A Broken Day, A New Hero

by TooShyShy

When the Day Breaks

Moondancer stood still, listening to the racing of her heart. Her determined gallop had slowed and her eyes were focused on the doorway at the end of the hall. Through the pounding of her heart, Moondancer could hear maniacal laughter.

The hallway itself served as a flawless metaphor: a crumbling, wilting piece of once-grand construction. The forest—unforgiving and untamed—had encroached on something once so pure. Moondancer stood amongst decay that perfectly reflected her state of mind.

For Princess Luna, Moondancer told herself.

No, that wasn't right. It wasn't simply the life of her beloved princess on the line.

For Equestria! Moondancer thought.

With this battle cry echoing in her mind, Moondancer charged forward. Her heartbeat practically matched her hoofsteps as she galloped, but Moondancer didn't slow down. She reached the doorway at the end of the hallway and charged through without hesitation. Only after she'd crossed the threshold did Moondancer finally stop in her tracks.

Illustrations and woodcuts could not do this pony justice. No artist could have captured the cruel sense of pleasure that burned in her eyes. Even the most skilled of artists wouldn't have been able to emphasize the inferno of animosity that comprised her being. She was beautiful much like her sister, but hers was a malevolent type of beauty. This was the pony who'd burned forests and villages. This was the pony who'd threatened to set Equestria ablaze.

“Daybreaker,” Moondancer whispered.

The bravery left Moondancer's body in one exhalation of breath. Her stomach churned as it filled with her new-found cowardice. Had it really been mere hours since she'd last laid eyes on this pony? It felt like days, weeks, or months since Moondancer had been struck by such a strong realization of her own mortality.

Daybreaker stepped forward, her mouth twisting into a malevolent grin. She unfolded her wings as she walked, every step leaving a singed hoofmark on the stone floor. The decaying courtyard seemed to shrink as she approached.

Moondancer was rooted in place. She could only watch in horror as this vision of destruction closed the distance between them.

“Aw, how cute,” Daybreaker said. “Silly little Lulu sent me a toy.”

She stopped a foot or so away from Moondancer. Her gaze swept across Moondancer's body, appraising her much smaller frame. Daybreaker's grin widened. Her horn lit up and a small white flame appeared inches from it.

“What a pity that I always break my toys,” Daybreaker said.

The flame steadily began to grow. Moondancer—still frozen in place—watched it. In theory, she could simply teleport out of the room. In theory, she could open a portal directly underneath Daybreaker's hooves and send her plunging into an abyss. These were things Moondancer could do in theory. In reality, Moondancer was fully aware that she was an egghead who had never cast an actual spell in her life.

Daybreaker cackled.

“What, no sarcastic retort?” she said. “What a boring little foal you are. I feel like I'm doing Equestria a favor.”

The flame was now the size of Moondancer's entire body. Even from relatively far away, she could feel its heat. However, she could still not bring herself to move. Moondancer's life was already flashing before her eyes as she faced her certain doom.

At least I made it this far, Moondancer thought.

She closed her eyes. There were no tears, but perhaps in a second or two she would be sobbing. Moondancer took a deep breath, then lowered her head in submission to her fate.

A minute later, the flame—now the size of Daybreaker herself—hit Moondancer. She did not scream as it engulfed her, nor did she put up any semblance of a fight. She simply allowed herself to be rapidly overcome by the inferno. A second before the fire reached Moondancer's head, she mouthed the words I'm sorry. Then she was gone, utterly consumed by the fire.

Daybreaker turned away with a triumphant laugh. What was her sister thinking? Daybreaker had expected an army of well-trained pegasus soldiers or a platoon of unicorns equal to Clover the Clever in terms of power. But this? This was pathetic.

“Goodness, Lulu,” Daybreaker said. “Could it be you'd rather sacrifice an innocent pony than try to take me down? What a self-absorbed creature you've become. I quite admire it.”

She directed her attention towards the five pedestals at the end of the room. Ah, the Elements of Harmony. Princess Luna's last resort. She hadn't even hidden them in some type of vault buried underground and secured by three layers of magic. Daybreaker almost regretted the ease with which she was going to destroy Equestria's final hope.

