Lab Horse

by TheMajorTechie

Log 4041: Journey to Delmar's... place

Welp. I'm back in Hagen's bus again, and this time I'm heading to Delmar's new lab! Dr. Hagen told me that he wouldn't be able to help all too much with me going back to this "Equestria" place, but I'm sure that Delmar would be able to. After all, he is the kind of guy who's pretty much a master at everything.

Not to mention the fact that he was the first one to get to know me. (Though I do remember being tazed. Definitely not a good feeling.)

But yeah, after I was taken into the lab, Delmar realized that I had a human-level intelligence, and by moral standards, it'd be horrific to use me as a test subject of any sort. So instead, I became the primary lab assistant/helper/pony who's acting adorable in the lab.

Eventually, he also got tired of making daily logs for me, so he just handed the entire log database to me on a tablet. My tablet.

So... yeah, pretty good time in general up until the craziness that occurred.

I just realized that I still don't know when my real birthday is.

I should probably stop rambling now.

Voice logging disabled.

And I should probably also figure out how to disable the event notifications that are filling up my logs.

Now then. I'm gonna stop spilling the bowels of my mind onto this thing and just enjoy the view. I know that it's gonna be another long ride.

---

Trees. Trees. Desert. Mountains. Lake. More desert. Small farming towns. Geez, it's taking a freakin' long time to get to wherever Delmar works now.

Though, it kinda makes sense that it's taking this long, considering how we're traveling across the country. Based on what I'm seeing, we're passing through the midwest right now, in the eastbound direction.

I'm starting to wonder if Delmar works at MIT or something based on the time Hagen's been driving. We probably should've taken an airplane, if you ask me.

Oh yeah. Hagen doesn't have any private aircraft.

Huh. I probably should get something to eat now.

"Doctor Hagen?" I called out from behind the seats, "Are there any snacks?"

Hagen shook his head, pointing at a road sign ahead of us. "You ate the last pile of granola bars and crackers an hour ago. We'll stop for some food at the next exit."

Next exit. Public place. Huh.

"Should I try out my illusions?"

Surprised at what I just said, Hagen quickly replied, "Illusions? Like as in, make something look like something else kind of illusions?"

I nodded, making sure Hagen could see from the dash mirror.

And yes, I've actually been picking up new abilities based on what I see in both the show and fan-works. (I'm staying faaaar away from those "mature spells" category.)

"Sure, why not?" the doctor answered.

Yup. Lemme just switch to my thought-control.

Neuropathic link established.

Okay, so I gotta concentrate. Balance on two legs, got it. Cast spell, check.

I felt a brief chill run over me as my own eyes adjusted to the sudden flash of light wash past. In place of the teal fur and springy pinkish-blonde hair was a light tan skin, covered by a green-blue blouse.

As long as I don't trip too much, I'll look like Hagen's daughter. Heh.

Hagen stopped the bus, and turned to face me.

"Woah!" He joked, "Did I pick up a hitchhiker back there or something?!"

I smiled, and stumbled through the rows of seats.

Wait a sec, just realized that I could probably add a bit of maneuverability to my upright legs with a bit of levitation.

There. Now I can walk "normally".

Aaaand I just realized that I'm probably trashing up the log with these short bursts of thought.

So there. Don't mind me, the totally actually a human girl walking out of the bus behind her supposed father, on her way to grab a hot dog or something because she's hungry. And quite possibly use the restroom as well.

As I followed Dr. Hagen into the rest stop, I immediately saw the line of sandwiches lining the open fridge lining the wall. I instinctively ran straight towards the food, and lit my supposedly nonexistant horn. And then I realized that I'd have to make it look like I was picking it up with my "hand".

As long as I hold the food in the perfect position, it'll also look like I'm just holding it with my "hands", too. It's all a matter of precision levitation.

Okay, so this feels really weird. I can physically feel the sandwich on my hoof, but at the same time I'm holding an illusion "spell" and levitating said sandwich at the same time. I'm just gonna be calm and hope that I don't drop the sandwich or either of the spells.

