941191 It's gonna' swing back to hilarious in the next few chapters. One flaw in my storytelling, which I'll readily admit to, is that I have trouble keeping a consistent tone. It's hard for me to write a straight comedy without injecting a little drama, or vice versa. I promise I'll tie up all the dramatic loose ends and conclude on a high, comedic note.
Next chapter will deal with the fallout of today's events. PUN!
Where's Celestia when this kind of stuff is going down? With this much disharmony and hatred practically pouring out of the E.F.U., Discord would have been released years ago.
You know what'd be interesting? If Glowing Charity turned out to be asexual (Having her as a lesbian or bisexual would be pretty cliche/predictable, wouldn't it?)
Radiant Hope: "Charity, isn't it time to find a nice stallion, settle down and start a nice family?" Glowing Charity: "Eeeh, I'm not really interested..." *pause* Hope: "What do you mean, 'not interested'? You're not one of those disgusting fillyfoolers, are you?! I will NOT have that unnaturalness in MY house, do you hear me?" Charity: "Whoa Mom, take it easy! I just said I wasn't interested in stallions, and I'm DEFINITELY not interested in mares." *shudders* "Right now, I'm pretty good where I am in life. Do I REALLY need another pony to make my life complete? Do I really need to start a family and all that?"
Overall, very nicely done. It has comedy a-plenty but it doesn't skimp on the deep, meaningful moments. It's an allegory of our own culture sadly. It's a bit twisted that it's really only us bronies who can look at same-sex couples and go, "They should be free to love and tolerate each other."
I absolutely love the way you portray Lyra; it's absolutely magnificent.
Also, I don't mind a dramatic bit between the funny bits. Heck, if anything, it gets us to know the characters better, and will no doubt make the funny bits funnier. So keep on what you're doing!
I can't even describe the vas amounts of gusta that I felt when I read what got dumped on those two bigots. It kinda evaporated my good feeling when Lyra and Bon Bon got sad at the end though. I hope there's a happy end for everyone involved. Maybe the bigots can learn to love and tolerate. Good chapter.
This story is fantastic! Though I really did wanna have Lyra throw down, I liked the way this turned out. Had to make an account just so I could fav this story!
941184 Not everything in life can be sunshine and lollipops, even in the pony world. Bigots and intolerants will exist everywhere forever, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Sure, it isn't the happiest or the funniest of things, but this scene introduced an antagonist of sorts in a rather clever way, if not a bit depressing.
I'm assuming for the sake of my own sanity it wasn't real 'fluid'. It was some sort of fake designed to simulate the idea and gross the protestors out. I assume there's some sort of legal or financial ramification to using 'resources' like that.
Also some rebuttals:
"When one can pay for life, it becomes cheap" -You mean like hospital bills for child delivery, or paying for the justice of the peace in a marriage?
"The pure love only a man and woman can have" -Because marriages and children only come from love? Love can be the only reason for artificial insemination because that's going directly toward it.
"Unfit mother." -Berry Pinch clearly loves her mother, and unless you can indicate a moment of physical abuse or drinking during pregnancy, I don't think there's an argument for Berry Punch as a bad mother. Plus, you said she's your daughter's friend, so clearly she's been raised to be a perfectly nice girl.
They deserved it. I, personally, would've gone with Lyra's idea and fried their faces off, but getting them drenched in semen is just as good, if not better.
A thought that just occurred to me.... Where WAS Berry Punch? the scenario that leaps to mind, that she was napping FOR WHATEVER REASON, whether it be drunkenness or a long shift at work, came with a nasty twist. What if she was home, napping, because she trusted Galaxy's mother to watch Pinchy for a while?
Not sure how to feel about the use of the 'spoiled' samples... On the one hand, it was funny... In the other, i could easily see that getting spun into assault charges. Especially if some of the samples were somehow STILL viable...
The drama really just helps the comedy along. I love how we get daily chapters here-it's fantastic not to have a story that starts strong, then after becoming featured turns to one chapter a year. Keep up the good work!
I'm still waiting for when Lyra beats the shit outta the two bastards....Maybe she'll hunt them down? Anyway a little serious but still funny and enjoyable nontheless great job!
940902
no problem you already do an awesome story
Well, considering this is a comedy fic, that was fucking depressing to read.
this went from potentially hilarious to deep and meaningful like *that*. It's a little jarring, but whatever, it's a good story
not quite what i called, but more funny then emotional this way, yay
Woah...
941191
It's gonna' swing back to hilarious in the next few chapters. One flaw in my storytelling, which I'll readily admit to, is that I have trouble keeping a consistent tone. It's hard for me to write a straight comedy without injecting a little drama, or vice versa. I promise I'll tie up all the dramatic loose ends and conclude on a high, comedic note.
Next chapter will deal with the fallout of today's events. PUN!
Damn that kicked ass
Where's Celestia when this kind of stuff is going down? With this much disharmony and hatred practically pouring out of the E.F.U., Discord would have been released years ago.
You know what'd be interesting? If Glowing Charity turned out to be asexual (Having her as a lesbian or bisexual would be pretty cliche/predictable, wouldn't it?)
Radiant Hope: "Charity, isn't it time to find a nice stallion, settle down and start a nice family?"
Glowing Charity: "Eeeh, I'm not really interested..."
*pause*
Hope: "What do you mean, 'not interested'? You're not one of those disgusting fillyfoolers, are you?! I will NOT have that unnaturalness in MY house, do you hear me?"
Charity: "Whoa Mom, take it easy! I just said I wasn't interested in stallions, and I'm DEFINITELY not interested in mares." *shudders* "Right now, I'm pretty good where I am in life. Do I REALLY need another pony to make my life complete? Do I really need to start a family and all that?"
And so it goes on from there.