“Think of it this way, my dearest sister,” Daybreaker said. “You and me will have plenty of time to reconnect as we watch Equestria burn to the ground. Perhaps I can even bring you around to my point of view. You'll listen now, won't you?”

Daybreaker aimed her magic at the first pedestal. She watched the marble orb turn from white to red as it began to heat up.

Moondancer opened her eyes. She blinked in puzzlement. It took her a second to realize that she could move. In fact, Moondancer did not have so much as a singed mane. The world had taken on a sort of blueish hue she could not understand. Was this what death was like?

I'm alive? Moondancer thought.

She suddenly understood the blueish hue. A bubble of protection had sprung up around her, shielding her from the attack. For the first time in her life, Moondancer had cast a spell. Her mouth open in surprise, Moondancer reached forward and tapped the bubble with a hoof. The moment her hoof touched it, the bubble evaporated.

Bad idea! she thought, abruptly panicked.

Daybreaker seemed to be focusing her energy on destroying the Elements. She had not noticed Moondancer's “resurrection”.

Moondancer acted without thinking. From the depths of the inner spellbook she didn't even know she had, there came a burst of magic. Moondancer closed her eyes and focused her magic on an unbroken statue a foot away from Daybreaker. She could feel the power flowing out of her, slowly engulfing the statue.

The statue twitched. Its head dipped forward slightly. It took a clumsy step forward, then paused as if appraising itself.

Daybreaker's attention left the Elements for a moment. She turned in time to see a massive statue of a pegasus guard bearing down on her, the spear in its hoof raised. Daybreaker shrieked and lunged out of the way. The spear slammed into the ground exactly where she had been standing. The spear crumbled the moment it hit the ground, but the statue barely paused at the destruction of its weapon. It simply raised its now empty hooves and started towards Daybreaker again.

“What?!” Daybreaker shouted.

An orange fireball erupted from her horn and hit the statue square in the chest. The statue flew backwards and exploded into dust.

Snarling, Daybreaker turned to face Moondancer. An expression of surprise darted across her features. Then she smiled. After all, Daybreaker had wanted some form of challenge. She could hardly complain.

“Well, well, well,” she said. “I guess Lulu wasn't being purely selfish by sending you to your slaughter.”

Several pieces of rubble surrounding Daybreaker burst into flames. She levitated these pieces of rubble and flung them in Moondancer's direction. Moondancer stared dumbly at the approaching projectiles for a second. She squeaked in surprise as her magic yet again worked seemingly of its own accord. A pair of ghostly wings twice the size of her body appeared at her sides. The wings propelled Moondancer upward. The burning pieces of rubble crashed harmlessly underneath her.

Daybreaker laughed.

“Is that all you can do?” she sneered.

An immense yellow ball appeared at the tip of her horn. It rapidly rose into the air above Daybreaker, trailing a long yellow chain behind it. When the chain was long enough to reach about the length of the room, it came to an end. Grinning, Daybreaker whipped the glowing yellow ball towards Moondancer.

The wings evaporated and Moondancer plunged to the floor. She attempted to slow her descent, but only managed to somewhat cushion the fall. The yellow ball crashed into what was left of the wall, sending down a shower of burning debris. Moondancer was winded and in pain, but thankfully her spell had prevented her from breaking any bones. Her gaze turned blearily upward as the rubble cascaded downward. Moondancer's horn lit up and she found herself yet again encased in a bubble of protection. The debris bounded harmlessly off the bubble's surface.

The glowing yellow ball cut the air again. This time it hit the bubble of protection directly. Rather than bouncing off the surface, it sent the bubble—and Moondancer—flying backwards into the wall. Moondancer cried out as the bubble burst on impact.

“I must say, you're putting up quite the fight,” Daybreaker said. “Much more entertaining than my foolish sister. She tried to negotiate, the sentimental fool.”

A wall of white flame appeared in front of Daybreaker, concealing her from view. Moondancer had to squint into the intense light.

“I guess I can see why,” mused Daybreaker. “She knows I'm more powerful than she could ever hope to be. Why even risk getting on my bad side by putting up a fight?”

Moondancer raised her head to stare at Daybreaker. Her expression was not of fear or worry. It was an expression of annoyance. She had had just about enough of Daybreaker's nonsense.

