OrsurostheDragon
Joined 1st Dec, 2017 ·
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Great story mate
hay sequel
I’m hoping for tons of creampies in the next chapter!
Wait, she is not?
9112244
She can pretend she's not if the word doesn't get out.
Short but Good
You're Welcome, Keep up the Good Work!
god damn that was fast! faster than a fast thing! could have been twice as long, but still a good read.
What the hell, Twi?
Er... Hate to burst your bubble, but there's no way the egg would be fertilized THAT quickly. If this had been a month later, then yeah, it's quite reasonable to have Twilight discover the pregnancy, but the night of is just impossible.
9425940
i agree. twilight must have used the wrong spell and accelerated the pregnancy a bit
Kinda agree with Starlight. It does feel forced. I would've expected more drama with Applejack being mad that they set this up and didn't tell her. You missed your chance to make this a lot more interesting. And, quite frankly, a lot more true to the character of Applejack. I rather doubt the very traditional pony wouldn't be scandalized by her friends hiring a courtesan for her! That's not something respectable ponies do!
It would also give Chester a chance to actually woo her instead, or at least have an honest talk about who he is and what he does. Maybe convince her that his feelings are genuine, or that he's at least willing to get to know her and help with the foal. But it all just happens too easily.
I don't think I'm even gonna bother with the rest. Just doesn't seem worth it past the first couple chapters.