Igneous Rock was working in the fields like he always did. His life was good, his wife, Cloudy Quartz, was at the hospital delivering their third child. He had wanted to be there but had been told by his wife to go home and relax. Life was about to get a little harder, so Igneous went home and went to work. The rocks weren't gonna move by themselves after all.
He was forced to stop, however, after moving a rather big rock. He heard a loud cracking sound and ran to the other side and found a shocking sight: Eggshells, big ones. Most were sticky and as far as he could tell, they had been placed there a long time ago. He had crushed them with the rock; smashed them to pieces. He didn't know what to say until he noticed that he had missed one of the eggs. He looked at it, it was a big one, a really big one.
"Why hello," Rock said to the egg, thankful that he hadn't crushed them all. He looked around, wondering what on earth could have left its eggs here. Not one to let some poor creature die before it was even born, he carefully picked it up and put it in his saddlebag before he trotted back home. He found, to his great joy, that his wife was home with their newest little bundle of joy.
"Shh," Cloudy said in a tired voice, "she's sleeping." Igneous looked at his third child and smiled, she was bright pink. It was a nice change of pace for their dull life to see some color every day. One of their daughters, Maud, was looking blankly at her new sister. The other, Limestone, was more interested in the large bulge in her father's saddlebag.
"Hey, Dad! What's that?"
"Hmm?...oh...OH! Um, I had an accident in the field." He talked about crushing the other unknown eggs with a rock, finding an unbroken one, and how he had taken it home to avoid any more damage befalling it. "I think the mother had abandoned them," Igneous finished. But that still left one unanswered question.
"So what is it?" Cloudy pondered as she set the egg under a heat lamp. They were thinking about checking some books to see what kind of egg it was but Limestone, in her opinion, had a better idea.
"Listen here, egg!!" She suddenly yelled, "Hatch right now, or I'm throwing you out of this house!!" This turned out to be surprisingly effective, as the egg immediately shook and cracked. The rest of the family was shocked.
"Wow," Maud said in a monotonous voice, "I can't believe that worked." The egg continued to crack until a small, purple, clawed hand popped out. The hand caused a lot of shock, even more so when a baby dragon came out, looking at them. Before anypony could react, it made a cute little squealing sound and started sucking on its own tail. After what felt like an hour of freaking out while staring at the baby dragon and talking, Limestone made the call.
"It's simple," she said as she grabbed the dragon and placed it on her back. "If he attacks me he goes. If he doesn't then he can stay." This was followed by the baby dragon yawning, curling up, and falling asleep on her back. "See, he knows who's in charge." Limestone walked to her new sister and placed the baby dragon next to her in the crib."See! They're like twins. Born on the same day and what not! So what are their names?"
"Pinkie,” Cloudy said as she looked at her new children.
"Spike," Igneous declared, "because he has...spikes on his head."
"That's ridiculous," Maud intoned plainly.
"Too late, I named him. Their names are Pinkie Pie and Spike Pie."
Just a small bit of constructive criticism. You have slightly too much commas. Some of them would do better as periods, and some are fine.
Little short and a bit rushed and as said above grammer is a slightly issue but not a bad story.
Two paragraphs later;
See the problem here?
Hmmm....not great, but also a lot of promise. Then again it's hard to delivery high quality content in under 1k words, ESPECIALLY for the intro for a story.
Still, I plan to read more as I feel this has some good potential
Could use some editing, but I found Limestone yelling at an egg to hatch to be funny-and in character.
I'll be following this.
first my dragon brother and now this. At this rate we're going to have fanfictions with spike being raised by each of the mane six's families.
not that I think that's a bad thing
9218589
Oh, I hope so!
9537711
No prob, thanks for reading
9218589
There is now one with Spike being raised by the Apple's. It's really good
That's going to be an awkward conversation in the future!
"Son, I accidentally killed all of your biological siblings when I found you."
9218589 9537850
It would be interesting to see one where Spike grew up as a sibling to Rarity and Sweetie Belle.
Twilight would be the love interest when she shows up for the Summer Sun Celebration i guess?
Where's Marble Pie? In Season 5 Episode 20, "Hearthbreakers", Pinkie explicitly says, "This is Marble Pie, my baby sister who's only a few minutes younger than me but she'll always be a baby to me, isn't that right?"
Other than that continuity error, this story seems promising. Will definitely keep reading!
10520295
I made Marble a few years younger cause I was unaware of that fact till like chapter 30