So remember when I was just suddenly in Equestria? Everything had gone to hell and I died from blood loss like half an hour after I got there? Yeah well, I'm alive again and in a different Equestria... and this one doesn't look too much better...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Two chapters in one day? Thanks a bunch!
Hm, not bad, interesting variant.
Wow, this got intense and as the guy below said: two chapters in one day? Awesome!
I wonder... was there a reason for them straying from the plan? Maybe something drew their attention or whatnot? Or did they just gradually become lax about staying alert or something?
Always knew Celestia was a bitch.
9186021
Likely they became lax. In an apocalypse setting, it's too easy for a single lapse of judgement to get you killed. For example, Rarity probably returned to her boutique to reminisce, just once, likely after getting food from nearby houses, and died because of it. Not sure how Rainbow would've died, maybe a 'Tortoise and the Hare' situation? AJ would likely spend too long at Sweet Apple Acres, Fluttershy would be distracted by an animal, and we all know Pinkie would've had severe difficulty keeping to any plan, no matter how crucial. It's likely Pinkie died first, causing a slow, but building, reaction with the others that caused them to seek out comfort.
Okay this has to be said, what the f was Celestia plan? Or what could it be?
I get she was angry as dicks but condemning Twilight to possibly certain death is way overdoing it and what did się expect Twilight to do in the first? Twilight can't exactly compete or hope to undo Discords chaos magic, so what was her plan.
Lastly as Salvatore pointed out, what was Celestia plan in tracking down Discord?
Even without one of the elements the rest are useless, so again Celestia stood no chance against Discord and if something would happen to twilight in that dome all hope is lost.
9186107
Same reason she goes stupid in the show/fanfiction, to make the story work.
This seems common in grimdark for the sake of grimdark stories at least in a few I've read.
Also Twilight may of wanted to attempt to fix her mistake and after three years has had her recollection of event's twisted by trauma.
Final thing that may of caused it Discord has mentioned something is causing these worlds to go towards the world he is protecting, whatever it is it may have messed with things to make sure the grimdark happens
Why did Celestia evacuate the town for one monster. Where did they evacuate *to* with a wild and whacky Discord on the loose. How did they all die if there's just one monster. Someone.
Celestia, I love this nightmare world and can't stop wondering what'll happen next!
Hah, waiting for the reveal of her to be talking out her arse, and that she’d been feeding the town and her friends to spike instead.
Without the elements Discord can do what he wants, and there’s certainly not much chaos in Ponyville with only one person and spike there.
9186107
I'd like to to touch more on what's going on outside the barrier, but this chapter was long enough as it is, so unfortunately that mystery will have to go unanswered for the moment.
9186450
It was one monster that could multiply exponentially to make a lot more monsters than just one. I'll address what happened outside the barrier later on in the story.
9186492
Considering what Discord did to undead Spike, and seeing as Celestia has no means of beating him i would guess that Twilight and Sal are in the safest place on the planet as the rest of the world is ripping of Silent Hill.
9186450
No one said that they all died except for the main five which were probably picked of one by one by Spidy Spike.
Celestia evacuated and sealed of Ponyville for the time being as she had a bigger problem to deal with aka Discord as for what's going on outside currently as I mentioned previously Silent Hill or some other nightmare hell scape, seeing as no one came back for Twilight in years.
On that note how did the barier last this long?
Without its caster powering it or someone breaking from the outside like Discord.
More of this? Yes, please!
Last thing I'd like to add is how Sal continues to be oblivious to everything, for one 24 chapters in, 3 worlds and numerous days into this and Sal still hasn't figured the powers Discord gave him, on this Sal spent around only few minutes and in the worst time and place ever.
One would think that in such extreme circumstances one would dedicate more time and effort to figure out and master all the tools given.
Secondly Sal thinks that Spider Spike is the world/universe corrupting problem in that universe then he is for a big surprise once he leaves Ponyville.
Sorry to say Sal no longer comes of as an average Joe, now he's just a cartoon character.
For me this fic is going downhill, it's still interesting but the writing is starting to be on par with the show aka for little kids where the characters have mental capacity of children and the problems are solved by the end via Deus Ex.
9186596
I understand your frustrations, but allow me offer a rebuttal.
On your point regarding the timescale, it's only been a few days altogether (roughly four or five by my estimate) since this whole thing started, which I don't really think would be enough time to figure out how Discord's power works, and on that note, it isn't even really about trying to figure out how the powers work.
In order to do that, he'd have to find out how to actually wrest control of those powers from Discord before anything else. There is a lock on that power and Discord has the key. Discord's not going to just hand him the key to his power, so he'll have to find another way to unlock it for himself if anything. As he doesn't have any real way of doing that at the moment there's nothing he can do.
