The Dark Side
Fluttershy lay on the floor of her cottage home, crying. Her eyes were red from crying so hard, yet she couldn't stop.
Her bunny, Angel handed her a third tissue from the box he was holding.
"I just c-can't believe this.." said Fluttershy. "I really thought Doctor Whooves and I had something special.. I should have known he was a liar. I mean- he's not even a real Doctor!" She knocked down a picture from a nearby shelf and watched it smash into a thousand pieces.
"And Twilight Sparkle.." she said, pacing the room. "What a..whore! How dare she end up in my coltfriend's bed! I hate her!"
The more she thought about it, the more sense it made that Twilight would do this. "She's always taking advantage of me, everypony is! I'm nothing but a doormat!" Fluttershy remembered when she'd gone to Iron Will's sessions, and how with a little bit of assertiveness, she'd been strong.
"Rarity and Pikie Pie.." Fluttershy thought bitterly, "they made me change back, I was happy when nopony could control me, sure I was a little rough but look how much respect it got me! And now..now that I'm week Fluttershy again..look where it got me! Walked on and betrayed! I hate myself I'll never be anything but a weak crybaby who lets everypony take advantage of her!" Fluttershy reached down and picked up a sharp piece of glass from the broken picture and held it in her mouth over one hoof.
Slowly, she lowered it down to her wrist and slashed it quickly across. Blood weld up and dripped onto the carpet.
Fluttershy gasped and let the bloody glass fall to the floor. She looked down at the long cut on her wrist and smiled.
"That felt....good!" She growled.
She picked the glass up from the floor and cut her wrist again, just below the first cut, imagining in whwere Twilight's face as she slashed it.
"Never again.." she said grimly, before going for the other wrist. "Never again will anypony treat me like...shit.."
Soon she felt dizzy and dropped the glass before laying down on the floor. Angel hopped over and attempted to stop the bleeding with a tissue, but stopped at Fluttshy reached over and grabbed the glass and held it to her throat.
"Goodbye... Applejack..I guess who were my only friend." She slit her throat and gasped as pain shit through her.
blood filled her throat and pooled onto the floor.
Angel let out a scream and tried to press a tissue to the deep cut in Fluttershy's throat.
It was too late.
Fluttershy lay on the floor, blood leaking from her wrist and throat, her eyes wide open, never to see again.
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You must really hate Fluttershy
According to information tossed up by Hasbro guys at Bronycon, his official name is Time Turner. Though the trading card says otherwise.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-qwUN6RkIB7U/TrWyqjJ__tI/AAAAAAAABRI/QEuptfwpeqw/s1600/mlp+my+little+pony+meme+bronies+pinkie+shocked+and+disgusted.jpg
I do not even need to read to use this image
*before read* Is it really that horrible?
*after read* OK.... Well It wasn't horribly written and it could have been a little more accurate on the charters. Fluttershy and Applejack acted natural but the others did not, so its off. other the that... I don't see why all the hate. It is really sad and I am sure crying. Poor Fluttershy, and Twilight for having pushed over the edge like that. Now I am guessing Twilight might commit suicide as well. So sad...
why?
WHY?
WHY DID YOU DO THIS?
I like flutershy. Even thought she is weak she can still do extraordinary things. She scolded a dragon and stared at a cockatrice, How can you say a character like that is lame?
I mean, I like sad endings, but this just seems... mean.
This fiction should be removed and forgote
one does not simply write about fluttershys death
The idea was alright... But waaaaay too rushed. You gave us hardly any details at all, and there were quite a few grammar errors.
And would Fluttershy really kill herself right then and there, like 10 minutes after she found out? You could have expanded on that a little bit, at least. It was kind of like you went from point A to B to C, without explaining how you got from each point.
Like I said, the idea was alright. This has the potential to be decent if you work at it. Try rewritting it, or at least making it a little longer. Let it sit for a day or two, and go back to proof-read it. Or even better-- get an editer.
Suicidal Fluttershy, interesting if extremely depressing and dark.
Her going through with it... Dear god, what could possess anypony to write that?!
Bronies, faith in humanity -1
Agree with the above post. It's not like it was particularly badly written, it was more the content. You hit three hot-button issues on this site. One is suicide, the other is violating headcanon, and the third is anything remotely bad happening to Fluttershy. Put those three together and you had a perfect shitstorm. Sorry, man.