941191
That is the trick. Get them to laugh to draw them in, and keep them laughing when the drama hits.
EFF you Fundies! True to life man. True to life.
Man this is a great story, you are doing absolutely fantastic on it!
I called a shitstorm.
Instead, it rained rancid semen.
Not too far off the mark, actually.
I did say it would cover all over which it passes in its horrid filth... and I have to say that was very on the mark.
You never answered my question, though, dear author. Did you work at a sperm bank once? You know a little bit too much about its inner workings.
941206 Well, so far it has been a lot of drama with a little bit of comedy. Good read though!
Oh god.
First we had the Party Cannon.
Now Pinkie is going to want a Jizz Cannon.
AND PONYVILLE HAS AN AMMO DEPOT FOR IT!!!
Overall, very nicely done. It has comedy a-plenty but it doesn't skimp on the deep, meaningful moments. It's an allegory of our own culture sadly. It's a bit twisted that it's really only us bronies who can look at same-sex couples and go, "They should be free to love and tolerate each other."
Ah approve. Greatly. Ah may not a filly fooler mahself( Ah is liying worse than discords days now.) Ah aint this closed minded.
I absolutely love the way you portray Lyra; it's absolutely magnificent.
Also, I don't mind a dramatic bit between the funny bits. Heck, if anything, it gets us to know the characters better, and will no doubt make the funny bits funnier. So keep on what you're doing!
I really wanted to introduce those protesters to the business end of a shotguns bean-bag round.
But this works too
941206
"Littlepip's visiting from the future?!"
I can't even describe the vas amounts of gusta that I felt when I read what got dumped on those two bigots. It kinda evaporated my good feeling when Lyra and Bon Bon got sad at the end though. I hope there's a happy end for everyone involved. Maybe the bigots can learn to love and tolerate. Good chapter.
This story is fantastic! Though I really did wanna have Lyra throw down, I liked the way this turned out. Had to make an account just so I could fav this story!
"Daddy!" the filly said, "Protect me from the gayness!"
pphhh ha! ha ha hahahahaHAHAHAHAhahaha ha ha.. huh. Burn in hell bitch!
I personally like that you switched from comedy to serious.
Im loving the story so far.
Hehehehehe. Good stuff. Looking forward to more!
Great fanfic! I can't wait to see how you incorporate Big Mac.
941184 Not everything in life can be sunshine and lollipops, even in the pony world. Bigots and intolerants will exist everywhere forever, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Sure, it isn't the happiest or the funniest of things, but this scene introduced an antagonist of sorts in a rather clever way, if not a bit depressing.
941421
Yeah, I know. It was a little jarring, but I can see why that happened.
Hell, when I try to write drama, I wind up putting in humor randomly.
I'm assuming for the sake of my own sanity it wasn't real 'fluid'. It was some sort of fake designed to simulate the idea and gross the protestors out. I assume there's some sort of legal or financial ramification to using 'resources' like that.
Also some rebuttals:
"When one can pay for life, it becomes cheap"
-You mean like hospital bills for child delivery, or paying for the justice of the peace in a marriage?
"The pure love only a man and woman can have"
-Because marriages and children only come from love? Love can be the only reason for artificial insemination because that's going directly toward it.
"Unfit mother."
-Berry Pinch clearly loves her mother, and unless you can indicate a moment of physical abuse or drinking during pregnancy, I don't think there's an argument for Berry Punch as a bad mother. Plus, you said she's your daughter's friend, so clearly she's been raised to be a perfectly nice girl.
They deserved it. I, personally, would've gone with Lyra's idea and fried their faces off, but getting them drenched in semen is just as good, if not better.
I read this on the train and burst out in inappropriate laughter. Always a good sign. Can't wait for Chapter 6
I laughed... hard...
Looking forward for the next chapter!
A thought that just occurred to me.... Where WAS Berry Punch? the scenario that leaps to mind, that she was napping FOR WHATEVER REASON, whether it be drunkenness or a long shift at work, came with a nasty twist. What if she was home, napping, because she trusted Galaxy's mother to watch Pinchy for a while?
Not sure how to feel about the use of the 'spoiled' samples... On the one hand, it was funny... In the other, i could easily see that getting spun into assault charges. Especially if some of the samples were somehow STILL viable...
Y'know, I may not support homosexuality, but I don't condemn it either. If they want to spend their lives together, that's their choice.
Maybe it is unnatural, but that does not give you the right to deny someone their happiness!
WAHAHA! Bucking serves them right!
NEED MOAR But it's worth the wait
Not what I expected, but still totally awesome. I loved it! That family got what was coming to them...
This was RICH
I loved all the hilarious terms and puns
Keep'em coming
awesome. cant WAIT for the next update
HAHAHA that was great! Why can't I give this more faves and thumbs ups? WHY?!
The drama really just helps the comedy along. I love how we get daily chapters here-it's fantastic not to have a story that starts strong, then after becoming featured turns to one chapter a year. Keep up the good work!
yay, comeuppance!
About time. Those assholes insulted two of my favorite ponies.
Will PM you with suggestions of revenge.
Why do I enjoy this so much?
''...better known as a sperm bank.''
ALL OF MY YES!
I'm still waiting for when Lyra beats the shit outta the two bastards....Maybe she'll hunt them down?
Anyway a little serious but still funny and enjoyable nontheless great job!
It's sad to say, but there are people out there that narrow minded. They look at the exeptions, not the rules.
>Bon Bon wrapped her arms around her marefriend and cried as well.
What are these 'arms' thou speakest of.
Someone should dump semen on Westboro.
I hope berry pinch is ok and we see her mom
YEA LYRA!!!
the way the atomic family used those foals (kids) was just wrong, on the other hand, the fact that the staff went with they're earlier plan was great