• Member Since 24th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Tuesday

The Shade


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Indeed, what will I do when everything goes wrong? When I end up in a land where my speciality is frowned upon like a curse or taboo, what can one do?
Indeed, what can I do?
Warning: Horrible grammar.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 85 )

TOO FAST ... slow down please

It's 'Sylvanis'. :ajbemused:

You've made your character overpowered, and I doubt Twilight would die just from seeing Scythe. After all, irl King Sombra would likely be far more terrifying than a robed biped.

You need to capitalize your personal i's, for example "I need to go there."

Well, not so much convincing when I said that i'dd summon demons and slaughter this entire village if they didn't.
As the powerfull soul returned to it's body he smiled and started feeling wobbly, using this much energy wasn't something he was used too.

Try to keep it to one perspective through the entire story. Also, that should be 'to'.

The Necromancer (Who's name's still unknown.)

This breaks immersion and insults your readers at the same time. Until you actually give us a name, we know that we don't know his name; you don't have to tell us.

As he stood up (He fell out of the portal.)

Include this in the action itself, not as an afterthought. For example, this should have gone something like

"The necromancer (or 'I', depending on what perspective you want to stick with) took a step through the portal and... promptly fell flat on his(my) face.

Lastly, you don't seem to know how to spell damn, so I'll help you out with that.

Damn


i.imgur.com/7iudW.jpg

-WW out.

Dr. X: Rushed. And undetailed. I believe you did not even try to put any work on this story.

Raven:

2998237 Thank you, and i'm still learning mind you! :)
I'll go and edit this chapter before I start on the new one, to say it like this: The Necromancer is level 80 T9 whilst the Manticores were level 70 and Celestia's level ?? Luna's level ?? Whilst Twilight's level 90, I know that Necromancer is not a real class in wow, you don't play a game for eight years without knowing the classes :twilightblush:.
Well, i'll be editing and stuff.

2998117 Very well, it's hard to, quote on quote, *Slow Down* Without any brakes, gotta let the gas of first :P.

2998237 Also, the idea was that I used 'The Necromancer' in past and use ' I ' in present.

2998237 By the way, I can't find a link on a warlock T3 gear but imagine this with a cooler color.

2999399 I see... though that would explain the manticores, it doesn't explain how he was able to spell-lock a level ??? first try.

Yes, I realized you were just starting. That's why I took the time to offer constructive criticism, otherwise I would've moved right along.

:trixieshiftright:

2999592 Luna's not a *Raid Boss* So to say, she's elite and level ?? But she's not immune to Mind Freeze or Spell Lock's. She could be immune later in as a result of her mind getting used to it but for now she's really just... Just a high level elite.
Celestia however is a raid boss xD.

2999596 I see. Well, as something to help you along in any future endeavors, I would suggest taking a look at this group. It offers some useful advice for folks just starting out.

2999601 That would be great except i'm at the hospital right now, i'll take a look at it when I get home.

2999603 Nothing serious, I hope?

2999604 I fell down the stairs into my sword collection two-three days ago and got some pretty serious cuts, i'm currently on my phone.

2999606 My, but that does sound rather unpleasant. Hope they get you fixed up soon.

2999609 Yeah, i'm typing with my left hand like, a feet away from my face, which makes editing even harder xD.
But I should be up and going in a few days, thankfully I somehow managed to save my face and throat from cuts, but my leg was almost impaled *Shudders* damn that would've hurt.

2999612 I can imagine. In the future I would advise against putting your sword collection at the bottom of a set of stairs... accidents do happen, after all. :derpytongue2:

2999614 They weren't in front of the stairs, I fell over that... What's it called? The thing you hold onto whilst going down? Yeah I fell over that when I was almost down and did a falcon-gutslam into the swords.

2999616 Fell over the guardrail? How'd you manage that?

2999627 Shower, soap on my feet and recently cleaned stairs.
And there was whisky involved.

2999628 Eheh, a truly terrible combination and the beginning of many misadventures. Well, on the bright side you'll have some cool scars to show the young ones whenever they need entertaining, mmm?

2999636 Indeed, but I had plenty from before, such as when I actually got into a knife fight without a knife, a big scar up my entire left arm.
Or I could just make up some gossip story about it.
Btw: I'm trying to write the other chapter on my phone, let's just say with the amount of spelling errors i'm making I think it'll take a while before published...

2999644 Mmm... when you get back just copy/paste it into Google Documents. It'll point out your spelling errors and you can fix them. That's what spellcheck is for, after all.

Well....that was fun....

2999752 I think there's a higher chance that you favorited for the comments than the story, this is my second try at writing in like, years, and i'm currently in a hospital bed.

2999756 Nope. I actually read the story....Though there are quite a few errors, the ideas themselves are ok...

2999767 Yeah, i'll try my best to complete the next chapter soon, but I can't publish it until I get home.
Unless you want it unreadable beyond recognistion of course.

2999770 God, no, please. I may be nompletely cuts , but I have a limit....

2999783 Thought so.
Also a fair warning to everyone shit may or may not get DARK, the Random tag is there for a reason, and that tag breaks the 4th wall.

2999787 FUCKING YES! ....oops....excuse my canterlock, please?

2999798 To say it like this, i've been studying Necromancy for a while and whenever I get surprised I kill some innocent bug around me out of randomness.
And this guy I describe in the story is about two THOUSAND times stronger than me, then there's Pinkie Pie.

2999802 Shh:twilightblush:, No spoilers:duck:...Or i'll.....:flutterrage::pinkiecrazy::flutterrage::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::trollestia::moustache::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy: You...

2999808 I wish you good luck, I fry bugs for fun without touching them xD.

2999810 ....I do the opposite, and I cause a thunderstorm whenever I'm outside for more than 30 minutes..... And that's totally real:ajsmug:

2999798 Also, i'll never get used to the expression *Canterlock*

3002618 NO! NO ALSO! USE A BETTER SYNONYM! THAT WORD IS THE DEVIL!

3002754 AND THE ROYAL CANTERLOCK STRIKES AGAIN! :trollestia:

3002756 RAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!! IT BURRRRRNNNNSSSSS!!

3002787 BUT OF COURSE! IT'S ALSO CALLED 'THE ROYAL FIRELOCK' BUT UNEXPERIENCED CASTERS, BUT WHAT DO THEY KNOW?!

3002790 NOOOOOOOO! THE IMPROPERLY USED LANGUAGE! STOOOOOP! IT HURTTTTTS!

3002823 INDEED IT DOES GOOD SIR! THE ROYAL CANTERLOCK CAN ONLY BE USED BY US ROYALS! :moustache::trollestia:

3002828 I AM BLOODY ROYALTY! ...Wait....There wasn't improperly used English language in that sentence....Carry on.

3002932 YES INDEED! THE ROYAL CANTERLOCK SHALL RULE THE WORLD ONE DAY!

But will the story blend?

3003142 Knowing how dark i'm planning this shit to get when i'm home and not in a hospital bed, you wouldn't be able to see it at night.

2999667 I'm removing that whole Arthas part because I couldn't find where to go with it.
Also, if you've ever seen a T3 Warlock in Classic in the opposite faction you'd run for your rainbow-blazing life! They kill you within a second.

3025494 That is for the best, I believe.

Somethin's clugging the good 'ol writer pipe up again, can't seem to figure out him burning a certain somepony without making him seem TBC Paladin OP.

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