• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Fatblack


Just someone who is likes to write.

Comments ( 20 )

I highly recommend you get an editor/proofreader. I had a hard time reading this. Other than that, I'm looking forward to this. I'm hoping Starlight's plan backfires by her getting addicted to the food and getting really, really fat as a result. :pinkiehappy:

I'm liking where this is going so far, but you really need to put this through a spelling and grammar checker. It's rife with mistakes, a little bit of technical polish will do wonders.

So Starlight isn't going to get fattened up in this story? Aw, I'm disappointed. :fluttercry: Still, looking forward to the next installment.

Great story I am really enjoying it I hope you can update ASAP because i can't wait for the next chapter

Stāsts bija lieliski! Man patika rakstzīmju attīstība un tas, kā jūs pārvietojāt starp ainas! Jūsu apraksts padarīja mani laimīgu, un es ceru, ka tu labi! Pārliecinieties, ka mērci neietilpst veļas mazgāšanas laikā!

Thanks for the update another great chapter it is now starting to get intressting I hope you can update asap because I just can't wait for the next chapter.

Comment posted by the book keeper deleted Oct 2nd, 2017

Another great chapter I hope Starlight dosent get hooked because it would be good if Starlight has to save everyone hope you can update soon please

I am liking this, a fun story so far. Just... this really needs some prereading. Some sections are just rife with mispellings and incorrect word choices. That messiness can turn off a lot of readers who can't stand the number of mistakes. A little more polish before publishing will really do wonders. Good luck and happy writing.

8463247
I'm happy your enjoying the story so far and thank you for taking time on commenting. I deffinatly need to work on need to work on proofreading better. I do read the story about three two four times and I do find a few mistakes but I always seem to miss some. With word choices I always struggle with I do usally second guess my self on them. I am trying to get better with writting and probably some day I probably will come back and fix the mistakes.

8461984
Thank you for commenting on almost every chapter and that you've liked the story so far. aslo Starlight will be addicted but dont worry she'll be the one to stop this, if it can be.

8463294
Sometimes reading it out loud can help, you hear the issue better than you see it, particularly if it's something you wrote there is the habit of glossing over exactly what is written for what you meant. That's why a second pair of eyes can really help in making something ready for publication.

8466938
That is actually really great advice I'm probably going to use thank you

So far i'm liking where it's going but.. god damn the many spelling errors and the poor grammar is a bit mind boggling..

I really like this story, I wish the weight gain was a bit more accelerated but I'm still enjoying it nonetheless.

This is an interesting story, and I like the theme of the store despite the somewhat repetitive sentence structures. there it. Keep it up.

Any hope for more?

8913650
Yes soon hopefully I've had a very busy schedule latley. I am almost done with the next chapter

Good chapter keep up the good work. It seems the opposition is going down a dark path to use the spell on ponies is just evil I can't see the Cakes doing that but I surpose you will do anything to win a war can't wait for the next update hope it will be soon.

Well, this was an interesting chapter with things progressing as they are the magic is seeping everywhere and even the Princesses are affected by it. I wonder if Starch has developed an interest in large giggly rumps now? I wonder when they will start having processing the bakes in factories?

so.. its been like.. 3 years.. any updates?

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