"Welcome to Appleloosa, partner. I'm guessin' you're the witcher?"
Geralt wearily paused his stumbling to lean against the corner of the saloon and glanced down at the pony.
Some kind of badge for a cutie-mark, and a hat for the heat. Sensible.
"Mhm."
The sheriff removed his hat and gave a sweeping bow.
"Pleasure to meet you then, Geralt. I'm Sheriff Silverstar, I sent the letter."
Geralt nodded, rubbing his face. "Figured by the mark. I usually go looking for work on notice-boards; surprised to get a request directly."
"You're gettin' famous! They say you took on a pack of timber wolves out in the Everfree!"
Geralt scowled at the memory. "Yeah. Not a huge threat, but not a great welcome to Equestria, either."
The sheriff scoffed and smirked.
"Well, if you don't consider a full pack of timbers to be a big threat, then I think you'll handle this job just fine."
Geralt shrugged. "If it's all the same to you, I'll wait until the morning to find out. The train broke down and I had to jog here from Canterlot."
The sheriff winced in sympathy. "That's one long journey. No wonder you're worn out!"
Geralt shook his head. "I'm a witcher. My mutations give me the endurance for journeys like that. Problem was the Royal Gryphon I ran into on the way here. I was told Equestria only had small-sized gryphons like the ones in Griffonstone."
Silverstar stared at Geralt for a few moments before speaking.
"You mean you ran into that monstrosity already? Why, that's what I summoned you for! That thing was really a gryphon, huh? It was so huge and vicious-looking I couldn't believe it!"
Geralt groaned. "Great. Here."
The witcher tossed a sack on the ground next to the sheriff. Silverstar opened it only to recoil in horror and disgust.
"What in tarnation?! Is that the beast's head?!"
"Mhm."
"What in blazes did you go and bring that here for?!"
The witcher shrugged, subconsciously shifting his sword into easy reach.
"Habit. If I take down a creature outside of the borders of a town, I generally grab a trophy to prove my kill, in case someone will pay me for dealing with it."
Silverstar gaped at Geralt in disbelief for a few moments before gaining his composure, closing his mouth.
"You've been killin' for money for a long time, huh?"
And there it is. Pretty soon people here will treat me just like they did back home.
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
"Mhm."
Silverstar shook his head, and his expression turned to pity.
"Partner, I am dang sorry to hear that this is normal where you come from. I'd have just taken your word for it that the thing was dead, but I have to admit seeing the living proof sure seals the deal. I'll get'cher pay. You grab a rest in the watering hole, you've earned it in spades."
Geralt was left blinking in confusion as the sheriff sauntered off to his office.
Did he just... pity me?
Geralt chuckled into the empty night.
These ponies never fail to surprise me...
And with that, Geralt slowly made his way into the saloon, seating himself at the bar. The mare behind the bar smiled warmly at him.
"What can I get you, hun?"
Geralt chuckled.
"What's the hardest alcohol you serve here?"
The bartender smirked.
"We've got some raw moonshine, if that's your fancy."
Geralt nodded. "How much do you have?"
The bartender balked slightly.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, how much do you have stored here? I'll probably buy all of it. And a drink – some cider, I guess."
The bartender's expression screwed up in confusion, and she shook her head.
"We've still got most of a big barrel in the back..."
"Great. I'll take the barrel of moonshine, and a regular keg of cider. And..."
The witcher had tried to get used to the diet of fish and vegetables he'd been forced to adopt in this country, but there was just no adjusting to a tavern without a proper steak on offer.
"... I guess I'll have some fritters and potatoes."
The bartender nodded with a smile and began laying out the table. When she returned from the back room, to the witcher's surprise, he got a steaming plate of roasted potato slices and fritters made with potato and spinach, all covered in gravy. He hesitantly tried a bite of it, and was surprised that the gravy almost tasted right.
Either I'm turning into a pony bit by bit, or this place really knows its cooking.
The bartender smiled warmly. "You like it? I noticed those little fangs you've got, so I got out the gravy I heard the gryphons like."
Geralt smiled despite himself.
"It's good. Well done. I'll need to ask after the recipe, it's been hard to find something decent in Equestria."
The bartender bent a hoof in a 'nailed it' gesture the witcher recognized from Rainbow Dash.
"I'll get your drinks!"
As she departed again, the witcher started in on his food, thoroughly content until he heard rising voices from a couple of the other patrons in the bar.
