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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nice
Have you ever saw an anime called Shimoneta?
Hm, a bit of a supernatural spin to this one?
What would happen if Spike didn't show?
Anyway, good way of starting off the story.
Professor Flintheart: WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE?!
I`m glad u made this story Wildcard
You never disappoint me, Wildcard25
*Favs and follows this story*
Nice beginning. I will follow this.
Fav and follow.
So no Mane 6-7 ?
At least Spike didn't wake up in bed with the sirens in the nude.
7974613 Yet...
Alright, you just keep giving us great stories. Will Twilight go all over protective sister on Spike?
5:17am wow my sleep schedule has been derailed
Hmm kind of makes me think of Kobayashi's Dragon Maid in a way.
This reminds me of My Bride is a Mermaid.
7975053 just replace the mermaids with sirens. This won't end well for poor spike I just know it.
And Of course, that "oh shit" feeling creeps into his life!
Nice premise, but execution's a bit choppy and grammar is kinda poor, not bad, but far from good
At the end of the chapter you could have said "Something seems 'fishy'."
(rimshot)
I like the premise, but it's a bit awkward to introduce a girl by her cup size. Try to give descriptive words like slender, voluptuous, moderate, modest, full, bouncy or others instead of just a straight up size. In fact, it's not really necessary to go straight to her chest at all. A brief description of the face and maybe body type is fine. I would suggest saving the breast size talk until it actually comes up in situations like when Twilight was hugging Spike from behind.
Keep up with how the characters interact with each other and don't worry too much about giving a detailed body description until the story itself calls for it. You certainly didn't feel a need to describe Pip or Spikes other male friends in great detail.
7976190 Meg, seems too easy.
Well this is going to be fun and FINALLY A DAZZLINGS STORY!!
7976393 Sure it would be, but it would be so corny it is funny!
7975053 me too
7976431 it is not the first. the first was in spike's gals.
Looks like it is going to be me asking, but are they in the mod? Because they can not be yacuza.
7975480 no that is a "oh god why have you forsaken me so!" Moment.
Oh boy oh boy.
I can't wait for an update! :D
7986301 That was a chapter. We've never seen a story with Spike X Dazzlings as the main plot.
What the-
What's going on here?!?
It's like one of my Japanese Animes!?!
It's kinda awkward to introduce a character by chest size. Wait to mention it when something actually happens like when twilight hugs spike. You don't even have to say the exact size, just a descriptive word. The cup size thing would work in something like high school dragon because spike is a pervert and his mind would immediately go there. But here it kinda comes off as bad taste.
Oh and its hilarious that Lyra just automatically assumes that spikes mysterious shoulder pain is connected to some random singing. If it's meant to be a shot in the dark that turns out to be true, have one or two of the other characters look at her like she's crazy.
Other than that this chapter is a fine start.
8045265 he could have started a year later
8040262 totally unrelated to what you but i have to say you have an awesome avatar
It's been awhile since I read your stories.
*Pops open a soda*
Lets the games(fanfic) begin.
You know, you don't need to mention the cup size of every female in your story. It just makes you seem like a pig. Other than that, good story, looking forward to more
7975053
Yes, exactly my thought.
8032708
That's WildCard's M.O.
I always find it completely unnecessary to state the 'size' of breasts through the cup terms, it just ruins the reading. Much like Lovecraft, it is best to give a good metaphor one can latch onto than simply put a simplistic term like E cup and such because it is just a number. Something like, 'The softness of a firm water balloon.' or 'A firm pillow that gives under the slightest touch with a texture akin to jello.'
Seto No Hanayome!! Okay, no, but the premise with the mermaids reminded me of that.
Hm. This sounds a bit familiar...
Dude, she's your sister. This ain't the Apple Farm.
8197762
(Passes out Popcorn)
Here you go, pal. Have fun!
Did they all have to be stacked? I mean people keep screaming up Adiago's appeal of a slightly smaller chest but damn fine hips.
Okay first off. Twilight's hair is DARK BLUE, with a pink AND Purple stripe. How do people keep messing that up?
Also wouldn't Twilight have the same bust size since in show they are just colorswap.
9147024
I know fam. That's exactly what I said. I even pulled up some pictures to double check. But it's his story so if he wants to slightly change their hair color or personality. Then we should let em, while silently judging. But I swear on everything that is holy in the world if Pinkie is Blue I'm loosing my shit!