Two thirty in the afternoon, soon to be three o’clock. Esmeralda was now well rested, more so than her father, who was starting to show signs of exhaustion. Lunch was finished. Miss Oddbody had to meet Twilight Velvet at three, and Copperquick had to be in class by four. The day, which had already been a long one, was starting to feel short on time.
“I’m glad you joined us, both of you,” Sapphire Shores said in a smoky, sultry voice. She took a moment to look at Miss Oddbody, studying her, and her eyes narrowed, but not in a seductive way. “Miss Oddbody… I hope that you get what you want. You deserve it.”
The pegasus, who looked a little more refreshed and had a fresh mane bun, nodded and blushed a bit. “Thank you, Miss Shores.”
“As for you,” Sapphire Shores began as she addressed Copperquick, “I hope you get what you need. If you need anything, anything at all, you come here and you talk to my devoted and hunky bodyguard, Mister Fuzzy Slippers. His parents had a real sense of humour. Imagine growing up on the rough streets of the Broncs with a name like that.” Sapphire Shores tossed back her head and laughed.
“Do you mean that? Anything?” Miss Oddbody tilted her head off to one side.
“Of course I meant it, I wouldn’t have said it, otherwise.” The smile never left Sapphire Shore’s face as she replied. “You have but to ask.”
“Little Miss Verde could use a crib… and foal stuff. But not a big crib, the apartment is too small and space is limited.” Miss Oddbody’s eyes shimmered behind her large square glasses.
“Okay, just give me some contact information.” Sapphire Shores, still smiling, gave Miss Oddbody a nod.
“No, I can’t let you do that.” Copperquick, hesitant, stepped forwards.
“Copperquick, I like you. So I am gonna give you some advice. Free advice, but damn good advice nonetheless. And you, my handsome baby daddy, are going to shuddup and listen.” Sapphire Shores got right up in Copperquick’s face, and when he did not respond, she continued, “There be two kinds of daddies in this world, Copper. The first kind is the worst sort. Oh, he means well, and he loves his filly or his colt, and he has the best of intentions. But he be proud. He be too damn proud, and because of this pride, he won’t bend his proud neck, and his foal goes to bed hungry, or does without, and he won’t take no damn help because of his pride.”
A single tear rolled down Copperquick’s cheek.
“Now, the second kind of daddy, he swallows his pride. He bends his proud neck and he does what is right for his daughter, no matter what it do to him. He takes whatever help he can get, with the knowledge that when his life gets better, he can pay it forward, and he can do what be right.” Sapphire Shores lifted up her head and stretched her long, graceful neck until her muzzle was inches away from Copperquick’s ear, and in a breathy voice, she kept going. “These are the best daddies, ‘cause they teach a girl humility… that’s where I learned my humility, see, from my daddy. He bent his proud neck and he did right by me. Now, I got me a chance to pay it forward. And right about now, this second daddy, he says a sweet little somethin’ something’ to the nice mare trying to help him.”
“T-thank you, M-Miss Shores,” Copperquick said as he struggled to hold back tears. With a shuddering sigh, he bent his neck and repeated himself, this time without stuttering hesitation. “Thank you, Miss Shores. Really. For everything. You’ve been kind to me when I needed it most.”
“You’ll have something nice for her to sleep in later this afternoon. I’ll have some of my stagehooves bring it by. Copperquick… it gonna be fugly-ugly for you, I won’t lie, but you ain’t alone. You come by and you see me if things get too bad. I’ll be in touch, Copperquick.”
“Thank you, Miss Shores,” Miss Oddbody said in a pleased, perky voice.
“Both you kids is gonna make me mess up my mascara! Now get outta here!” Sapphire Shores took a step backwards from Copperquick, then at the last moment, she planted a kiss on Esmeralda. “Damn, girl, you lucked out.”
“Just a second, let me get you the contact information, and then we’ll be going.” Miss Oddbody slipped a wing into her bag and began to dig around. “As it is, Foal Services would collapse without private donations. Twilight Velvet just forcibly took over in a bureaucratic coup détat. I was there… it was awful… I was there in the bowels of that horrible building when the papers hit the shredder…” A somewhat vacant looking thousand yard stare took over Miss Oddbody’s face.
“Farmgirl, speak to me, you okay?” Sapphire Shores said, looking worried about the professional, perky pegasus.
