -

I'm mad that I can't be as detailed as what you have given to us in that chapter. Bra-Bucking-Vo.

- The small things -

A few places could require touch-up, again, capitalization, some punctuation with commas, a good editor will do ya.

- My thoughts -

I've got my eye on this piece, you've got my interest, so you better keep it... Have a Fluttershy :yay:

This title is pure truth.

*Read later*

when i first saw the title i thought this was a hie

I've decided to write fics less half-aresdly.

I'll fix minor issues later.

Wait, why does this say "complete" O_O?
(also, kudos on the detail)

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