"I told you, we bought that land fair and square! Take it up with the sheriff!"
"I don't give a buck what the sheriff says, that land's ours! We never would've let it go if we'd known what was under it!"
"Well maybe it you'd actually lived there for a little while you'd—OOF!"
The witcher sighed as the argument escalated into violence.
Do I bother getting involved?
With a shrug, Geralt took a bit out of his pocket and flipped it, checking the result.
Looks like I'm in on this one.
The witcher swung around on his barstool. What greeted his eyes was utter chaos; two pegasi were buzzing around, hurling various pieces of furniture at an earth pony, who was unsuccessfully trying to shield himself from the projectiles by jumping from cover to cover. He already had a few nasty-looking bruises on his coat.
Geralt stood up and strode to the center of the room, glaring up at the pegasi.
"Knock it off."
One of the pegasi responded by hurling a chair at the witcher.
Guess I know which side I'm on, now.
Geralt sidestepped the chair, catching it as it passed, and hurled it back, weaving the sign of Aard with his other hand. The chair rocketed back at the offending pegasus at a dangerous speed; the pony was barely able to get most of their body out of the way, but the chair's impact on their wings sent them careening into a booth, which they crashed into with a thunderous impact.
I'm guessing they're not flying again soon.
The witcher pointed a thumb at the crash site while looking at the remaining pegasus, who was glaring daggers at him.
"You don't want to get grounded like your pal, then get down here and start straightening up this bar."
The pegasus dove at Geralt, who rolled his eyes.
Trying to clip me in the head and stay out of my reach, huh? Typical flyer tactic.
The witcher squatted low, forcing the pegasus to dive lower to even try to hit him. When they got close, Geralt sprang at them with unnatural agility, overpowering the pegasus' velocity and taking them straight out of the air. He slammed the pegasus into the ground and got a good look at them.
Adult male. Couple scars. Probably does this often. Well, this'll cure him of that.
Just as the pegasus shook off the daze of the sudden impact, Geralt sprang back and away from them, grabbing one of their hooves. The witcher yanked hard, pulling the pegasus into an arc in the air around him, and then slammed him down into a table.
Geralt heard the pegasus cry out, and then start gasping for air.
Knocked the wind right out of him, seems like.
Geralt patiently waited for the pegasus to uncompress his chest. When he finally sucked in a proper breath and tried to stand back up, the witcher grabbed his hind hoof again and yanked it out from under him, pulling most of him off of the table – and letting his head clip the side of it on his way down.
Solid impact. Not enough to make a concussion, but he'll feel that tomorrow.
With the second pegasus on the ground moaning in pain, Geralt spared a glance at the rest of the bar. Most of the other patrons were staring slack-jawed or cheering him on. The earth-pony he had assisted had already departed, and he spotted Silverstar clapping irons on the other pegasus. The sheriff gave Geralt a nod, and then turned back to his captive.
"Causing trouble again, Sky? That's it. You and your brother are going into lockup for a week this time. We don't tolerate this kind of thing in Appleloosa, and you dang well know it!"
The witcher chuckled and let the sheriff take the other pegasus off of his hands. He thought little of the incident, going back to his dinner.
Until he received a letter the next morning.
Dis gettin' good!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, more of this! I need more! I haven't read a fanfic with such interest in years! I think you got Geralt down perfectly.... but my honest opinion, if I see Geralt committing sexual relations with anyone besides Yennifer, I will be disappointed, not that it should matter to anyone, I just don't think it'd fit.
I can't wait for the next bar room brawl! Geralt - Master of Fisticuffs
Of course, after he'd met the herd of cattle at Sweet Apple Acres, things got a touch awkward.
In any case, it's heartwarming to see Geralt get pleasantly surprised again and again. Though I do wonder what's in that letter.
8979265
Equestria is basically The Land Of Things That Suck Surprisingly Little
This is really well written, I dig the characterizations and the pace of the chapters.
8992792
Glad you're enjoying it! Updates on it are slowed down right now while I'm plowing through Discord vs. Harmony and a piece of original fiction, but I have the next few chapters outlined, so they should line up and knock down fast when I get back to it.
Just aint enough bar to brawl in for him, I guess.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Geralt's To-do List:
[X] Actually get full payment for a job.
[X] Piss off/Annoy local Royalty.
[X] Play Gwent.