“Much ink was spilled that day… the halls ran black and red with it… the screaming… I was there when Mrs. Velvet recited the ancient bylaws and challenged the current head of the ministry to a duel. She thrashed him soundly and the battle spilled out into the streets… the princesses showed up, but nopony interfered. The bylaws had to be followed. The princesses kept the damage to the city of Canterlot to a minimum as the duel progressed. Mrs. Velvet did battle, all while reciting codes, laws, regulations, and creed. She smote Director Crewel Pinch and left him a bloody heap in the intersection. She accepted his resignation after he crawled to her and begged for mercy.”
Waving a hoof in front of Miss Oddbody’s eyes, Sapphire Shore’s lip curled back in concern. “Farmgirl, wake up, I think you is having some kinda flashback!”
With a snort, Miss Oddbody reacted. “What? Who? What’s going on!”
“You was about to give me some contact info,” Sapphire Shores said in a gentle voice with no trace of mirth.
“Oh, right, let me get that…”
Needing a bit of a breather, feeling far more tired than usual, Copperquick took a bit of a break in front of a bakery with sun cookies. Miss Oddbody was acting odd and he wondered if the stress was getting to her. She seemed withdrawn and out of sorts as they walked along through the streets together. Maybe she hadn’t had enough tea.
Glancing into the window, he saw loaves of bread, rolls, tea biscuits, digestives, rolls, and buns of all kind. It was hard to enjoy looking at them as he was worried about Miss Oddbody. He wasn’t even sure how to bring the subject up. His previous encounters with mares had all been practical ones—getting his itch scratched.
“Miss Oddbody…”
“Yes?”
“I couldn’t help but notice the brass plate over the cornerstone. What was that building before it became Foal Services?” As he spoke, Copperquick saw Miss Oddbody’s feathers fluff out. She was, in fact, cute, in a sexy librarian sort of way, with her sense of granny fashion.
“Oh.” Miss Oddbody stared up at Copperquick with a blank stare. “It was horrible. It used to be Foal Labour Services.”
“Huh?” Copperquick listened to his daughter burbling as he looked upon the distressed Miss Oddbody.
“If a farmer needed a field worker for the summer, but couldn’t afford to pay for an actual labourer, he could go into Foal Labour Services and pay for a permit that would allow him to go foal shopping in the orphanages and orphanariums. He could go and find himself a sturdy little foal or three, take them back to his farm, work them and discipline them within regulations that were never enforced or followed, and after the harvest, return them to where he obtained them.”
“What?!”
“I know, it’s awful, right?” Miss Oddbody squirmed. “We should be going. It’s almost three and you have classes that start at four.” The pegasus swallowed. “I believe in change, Mister Copperquick, and that is why I am helping you. You don’t know it yet, but you, you are our frontline fighter in Mrs. Velvet’s planned coup détat. She plans to absorb part of the treasury for more direct control.”
“I see.”
“She was just waiting for the right set of circumstances to come along.”
“Well, I’m in this fight, Miss Oddbody. I’ll throw my back into it.”
“We should get going, Mister Copperquick.”
Standing on the ramp that led up to the doors was a mare in a coat and a battered, ancient fedora. Copperquick recognised her right away, and upon seeing her, he had a profound new respect for her. She was tough, she was fearless, and she had raised both a prince and a princess. After such a feat, the mare could be just resting on her laurels, but no, she had a hobby. She had drive, and purpose.
Beside Mrs. Velvet, there was an earth pony wearing a terrible, tacky looking tropical shirt and who was also wearing a fedora. A donkey mare completed the group and the trio were talking as Copperquick approached. He slowed down, unsure if he was intruding on something private.
“Yammy, don’t let me down.”
“Of course, Mrs. Velvet.”
“I need that evidence. I know for certain that the Labour Services division is seeking to overthrow me. I just need proof so I can launch a preemptive strike. We can’t let things go back to how they were, it’s appalling.”
“We can do this,” the donkey mare said. “Trust me, we burros are invisible. We’re just another janitor to be bossed around.”
“Go, both of you. The society is counting on you. Remember to keep a stiff upper lip, my friends.”
Copperquick watched the earth pony and the donkey go. He heard Mrs. Velvet sighing, and Miss Oddbody hurried over to Twilight Velvet’s side. Copperquick began to cotton on that something big was going on, something real big and important. Somehow, he had stumbled into the middle of something that he had trouble comprehending.
“We need a birth certificate, vaccination records, and a tribal registry,” Miss Oddbody reported.
“I can help with those,” Mrs. Velvet replied. “I’ll make those happen. You shall have them tomorrow, perhaps by noon. Maybe. Somepony owes me a favour and he doesn’t want any embarrassing secrets revealed. Yam Spade is very, very good at what he does. I wish I had a hundred of him. That pony has a knack for skulduggery.”