“Are you just going to stand there monologing?” Moondancer demanded. “Why don't you just kill me already? Are you really that attached to your cliché villain shtick?”

She got to her hooves with unexpected ease.

“Give me a break,” she said. “That stuff was overdone before you were even born. Do you think you're the first 2-bit hack whose irritated all of Equestria with their boring speeches about how bucking evil they are?”

Daybreaker's mouth dropped open. Her horn glowed as if a spell was waiting in the wings, yet she was too caught off-guard to cast it. She regarded Moondancer as if she was some kind of alien creature.

“No wonder Princess Luna sent you to the sun,” Moondancer went on. “It had nothing to do with you burning villages. She was just tired of your cheesy monologues. Do Equestria a favor and get some new material before you finish us off.”

With this, Moondancer teleported behind Daybreaker and into the center of the pedestals. It happened so abruptly that it took a moment for Daybreaker to realize it. By the time she comprehended what had occurred, Moondancer was already firing up her horn. Her eyes blazing with hatred, Daybreaker whirled around with an animalistic growl. She seemed to have lost all sense of control at the realization that she had been tricked.

“I'm going to wear your fur as a hat, you meddling egghead!” Daybreaker screamed.

Moondancer barely heard the threat, nor did she hear Daybreaker's hooves pounding the stone floor. She vaguely felt a spot of heat touch her face, but a sliver of Moondancer's magic slapped it away. She gritted her teeth, attempting to focus her magic both on activating the Elements and keeping the wailing Daybreaker's attacks at bay. She couldn't multi-task like this forever. One or the other was going to completely burn out Moondancer's magical abilities, leaving her either defenseless or unable to activate the Elements.

Daybreaker appeared directly over Moondancer, her hooves poised as if she planned to bring them down on Moondancer's head. Her eyes were wild and her mouth was open in a furious snarl that revealed pointed teeth. Daybreaker's hooves began to smolder as she held them above Moondancer's head. A large flame bloomed from each hoof. Daybreaker began to bring her hooves down, her expression turning to triumph.

Then the orbs began to rise into the air. Daybreaker stopped, her face filling with panic as her eyes darted from one orb to another. She took a single step back. No, there was no way this disgusting foal had done it. There was no way this pitiful unicorn had singlehoofedly activated the most powerful weapons known to Equestria.

“No,” whispered Daybreaker. “No!”

Moondancer felt exhausted, but she smiled.

“What, no dramatic speech?” she said. “No yelling about how unexpected your defeat was, even though it wasn't at all?”

Daybreaker opened her mouth to utter a final snide remark or perhaps a shriek of defeat. However, the chance was stolen from her. Daybreaker closed her mouth, the look on her face expressing bemusement. She looked around to find that the orbs had ceased their glowing. As Daybreaker watched, the orbs shuddered for a moment, then plunged to the ground.

Moondancer's smile fell. She took a step backward, her eyes on the useless orbs. This was impossible. Princess Luna had promised. The books had promised. Moondancer collapsed, her expression blank. This simply couldn't be happening.

Daybreaker uttered a harsh laugh. She slammed both hooves on the ground, a series of cracks skittering from her hooves and across the stone floor. The orbs surrounding her burst into flames. Daybreaker watched in satisfaction as the orbs melted into foul-smelling white goo. All that remained were the gemstones, none of which were glowing even faintly.

“Silly Lulu,” Daybreaker said. “She was always far too trusting of magic.”

Moondancer stared at the remains of the Elements. Her heart was rapidly sinking. What had convinced her—even briefly—that she was a hero? What had made her think she was anything more than a pony who was obsessed with learning? Moondancer had thrown herself into her studies with abandon, yet even in Equestria's greatest time of need she proved herself to be little more than distractions. At that moment, Moondancer felt as if she was one with the rubble around her.

What did Princess Luna see in me? Moondancer wondered.

Princess Luna saw books, and glasses, and perhaps just the tiniest bit of potential. She saw a pony who could become a great spell caster if only she learned to use half of the spells she studied in great detail. Well, Moondancer had done that to an extent and she still hadn't lived up to Princess Luna's idealized version of her. She'd even come to Ponyville and made friends at Princess Luna's request. Apparently it was all for naught, as Moondancer was never going to see any of those friends again.

