While on a job to deliver supplies to a new colony in the Andromeda Galaxy, something goes horribly wrong. David Lawson finds himself the sole surviror of a devestating crash on an unknown world. An unkown world full of colorful talking ponies...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww............. This was just absolutely beyond adorable. I can't even words how cute Midnight and David are together, and it's glorious. Great work!
Iām really enjoying this, keep up the good work^_^
I'll have to come back with a toothbrush before I get any more cavities.
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I'm glad you like it :D
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:D
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The steel panel would lose a lot of momentum by slamming into the computer. At least, if my understanding of physics is right, the inertia would transfer into the computer when the panel hit it, and since all forces have and equal and opposite reaction, it was sent bouncing off the computer and around the room. It's losing energy with each surface it strikes, and it wasn't a direct hit on David's head either. Maybe I didn't make that clear, but it kind glanced off the side of his head. Hope this clears that up.
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Oh boy, that's a lot to address. Hopefully I can do this well enough. I'll try to answer your questions in order.
1. I really wanted the scene to be more dramatic than just 'use a spell and it's good', and my logic is that since David is an alien, she probably doesn't want to mess around inside his body with magic when she knows almost nothing about his biology. You wouldn't take an alien you found that crash landed in the Nevada desert and just stick it in an MRI would you?
2. This one draws from my personal experience in the Army, but in my headcanon, medics in the Royal Guard have both field medics and hospital personal for soldiers living on base. The medics rotate every few months or so, so that they keep with their training, but they learn surgical techniques and such there. Not exactly qualified to be a full surgeon, but they could deal with certain levels of trauma fairly easily. It's just by luck that David's injuries missed any major arteries or vital organs.
3. Midnight lives in a fairly isolated area. Her house in the only one for a couple square miles. Also, ponies did notice the crash, but trying to get a patrol over in the mountains to investigate a possible meteorite crash that landed no where near anyone isn't exactly a top priority, so it's not like they had to respond immediately.
4. The reason she hides him is because she was going to take him to the Canterlot hospital the next day, and since she already had him, she wanted to avoid an incident with the Royal Guard. She was basically trying to avoid exactly what happened.
5. David isn't mindlessly angry. He's not angry at all, actually. Maybe his dialogue kinda seems that way, but as far as he can tell, he just woke up on some strange world with tiny talking horses and the first thing that happens is that one tries to stab him with a sword. He doesn't have time to process what's going on and all he knows is that he's scared for his life. I wrote David to have a very strong survival instinct. I thought that was important for later. If anything, he's scared. He's literally a cornered animal. Put yourself in that situation for a second. I know it's easy to say "Oh I would be totally rational in that circumstance and calm down as soon as they talked to me", but that's just a hard argument to make. Until you're actually in a life or death situation, you can't really know how you're gonna react. Having been in a few myself, I wrote David accordingly here.
6. Again, I didn't want magic to be overpowered here.
7. Heat of the moment decision, and she didn't want the guards snooping through her stuff any more than they already would have.
8. She isn't scared because she's seen worse. I feel like I might not have made this clear for you, this story is in a bit darker version of Equestria. Not super dark, but slightly more than the show. Ponies fight in wars, the changelings killed hundreds when they attacked Canterlot, and Midnight was a medic through all of that. A better question is 'why would she be scared of his violence?' she's seen much worse. As for why she's so gentle to him, he's her patient. She saved his life. She feels responsible for his current situation and not to mention, she knows he's only reacting out of fear, not malice.
I hope that cleared all of that up. If you don't want to read the story anymore because of these things, then I understand and thank you for even giving my story a chance in the first place.
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thx I'll get it fixed
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I tend to be pretty harsh on things that make no sense, but I didn't feel like anyone was acting especially strangely. Midnight has the context of knowing that ponies aren't fundamentally evil and also that David was concerned for her well being (probably not evil), which makes it easy for her to figure out that everything going on is just a misunderstanding.
