One lovely day, Twilight opens her Sunshine Book, the one that lets her talk to her Canterlot High friends. She's halfway through reading the increasingly urgent backlog from her most recent adventure when the Cutie Map in front of her sends all six of them through the mirror! Why all six? What is Discord doing in Sunset's world- and What's this Sunset's saying about a giant tank?
Rewrite in place beginning 9/23/18; chapters 9+ (if present) can be assumed part of the rewrite. All before, if rewritten, will be labeled as such. Rewrite completed 9/27/18, all chapters are fresh.
Cancelled 2/06/19, for dismal execution of what could have been a decent story. I might rewrite sometime- from the ground up this time, as a new story.
Chapters (8)
Please keep this awesome story coming, please??
8678663
Wohoo, first comment! Yes, I most certainly will.
Agreed with Merlin Prime about this story.
Amazing job as always. I eagerly await the next chapter of this riveting tale.
So isn't there anyway they can be turned back into ponies quicker, also what happened to Sunset and her friends again?
8685342
Not unless they can break/reverse Discord's curse, no... As per Sunset & friends, they returned uneventfully to the mirror world right before Fluttershy woke up. Kinda like how Athena turned into a tool for the exposition.
8685353
Too bad the portal can't be enlarged, then I bet the Mane 6 could go through, get turned into humans and then back through and return to ponies, also why not have Sunset and her friends try to use the elements to fix the pony mane 6?
8685356
Recall the Mane 6 were originally transformed into Bolos in the mirror universe- and it had no effect on them when they passed through. I'm thinking that, were it to be enlarged for their passage, they would remain Bolos.
However, that is a good idea- Humane 7 vs Elements of Harmony sounds like a potentially interesting plot event, even if they are unsuccessful... Assuming I can write it successfully, of course.
8685368
Oh, I forgot that part, also in your story do the Human Mane 7 have their necklace/geo-stones from the Everfree movie or what, because I thought if they did have them when they go through the portal to Equestria that they would become FULL versions of the Elements of Harmony, but they would be Human Equestria's Elements then.
8685371
Hmm... Back in the mirror scene, I only mentioned the anomaly absorber thing Twilight used in the Friendship Games... but nothing about the magic she would have tried to use instead if she had it. Presumably, they don't have them just yet. But time still flows- and it has been a month...
8685375
So then the Camp Everfree movie could have happened and the Human Mane 7 could have gotten their magical necklaces then.
8685378
Yes, they could have. I'm not certain if I want that to be the case just yet or not, though.
I second that motion! Please, and tank you!
Gleefully devoured what you have written so far. Slice of life you say? Sounds like a good opportunity for character development. The new tankettes have gained incredible new powers by being transformed into Bolos, but they have lost everything they cherished of their former lives and must struggle not only to accept who they now are, but to do the things they love with treads in place of hooves. Perhaps have the mane six attempt to go back to their day to day routine "as though nothing happened"?
Applejack wants to get back to farming, feeling guilty that the family had to pick up her slack while she slept. She is stronger than ever, but gone is her earth pony magic, and with it, the 'feel' of the orchard. Now she can analyse the soil chemistry, and use nanites to alter it's composition to perfection, but that's just so far from 'the way we've always done it' as to be uncomfortably alien. She can build a new barn, but her design cores keep producing 'more efficient' barn models with 'increased blast resistance' and all sorts of 'fancy agricultural contraptions' to fill them. In desperation Applejack can buck trees by gently ramming them, but no matter how long she stays at it, never does her body tire. Never does she feel the satisfaction of 'a hard days work'.
Rarity is no longer a dress designer. Her mind now contains a whole design bureau, and it's simply marvelous! She can detail millions of new styles, the likes of which Equestria has never seen! And immediately start making them, out of whole cloth. Why, she can make gems too; no need to get all dirty in underground tunnels. Then Rarity realizes that she is a massive factory, and unless she tries really really hard, all the dresses she makes will be molecule for molecule perfect copies of a perfect design. And in this case perfection means utilitarian, practical, or combat effective. Rarity no longer has a fashion sense, she can only analyse previous fashion trends and formulate predictions for future hits.