“Sulking?” Daybreaker said. “I don't blame you. If you weren't such a pathetic excuse for a unicorn, I might have some empathy towards you.”

Moondancer forced herself to look away.

“I'm sorry, Princess Luna,” she whispered.

She was about to close her eyes, but her ears perked up. Moondancer frowned. Was that somepony calling her name? Did she hear hoofsteps in the hallway? Moondancer strained her ears.

“Moondancer!” a voice was shouting.

She recognized the voice. It was the voice of a pony she had met less than a day ago. A pony she had ordered—along with five others—to remain outside while she took care of everything. As the hoofsteps got closer, Moondancer's gaze returned to the Elements. An idea was forming in her head.

I thought of them as friends, Moondancer realized.

They'd been through a harrowing adventure together and only with their combined skills had they survived. They were the closest things to actual friends Moondancer had had in a long time merely for sticking by her side. She wasn’t sure she loved them, but she at least respected them. If it wasn't for these ponies, she may not even be alive.

The five ponies burst into the room one by one. All of them stopped in their tracks at the sight of Daybreaker.

Daybreaker eyed the new arrivals with amusement. The tip of her horn began to glow yet again. She felt she should be outraged at yet another distraction, but Daybreaker found it somewhat entertaining at this point. How many woefully unprepared ponies was Princess Luna planning to send Daybreaker's way before the ashes started to choke her?

“I see you've brought your little army,” Daybreaker said.

Moondancer got to her hooves. How had she ever allowed herself to be intimidated? How had she ever thought for a second that she was the hero of this story? They were all heroes in their own right.

“I'd prefer the term "friends" is nothing else,” she said.

Party Favor nudged Coloratura excitedly.

“Oooh, she said the thing,” he said. “Did you hear it? Did you hear her say the thing?”

Sky Stinger stepped forward with a confident smirk. He unfurled his wings like a bird of prey and eyed Daybreaker.

“Bet thirty bits I could take her,” he said. “Hoof-to-hoof combat, street rules, triple or nothing...”

Vapor Trail laughed nervously. She stepped out in front of Sky and held up a hoof to stop him. She looked to Quibble Pants and then Moondancer for support.

“There’s no need for violence,” she said. “Right, Moondancer?”

Moondancer wasn’t listening. She had zeroed in on a solution, but she wasn’t one hundred percent sure it was worth the risk. She shot a look at the ponies gathered behind her. They knew what they were getting into. Moondancer needn’t feel too bad about risking their lives to test out a spur-of-the-moment hypothesis. Only a little reassured, Moondancer turned her attention back to Elements.

Daybreaker didn’t like the self-assured expression on Moondancer’s face, but she dismissed it. She eyed the remains of the Elements with a vicious sort of optimism.

“It seems you overestimated my sister yet again,” Daybreaker said.

She practically quivered with exhilaration. She was already picturing her name burned into the mountains and fields. Daybreaker could see herself sitting at her throne, surrounded by the ruins of a land that had once underappreciated her. The ponies of Equestria had made the grave mistake of celebrating the beauty of the night whilst ignoring the beauty of the day. Daybreaker was about to teach them a lesson by bringing the very sun they never praised down on their ungrateful heads.

Moondancer met Daybreaker’s grin with one of her own.

“Before you make another hour-long speech, I think you should take a good look around,” she said. “If you think my plan failed, you must be too flank-deep in overused tropes to see what’s right in front of your face.”

She gestured towards the group of ponies standing behind her.

“Come on, you can do it,” she said. “What do you see? How would you describe these ponies I brought with me?”

She answered before Daybreaker could open her mouth.

“That’s right,” she said. “They’re ponies who are united against you. We’re all here for the exact same reason and we’ve formed a bond our shared quest. If you’d bothered to pick up a book that wasn’t about writing evil villain speeches, you’d recognize the ultimate harmony in this wonderfully colorful land of equines we live in.”

Daybreaker’s smile wavered. She found herself losing her cool yet again as she stared down an annoyingly unfazed Moondancer.

“Whose giving speeches now, you hypocritical whelp?” she said.

Moondancer ignored the jab. Well, this was it. All or nothing. Time to see if she’d made the right call those few minutes ago.

