Bonus Chapter118 words

Log 4033: PFSHDOR (Or, Pink Fluffy Smurf-Horse Dancing on Rainbows)

So, after constant abuse of my new nickname "Smurf Horse", by the children here, I finally decided to dye my hair. The color I had decided on was a brownish-red hue, and at the least it would get rid of that horrible nickname.

Too bad that hair dye for humans doesn't work the same way on me. The pink mane tells it all. On top of that, when I finally got my own name lapel to pin to my vest, I realized that, being issued by people who wanted only the best for the children, decided to write my name on the lapel as "PFSH", or "Pink fluffy smurf-horse".

I really wish that I could just buck them in the face. Or maybe roundhouse kick them. I heard that this Chuck Norris guy does that to a lot of people. Same goes for Bruce Lee.

But yeah, I'm now supposedly "Miss PFSH". Why can't they get it right just once? I mean, it wouldn't take that long for the kids here to memorize a name! In fact, wouldn't the nickname be harder for them to recognise due to it's length?!

By logic, yes. It would indeed be far more difficult to memorize a string of words than a single one.

You again! You're smart, right? Do you think you could get into the hospital's database and change my name back?

Um... don't you have the ability to do that? I've read through your previous logs in my spare time, and you seem to be a smart cookie.

But I'm not a cookie, and those were just coincidences!

Yeah... about that mainframe that you deleted images on.

Well, okay. BUT THAT WAS ONE TIME.

Yes, but wouldn't you still be in possession of the skills required to do it again?

Huh. Good point.

Judging by the lack of gibberish I take that you've hidden this tablet of yours in yet another location?

Yup.

Talk later?

Sure.

Geez, I seem to be getting pretty good at typing these from far away. Just a couple of days ago I had to be in the same room, standing right next to the hiding place. But now, I can continue typing from the other side of the hall! (Though to be clear, the specific hall I'm talking about has only two rooms in it, and both are bathrooms. Don't ask.)

Now, as for the resident hospital mainframe. Granted that I'm officially a staff member, I have full access to the system with read-write permissions. So I already know that this'll be far easier than guessing passwords every night for a month. The only problem is that I only have write access to patient files, while everything on the topic of staff members including myself were limited to read-only.

So it's essentially a matter of figuring my way around the encryption.

Though I still have the very annoying problem of being called "Pink Fluffy Smurf-Horse".

And also, obviously I'm writing this from my memory of today, since I couldn't possibly use the tablet as I snooped. That, and the fact that if I did bring it with me earlier, it'd be covered in paint.

'Cause apparently, some more of those upper management doofuses decided that it was a nice day to paint some of the hallways.

I'll just say that along with my current nickname I now also have "Dancing on Rainbows" tacked onto the end by the kids I meet.

So according to them, I'm the PFSHDOR.

Great. Just great. I'm already hooves-deep in trying to get rid of the "PFSH" part.

And my hair smells like strawberries again. Can't I at least have access to something I can mess with? I mean, yeah, it's a hospital and all, but there's got to be some sort of break room or lounge or something. Or do hospitals not work like that? I don't know.

Hey, I'm back. What's up?

Not much. Why'd you leave earlier?

My right hand froze up and my left hand attacked my face.

Geez. Sorry for asking. Isn't this a mental hospital though?

Well, technically yes, but they also treat patients with motor control problems like me.

I thought that you said you go into a vegetative state.

Oh, I do. But that's relatively rare. My biggest problem is that sometimes my body acts without any sort of instruction from my brain.

That doesn't sound fun. What's the treatment?

There's not really any single way to treat it, so I just live it out. I've gotten used to it anyways. I'll chat tomorrow.

Well then. So the closest thing that I have to a diary is also some kid's chatroom. Great.

Author's Note:

Pink Fluffy Smurf Horse Dancing On Rainbows!