[X] Start/End a Bar Fight.
[ ] Farm Cows for their loot drops, then sell them.
[ ] Woo every Female you can.
[ ] Kill the bad guy.
[ ] Learn to be friendly.9034352
Agreed.
9034413
Don’t forget get drunk when pony world messes with him.
9064644
Please do
*waiting for a new chapter intensifies*
9073895
Summer here is brutal, so it's very difficult to write.
9075138
It’s perfectly fine tho, I read the books in the meantime.
78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdqightXBN1rw5vzj.gif
8973998
Suspecting the last, hoping the first.
9122930
It's neither. Though I need to get off of my lazy bum and write the next chapter, clearly.
Damn, I read through this entire story in one go, I loved it that much!
Big fan of The Witcher here, you did a great job making a story with Geralt in Equestria!
9227343
Thanks! hopefully I'll finish it now that things aren't so miserable here.
bro please tell me that you are working on a new chapter, i love this story!
9320305
I hope to come back to it, but I've been inundated with RL projects. Still, your comment drew my attention back.
9320459
sweet, hope you get the rl stuff done well. can't wait for more!
So the title says it all. Ha!
Okay you're in obligation to finish this, you've captured the white wolf excellently. I'm hooked too so you need to take responsibility for what you've done to me.
Please write more of this, it's wonderfully well written and an instant favorite. Well done characterization, fluffy, lighthearted and amusing. All that without losing the Witcher feeling. Please, please continue this!
9384689
Figured out a good route to continue this with recently, so I'm actually working on it again.
This dead?
9444239
No, just a prolonged hiatus. It wasn't intentional, but I've been buried in stuff and haven't felt any energy for writing or working on any of my projects for a while.
Yeah, I'm up there with everyone else - I'm enjoying the tone. It feels like the Witcher, and yet it somehow doesn't. It's too light-hearted to be a proper Witcher story, but it's enough of a Witcher story to leave it alone.
And I like it light-hearted, short and sweet. It's more a collection of stories, spanning one-two chapters or so. I like it.
I most notably enjoy how Geralt is OP here not because he's actually OP (most earth ponies could probably take him out with raw strength, pegasi could kick his teeth in and leave him reeling from seemingly out of nowhere, and don't get me started on magic users...), but because he has an insane amount of experience and similarly insane control over his body.
It still feels a bit too light-hearted for me, because the original Witcher's point was often "what makes a monster?", where monsters were often more humane and caring than humans, especially for each other it seems. I really loved how the original series essentially had Geralt treat everything fairly and equally - if you hurt others, you had to go, and it didn't matter if you were a manticore or the royal asshat. Felt refreshingly simple.
And I'll admit - so does this. Equestria is really straightforward, once you learn to appreciate it for what it is (and steer clear from the bigger cities ;P). Certainly nothing even close to Toussaint, and forget Velen.
So, I'd love to see some more - the RPG certainly had me in spasms! :-)
9475372
This story was aimed more at exploring Geralt's internal emotional issues and capturing the vibe of his sillier adventures. Back when the series first began, Geralt would occasionally find himself in absolutely slapstick situations from time to time, and I wanted to throw a bit of that in here. Aside from that, I also wanted to delve into Geralt's borderline PTSD with human societies lacking honor and compassion, and show how he reacts when he comes across a society that is legitimately good.
Well, this as a fun reading spree!
In to my tracking bookshelf!
9505176
Oh. I must've somehow read over that.
...how embarrassing.
I am enjoying this even though I don't know much about the wither series!
9550143
Me: scratching head trying to figure out if this is rhetorical or a serious prompt for an answer.
Holy potatoes boys!! This is one of the best Gerald in Equus fics I have read!! I really hope you plan to post more soon!
9605568
Thanks. I'd like to, I've just got a lot of other stuff going on.
Also, why do people keep calling Geralt 'Gerald'?
9606369
Probably just a typo or an autocorrect from the phone.
9606369
so uh
ya gonna update this anytime soon?
9758383
Hnnnng. I should. But I've got Bronycon coming up tomorrow, so not this week, at least.
Update?
9853660
Thanks for showing interest. Yeah, I let this slip from my mind after Bronycon, I should get back on it.
Just found this. Place of power. Gotta be.
9928063
Hah, goddamnit. That line is etched into my auditory memory from Witcher 3.
Why does this one line elicit so much laughter from me? Why!?