Rainbow Dash thinks this is so totally cool! She's the fastest tank in Equestria, can sleep as much as she wants, and can now literally squish any Darring Do villian. Aweeeesomeeeeee! Plus, she can do the job of like, the entire weather team all by herself with Iron Beam Cannons and Iodine Radiators or whatever. (Ion cannon and ionizing radiation. Also, Sky Writer gets credit for this joke, it features in Contraptionology).
It's late so speed writing for the last three. Twilight Sparkle can hold all of Equestria's knowledge in her memory banks, but can't fit inside her treehouse. Books are no longer so special to her, she just needs to read them once and she remembers forever. And she can't do magic, though the science is a good consolation prize.
Pinkie Pie can bake zillions of cookies with the heat of nuclear fusion, and her Party Cannon has intercontinental range. God help us all.
Fluttershy just needs to tend to her animals with her mechanical pony avatar. I mean, if that's alright with them.
8686607
Wow, thank you!
Then of course, at the moment, only Fluttershy's weapons, design cores, or manufacturing facilities function... The rest are basically still ponies on tracks- or, once Fluttershy handed out her slow MK II avatars, mechanical ponies that weigh fifteen times as much as they should (and don't feel like themselves, because they also don't have the TSDS necessary for full avatar control...)
But I like your ideas. I'm indecisive, right now, about exactly when I'll grant the other five their standard Bolo abilities, putting it down to Fluttershy not wanting to mess with her friends' minds... But whenever I do, those sound like excellent ways for them to react! Then of course, when Rainbow finds out that she is not, actually, the fastest... No, that's Fluttershy now, the one with the most powerful countergrav units. Even better, when she finds out that she is a siege unit, not a faster assault Bolo like Twilight... or Applejack. Pinkie might be disappointed at being an Assault, as she then lacks the sheer partycannon-power of the heavier siege units, like Rarity or Fluttershy- though she may also be gleeful at the speed she's able to maintain as an assault unit. She does usually move around faster than a jet plane, right?
On second thought, I can probably use some of those ideas even before they gain those abilities. Those armored avatars don't have the speed to do things like bucking, after all... And, given Fluttershy's amazing technological skills (Yes, that's sarcasm), Celestia only knows when the first one breaks down.
Too bad they can't build mini-bodies for themselves, like a robotic version of their pony selves, that way they could walk around and still do stuff like when they were normal ponies but they would still be machines.
8688062
That's what these 'avatars' are... Only problem is, they aren't working very well. And they won't, for a while at least!
Two moarter barrages just to the offside of each tank, theyll change angle of impact at least, enduing up track to track, or deflect in to a corner corner impact, or if speeds are faster than their reactions, they both end up upside down. Not sure how long it takes to use moarters for self righting.
Least, it worked last time.
8688163
That would work, true- but she still has no ammo for any physical weapons, only direct-fire (and more destructive) energy weapons. Thence, unfortunately, it's not on the list that Tactical offers. Attempting the same thing- successfully- with energy weapons would be on the list, I imagine, though turning a Bolo over with those energy weapons might be extremely difficult without destroying it. They're massively wide for their height, after all.
As for self-righting, she'd have to remote into their counter-gravs to turn them right-side-up again- and can you imagine Fluttershy taking over somepony else's body in any circumstances? I know I can't! ... Yes, neither Twilight nor Applejack have access to their own counter-gravs.
I'm sorry for being so critical of your input- it's just that, given the not-entirely-disclosed world state as it exists in my head, it wouldn't work. I do appreciate it, though- thank you!
THAT is a cliff.
Do the others have self-repair yet? No matter what happens, cleaning that up is going to be a pain.
Suggestion: Drop a battlescreen between them, or drive between them, with battlescreen on? At minimum, an extra tank between the colliding culprits should reduce the damage on all three, although again, repairs are going to be a pain in the flank.
Um, you just set off a nuke inside your hull. Only minor damage ensues, and no mention of radiation. What.
