Sombra marched toward the Crystal Empire gates with a look of sheer determination. Stopping before the wall, he shot his head up, trademark scowl set in place.
“I want to speak with Shining Armor!” he barked out. “Right this instant!”
Atop the wall, a purple mare poked her head out. She smiled at Sombra politely. “And why exactly do you need to speak with him?”
“He was in one of my dreams last night,” Sombra explained, “doing highly questionable and inappropriate things to me! So tell him to knock it off and stay the hell out of my dreams! And if I dare hear that Luna was somehow involved…”
The purple mare shook her head. “Sorry, Sombra, but Shining’s already left the Empire.”
Sombra paused, furrowing his brows. “Shining… left? But why? He’s supposed to be protecting the Crystal Empire! Protecting it against the likes of me!”
“Well, about that…” the purple mare said with a grimace. “How do I put this gently? You sort of broke his brain in two and everyone thought he deserved a much needed rest. Or ‘stress leave’, if you want to get technical about it. At the moment, he’s at our parents’ house back in Canterlot. And seeing a highly trained therapist three times a week.”
There was almost a whine to Sombra’s voice. “But… but he’ll be back, right? Eventually? I’m not nearly done annoying him yet!”
The mare shrugged. “Hard to say. But in the meantime, Shining left the ‘dealing of you’ to me and my friends. They all came along with me from Ponyville.” Again, she smiled daintily. “You actually might remember me. I’m Twilight Sparkle, Shining Armor’s younger sister.”
Sombra scanned all of his thoughts and memories in search of that name. It took him roughly eight seconds to search his entire brain. He came up with nothing.
“Sorry,” he said, “but I have absolutely no idea who you are.”
Twilight raised a brow. “Really? I did technically battle with you when you tried to reclaim the Crystal Empire three years ago.”
Sombra shook his head. “I never tried reclaiming my Empire. This is still my first attempt.”
“Well, I know that’s just not true. Don’t you remember that crazy battle we all had here? Back when you were just a giant smoke cloud—”
“Wrong!”
“And you infected Shining’s horn—”
“Incorrect!”
“And later Princess Cadence was thrown at the Crystal Heart—”
“Alternative facts!”
Rolling her eyes, Twilight asked, “So we’re just not gonna talk about your defeat? You’re just gonna deny the whole thing ever happened?”
“Quite correct, smaller Shining,” Sombra answered with a nod. “Now… if you are the only thing blocking me from reentering my precious Empire, then that makes you my enemy. So hear this, enemy: let me back inside my Empire right this instant!”
Sombra’s loud roar echoed across the land, but it didn’t seem to faze Twilight in the least.
She pointed a hoof toward a set of doors close to him. “Oh, so you want back inside? Why didn’t you say so earlier?”
One of the doors opened inward. There was nothing but darkness inside.
Sombra snorted. “About damn time!”
Then he took a step toward the door before stopping.
“Hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute. Just what’s behind that door?” he asked.
Twilight smirked. “Your precious Crystal Empire, of course. Or if you want to get more specific… it’s actually a rather simple foyer that leads into the central marketplace. There’re coat racks and weapons racks and stuff like that in there. But not much else.”
Carefully, Sombra angled his head to try and see beyond the open door. Yet all he could glimpse was a vast pit of black. His hooves began quivering in the snow.
He asked tentatively, “Who’s to say there’s not a thousand guards with sharp, pointy spears in there? Waiting to poke and prod me until there’s nothing left?”
“Well,” Twilight said, a tad irritably, “for starters: there’s not. Also, how would we even fit a thousand guards into one room? That room could hardly hold twenty. Thirty if we stacked them.”
“I dunno! Maybe you recruited a bunch of super tiny guards recently. Just to stab me in the knees with!”
“Highly unlikely.”
“But still possible!”
Twilight sighed. “Look. Do you want back inside the Empire or not? Haven’t you been clamoring to get back inside for months now?”
“Yeah…” Sombra admitted meekly. “But I didn’t think it would be so easy, though.”
“Think of it as a ‘Welcome Back Sombra’ party,” Twilight told him helpfully. “Flurry Heart’s even waiting on the other side of that door with a cake. A cake just for you.”
“Now I know you’re lying, purple Shining!” Sombra spat back. “There’s probably nothing behind that door! Just a pit that goes on for miles and miles that I’ll fall into! And years later, late at night, ponies will still be talking about my death! They’ll say, ‘Sombra screamed for hours and hours before hitting the bottom’. And some will even say, ‘Sombra fell to his death with no welcome cake at all!’”
