• Member Since 28th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 14th, 2015

crash826


What is the happen.

T

What maketh a witch?

The problem with Equestrian-Earth immigration, so far unforeseen, is that some people just can't deal with Equestria. Some people come into contact with absolute utopia and just cannot cope. So they develop coping mechanisms.

These are not very helpful coping mechanisms.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 17 )

....Yepppp.
This is my first story on FiMFiction. Feel free to tell me how terrible this first chapter is. :twilightsheepish:

Well now.
If this was to stand as a one shot, I'd give you a thumbup. But as you seem to wish to continue....
Please do so.:trollestia:

Considering leaving this a one-shot, actually. But I'd appreciate opinions on the subject of continue v. don't.

There are times I remember what actual writing looks like, and this is one of them. Usually I'm satisfied with words just not getting in the way of the ideas they're representing, but it's nice stumbling upon something that's an honest pleasure to read.

I personally think this works very well as a oneshot. The climax has already happened, and I'd think a direct continuation would muddle up the tone it built. On the other hand, exploring the idea of Witches in our familiar Equestria is a captivating topic, so if you have any ideas I'd be interested in seeing them. Either way, I do hope I'll see you write more of something.

New chapter. And thank you, Exuno- I figure I'll give case studies of individual witches and the ways that they are spawned.

Ahh, Religion...
And the old fight about who has the cooler imaginary friend begins anew. :derpytongue2:
Now I don't want to be too critical, but in the first chapter it was easier to comprehend the which-to-be's motives. Or it least it was for me, but on the other hand, I never got the allure of religion either.
You used "Paradise Estate" from G1, so it's save to say that this is not G4 but an amalgam of Ponyland and Equestria?

Might be a mash-up of Ponyland and Equestria. I figure that it's just a house name, myself.
Feel free to criticize! I'm always looking to improve myself.
See, I might have written this wrong, but this guy has been raised religious, and religion was what powered his father like a turbine; when he had questions about religion, things that didn't make sense to him, he saw that bringing it up would destabilize the man and didn't, then- to reconcile his own belief- made himself forget his questions, believing implicitly. So here he goes through the revelation that he has essentially been living in a lie he made for himself, and that now he could simply redefine truth however he wanted again, know that he was the avatar of a righteous god and- at the same time- know that his god does not exist. Guy is caught in doublethink.
Personally, I have nothing against religion, though I'm not religious.

This is... pretty powerful.

This could be EqD-worthy. Lord knows it deserves the extra attention.

Well, here goes another chapter of this bull.

So there is some power that creates witches from humans with personal problems. Now I see where you get the "dark" part from. Is there a certain threshold before one becomes witch-material or is every human vulnerable to this blight?
Celestia might have a serious problem on her hooves if it is the later.:twilightoops:

First it was about people who just hated ponies. Now it's genuinely tragic and sort of heart-rending.

I like it.

Trigger warning: More accents.

1019142 Thick accents made fun of me when I was little. At least, I think they were.

An excellent start, your style has a sort of Francesca Lia-Block feel in the way you structure your words and use them to paint primal, visceral emotions and thoughts, wrapped in poetic, fanciful layers. Extremely difficult to achieve. I liked the ending too.

This chapter was quite frightening. How quickly even the kindest people can turn when something makes them question their long lived religious beliefs.

Wow! This one was very different, very heavy and I'm still trying to process it.

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