Also, um, why does she not know what it is if she built one? I would think that her manufacturing systems would tell her. (As a side note, if that gets working PROPERLY, I am guessing that it can run the avatars indefinitely? They usually run for around 4 years in a commercial power plant, but IDK how costly it is to run an android on a size-unknown fission plant. You could go with RTG instead, but those contain worse crap, at the improvement of a much smaller chance of kaboom.
Reading physics books for info is odd. She's already making far more advanced stuff (Plus, it's somehow innovating?!) than a physics book should be able to help with, unless it's a REALLY advanced AND detailed on. Is it for magitech rather than the type the bolo's Cornucopia Machine knows about?
What are the specs on the others? Why is Flutters the only one with truly working systems? Is that because she was the only modern one, and the others need to update software first, because the others don't have the hardware, or is it disable a la Discord?
Is there an ETA on -magic -countergrav -accelerated thought speed?
I don't really understand what the "interrupted" adjustment by Athena meant. Did she ever finish the updates?
Also, plot hole: Shouldn't the others also have the Tactical subprocessors online? They should at least be able to play nondestructive chicken, if not realize the mess they are making. How does a tank COVERED in cameras run something over, anyway? Shouldn't automated systems take care of that? The whole fight seems slightly OOC, anyway.
I find the idea interesting and the story good, otherwise.
I have no idea why I am complaining about a particularly ridiculous fictional war tank's implausibility... Odd...
8698853
Yes, driving between would reduce the damage on all three....
A Bolo's glacis plate, or frontal armor, is its strongest armor. Unless Fluttershy wants to turn hers into a battering ram and assure the others' deaths, she can't park her front between them. If she lets them plow into her thinner side armor, they'll almost certainly puncture her far more powerful power plants... And all die anyways. Yes, I knew the fight was OOC when I wrote it, they just snapped from the stress or something- stoic old me did that just yesterday...
As for the nuclear thing, it was a small test- oh, dozen ton range. Remember, these bolos routinely shrug off dozens of megaton-range weapons! As per radiation, perhaps little enough escaped that the (presumably working) radiation scrubbing functions in her DCC systems are able to eliminate the remnants?
Yes, her design cores are innovating, or at least trying to; No, unfortunately, they have virtually no technical knowledge to work from- only a couple of blueprints that made it across the line before Athena's upload was cut off by Discord's transformation spell. They have these advanced blueprints to start from, no understanding of the underlying principles, save her personal knowledge... And nothing at all to suggest how to make some things, like light durasteel bones. Or modern hydraulics- the MK IIs were probably leaking somewhere.
As for why Flutters is the only one capable of any Bolo-like actions, including watching multiple directions at once, that's a combination of artifacts. Discord left none of them with any software, for the most part. Fluttershy happens to be the only one whose model- and, thence, programming- matched Athena's, so the programming process went far faster for her. Athena had to modify to fit or look up from archives for the others... And hadn't gotten past basic mobility and defensive systems, even to overwriting the inhibitory programming Discord left on their personality centers. Thus, the others are no more capable of paying attention to eight hundred different cameras than a single security officer can simultaneously trace eighty different suspects scattering through a building filled with ten thousand innocents, when armed with only forty camera displays. Not like anyone but a full-powered Bolo can watch all of them at once anyways... Same goes for their tactical & design cores- with no software, they're useless.
ETA on magic & Bolo abilities... Indeterminate. Applejack's starting to break past Discord's inhibitory programming with her brainpower (I enjoy the image of her as more than meets the farm- or eye), and is slowly gaining up to her proper Bolo-like thought speed, at least. Counter-grav and other Bolo abilities will be whenever Fluttershy builds up the courage to start pushing programming- or when those other ponies ask for and install it themselves. Magic... May or may not ever come back, while they're still Bolos.
8699024
Okay. I was wondering about the interrupted upload, but was not quite able to figure that out. I guess transformation to a pony would stop the upload process (so THAT's what that meant. From the context, it sounded like she was still in communication with them post-xformation. My bad.) (hindsight is 20/20...)
RE the nuke, that makes more sense. It was a funny scene, though.
