- Member Since 31st Dec, 2017
- offline last seen Feb 27th, 2020
Sawtoothetherium
I like Luna. I like MLP. And I like blood.
Sawtoothetherium
Joined 31st Dec, 2017 ·
Offline
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More more more more :D
Read the description. Colour me intrigued.
Read the story. A few awkward sentences, and a bit too much telling rather than showing, but overall, pretty good.
8852791
Thanks, I will look out for that in the future.
I want to see where this will lead up to.
Nice. Good detail, some world building and decent character development.
8858461
Thank you.
There are a few run-on sentences:
Nothing a conjunction or two,or a full stop instead of a comma, couldn't fix.
There are also a couple of missing apostrophes, like 'Lunas' instead of 'Luna's'.
Apart from grammatical mistakes, I have few complaints. It flows well, and overall is decently written. Write on!
8863171
Thank you and please keep up the critique, it has been useful so far and I am sure it will continue to be useful.
exciting!!😂 (Nice story)
8931614
Thank you! =)
I find this story so cool that I've read it again 5 times already; ') (I'm crazy XD)
9066540
I’m glad you like it so far, and if you have any suggestions I’m open for ideas.
9067604
How about luna and sombra having a fight with that vampire boss and whether that celestial war starts with that boss or that the boss finds out that luna is pregnant OR that they find out that sombra luna likes. so that was what I had in mind XD X.x idk 😂
9068932
PM me and we can talk.
I do hope this isn't dead.
9931219
I'm sorry, but I can't think of a way to move forward. I'll try to rewrite it sometime, but I don't think that it will be soon.
9934671
Fortunately I'm good at giving story ideas.
9934842
Shoot me a PM and we'll talk