Twilight’s pupils shrunk. “Oh, my Celestia. Now I see why Shining needed that stress leave so bad.”
Sombra held a hard hoof up to Twilight. “You’re not fooling anyone today, Shining Sparkle! I is too smart to be played like some less than smart pony!” He glanced at the open door again, whining like some injured dog. “Unless… this really is an invitation back inside the Empire…”
“It is,” Twilight said bluntly. “Nowhere in the budget could we afford a bottomless pit.”
“Then maybe it’s only a six-foot pit!” Sombra exclaimed. “Now I see what you’re up to! I’ll go through that door, break a leg, and become trapped! Then you’ll fill the hole up with cement! Or worse… day old coffee and bagels from the bagel shop!”
Up on the wall, Twilight held both hooves to her temples, blinking rapidly. “Oh, wow. This stupidity is strong. Fascinating, but strong.”
Sombra’s body swayed between the open door and back toward the woods. He danced on the spot as if he had to use the bathroom rather badly. “You know what? I think my bar might be on fire. Back in a bit!”
And with that said, he retreated as fast as his cowardly legs could carry him.
***
Twilight Sparkle nudged open the door that Sombra wouldn’t dare enter, crossing the foyer and sitting down at a table. She patted Flurry Heart’s head.
“Sorry, sweetie,” she told her softly, “but Sombra didn’t feel like coming by today.”
On the table next to Flurry Heart was a cake; written on it was “WELCOME BACK SOMBRA!” Flurry Heart had icing all across her muzzle, as she’d been busy eating it.
“Som-Som?” she gurgled out. She held up two hooves covered in cake.
Again, Twilight ruffled Flurry Heart’s mane. “Maybe one of my friends will have a better time with Sombra.”
I was expecting her to have hauled out that nightmare door he kept in his old castle and replaced the front gate with it. Well played, though. Poor Sombra. He's made himself too paranoid to ever set foot in his empire ever again.
I'd like to see Rainbow Dash try to goad him into some really ridiculous contest to win entry, though. That would be fun.
Was... was Twilight really gonna let Sombra back in? With Flurry Heart too?!
Derpy. She becomes Sombra's accomplice after being bribed with a huge muffin.
Woah.
I wonder what Fluttershy has to say with Discord aiding Sombra...
8004859
All he did was aid a private individual to reclaim funds that were acquired using his name, image, and mental property without his permission, and then built a fun park for said individual. Where is the hoof that she can stand on? Besides, I bet Discord took Fluttershy to the fun park as his guest, with unlimited rides and no queues!
8004859
Are you kidding? She probably suggested the party to apologize to the poor king for being kicked out.
I'm gonna be honest - this is becoming very hard for me to enjoy, as it seems less about Sombra getting in the Empire now and more about how much physical and psychological trauma that can be inflicted on Shining Armor. Slapstick only goes so far before it becomes waterboarding.
I truly would not blame Shining Armor at this point if he just said 'fuck it all,' divorced Cadance, and left all of them to go live with Chrysalis.
Sombra wants to get his crystals all over Shining's long, beautiful horn again.
I think Braeburn should be featured, after the return of Shining. They could both annoy tha shit outta him!
poor flurry
Now, how would Shining take the fact that his sister tried and failed to invite Sombra in I wonder?
You're talking to a guy who once conjured an entire pocket-dimension of nothing but stairs:
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/7/76/Crystal_Tower_S3E2.png/revision/latest?cb=20121121144606
Granted, his... issues... are currently keeping him from actually recalling such godlike feats.
Maud (studying crystals) and/or Ember (visiting Spike), maybe?
Count me in as one of those glad to see Shining get a break.
Perhaps Sombra should get to know the entire Pie clan -- or at least the Pie sisters. I'd love to see him deal with Pinkie's -- Pinkieness, Maud's broad range of emotions, Marble's loquaciousness and Limestone's friendly, warm, welcoming personality.
I would like to see Discord.
Yes. I know he was in an earlier chapter as a lawyer.
No. I do not care.
I want to see him welcome Sombra in.
And I want to see Sombra do something stupid.
And I want Discord to feed that stupidity.
And let's face it, it's something he would do.
Gabby Griffon. Delivers some overdue mail. Also makes Sombra sick with endless cheer and helpfulness.
One day Sombra will get back inside the Crystal Empire. And that will be the day Shining Armor knows that he should've let Sombra in when he first asked.
So she blatantly recalls defeating him...and is okay with letting him back in? Dayum girl, better keep your arrogance in check.