“The Elements are right here,” she said.

A yellow gemstone detached itself from the melted remains of its orb. It pulsed with the strong light of its inner magic. The gemstone contorted as if it was made of clay for a moment, gradually re-shaping itself. When it had taken the shape of a star, it appeared next to Vapor Trail and pressed itself against her neck. Vapor was startled for a moment, but the warmth of the Element’s magic soothed her.

“If it wasn’t for Vapor Trail’s kindness and encouragement, we wouldn’t have finished our journey,” said Moondancer. “She represents the Element of Inspiration.”

Another yellow gemstone arranged itself into the shape of a lightning bolt and appeared on Sky Stinger’s neck. He shot a victorious look in Daybreaker’s direction.

“Sky Stinger’s confidence allowed us to appreciate our abilities and overcome an otherwise impossible obstacle,” said Moondancer. “He reminded us that we don’t have to be amazing flyers or skilled at magic to overcome barriers. He represents the Element of Courage.”

She was thinking of Sky Stinger’s impromptu pep talk when they came across the cursed vines. Echoing the words of many a past flight instructor as he charged in himself, Sky Stinger had reminded all of them that they didn’t need to be the best to try their best. Moondancer had realized that Sky Stinger was completely aware of his lackluster abilities as a flyer, but he had never faltered in his determination to become a Wonderbolt.

A pink gemstone vaguely resembling a balloon animal appeared on Party Favor’s neck. He let out an impressed “Oooh” and poked it with a hoof.

“Party Favor helped us cross a sizeable gap using only his wits and thousands of balloons,” Moondancer said. “He represents the Element of Imagination.”

A multi-colored gemstone resembling a circle of musical notes appeared on Coloratura’s neck. She prodded it uncertainly, but there was a smile on her face.

“Coloratura used her beautiful voice to soothe a savage beast,” said Moondancer. “She represents the Element of Unity.”

She thought back to Coloratura’s moving speech about how song was the ultimate expression of teamwork. Song represented a perfect alliance of musical notes coming together to create something raw and beautiful.

A white gemstone shaped like a speech bubble appeared at Quibble Pants’s neck. He stared down at it quizzically. Were they really going with the magical destiny thing? It seemed like such an unoriginal conclusion. However, Quibble was willing to see where this went.

“An adventure like this take brains,” said Moondancer. “Quibble Pants might be a pain in the flank, but his puzzle-solving skills are unmatched and he knows how to get out of danger using only his intellect. That’s why he’s the Element of Analysis.”

She didn’t add that he was the only pony who agreed with the absurdity of the whole adventure, as well as the added absurdity of Princess Luna’s bizarre request. Moondancer had found him insufferable at first, but she quite admired how he stuck to his opinions and had engaged her in some stimulating debates.

Daybreaker cackled, but this time it was forced.

“And what of the sixth element?” she demanded.

Moondancer hesitated. This was another shot in the dark, but she had research to back it up and she’d been right up to this point. It was time to bring it all home.

“With the power of these Elements combined…,” she began.

She could sense Quibble Pants rolling his eyes, but she silently thanked him for not interrupting her. Quibble seemed to have as much faith in her as all the others.

“……the sixth Element will appear,” Moondancer finished.

She could feel her magic being pulled towards something far above her head. Moondancer didn’t look. She knew what it was. Moondancer smiled as power started to rush into her body. This was what all her research had been leading up to. This is what she’d been training for all these years without even knowing it.

“The Element of Wisdom!” she said.

A gemstone shaped like a crescent moon appeared directly above Moondancer’s head.

Daybreaker was frozen in disbelief. Her bravado had evaporated as memories of her past defeat came flooding back. As she stared at the gemstone above Moondancer’s head, a part of her long locked away began to fight its way to the surface. Daybreaker did her best to hold it back, but she could feel it clawing its way into her conscious mind. One word bubbled out from her throat.

“Lulu?” she whispered.

Ribbons of rainbow-colored light began to flow out of the gemstones. The ribbons arranged themselves into a massive circle of shapes—a star, a crescent moon, a speech bubble, a lightning bolt, a balloon animal, and a musical note—that floated between Daybreaker and the other ponies. The circle was rapidly overtaken by an intense glow that began in the center and worked its way towards the edges. When the glow had reached peak intensity, the circle fired a beam of rainbow-colored magic.

