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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I can't wait till everypony, (Espically Rarity, Rainbow and AJ) find out Twilight's actually a MARE. Oh, that'll be priceless.
Well that answers why they thought that Twilight was a stallion. They figured she just had a soft voice. I love this chapter. i can't wait to see how the girls react to Twilight as the story goes on and if she ever reveals she's actually a mare.
to celestia
"do you still plan for twilight to acend? what are your thoughts regarding her royal guard training? do you have a special weapon and/or armor in the works for her after acension?"
Shining Armor: What are your thoughts on the possibility of mares confusing your sister for a stallion?
Rainbow's really got it bad for Twilight here.
I wonder if nightmare will make the same mistake? she might make a comment about guard competence....
8247978
I personally believe they'll pass through a moment in confusion... And then decide they don't give a damn. Twilight is getting drowned in mares one way or the other.
I do believe she'll be a total down in bed, though. She works enough in the field to do it too in the bed. Being treated as a Lady will certainly be a novelty.
I'm a TwiDasher though (even if Mono tries Rule sway my heart), so I have a favorite pairing already
Buff, military stallion in uniform from the shining jewel of their nation, with just a light hint of femininity and a soft voice. Yeah, can see the girls tripping over themselves for that.
to Twilight: How is palace guard food?
They don't... is she? Gotta make these agree. Tense and term in this case.
or
tone
Not bad at all... little polish but the story is fun.
Ponies can just, see octarine.
i have a question for applejack how are big mac and applebloom doing i'm just curious
8248055 Thanks, all fixed.
8248056 Ah, someone got it! 🏆
8248067
well... they are wizards. <chuckles>
8248044
they'll be in for a wake up call when that armor comes off or spike reveals her gender (after laughing of course)
8248090 Wizzards, you mean?
No prices given away from guessing who the love interest is, huh?
This paragraph is extremely... clunky. I mean, I got that it was about Spike, ramming it in 3 times in such a short span was not really needed I don't feel.
Her body? Isn't Twilight a stallion as far as Rares is concerned?
I don't know, this part felt a lot more... stale. I get that it's the same "they go meet M5, and proceed to evoke attraction to one of them in said M5" template, but you just randomly cut out heaps of dialogue and exposition. I get that not every fic needs to have 100k+ words, but saying "and then they walked home without interacting with Fluttershy in any meaningful way" is just weird.
The one thing that I can't really get through my skull is how blind they have to be not to notice Twilight is a mare. Unless this Twilight is like a Big and Buff mare. But then again, even women with some serious muscle tone still look feminine. I would post an example, but it's pretty NSFW...
It's a female MMA Fighter with some Epic Abs by the way.
I'm waiting for an amazingly awkward gender reveal
8248123 Spike is a little taken by Rarity.
As for the second paragraph, you are reading a story in 3rd person omni, so while each paragraph is focused on an actor, it is not the actor's actual thoughts unless stated.
8248148
See, you kind of defeated your own point then. If it is not the characters' thoughts we are seeing, then the first paragraph has no reason to be so stiff.
I dunno, something like that.
Question to Applejack & Rainbow & Rarity: Do you interest in having relationship with a mare?
To Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, & Fluttershy: What are your thoughts on the Royal Guard?
Note: After they find out Twilight is a mare, I want to ask them the same question.
8248105
No, there's only one of those.
Oh, uh... yikes. I hate to be the one to break it to the poor mare, but.... yeah. Better luck next 'stallion', eh Rainbow?
Also, at this point, Rarity knows that Twilight is a mare, yes?
Just a reminder, everypony, vote on the question you want answered!
This is like an idea I had but was never quite smart enough to write.
Not a reverse Twilight as a stallion but a Twilight was Always a stallion and no one ever noticed (except Spike and he assumed everyone knew)...
anywho ... continue with the awesomness! reading readers await restlessly!
Shining Armor: Have you or Twilight ever been in live combat, and, if so, did Twilight pull some crazy strategy out of the air?
Is Twilight a good Big Sister Spike?
Excuse me, miss Velvet? How would you react if you knew mares had the hots for your daughter because they thought she was a stallion?
To everyone asking "Doesn't X notice Twi's a mare?" and such questions.
No. No one has noticed anything, it's fairly plainly laid out in the story. They all think Twilight is a stallion. She is buff, fills out her armor the same as the stallions do, is essentially the equine equivalent of a very manly and handsome woman in shape and carriage. She does not hold herself or walk like a mare (due to military training from a young age surrounded by males most of her life, and likely being treated as 'one of the guys' the entire time). Nothing in the story suggests she maintains feminine mannerisms or body tells. Everything was at least referred to in the story. (This is essentially a Dusk Shine-with-femme-Mane 6 story, except Twi is a faux Dusk Shine.)
