• Member Since 27th May, 2016
  • offline last seen April 29th

The Dark Wolf


This is the name I use to express my fetishes. And my platonic wam interest.

Comments ( 26 )

Not my thing, but the grammar in this is fairly tight.

As for structure, the only nitpick would be:

"Not at all," said Sunset. Rarity seeing her panties wouldn't be nearly as embarrassing as wetting herself. Besides, it wasn't as though the girls hadn't all seen each other in their underwear before. Even Fluttershy wasn't too shy about it around them.

In this paragraph you have multiple actors doing things. It would be better if you spaced things out, keep Rarity's actions and thoughts to her own paragraph so she doesn't intrude on Sunset.

Keep rocking the words!

8588370
Well thank you. And, you misunderstand. This is still voicing Sunset's thoughts that it wouldn't be as embarrassing for Rarity to see her panties. It's all still Sunset.

8588372
Ah, then I would suggest rewording the second sentence. Since Rarity and Sunset are both female, the "Rarity seeing her" is ambiguous, and would normally make one think that Rarity is the "her" in question (being the most recently named female).

8588375
Done. I just thought I shouldn't use her name twice so close to each other.

And of course, raking in the downvotes already for the fetish content. But, people will always do that.

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: nice work on all chapters:twilightsmile:

8588541
It is a pretty specific demographic

Well, this was a nice little treat.

Fetish or not, if you're just into potty humor, this is enjoyable.

My only gripe is their time spent in school. From a story standpoint, that was really rushed. That jump from Monday to Friday had me doing the Time Warp.

Also might suggest that when the girls get to Equestria, their clothes stay on and change to conform to their pony bodies. Given what you've set up regarding the curse, it doesn't make sense that they can be free of it once they cross the portal.

Anyway, nice work!

8588541

But, people will always do that.

Which is...

🐂💩

8589045
Yeah, I was a little rushed to finish it in the final chapter, I had other things to do soon. As for crossing the portal, maybe I should have done what you said. But they'd want to return to their world eventually and plus there'd be two Rainbow Dashes and two Raritys walking around. Even the Twilights were distinguishable in human form. Still, thanks for the positive comment.

And, though I wrote it with the fetishes in mind, it's just as good when someone else likes it for other reasons, like if they find it funny.

8588643
Yeah, so few have the same fetishes as me and the exact same style for them. But, I do have a few fans/friends here who do like them.

A have to say, this is a very good story, I enjoyed it a lot. It has some story to it, I like how it was written overall. I specially enjoyed the first 2 chapters, but the others were also good. Great job!

8588541
Somehow I doubt it's because of the fetish.

8862904
I know this is an adult fanfic, and the show tries to have continuity and be less cartoonish, but it's still a kids show (despite all the female buttplay and farts being canon), and there are a FEW episodes that aren't written much better than my shitty stories. And I am trying to improve.

(People seem to have less quality standards on a fetish site I go to. Although, my stories there don't get many views so people who dislike them for quality or stretchiness are probably just more polite)

Well that's pretty good. You get like from me for Sunset's accident.

9863951
If you really like Sunset wettings, there's some in this story too, though she'll already be covered in all sorts of other stuff, I don't know if you prefer her to be completely clean or dry just before the wetting.

9864376
I read that too. It was fine but it's not my vibe.

9864383
I mean pooping is okay but rejects me that all mess. She can be wet but not dirty. Not counting small mess like stain from mud or cake.

9864376
I'll be really glad to read next story about Sunset. But stinky mess (not pooping) is not for me. I'm in abdl fetish so I love aduld and teen babies what means that rude and too much scary weird things disgusts me.
I'm in omorashi fetish and I LOVE bedwetting!
I'm not reading stories what I don't like so don't worry about hating!

9864415
All right then. In the bedwetting story I linked you to on another story there's no scat.

9864502
That's good. I be waiting for this.

9864504
After I posted that comment I read your other comment where you read the bedwetting one 20 times. But of course if I write another one I'll be sure to PM it to you.

9864509
I have one more request. Can you make Sunset a bedwetter? Please

9866137
I probably will. But it might take a while to write it, I got lots of other stuff to do and am getting a bit of writer's block.

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