Tears had sprung to Daybreaker’s eyes. She watched numbly as the rainbow beam pierced the air. Only when it was inches from her did she finally react. Daybreaker screamed as she felt the magic being stripped away from her. Layers upon layers of animosity and magic were burned off in the heat of the beam. As Daybreaker’s very self was torn asunder, she shouted one last curse upon Princess Luna and the land of Equestria.

Moondancer and the others were thrown backwards as the beam seemed to explode outwards. Moondancer’s horn glowed as she reached out for her comrades with her magic. A weak bubble of protection surrounded each of them, softening the impact as they hit the ground or one of the crumbling walls.

Moments passed before the smoke cleared. Their once crumbling surroundings had been reduced to little more than ashy remains. Most of the remaining statues had been completely obliterated and there were wide patches of grass visible where there should have been stone floor.

Coloratura slowly got to her hooves. She had a splitting headache, but it was better than a split head. She turned to look at the ponies closest to her to see if they were in similar condition.

It seemed Vapor Trail had thrown herself at Sky Stinger to save him from a falling chunk of wall seconds after the explosion. She was now helping him to his hooves. She seemed a lot less worse for wear than he was, despite having directly hit a wall only minutes prior. Granted, Vapor Trail’s bubble of protection had absorbed most of the impact.

Quibble Pants and Party Favor were lying in a heap. Party Favor was struggling to untangle himself as Quibble Pants talked feverishly.

“That was dangerous,” Quibble Pants was saying. “I mean, that’s probably the most danger I’ve ever been in. Holy Luna, that was exciting, but also terrifying and I think I might throw up. I had a feeling something like this might happen, but it was just so unlikely, you know? I told myself it was way too obvious, but what do you know? I did good, right? Right? I mean, as good as I could have….”

Party Favor was mumbling enthusiastic agreements.

Moondancer closed her eyes. After the day they’d had, she just wanted to sleep. She could hardly believe any of that had happened. However, Moondancer knew she’d better get used to having saved Equestria. This was probably going to be the beginning of something big. She opened her eyes and looked at what remained of Daybreaker.

Princess Celestia stood in Daybreaker’s place. She was surrounded by pieces of glass and tiny flames. She was a lot smaller and less regal than she often appeared in illustrations, but that was to be expected. Celestia was still recovering from having been consumed by hatred for over a thousand years. Her floating ethereal mane was currently a simple bubblegum pink.

“I’m sorry,” Princess Celestia was whimpering. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean any of it. Oh, how could I have let this happen?”

A beam of moonlight shone directly onto Celestia. Celestia turned her tear-stained face upward to gaze at the moon.

“I forgive you, my sister,” a booming voice said. “You will have to work very hard to earn the forgiveness of my subjects, but I myself cannot hold a grudge against you.”

Moondancer immediately kneeled and bowed her head. Her friends quickly followed suit. They knew that voice. It was a voice they’d all heard in their dreams at least once.

The moonbeam turned into a broad staircase. From this staircase descended Princess Luna. She appeared a lot happier compared to the last time Moondancer saw her. She was attired in traditional royal armor and her ethereal mane was tied back in a ponytail. For Luna, mere seconds had passed since her fateful battle with Daybreaker that had led to her being trapped on the moon. In reality, it had been nearly a day.

Sobbing, Princess Celestia raced forward and buried her face in her sister’s neck.

“I know I can never make up for what I did,” she said. “I hurt so many ponies back then.”

Despite her memories being fuzzy, she seemed to recall there being no actual casualties. There had merely been destroyed property. However, Princess Celestia shuddered to imagine how many would have suffered or died if Luna hadn’t used the Elements against her. Daybreaker’s power and lust for suffering had been growing day by day. Princess Celestia’s sobbing increased as she recalled the terrible things she would have done if Moondancer and the others had not intervened.

Princess Luna patted Celestia’s head. It was such an odd situation. She had always been the younger sister, the one seeking comfort in the face of adversity. Princess Luna couldn’t say she liked how the tables had turned, but she had grown so much during those one thousand years without Celestia’s guidance. Luna felt she had finally become a princess worthy of ruling by Celestia’s side.