I have read little of the Boloverse, though (and long ago), so what abilities will the others have once they get past all the fun driver issues (pun intended)?
For the part on their programming (or lack thereof) and why Flutters is able to design those, yet need physics books, you may want to redo the chapter or add an author's note. Still, now I know what happened.
You had a breakdown?! That's bad. Aside from your health, I like my chapter updates. (Wicked, but kindly grin)
Try less coffee (or more coffee, depending), more sleep if possible, and a nice browse through THIS for more of David Weber's work (though you may know of it, considering which Bolo book you read). The Looking Glass Wars and Legacy of the Aldenata books are in there too, along with many others.
8699054
Yes. She technically was still in communication with them post-transformation- though only through verbal and visual signals, rather than anything even close to TSDS.
Sweet update, so will the mirror world versions of the Mane 6 along with Sunset be coming over to help out in Equestria from time to time?
8808692
Probably, yes.
the rest is actual areodynamic lift.
aerodynamic
Nice to see that this has been updated; I know that it's been half-done for a while.
I see some interesting possible things coming soon...
8808699
-Fixed
Yes, hopefully.
You should know this is one of the strangest things I've ever read!
8827225
It's also the strangest one I've ever written, in my opinion.
Overall, I'm enjoying this story, but I'm not sure how I feel about how useless you're writing Celestia and Luna, compared to the hyper-competence of Athena. It's just a personal taste thing, though.
I'm uncertain where in the overall, time of the show this all takes place, but imagine Trixie showing up with the Alicorn Amulet, or Starlight Glimmer arriving to get their revenge, and being utterly baffled. Or the poor changelings that have to impersonate them.
This chapter rewritten!
Thank you, my little ponies!
So, how much will this change? It's been a while, but there were a few salient points I can recall that would be interesting to learn the new states of.
9189644
This won't actually change much; the premise for the main story remains largely unchanged. To address your points, though...
No. The same amount of software was transferred, in total; last time, all of them had battlescreen/comms capability, now only Fluttershy does. Last time, Flutters' EW systems were missing, this time they aren't. These changes will have no overall impact on the story- but will explain why Flutters has to facilitate their connections to their avatars, rather than letting them connect themselves. As for the part about the avatars, that will stay- and, probably, slow down a bit. She was supposed to be working from pre-existing knowledge, not reverse engineering; without an understanding of any of the underlying concepts, such would be impossible. Much like if I were to show my mother a particularly long stretch of code... Like this one:
For those who don't know, that sets up a texture pack system I built to handle both internal and external files... For a more detailed description, and access to the public Java library (that I wrote) involved, ponies are welcome to PM.
And if you wait a few minutes, I've got a Chapter 2 rewrite done & ready for publication- though it's only barely changed; its only difference, really, is that the Humane 7 don't come to Equestria... and Athena is less scathing. Beyond that is taking some changes, though; there is a little difference to be noted.
Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity, and Pinkie... aren't moving by themselves anymore. Rather, Fluttershy is remote-controlling them, and will be until they wake up... or she disconnects. Athena wasn't able to emplace the generic follow-orders-and-move subsoftware she did last time; rather, her pre-wakeup system relies more on Fluttershy's capability as a Unit of the Line operating in direct command mode (auto-cancelled upon wakeup, of course). This also explains why they seemed so coordinated at Canterlot High- when the same processors are responsible for all six, that's only natural.
This chapter rewritten!
Thank you, my little ponies!
9189740
At what point, roughly, are they supposed to have functioning hardware? Is that more of a "Mel writes drivers from scratch, and is the only one who possibly could" or "FS copies some code to Dropbox"? They'll need to wake up first, but are they going to be without their defenses, weaponry, or abilities for too long?
...Hey, wait a minute. Wasn't their Discord a janitor? When did he even get magic at all?!
You should see the static wear-leveling algorithm I've been writing up, by the way. You know you have feature creep when a second-chance cache and a binary sort get involved.
All that to ensure that nopony uses the same eeprom cell in a 1k ROM too much.
Perhaps it'd be more useful if it worked on more than 2k, but I don't think anyone's done a large-scale fully-associative random-write wear leveling script for Arduino internal eeprom yet, so there's that.
