Equestria girls Hell rider

by Tunefulsubset72

The caretaker

---4:30 am, unknown warehouse, outskirts of Canterlot city---

"Hurry it up." A Changeling said as a group of changeling drones loaded a truck. "Chrysalis said we need to be out of here as soon as possible."

"Why do we have to leave, did the police find out where we are?" One of the drones asked.

"No, I was told that the Ghost Rider was spotted a half hour ago." The leader said as some the drones gave worried looks. "And if he comes here, we're boned, SO HURRY IT UP!!!!!" he yelled as the drones sped up their work.

"You hear that?" One of the drones said as a motorcycle was heard, followed by laughter."Uh Boss?"

"Yeah, I heard it." The leader said as drone sped up there pace." HURRY IT UP!!!!"

"You got it boss." One of the drones said as the laughter died down. "Boss?"

"Quiet." The leader said as the motorcycle sound stopped.

"One, two, Riders coming for you, Three, four, better lock your door, Five, six, gonna need more than sticks, Seven, eight, you're gonna see the gate , Nine, ten, now I'm awake again." A voice sang from the shadows. "Here's Ghosty!"

"SHOW YOUSELF!!!!" The leader yelled as the voice cackled. "What's so funny?"

"Why you, of course." The voice said as the changelings drew their weapons. "Those won't save you." The voice said as a chain flew out of the darkness and wrapped itself around one of the drones neck and pulled it back into the darkness as it screamed. "One down, the rest of you to go." The Rider said as he stepped out of the shadow, dragging the changeling behind him."So...who's ready to die first?"

"OPEN FIRE!!!" The leader yelled as the changelings fired at The Rider as he laughed as the bullets either bounced off or went threw him."What is he?"

"You know who I am." The rider said as the leader tried to fire again but to only discover that his gun was empty as the Rider swung his chain and hit one the changelings, turning him into ash as it screamed in pain. "Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you." The Rider said as he hit the another changeling, leaving only the leader."I'll just make you feel the pain of the innocents."

"I'm sorry." The leader said as he began to cry. "I'll give you anything, money, power?" The leader said as The Rider grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "There must be something you want?"

"Your soul." The Rider said as he The leader closed eyes and began sobbing. "Look into my eyes."The rider said as The leaders eyes slowly opened. "Your soul is stained by the blood of the innocent, Feel their pain." The Rider said as the leader began screaming as flames filled his eyes as visions of crimes he has done in the past filled his vision. "Enjoy your suffering." The rider said as the leaders eyes turned into black orbs, The Rider dropped him and started walking back towards his bike.

---Canterlot cemetery 6:46 am--

"That was fun." The Rider said as the sun began to rise. "I guess....he...wants...out." The Rider as he came to a stop and fell off his bike. "Your...turn." The Rider said as the flames died down and the rider began roaring as skin started to reappear and the roaring started to turn into screams of pain as the the rider turned back into blizzard wind, before passing out.

"What do we have here?" A voice with a southern accent said walking over to blizzard. "Hey." The person said before poking Blizzard with his boot. "Guess I have to drag you."

---A few hours later, first person---

"Ow...my head." I said as I woke up. "Need...water." I said as I looked over, I noticed cups of water. "Thanks." I said as sat up and quickly drank the water.

Wasn't me. The rider said as I swung my feet out of the bed I was in. It was that guy. The rider said as I noticed a man with a cowboy hat, holding a shovel, standing in the doorway of the room I was in. Something familiar about him.

"Morning bonehead." The man said as I stood up and stretched. "How are you feeling?"

"Like my skull is on fire." I said rubbing my head as the man chuckled. "But other then that, I'm fine."

"Good to here." The man said as we walked through the cemetery. "It does."

"What?" I asked as the man set his the shovel down. "What are you talking about?"

"If you're wondering if your bike looks normal, it does."The man said leaning against one of the trees. "I suppose you'll be on your way."

"Who are you?" I asked as the man looked at me.

"Who are you?" The man repeated pointing at me as I rolled my eyes and walked back to my bike. "Your The Ghost Rider." The man said as I stopped and The Rider cackled.

I know who that is. The Rider said in between laughs. You'll never guess.

"Just who are you?" I asked, the man stared at me." I'm Blizzard wind."

"Carter Slade." The man said tipping his hat as I looked at him shocked. "You heard of me?"

"Your the phantom rider, the one who out ran the devil." I said as Carter smiled. "It's an honor."

"Why'd you do it?" Carter said as I smile disappeared." Why'd you make the deal?"

"I was young and stupid." I said shrugging. "I did it so my mother wouldn't die."

"What did you get in return?" Carter asked.

"Heartache." I said sadly was I walked towards my bike. "Thanks for the water."

"Your welcome." Carter said as I started my bike and drove off.

Comments

[Matthew Malysza]

awesome!

[Tunefulsubset72]

7928873 ya like?

[oreos]

Aww man what a good game!!

*Looks at chapter*

SHIT

Ehhh, hold on...

*Starts typing*

[Tunefulsubset72]

7931134

*Waits*

[Saiyan of the North Star]

7933258 KO awesome story, hope to see more awesomeness like the Ghost Rider kicking more demonic butts and maybe some sex scenes along the way. It's gonna be epic!

[Dark Nightshade]

Can't wait for the next chapter!

[Tunefulsubset72]

7935081 midnight belongs to a friend of mine

[The Bricklayer]

Hmm, what I would have done with Carter Slade here is not reveal his identity as the Phantom Rider from the start and build it up as a mystery until a later chapter when Blizzard and his "Companion" finally figure it out and perhaps a team up with Carter going on one last ride.

[Royal7]

"You know who I am." The rider said as the leader tried to fire again but to only discover that his gun was empty as the Rider swung his chain and hit one the changelings, turning him into ash as it screamed in pain. "

one of the

[Marcthelightspark2004]

Carter already? Other than that funny and epic chapter.

[zerofireking13]

Needs work.

"Good to here." The man said as we walked through the cemetery.

hear

"Your the phantom rider, the one who out ran the devil." I said as Carter smiled. "It's an honor."

You're outran

"Your welcome." Carter said as I started my bike and drove off.

You're

Also, you can use commas to make sure you can get the whole thing that the character wants to say in one sentence. Like in this,

"Your the phantom rider, the one who out ran the devil." I said as Carter smiled. "It's an honor.

You could have said.

"You're the Phantom Rider, the man who outran the devil. It's an honor." I stated while Carter just smiled.

A thesaurus is your friend.

[Kitsune_Kenshi]

You got that line from the movie