“The filly was named by friends of the mother, and they call her Esmeralda Verde. Copperquick has decided to keep the name.” Miss Oddbody smiled and some of her perkiness returned.
“Ah, good, I approve of ponies with burro names. Cultural diversity is good. I am pleased.”
Hearing these words, Miss Oddbody beamed. “We got a whole lotta nothing at the dole office today. But we had a very nice meeting with Sapphire Shores, who is going to help out a bit. How much remains to be seen. The mother, Cielo del Este, worked for Miss Shores as a dancer. She’s gone now, she fled to Las Pegasus. Little Miss Verde has friends at Boardwalk Studios. Miss Shores had promised to secure some basic supplies and a crib of some sort.”
“Ah yes, Miss Shores.” Twilight Velvet seemed quite pleased. “I have always been fond of that song she did where she praises her father for all the hard work he did. It makes sense that she would be an ally. Hmm, I shall have to go to her and remind her about keeping a stiff upper lip. She might be able to get some mutual friends interested in helping us.”
All of Miss Oddbody twitched at Velvet’s words. “Celestial Glory is how I keep my upper lip nice and stiff… I’m feeling a little run down. I really need my tea. I’m beat.” After a moment, the peppy, perky pegasus added, “You know, Mrs. Velvet, Mister Copperquick might be interested in learning how to keep his upper lip nice and stiff.”
“You don’t say…” Twilight Velvet stepped away from Miss Oddbody and walked over to where Copperquick stood. Saying nothing, she walked around him, examining him. “A bowler hat… very, very interesting. You look like you could have a very stiff and starchy upper lip.”
“I don’t follow,” Copperquick replied.
“Not to worry.” Twilight Velvet’s lips pursed into a tight, crinkled line. “Miss Oddbody, keep applying for assistance in the short term. See if you can apply for food assistance through the Ministry of Agricultural Surplus.”
“Yeah… that place… where the process to claim food is so long that it rots before a pony can get it. I’ll get right on that, Mrs. Velvet.”
“In the long term, I am going to gather lawyers willing to take on a tough case.” Mrs. Velvet looked as though she had been eating lemons.
“Lawyers?” Copperquick felt a twinge of panic. “Why are lawyers needed?”
“Mister Copperquick, it is my intention to petition to have Cielo del Este pay foal support. She’s a dancer with what sounds like good earning potential. It will be the first trial of its kind, and no doubt, it will be a disaster that will ruin the careers of all who are involved in it… or possibly elevate them into the stratosphere.” Twilight Velvet peered up at Copperquick from beneath the brim of her fedora and she still looked a little sour.
His breath caught in his throat, Copperquick thought about what Sapphire Shores had said about there being two types of daddies. For a moment, pride almost made him protest, but then he thought of his daughter. And not just his daughter, but little daughters and sons everywhere. It was then he realised, for there to be change, somepony had to be brave and go first.
“Whatever is needed of me, I’ll do.” As he spoke, he felt a most peculiar sense of relief.
“Do as I ask, when I ask, and I will see that you and your daughter are taken care of, Mister Copperquick. You came to me at just the right time. I have plans, as you will soon see, and you are just what I needed. A big strong, stocky earth pony that can bear the brunt of the burden. I am about to pick a fight, Mister Copperquick, and I need like minded allies.”
“Like me!” Miss Oddbody said in the most chipper voice she could muster.
Her sour expression vanishing, Twilight Velvet smiled. “This will be a cry for help that can’t be ignored. It feels like everything's coming together, as though this was meant to be. Go on, Mister Copperquick, you need to get to school. You look very tired. Try to make it through your classes. Best of luck… and remember… keep a stiff upper lip.”
“Of course, Mrs. Velvet.”
I like where this is going, that I do.
"Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the bureaucrats of war". Should be this stories tagline
Don't think we have had it alluded previously in any of the other Weedverse stories of Twilight Velvet "having a stiff upper lip" but suppose it makes sense with her many connections.
Ok. A few things.
1:
Thats a story waiting to be told.
2. Something about the setup with Oddbody, Velvet, and Copper reminds me abit of another story for some reason. Something about 'A Earth pony to shoulder my burdens, a Pegasus to watch over me, and a Unicorn to light my way'. Dont know where its coming from.....but it is.....
7637413
I have no idea what you mean.
I'm calling right now that copper will become the head of a union at some point.
Oddboy's flashback was delightful, had to pause a couple times for the laughter to die down so I could keep reading.
Amazing what a Google search for "stiff upper lip society" turns up. Nice to see Azure and Yam again.
7637564
In this case, it comes out of Venenum Iocus and other Weedverse stories. It is a secret society where Celestia tries to nurture the best and brightest, so that all of society might benefit.