...

...

Aaaand I can feel the levitation failing. Either I pull more energy from the illusion, or I take away my balance from my legs. I don't wanna drop the sandwich either, so... uh...

Whoop. The levitation apparently dropped while I was thinking. But somehow, the sandwich is still in the same position. Wat.

Like, I can feel it there, as if I had fingers gripping it or something. I don't have hands, but it still feels like I'm holding the sandwich with them.

MY MIND IS FREAKING OUT OVER THIS. WHAT THE HECK'S GOING ON WITH MY NONEXISTING HANDS?!

Okay, okay, calm down. Just ignore the fact that I'm using nonexistant hands as real hands, and continue casually waiting for Hagen to finish paying.

My eyes wandered over to the restrooms, reminding me that I drank two bottles of water earlier when we were passing through the desert area.

"Um... dad?" I asked in a definitely-not-awkward way, "I need to go to the bathroom..."

Hagen sarcastically rolled his eyes, playing the part of annoyed parent quite well.

"Hurry up then. We've still got two hours!"

I dropped the sandwich on the counter, and rushed to the restrooms.

Now that I think about it, how was I able to drop the sandwich just like that? It was firmly stuck in my hooves, and no amount of shaking could release it as long as I wanted to continue holding it. And the moment I wanted to let go of it, it just... drops.

Once again, what.

It feels so weird to use the toilet in this illusion. It mimics the tangible feeling of what it's pretending to be, so it feels like I'm actually washing my hands after using the toilet, when I'm pretty much trying to start a fire with my wet hooves.

I should probably stop thinking about everything I'm doing in the bathroom.

And so, I finished washing my "hands" without another thought, and strolled back out. Hagen had already finished paying, and was back in the bus.

I stepped into the bus, and immediately dropped every spell as I collapsed in a heap.

"Tired?" The doctor asked from the front as he started the engine.

I nodded, taking a bite from the sandwich. Of course it's egg-salad.

---

I don't remember ever falling asleep, but when I woke up, the sun was already set, and we were in another city.

Author's Note:

Don't mind Gadget's freakout over her discovery of "sticky hooves".

But seriously, some things should be impossibly for ponies to hold without hands, and yet they still do.

Also, long chapter!

Comments

[bonberjean]

All ponies have a small telekinetic field around their hooves, just like an unicorn horn, but only for gripping things

[TheMajorTechie]

7872750 That's pretty much exactly what I was thinking when I wrote the chapter.

[TheMajorTechie]

7872750 Also, tell Gadget that before she freaks out again.

[lunarderpy1]

7872767 no!!! its fun when she freaks out!!!!

[TheMajorTechie]

7872811 She has been already!

[bonberjean]

7872767 Even if I use my sense (don't have a name yet, but I have one), it only works for immediate things and others that require a roll to the dice

[TheMajorTechie]

7872904 Yup.

[lunarderpy1]

7872815 more freak out-ness

[TheMajorTechie]

7872935 Yupperdoodles.

[Caldoric]

7873017

You describe this as a "long" chapter, (which it probably is, for you,) and yet... it's shorter than any of my "short" chapters... amazing (and amusing) how relativistic everything is.

Doesn't make it any less good, however. Great story, great character development, the works. And the length is good too, considering that it's designed to be a journal entry. Keep up the good work!

[TheMajorTechie]

7874576

[Caldoric]

7875015

*Caldoric looks up to see Pinkie has popped up in front of him with her trademark giant grin*

"Shit!" Says Caldoric, as he jerks back in his chair so violently, it falls over, and he uses the motion to try and escape, but to no avail: when he looks to the door...

SHE IS ALREADY THERE.

[TheMajorTechie]

7875614

[RMWarPony]

pony hoof grip explained

[Viper Pit]

8044392
so pony hoofs are made out of ballones and coffee grounds who knew