• Member Since 22nd Nov, 2016
  • offline last seen Jan 31st, 2018

Pastel Candy Candies

I was shattered, yet you picked up my broken parts. I was torn apart, yet you stitched me up. You never gave up, so neither will I.~ Pastel Candy Candies


Day One: I'm drifting away

Day Two: I miss my sissy.

Day Three: I'm alone, and scared.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 6 )

I don't understand.

7963450 She's died and she's going to heaven but she's not an angel Note: Read that only if your ok with minor spoilers.


Huh. Well, this is a neat lil' thing.

One thing I would like to bring up is your character voice.
The story's being written by an eight year old, right? (Unless you're being clever, in which case you can ignore me.) So you've gotta make it sound like it's being written by an eight year old.
Something like this:

I don't know how much longer I can take it, it feels like it wants to rip me apart and drive me to the brink of insanity.

doesn't really sound like it's written by an eight year old, does it? Same goes for things like 'I don't know your gender'. Consider swapping it out for something more juvenile sounding, like 'I don't know if you're a boy or a girl'.

Before I read this, what is the Dark and Horror tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

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