Steve and a couch I swear to god please
I wonder what would be Rarity's reaction to Red Baron (the blanket-slash-tent-slash-cape that Sombra used in the first chapter )
I can see sombre having his own break down if fluttershy attempts anything.
sunset shimmer visits and meets this iteration of sombra.
8005458 in her defence, could anyone really stop her.
More-over is there anyone who couldn't stop Sombra. (with the exception of Shining)
Vinyl Scratch. Wubs.
That is all.
Oh this is gon be fun
Can you please fit in Zephyr Breeze if it's at all possible?
Hahahaha, wow... wow, I feel bad for Flurry
I... have a rather funny idea...
Like, Rainbow Dash and Pinks play a prank on Sombra, and they somehow get Chrysalis to come to the Empire. (Let's work on the assumption they're friends or something) And they prank Sombra by saying they let her in to take over and she's actually a far better ruler then he would have been I feel like that would lead to something funny.
Good show!
oh no, the mane six-or-seven are involved now...
You have to do a papers please bit keep sending sombra back because minor errors in paper work. Glory to the crystal empire
Trixie annoying the shiz out of Sombra. Bit of giving him even if he denies it and outside perspective on his behavior
Pinkie and Dash enlist the help of Thorax for a prank. Thorax disguises himself as Sombra, and the three of them (accidentally) gaslight Sombra.
Question for The King Sombra the Dark. What do you remember of waking world before you walked up to the Chrystal Empire gates first time in these months?
What is your last memory of what you did in Chrystal Empire?
Could you share this information with those who were appointed by Shining Armor to talk to you?
not part of questioning: I suspect something here is wrong. This might be not the Sombra that enslaved the Empire. Nightmare Moon scenario.
Spike and Sombro. They'll grow to be bros, icy hearts melt from bromance, climaxing with Spike singing a song...
And then they both get thrown out, living it out in the snow/bar/cinema/theme park.
I wanna see Sombra's encounter with Trollestia
Rarity is horrified by Sombra's hobo look and gives him a huge makeover, because if he's going to be a king he has to LOOK like a king! Then they both forget why they were doing it to begin with and Sombra ends up locked out again.
Alternatively, Starlight Glimmer accidentally takes over the empire.
New chapter: using dimensional portals! (Guest starring, Sunset Glimmer... or was it Starlight Shimmer?)
Using hamsters!
Using friendship!
Using fan fiction!
I could go on...
I personally like this new turn of events! I wonder what Shining would say about this, tho...
Hoping for a Fluttershy chapter. Maybe drunk fluttershy? Dunno.
Also, hello! First time commenting, but I've been binging story after story of yours after reading Sombra The Highly Unmotivated.
Luna could be funny. It could all be just a dream.
Vinyl with music beats to strong to walk against.
Doctor Hooves, about to get welcomed in, Doc grabs him to help with saving the world, but something they do causes shining to forget why he was going to let him in.
Just some thoughts. This one was pretty good.
8010225 Glad you're enjoying some of my stuff! Yep. Unmotivated Sombra is still my fav.
derpy please
a better time
Typo aside, good chapter. I like the idea of suddenly making it so easy to get in Sombra becomes suspicious, whether or not that was Twilight's intent.
I doubt it would be picked up, but one of his original crystal ponies would be fun to see, I think.
Som-Bar needs Luna as a stripper! With Cadance drunk putting bits in her oddly placed thong!
This calls for some Luna-see. That's where Luna crafts a carefully set-up dream, to see what reaction the recipient has.
"Are you observing, Shining Armor?"
"Yes, Princess. Please begin the dream at your convenience."
"Okay, Sombra is following you into the Empire; looking around. He sees something, he looks happy, and runs to a shop to-"
"I saw that, but I don't believe it."
"Now he's carrying a folded paper bag, walking back out of the Empire and to his office behind his bar."
"Junk food!?"
"Yes. Yes it is."
id love to see Celestia or Luna show up. perhaps even an attempt by the bug Queen
Please tell me a Sombra and Flurry ship exist xD
Maybe Thorax could have a go at Sombra!
Tracking.
Lmao these comments
And the story I can't even breath
(Even tho already said)
Pinkie and maud , ohh discord , and Chrissy
Well if the girls are involved now, why not just sic Pinkie on him?
I'm surprised you didn't make the Sombrero joke already. He's trying to go trough a wall, after all.
USING TACOS/SOMBREROS/BIGOTES/FAJITAS/MARACAS chapter!