Egy magyar fiú vagyok aki szereti ezt a sorozatot és a fikciókat.(I am a Hungarian boy who like this Series and the fictions).
The Cutie Mark Crusaders thinking about how they get their cutie marks and when they go into the Everfree forest to speak with Zecora they find three changeling colt. Why are they there? What wait to the Crusaders?
This is my first story. I will be very thankful for advices.
Special thanks to my great proofreader Literary!
Page generated in 0.079 seconds
Total duration
1,066 users online
1,526,419 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I do like the concept of this story and the only way to get better at writing is to write more, so keep up the good work.
Now I can not give you many pointers regarding the style of writing, but It does feel a bit awkard in some places. One advice I can give you is, before posting here just throw this into a free version of grammarly and clean up small mistakes like these:
image.ibb.co/jhAFe6/Screenshot_from_2018_01_10_18_38_49.png
Small things that the app will not fix:
Said Scootaloo a dour expression on his face. -> I would assume sour and on her face.
What is Apple Bloom, -> probaly missing "it" there.
PS: I hope you take my comment as a positive way on how to improve, because the story holds a lot of potential and I can't wait to see what you do with it
Stay awesome.
good concept, but get a proof reader
Consider getting a grammer check program. Otherwise good story so far.
8687709
Hello!
Nice first two chapters. I am eager to read the next one.
I recognize the first changeling in the pic(the red one), its reinflak! I haven't read the story yet, i'm waiting for some more chapters to get out.
P.S. http://thefreakchangeling.tumblr.com
8700297
The case is that this image was the best what I found. I don't knew about that, but eh... you could everyday learn something new
Ynop htrae - Earth Pony
Asus Peg - Pegasus
Uni Corn - Unicorn
I see. Why is unimagine.
This can only end in fire. I'd have the Mane 6 visite them one at a time. Like Pinky and Fluttershy first with Twilight and Applejack last
looking at the cover art, anyone else momentarily mistake the middle bug as a riolu/lucario?
Says that this is the final chapter, but the story is still tagged "Incomplete" instead of "Complete"?
Oh sorry! I will immediately solve that.
this short story shows so much promise and the idea is super strong.
i know that this is your first story but now that it is finished it is time to go back over it with a strong editing team and polish it up to were it should be.
9750231
I tried to find help with grammar, Celestia and Luna knows I am not too good with that, but it just not worked. If you or somepony else who you know would comment or PM to me any mistakes and faults you can find I would be grateful.
9750876
to be honest with you and i am in no means bashing you or your righting it would take hours to go over a full story.
and i would recommend you doing it your self as there are several programs out to help with spelling and grammar.
this would help you more to do it that way than to have some one do it for you.
9751533
I did, I went trough at least three, or more times every chapter, but these things are not easy. But, I will do my best to correct the mistakes. If anyone can point out a mistake I would be grateful.
Timeline 2
MY HO.. HAND IS A TWITCHY TWICH!!! (The two storys i found including this one is making My HEaD
GO CRaZZZZZYYYYYY!!!!!)
AAAAAAAAAAAA'
'''''\\\\\|||}{|||/////'''''
YAY