Connor Kenway is a master Assassin in the colonial era who had been mistreated by those he though were his friends. and one such friend General Washington pays him a visit which leads to an epic battle that transports him to a world...a world full of ponies. how will he make his first impression? will he finally have those that he can call true friends? will he be able to overcome his failures thanks to a special pony? or will his past come back to haunt him and ruin everything he ever wanted
Chapters (1)
Remember to start your sentences with a capital letter... And it should come without saying, your title as well
Good effort, Like to see what you but next.
But one thing you should look into is the MLP timeline. The Equestria Girls movie happened right before Season 5 so Twilight should know what a human is, unless she never went there to stop Sunset Shimmer so update your heading a bit to avoide confusion.
9004998 Illiterates of a feather flock together.
thank you for your comments Doomande and helljumper206 ill admit English is my second language but i am still working on punctuation and grammar. and after i posted this story i even recognized the errors i made which was kinda embarrassing. and i will look into the MLP timeline and i am going to have Connor go to their world in canterlot high and after you pointed that out i literally face palmed myself haha XD
9005307
Want an editor? You already do a great job at story telling. I mean for like stuff like grammar and punctuation. Only if your interested.
9005111
I'm honestly suprised that you can't see the potential in this, considering how much you've written. Yes, the pacing is off, the author's grammar and punctuation are lacklustre, but English isn't their first language so all things considering this is probably one of the better badly-written-but-has-a-good-concept fics I've seen in a long time.
9005307
Now I don't consider 'English isn't my first language' as much of an excuse, but you've done fairly well. Keep writing and you'll get better, and maybe get an editor to go over the chapter so they can slay all the grammatical errors for you.
9006189
Thank you and I just did :) they're doing a huge favor and looking over my chapter 2. And I kinda feel bad because it is very long Haha 'XD but thank you for saying that you see the potential in my story :)
9006189
Yeah, I’ve seen too many Displaced fics on here that I’ll just ignore a supposedly well-written-looking and just let it be for the people who like it.
The other problem is that there are some people on this site who really are that lazy with spelling, punctuation, and grammar despite English being their first language and just write a Displaced fic because they know it’ll get them a bunch of upvotes from people who simply like the source material that they’re crossing over and could give two fucks if the story is hardly readable. I wasn’t aware of this author’s situation at first, so I’m willing to give it a pass, but the stories are just not for me.
9006344
Would it count as a Displaced fic? Because they usually take normal folk and slot them into Equestria with little explanation and with the powers of characters from another source. This is closer to a normal crossover, i think.
9006445 The way the Displaced group describes the genre/trend makes it feel very broad and far reaching.
It also doesn’t help that an actual Assassin’s Creed Displaced fic that was published by someone who (as far as I know) completely disregards the English language and also deletes any dissenting criticism.
I can understand if the author doesn’t know English and has to rely on a free translation tool on the internet to try and make it readable to the people who would most likely read this, but for me, it unfortunately doesn’t make reading it any easier.
9006492
Ouch, that sounds like a fun read (Values of fun proceeding from 'Mildly Annoying' to 'Impossibly Agitating').
Awesomeness !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please update this