None of the girls suspect. Rarity, at the most, with her eye for detail - noticed that Twi's voice is feminine. She thinks Twilight is a dashing stallion with a gentle voice, which is apparently something of a fantasy of hers from her teenage years. And we all know how Rarity gets with fantasies.
The point of this story is that no one in Ponyville realizes Twi is a mare (when they do I suppose the point will more accurately reflect the title in that she simply doesn't care about their foiled infatuations - conjecture). If they started noticing in the same chapter they meet Twi I would question the point of this story at all. So even if they find out next chapter, that much was at least accomplished as it should have been.
See you all on chapter three, enjoy the suspense as we wait to see everypone's reactions after the eventual reveal!
Um, can't you tell the difference between a stallion and a mare by the shape and size of their muzzles? I don't know how they mistook Twilight for a stallion. It's like one of us mistaking someone of the opposite gender when we can clearly see their facial features.
I like the story a lot and I want it to continue, but this plot hole is just annoying the hell out of me
8247978
I'm actually expecting a genuine record-scratch in the next chapter if the bomb gets dropped (because it's a Pinkie Party. Speaking of which, I wouldn't be surprised if Pinkie already knows the truth anyway, but she might play things up at first for the fun of it).
Carrying on the confusion for too long though would be needlessly convoluted I think and the humor of the first impression everyone has of her being a stallion would be overshadowed by the comedy of errors that would be necessary to continue the misconception for a protracted period...
Once the initial confusion is cleared away, anyone new she meets would go through the same motions of misconception followed by confused enlightenment and we could see the results of that, plus the embarrassment they would get whenever the six go to a new place in a group, everyone mistakes her for a stallion and assumes the other five are her "herd".
8248284
This. Really wish I could upvote your comment more than once. I was mainly here just because I'm a sucker for Guard!Twilight, and so far this has been a rather entertaining read.
Why is this rated M?
I believe you mean "tone of her voice,"
8248349 Fixed, thank you!
8248299
Personally I'm waiting to see how many mares start inadvertently or even purposefully questioning their sexuality after all this goes down. Seeing which might actually keep up the attraction (and the general confusion it might cause them) after the bomb gets dropped is also a fair source of humor!
8248309
Oh, thank you. Just trying to help out, I notice people not realizing exactly what's being laid out in the story, and some applying their own outside thinking trying to defeat the mechanic of the story instead of accepting something simple: "Whatever it is that would obviously give Twilight away as a mare is instead easily mistaken for the masculine equivalent due to her background, circumstances, and potentially also armor."
8248354
For some reason, I feel like I should know you, or that I've read a lot of stories by you, or talked to you, are something like that, but this is the only story of yours that I've read, and I don't remember any conversations that I may have potentially had with you. A lot of your stories are on my read later list, including one that is one of the stories I've had in my read it later list for a long time. Or is it? I don't remember.
Anyways, good story, this. It's on my favorites list. Just as I have done with the others I give a favorite to after a short amount of chapters, when it's early on, I must issue my warning: Don't let this story become bad or I will rip you to shreds. It's a good start, and if the quality remains at this level, or even gets slightly worse, I am fine with this story.
8248371 I used to write a fair bit of TF related stuff on SoFurry (under the same name), and yeah, have been writing here for a year and a half now. A few friends here and there credited me on their stories, too.
I'm going to guess that the name of the next chapter will be, "There Was A" and the one after that will be, "Mare".
8248436
>.>
<.<
Maybe?
Very amusing story nice work.
But now I'm wondering if Pinkie will 'play along' and pretend Twilight is a stallion just because...
I'm kinda hoping for a scene where some stallion that knows Twilight is female will start flirting with her and she responds: can you picture the look on the other mares?
Oh, c'mon, she's the most magical pony in the world, how can anything be too octarine for her?
8248519
THIS! Oh so very much this!
Is it bad that I really enjoyed Rainbow Dash finally ran into something that was less fragile than her?
This whole story is making me think of the first episode of Ouran Highschool Host Club
Apples!
Best one so far was with Rainbow Dash, I think. Fluttershy's internal dialogue seemed a little OOC though. Also, have we gotten confirmation about Twilight's sexuality in this universe? It's clear she can admire a mare's beauty, but is she actually attracted to them? Is she into stallions? The people HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW!!!