From the perspective of the guard who attacked David, it was a big (twice as tall as him) scary alien hunched over an injured mare. I'm not even a guard and assuming I wasn't too scared to move I would probably swing first and ask questions in the report, too. As an aside, I really liked that you had Celestia and Luna assess his species as the threat it very clearly is. Most stories just gloss over situations which would be at best diplomatic catastrophes without second thought but "Oh shit, we probably want the hyper-advanced aliens to get a good reference from another human if more come" is a pretty reasonable thing for a ruler to consider.
As to David's actions... he's low on blood, exhausted, injured, probably a little high from morphine, and the first guard he encountered tried to shank him (from David's perspective) entirely without provocation. When the next guard tried to talk him down, I can't blame David at all for being... skeptical. Frightened creatures do poorly considered things. Just look at how close we came to nuking the world during the Cuban Missile Crisis, and that didn't even involve aliens.
All this is just to say (with many more words) that you've done a great job with the characters and interactions, have no concerns on that.
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Thank you. God, you have no idea how long I've waited for someone to get that. You have no idea how much I appreciate that. Chapter 3 has received by far the most flak for being unrealistic and people have a really negative opinion of humanity in a lot of stories like this. I really wanted to show humanity as strong in this story, despite our flaws. And you actually understood that Luna, Tia, and Lt. Duster all have very good reason to be afraid of David and what humanity can do. I mean, it's just a story, but in this story, we made it to Andromeda! You literally just made my day by getting that. Thank you! š
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Very glad to have made your night. Your story has been an absolute blast to read and I'm happy to be able to give back. So far, the only thing that hasn't made sense is something rather banal. Namely, where the hell is Midnights house? Canterlot is on the side of a rather steep mountain, and the house is near cliffs so it's not at the base, the city proper is near the top so it's not there, but you said it's the only house for at least a one mile radius. I'm having a tough time with the geography.
9297372 Not all the kinetic energy would have been transferred into the destroyed computer, but then again the constant reverberations of the pod during atmospheric entry could have caused it to bounce around to a lesser extent before it impacted David's cranium... and the human skull is more dense than most people realize, especially the Frontal Bone. It's not like hollywood makes it look on Walking Dead. Skulls are not super easy to puncture, hell there have been cases of small caliber bullets being deflected by the skull.
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Equestria Space Program š
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Well, I may have taken some slight liberties with geography. It's kinda hard for me to describe without showing you, but Canterlot mountain has several small plateaus surrounding it, and Midnights house resides on one such plateau on the far side of the mountain from Canterlot.
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Okay, that makes good sense. Then why did the Guards who had David backed up to the cliff continue escalating the situation by moving toward David? If they wanted to de-escalate the situation, they should have positioned themselves to secure the perimeter while staying away from him. Getting closer to him is what escalated the situation. If they had stayed back and given him time to think the situation would not have descended into violence unnecessarily.
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Well, I believe that in the circumstance they were in, they might have found it best to physically restrain David if at all possible. He already fought back, and who's to say Sgt. Stone isnt a little upset about having a vase smashed against his skull? Honestly though, his main goal was simply to have better positioning behind David in case he attacked Lt. Duster so that he could take David to the ground where he thought they'd have the advantage.
great chapter
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Indeed it was. I do like that game, but before you ask, no, that was not intentional.
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Thanks :D
Not bad. I look forward to reading more.
I wonder if this counts as a sucker bet better luck next time tia
Wreath. About midway through, as they're entering the castle, you have them hanging reefs, it should be wreaths.
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What! I just got back from harvesting coral from the pacific islands, and now you're telling me it's pine neetles!!?
Them words be mixed.
Missing Capitalization.
Missing a word I think?
...Is that a threat against the solar ruler?
Off with her head!
No, kidding, she wouldn't do that... As far as we know, anyway...
...Celestial... You should know not to bet against the Princess of Love herself, on matters of such things. You know you will inevitably lose every time.
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https://youtu.be/k4f9m4OYkCY
David: you're the best hot chocolate for me!
I've never been more relieved to read something in a romance fic as I was reading this.
Thank you.
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