Luna shed a single tear, she used her wings fo fly just above the water and wiped the tear from her face, it was blood.
She had ordered an investigation, they had found next to nothing.
Luna hid in the alley with Sombra, they would need to wait for nightfall to carry out the mission.
I mean I have no control Celestia, there is a castle in Germaneigh that not many know of, perhaps not even Conrad.
Celestia sat there dumbstruck, her little sister had been abducted by vampires.
“Telepathically yes, she is in the city.”
Nothing a conjunction or two,or a full stop instead of a comma, couldn't fix. There are also a couple of missing apostrophes, like 'Lunas' instead of 'Luna's'.
Apart from grammatical mistakes, I have few complaints. It flows well, and overall is decently written. Write on!
There are a few run-on sentences:
Nothing a conjunction or two,or a full stop instead of a comma, couldn't fix.
There are also a couple of missing apostrophes, like 'Lunas' instead of 'Luna's'.
Apart from grammatical mistakes, I have few complaints. It flows well, and overall is decently written. Write on!
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Thank you and please keep up the critique, it has been useful so far and I am sure it will continue to be useful.