Diary of The (Not So) Great and Powerful Trixie

by Mitslits

Entry #2

Dear Diary,
Mommy hasn't gotten any better, so I still go to visit her every day. When I go, we usually snuggle up and talk, but lately Mommy hasn't seemed to want to talk as much. Her voice sounds like it hurts her, so I try and make sure she doesn't have to use it much so she doesn't feel any pain. Mommy swears that it doesn't hurt her and that she loves talking to me, even if did hurt her, but still. It's been two weeks since I wrote in here. Daddy told me yesterday that if Mommy doesn't start teaching me magic soon, I'll have to go to magic kindergarten. He says I'll have to go there if I ever want to perform for the princesses or in front of anyone for that matter, but it sounds so scary. A bunch of fillies and colts, all watching me. And me failing. My horn can't even get up a good glow yet. Mommy said that a good glow is essential to successful magic. So today, at my hospital visit, I asked Mommy to teach me how to lift a rock. I know that's one of the first things they teach you in magic kindergarten. I figured if I could do that and show Daddy, he would be convinced that I could learn and wouldn't put me into Magic Kindergarten. Mommy told me to get a rock, so I went outside and found a really pretty one. It was dark purple, like her, and it had silver-blue swirls, like me. I thought that it was like the two of us together and it made me really happy that I found it. Then I brought it back to Mommy, a big smile on face because of the pretty rock. But when I peeked into the door, she looked sad as if she had been crying, but then she saw me and got happy again. But I don't think she was really happy. I didn't ask her why she was sad. I kind of didn't want to know. So I put the rock down near her and looked at her. Mommy told me that it was as pretty as me and then she pulled me close and stroked my mane. I felt something wet drip onto my mane, but when I looked up, her face was turned away so I couldn't see her. Then she turned to me, a smile on her face and she glanced at the rock. She told me to concentrate really hard, and to picture the rock lifting in my head. I tried, but it didn't work. I stared at it so hard, I thought my eyes would pop out of my head, but still nothing happened. Then Mommy told me to close my eyes and try again. So I did. I tried really, really hard, and I pictured it in my head, but nothing happened. I felt so disappointed I almost cried, but I remembered that Mommy was already sad, so I didn't. I knew my crying would make everything worse, so I got angry instead. Not angry enough to do anything, but mad enough to not cry. Mommy told me we could try again tomorrow, but I'm too scared to try again. I left the rock at her bedside, because I couldn't bring myself to look at my failure again. I've tried practicing here at home, but it's even worse without Mommy telling me how to do it. I got a regular dull gray stone to practice with, but that didn't help at all. If anything, it made it worse. I am even more scared of going to magic kindergarten now that I know I can't do anything with my magic. Except lift a quill to write. But that's even easier than lifting a rock! It takes practically no effort at all. Oh, and I can turn a page in a book too, but it's really hard, so I usually just use my hooves. But turning a page is STILL easier than lifting a rock. I'm getting really sleepy cause it's a little past my bedtime, so I'd better stop writing. G'night Diary.