“You are forgiven,” said Luna firmly.

Princess Celestia raised her head and looked past her sister. She smiled through her tears at Moondancer’s group.

“Thank you,” she said. “You doused the fires of anger with teamwork. Very few ponies could have done that. I am grateful and will grant you whatever you want.”

Sky Stinger’s eyes lit up. He was thinking of that limited edition deluxe Wonderbolts wing-grooming kit he’d seen in a magazine. They were sold out—and cost six hundred bits—but he was still desperate to get his hooves on one.

“Anything?” he said excitedly.

Vapor Trail jammed her hoof into his side.

Princess Celestia did not seem fazed. She laughed, albeit it was a bit strained. She began to wipe the tears from her eyes. This wasn’t quite the rescue committee she’d been expecting, but Celestia was grateful there had been one in the first place.

“Yes, anything,” she said. “You don’t have to decide now.”

Sky Stinger opened his mouth, then closed it again. His request could wait until later.

“This calls for a celebration!” announced Princess Luna. “We must throw a grand party to celebrate the return of my beloved sister to her rightful place.”

Celestia wasn’t quite prepared to stand in front of her subjects again, but she couldn’t object to a celebration. After all, they all had a lot to celebrate.

“I’ll bring the balloons,” said Party Favor.

Tears of happiness were streaming down Princess Celestia’s cheeks. At last Equestria was safe. At last she was free.

Comments

[AilingStar]

Brilliant! I'm glad that I took the chance with this story.

...More please?

[Hoops]

[EmberLight]

...It's a pity, I actually wanted daybreaker to win

[TooShyShy]

8245736

I'm thinking of writing some other stories in the same alternate universe, but I haven't really decided yet.

[DualKitsune]

Interesting, I would never have pegged this group for the Elements of Harmony. I also enjoy how you changed the elements though Untiy might have been a bit of a stretch...

[sahroo]

Bleh. Expected a Daybreaker fic, not a knock off Nightmare Moon fic. While she was just a figment of Starlight's dream, in the episode, Daybreaker made it clear that she took pride in her power and superiority, that she could be the sole ruler if she just exerted her dominance. That that is what Celestia (as Starlight sees it) secretly wanted. Just making Daybreaker have Nightmare Moon's motivations is, well... unsatisfying. Daybreaker was a different character that had different motivations, not just Nightmare Moon in a different skin.

I don't think the story was bad as an alternate reality, but it failed to capture the character Daybreaker as she was given. I'm willing to suspend disbelief for the rest of the characters, to accept them in their new roles, but since Daybreaker's motivations were defined concretely, it just feels... silly, to put it succinctly
---
That paragraph about Luna being trapped in the moon is confusing as well. It would have been fine if Luna's location was explained somewhere in the first half of the story, but shoehorning it in after the climax is confusing, as, originally, Celestia was never officially trapped anywhere and your story merely makes the assumption Celestia was trapped in the sun by Nightmare Moon in the original episode. It comes off as assuming the reader has the same head canon. (Maybe I'm wrong about this, it's 3 AM, I'm a tad drunk and I do not feel like fact checking)
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At the end, Celestia and Luna's relationship didn't feel right, either. Apparently Luna was the loved one, but also greatly depended on Celestia for guidance. Kind of feels like a back down on the role reversal to me.
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I did chuckle at the rest of the team, though, I wasn't expecting those changes, so I did like that.
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I do hope this comment is taken as constructive and not as someone whining about how you didn't write the story right or something like that. If this story is how you feel the characters should be portrayed, I respect your decision as an author, I just wanted to throw in my two cents. I've been wanting to read Daybreaker fics since Canada aired the episode, so I'm just a bit disappointed she was just an alt skinned Nightmare Moon, is all.
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Also, typo, at some point you called "Daybreaker," "Daybreak." Don't know if you fixed that since I downloaded the story. "Surrounding Daybreak burst" to find it easier.

Also, also, I love you 💓

[TooShyShy]

8299335
Thanks for your constructive criticism. I'm always looking to improve my writing (both fanfiction and otherwise) so comments like this are a big help

[fanreader999999]

Meh