• Member Since 1st Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Mar 20th, 2012

DarkLordFancyPants454


I am your typical eccentric equan...who finally decided to try & write fanfics......celestia help u all, lol.

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After the Events of "Sweet & Elite" Fancy Pants invites Rarity and the rest of the mane 6 to his manor for a late dinner, while waiting on the meal he tells Rarity and the others how he first meet the lovely Fleur-De-Liz.

Fancy Pants X Fleur-De-Liz Shipping.

(Note Story is pronounced Fancy's Flower...Yay cheesy wordplay!)

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 32 )

OK Fleur's reason for leaving the Fashion Industry was actually more complicated then the one she gave Rarity. Sadly Model's aer abused in High society, some are often even used as escorts, Fleur just didn't want to put up seeing her friends in such positions anymore, or having Photo & Hoity harrassing her about being one, even though she repeatedly told them sshe would not, so she quite,

Writers Note: The Nation Fleur-De-Liz/Elizabeth hails from was started by a sect of Celestian nobility that didn't agree with the way the Princess had handled Luna's attempted uprising, thus they went to start their own small country up north, its still pretty much part of Equestria though, only its laws are made by a parliment, not by Celestia. In modern times with the recent return of Princess Luna the small nation has repeatedly sent her letters asking her to become their queen, however she has kindly refused around 50 times now. Luna just doesn't want to be in charge of anything, leave the boring work to Celestia & the other Politicians...This Queen of the Night just wants to have fun!

Writers Note: This is my 1st fanfic ever..so I apoligize if it ends up incredibly cheesy.:pinkiehappy:

Writers Note: Fancy Rules Blue-Blood Drools!!!

Damn you, Sir. You cost me £5 and the title 'Master of the Universe'. I had bet that the first Fancypants fic would be up by Monday and you were a day late.

Writers Note 2: Rarity Didn't recognize Elizabeth as Fleur-De-Liz, because whenever Fleur posted in a magazine she was always in some sort of extravagant get-up, But yeah, kind of a silly oversight on Rarity's part, but hey she's been drunk on the canterlot lifestyle for the past few days, so its understandable, lol.

54163 I do Apologize old being, but at least we learned a valuable lesson on gambling.:derpytongue2:

But yes, glad you took the time to read it. Plan to have more Fancy & Fleur/Elizabeth stuff up in the future. And when I can find they time...maybe some rainbowpie.

Not bad for your first fanfic. Although I highly suggest you sperate each sentence when another pony is talking.

54305

Thanks, and yeah, I feel kind of bad knowing even though I double checked it I still have some typos & grammatical errors in there..oh well, guess next time I will mearly have to triple check, lol. But thats what I get for writing a whole fanfic in one night.

I'm really liking this story. Good work.

54315 No worries. I'm enjoying this story.

54305
You mean each paragraph. I'll have an easier time reading it.

On another note, these 2 need character icons for searching.

54340 Yeah, that's it. And I agree with you on the character icons.

I thank you all for your kind comments, been going through and fixing lingering typos as I find them. And yes I shall deffinantly be sure to space out the paragraphs more next time. And I agree Fancy & Fleur need icons! :rainbowkiss:


But yes thank you all again for your kind comments, glad you enjoyed the story. And I look foward to putting up more fics about these two when I can.

54084
HaHa! The fun has been doubled!

haha! good job sir! love this cheesy stuff!! :rainbowkiss: blooblood = :rainbowwild: FancyxEli = :yay:

That was pretty good, if not a little rushed at points. I recommend starting a new paragraph everytime a new character speaks, just to make reading easier. Also, there were many places of misplaced/missing quotation marks and spelling errors, but that's an endearing element of any fic:twilightsmile:

Don't give up on writing, I can see great skills being developed. This was really good for a first timer!

Not bad for a first fanfiction, I enjoyed this chapter, although...

You need to separate each paragraph per speaking role

Other than that :twilightblush:

Having now finally gotten around to reading this... (You beat me to being the first Fleurfic on FiMFiction by six hours!), I found the story good, but I'd recommend investing in a pre-reader or two! As others have pointed out, the speech is a little jumbled:

“Wow” said Pinkie Pie “this is like the biggest house I’ve ever seen, I bet you could have a super duper party in here!” “Indeed” said Fancy Pants. “I have hosted many events here in the past.” “Oh by the way Ms. Sparkle, I believe you said you enjoyed a good book did you not?” “Oh yes, I love to read!” Said Twilight in an excited voice. “Well then you will have to be sure to remind me to show you around my library once we finish our meal.” Fancy said with a smile.

Should be:

“Wow” said Pinkie Pie “this is like the biggest house I’ve ever seen, I bet you could have a super duper party in here!”

“Indeed” said Fancy Pants. “I have hosted many events here in the past. Oh by the way Ms. Sparkle, I believe you said you enjoyed a good book did you not?”

“Oh yes, I love to read!” Said Twilight in an excited voice.

“Well then you will have to be sure to remind me to show you around my library once we finish our meal.” Fancy said with a smile.

As you can see, this makes it a lot easier on the reader's eyes (not to mention giving them the impression that the story's longer than it actually is, which can work to impress people :raritywink: ). There are other spelling and grammar errors, but they're fairly simple stuff that any pre-reader can help you through.

Still, don't let that discourage you, carry on writing! The more you write, the better you get at it, and the more you realise when and where to use (or ignore) certain rules and conventions. :twilightsmile:

Most of what I wanted to say has been said so I'll just be quick about it.

This was a pretty good story but the issues I find were with the wording and execution, I would have preferred that the more complicated reason for Elizabeth leaving the fashion industry was written into the story rather than have you explain it to us. There are a few grammar mistakes (you called Crone a Mare but then said "he") and it seems as though some lines are missing, particularly Twilight should have asked who Fleur-de-lis was before Rarity freaked out.

Not a bad story but it really needs to be cleaned up, the premise and plot are good but it needs to be streamlined, but then again averypony else has been saying that so I won't go on any further.

just put each thing of dialog on a septet line and your good. :twilightsmile::scootangel::yay:

Um, It's Fleur de Lis, not Liz. :rainbowlaugh:

Not a bad first attemt. Only real issue is formating. That's why the enter button is. Your friend.

I'm definitely going to read this, since I have kind of a Brony crush on Fleur for some strange reason. :facehoof:

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In your face marshmallow!!!

I don't know if can wait for 10 seconds if you know what I mean. *wink*

Way to get some F.P.!

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