i'm not gonna even bother to read this. a suicide flutter-fic is not something that i ever want to see. i mean, really. even cupcakes has standards and it''s meant to be trash. i checked out your stories page and see that you have another one there as well. i would recommend that you work on that and other fics to improve what i see as a flat OC and a somewhat obtrusive and out of character writing style. grammar is important, along with spelling and sentence structure. i would recommend trying to get a decent editor or even a co-author. another protip i would encourage you follow, in regards to both stories, is stick to one set of tag groups until you are good enough at one to move on to another. i discovered that firsthand when i had to work a few fight scenes into the story that i am working on with my co-author at another account. without him i would have had to give up, and the same goes if it were just him. because we both are good with characters and conversation, but suck at action. you need someone to bounce ideas off of. also, it keeps bearing i mind that the minimum accepted length for most chapters is 1000 words. in my story we shoot for, and exceed 3000 per chapter, and we have EQD to thank for that, because it is a fic that made it through the EQD scanner as well, and they have a 3000 word per chapter minimum. without this the chapters and character development will always be seen as rushed and shoddy. another good idea, particularly with this one is, provided you don't want comments like the beginning of this one and many other comments that were added as i write this to spam your inbox, is to find a good story type and go with it. my story got it's inspiration from reading other great works and trying to emulate them (fanfics and real books). that goes for both characterization AND plot devices. browse the tvtropes random story (idea) generator to get a feel for this. Also, to use the old adage "the customer is always right" remember that the same applies to stories. honestly, while a fluttershy deconstruction through the clever medium of an emotional trauma fanfic is interesting, a story about her committing suicide because twilight and the doctor were out of character is a good huge distance too far out of the comfort zone of most every reader. i do not mean this to be insulting in any way, and would appreciate it if you would let me help you a bit. i just mean this as constructive criticism and am not trying to make you feel bad. I was just sort of shocked when i saw this particularly under teen. i hope i covered everything, and really, if you want advice or anything else to help with storie type things just message me and i'll get to it asap.
thanks and goodnight (it's 1:28 where i am)
Uh...to put it simply.....I mean.. no offense...but..
This story sucks.
god... is this a hate fic!? on my favorite character!?
wow, my favorite character, being treated like a pile of dirt.
in the words of Fluttershy herself "how dare you". no offense :/
Tssh... Fluttershy would never call anypony a whore... Nor would she ever hurt herself. The Doctor was just terrible. He may think of getting into a relationship, but he would never actually get into one. But if Doctor Whooves did, it would be with Derpy/Ditzy.
uhm, first of all, Flutter Shy isn't emo, second of all, maybe she could have gotten a terrible life if more events happened.
How can you be so cold?!
956392 This is why s/he made this, you know. Because of people like you, where they dislike a story because she dies. Now, if you'll excuse me, I should run.
...The writing is still bad and you should feel bad, boy.
The premise sounded good and interesting but it could use a lot more, i felt that you kinda rushed and forced it when it could have used a little more of plot to make it a decent fic. Right now its...well...not really a fic, its more like something written from someone who really hates Fluttershy, nothing more than that.
Want to make a decent Fluttershy death fanfic ? make it long and descriptive, dont just write some words and there. Give it various twist and make the reader believe that at some point, Fluttershy might end up with a happy ending just to tear that ilusion with another tragedy
The only out-of-character was Fluttershy so yeah, try to study her behavior better
Everypony here needs to stop hating. This story, while it may not have the happy ending we all want, is a story that still deserves our respect. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png It takes guts to kill Fluttershy.
Yes, Fluttershy is my favorite pony, and yes, I'm sad that she died, but come on, fellow bronies! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Fluttershy.png Everypony knows it's always the quiet ones! This might be realistic!
This is why we can't have nice things.
....
...
...
Not cool
So the two chapters was it? Do more when Twilight trys to appologize and finds Fluttershy's body. The two chapters were short too.
>> NightmareDash
Eh, I was kind of ignoring DW canon,
but in all actuality, the Doctor is kinda a player, he's got all those girl with him...
>> Thebirdy
not all people who cut themselves are emo
you can leave that stereotype back in 2006 lol
Just clearing something up here:
I don't hate Fluttershy, she's my least favorite, but I don't really hate her. I love all the ponies. I just felt like something like this would hurt her the most.
956651
Headcanon is the collective story used by the fanbase. Headcanon varies from person to person, but many people share the same headcanon. For example, most people have Dr. Hooves and Derpy paired up as a couple, and see Lyra and BonBon as either best friends or lovers, even though the actual events of the show (the canon) don't back that up. When fans see something in a different way than the show portrays, it is referred to as "fanon", short for "fan-canon". Headcanon tends to be more about individual tastes, and less about what the fandom has decided as a whole. TV Tropes has a good article on it, which I've included below. Enjoy, and let me know if you have further questions!
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Fanon
AMG Why is everypony bitching? Fluttershy sucks ass!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
this is VERY amusing
and funny
(and i dont hate fluttershy, i have no feelings toward her whatsoever i just think she's boring
not everyone really gives a crap about animals you know)
you should have a chap that deals with how her "friends" deal with her suicide
just passin' bye.
';..;' hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm haa haa haa haa haa! *munchin somethin flat and is colored red*
957036 I agree. This story has the potential to have at least two or three more chapter, minimum.