If he could get in touch with another Discord, like he originally intended to do, then maybe something could be done, but so far he hasn't had an opportunity. And regarding this current predicament, what makes you think he'd be in for a big surprise?
He already knows Discord is out and about, but again, what can he do about it right now? There's nothing he could do, so why focus on that, when there's another big issue right in front of him that he could help take care of right now.
The fact that he's choosing to focus on the mentally unwell and suicidal pony right in front of him rather than the currently distant threat Discord poses outside of the barrier, doesn't make him a cartoon character.
And again, you're bringing up all these questions before I have a chance to address them at my own pace which, as I've already mentioned before, is a slow one.
In short, it's not always a matter of ignorance, but sometimes—and especially in this case— it's a matter of priorities and limitations. There's also the fact that when you look at events as whole, not a whole lot has happened yet. I know you want to get the ball rolling on Sal trying to tap into Discord's power, but the fact of the matter is that I simply haven't gotten to a point where that's possible yet.
If your enthusiasm for the story continues to wane, I can't help that, but I'd at least like you to know that I am putting more thought into the story and Sal's character than I'm letting on. It's just taking me some time to get it all out there.
9186653
Here's my rebuttal, we're your readers not your mind readers, unless you write it in the fic what Sal is thinking we can only speculate or just plain assume that Sal is an idiot.
For example.
Sal inner thgought after finding out that Twilight was stuck there for 3 years.
See few lines and now Sal doesn't look like an idiot, I don't say you have to write everything but these kind of things are important for the character image.
And they slightly pad out your fics.
As for the powers, I don't recall there being anything about them being locked up, only that Discord gave him something to help him along.
And again you could've easily fixed the problem if you wrote a scene from time to time when Sal had some peace and time, like in the previous chapter before he went to sleep, you could've write that Sal spend an hour trying to figure it out before giving up and going to sleep.
Again you can't assume that we know what Sal is thinking or what his intentions are you have to put them on the table otherwise we will assume things that may make dislike the character.
Cheers.
9186677
I mentioned right off the bat that there were heavy restrictions placed on Discord's power, which, yes I'm aware doesn't account for every little detail, but yes, restrictions were put into place.
I also think you're forgetting that, while it was in passing, Sal did indeed inquire about Discord, to which Twilight responded she didn't know.
9186552
I was talking about the five. How did they all get offed by a single noisy monster. He isn't an Alien (of the Alien franchise), in that he's going around screeching for his mumsy, and therefore is not sneaky at all.
To add to and clarify my previous comment, what I meant was, why did Celestia evacuate the town while Discord was still on the loose and therefore could cause a thousand worse situations elsewhere, when the obvious and simplest solution would be to put Spike-der in a big cage, or to just put him down?
Someone else said below that they think some sinister shenanigans are ahoof and Twilight isn't telling the whole truth, so I'll shut up for now.
9186497
For some reason I misinterpreted the two or three paragraphs about him duping himself as Salvatore shitting himself and seeing double, so sorry. I think my hang-ups are centered around the fact that I absolutely can not fathom why someone would evacuate a town for something the size of a rabid dog instead of just putting the rabid dog in a box, a closet, or in the ground.
9186742
Restriction does not imply locked or sealed it means their limited Sal should've keep trying to use these powers.
I wasn't referring to Discord directly but to the whole situation and how Sal is oblivious to it all like a common cartoon character.
It would seem you missed every point I made, so at this point I just give up
9186898
One idea is that Celestia is just incompetent just like in the show and just like everyone in this fic are.
After all they've could've just easily blasted Spider Spike and Discord with the elements instead of sealing your nation's last hope of defense in a cage with a monster and going after Discord which she can't beat with the elements.
But you're most likely right, after all one Spider dragon hybrid does not make a world/universe corrupting force, so there has to be something bigger out there.
Funny how Sal doesn't question any of this.
I know this will probably end badly but I can't help but hope just a little.
Wow, this story really grabbed me, I don't know why I held off on it for so long.
Fuck, didn't know I followed the story, was wondering what was happening with it., going to read them soon.
Am i the only one who thought twilight implied that she might feed salvitore her friends?
"And that's when they evacuated all the townsfolk execept for you," I finished, "and apparently you're friends."
It would be your, actually. You're implies you are which does not fit in this sentence. Also, except, not except.
I like your story, quite a bit, but I would download Grammarly. It helps fix up so many little mistakes!
10967358
I don't remember if I was using it at this point in the story or not but I actually am using grammarly now and have been for a while. That said grammarly is not perfect and I can only catch so much without an editor. As for your enjoyment, I'm glad for it, though it didn't really seem that way based on your previous comments.