Despite that, it's actually very RAM-efficient. I'm kinda shocked.
9189790
When do they have functioning hardware... No clue. But they will, eventually. No, Mel won't be involved- and FS' code won't work in their hulls, verbatum. No- she'll have to study up a bit (probably with Sci-Twi's help) before she understands enough to pick apart & reverse-engineer her own code and start producing software updates for the others.
Yes, I'm pretty sure Discord was the janitor. That's probably how he found the amulet- which mind controlled him, AND carried all the magic he used in it.
and... That sounds complicated. And interesting. And a little low-level for where I'm writing.
Java is about as high-level as it gets, for full-featured programming languages... Much more talk on the topic should probably be moved to a non-FimFic-based location. We wouldn't want to clutter our readers' comment space with technobabble, would we?
This chapter rewritten!
Thank you, my little ponies!
Wait, so they don't, or will never have, access to regular weapons? (Not sure which -- but having self-repair down is NOT good...)
If that is the case, does that mean that FS with her working design cores (and presumably DCC) will need to fix them up, or will they try to get that back online?
Okay, nevermind. I take back the DCC question, since you have already answered it.
Well, I see the tutorial quest is ready. :D
9191555
No, they will actually get DCC working again. The code for that is all in place; it's a completely separate system, critical for the function of the Bolo- and it runs independent of the rest, much like the human heart. So the Amulet went ahead and left them with that. The reason DCC is offline is by lack of nanites/manipulators... Once they reach full size, one of FS' reactors can produce those.
And no, their nonfunctional weaponry is temporary. (Why would I make it permanent...?)
9191565
Tutorial quest?
9191587
Timberwolves are the rat-hunting equivalent of MLP fanfiction. Not a complaint per-se, but it is a funny trend.
(You know, how the first quest/combat tutorial in so many games (including a few of the very old Spyro ones I own) is hunting rats in the catacombs.)
9191599
Uhh... Yes. I know a few of 'em...
Thing is, those wolves aren't real... this time. Last time, they were real, and she pew-pew-pewed them apart. This time, they're fake- holographic or something- and there explicitly to scare the fillies.
Honestly, it makes even me wonder what they did... and I did insert a single little hint as to who did it. It's probably even enough to figure it out!
9191607
It's golden... did they upset Lyra, or prevent her from digging up another Bolo? Or was it Celestia?
Those are the only two I can think of.
Yeah, I know they are fake. Still, timberwolves. If anything, it counts more since they are now "harmless"-ish.
9191617
Um... Presumably the first.
In this story, Lyra doesn't yet know that even the term 'Bolo' is a thing.
And Celestia... is in Canterlot.
But yes, you got it right
9191636
That was a joke, of course. Though, it would be funny if this were a shared AU with Secret Search or something, though.
Yay! I win a virtual cookie. Too bad they are tracking... :D
9191718
At best, this would be a crossover with Secret Search instead of with MLP directly...
It would be.... But unfortunately, SS is too far ahead for that kind of integration
Maybe I'll make a shared-AU story sometime.
9191720
Don't go for the Cosmere on first try, though. :P
Actually, I bet that would be an interesting place to write a crossover...
I doubt that it would actually work more than superficially with the lore, though. Sanderson's level of backstory/internal history is insane.
Where you write with blanks to be filled in later when needed, the Cosmere is a work of decades in a shared universe whose history existed in great detail long before he ever started writing the books. We are talking at least 27 books (or maybe 81? It's not clear) all set in a shared universe with foreshadowing, references, and epic reveals spiderwebbed across different entire series written over the course of at least twenty years!
9191738
Uh- yeah, I'm not going for something THAT level. More something like My Little Marriage/A Twilight Landing level. ... though direct different-viewpoint repeats of the same events in both stories are not likely to happen in any that I do.
Another possible similar is if Pandemic was done as two stories, rather than alternating between locations with the chapters. (That was confusing- I actually read every OTHER chapter until the alternation stopped, sticking with the human side of things... then went back and repeat, this time in Equestria.)