Hi, I'm a random Brony, and this is the story of how I became... well, see for yourself. I do have to say that meeting death and dying, then living, is definitely something I don't plan on ever doing again... but I've heard of some strange things going on to the Diamond Dogs, so I'm going to investigate.
At least, once I get out of this damned giant jar.
This is my first story and is set in the Chess Game of the Gods universe (stemming form the wonderful stories of Rust, Blackwing, and many others).
Enjoy, I hope.
(WARNING: Contains Awkward Situations!)
Chapters (1)
So yeah, what do you guys think of this?
I don't actually know if this was good or bad, it's hard to judge when you're writing it.
*hesitantly and gently presses the publish/submit buttons*
hmm, Is it a bad sign if the buttons seem like ash to me?
889264 Glad you enjoyed it!
I'm loving this so far! It would be amusing if he stayed skeletal or at least remained undead somehow (I'm not sure if this has been done before), but gryphons of any sort are great.
This story certainly has potential, and I look forward to seeing more.
890171 oh don't worry, he's going to stay undead for a bit (The next day is going to take more than a single chapter while he regenerates his actual body)
890248 yeah, I did feel like I wasn't going in with enough descriptions (scenery, etc) but I haven't really been taught literature. I'm self taught so I'm not familiar with many things I should be doing, ie describing, story progression, character dev, etc etc.
I was planning on taking it more slowly for the next couple of chapters: at this point 'Bones's' mind is in chaos, and I'm thinking of limiting the descriptions to what he pays attention to, otherwise he'll be talking about things he doesn't know about (unless I change this to 3rd, which I am better at doing :/ )
thanks for being honest guys! (I just realised there isn't an 'innocent' AJ smiley, so this smug one will have to do,)
"Skeleton got your tounge" Tongue
"Bieng in a giant jar is certainly a strange " Being
" I definatley would not" Definitely
this will happen some time tomorrow-
it laughed at it’s poorly constructed pun, “will you?-
Those are the largest grammatic faults I find.
899747 Spelling mistakes, my ancient enemy :/
Edit: I think I fxied them, but i'm not sure, been having really bad internet problems so it might not have saved or something