Rules and regulations the only way to really fight Bearcaracy
7637750
Those aren't my views. Sorry. It's dirty pool to accuse a writer of such things.
I based the political environment on Thatcherism and British Conservatism.
I'm an American.
A writer is more than the sum of their characters. For shame.
7637750
Honestly, I get so tired of this. It burns me out.
Oh, Kudzu must hate the gays! One of his characters hates the gays!
Oh, Kudzu must hate women! One of his characters is a chauvinist! Why you gotta hate women, Kudzu?
Oh, Kudzu must be a motherfucking JEW! One of his characters is jewish! Stop pushing that jew agenda on us, Kudzu!
Stop being so goddamn gay, Kudzu, we're sick and tired of you pushing the gay agenda in every story! Stop being such a fag!
And on... and on... and on... almost every damn day I get something new, either in the comment section or in my inbox.
I wish people would just shut the fuck up about it and realise that I am more than the characters I create. Goddamn this shit gets old.
Yam too? I want to see what the hell he did to earn that.
7637790 i agree with ya there. That mess with Gosling was just ridiculous. Some people are just really stupid, or just hateful.
7637793 I didn't see the mess from Gosling. Care to elaborate?
I saw the mess from... PTSSFFF over the big mac being sexist thing, that was crazy.
7637818 Gosling and his mom was the Jew issue kudz mentioned. There where people that literally said "They should be gassed." And there was some very vocal hate
7637818
That was my INNER WOMAN HATING ME coming out through Big Mac. Cause I HATE WOMEN. ALL OF THEM! It must be true, it has to be true, because I used Big Mac to voice a controversial point of view that most readers totally misunderstood because their own fucking biases jumped out of their throats. And rather than admit that they might have been wrong and jumped to judgment before knowing what was going on, it was easier to run away screaming that KUDZU HATE WOMAN! WHY MUST KUDZU HATE WOMAN! SMASH! ARGH! Derp.
I really like how you write Twilight Velvet. The way she is protrayed accross your various stories inevitably, to me, makes her a far more interesting character than her offspring. That's not a knock against the way her offspring are portrayed mind you, just the evils she faces and the attitude she keeps towards them are far more relatable and interesting to read.
Twilight S. defeated Tirek! Yay! Equestria is saved! So now, what are you going to do about dysfunctional political and social institutions that you can't magic, library, or rainbow out of existance?
That's why I like your stories so much. The Little Heroes are just as important and sometimes more so than the Big Damn Heroes®.
I might also be biased in enjoying this story, my step-father was a single dad of two before he met my mother a decade ago. Things were not easy for him and SC has -nothing- in place to help single dads. He was lucky he found my mom and things have more or less worked out.
7637846
Invisible heroes. The ones that nobody notices.
Twilight has to save the world from Tirek so that the little heroes can do their jobs in safety. That's how I see it.
7637876
I really dislike the term Invisible Heroes. It is sadly appropriate but it shouldn't be. Social workers, first responders, and the like do not get the recognition they deserve.
It's just a me thing. I detest how our country calls it big news when some athlete or starlet signs some major deal but it isn't even a footnote when a fireman rescues a family of four from a burning building or a child protective services employee recognizes a pattern of abuse and has a child placed in a safe and loving home.
Bah. I'm too wordy right now. The headaches are coming back and it is making me grumpy at the world.
7637898
But you are absolutely right.
The Stiff Upper Lip Society celebrates invisible heroes, among others.
7637837 *boop* In my honest opinion it's sexist to hate all women, but that said, from what you've said about your experiences with women, I can't blame you for holding that opinion.
Not to mention it's pretty sexist that ya should treat a man any different than a woman.
7637825 it's been what? 75 years? They need to get over it.
7638160 who should get over it? It's the haters that where being hateful.
Okay. What next?
7638175 everyone. XD.
I ponder what stops or stopped people from abusing the foal labor system. Especially if no one was making sure the rules were being followed.
The historical systems that did simular were horrible. People swore it would ruin businesses to end them it didn't
Crewel Pinch
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/ed/05/48/ed0548dbb6f42c1575fe88a94536a598.jpg
7638704
Based upon a number of real life ministries that functioned in this capacity, there was no motivation to do anything that might disrupt the cash flow. This was a government agency that generated more money than it required to operate it. It is literally a golden goose. America did this, Brittain did this, lots of places in Europe did this, and it wasn't until child labour laws were passed that the practice stopped.
Mostly. Here in America, in some states, it is still legal for farmers to get temporary adoptions for agricultural purposes.
The practice is called therapeutic foster parenting and the hard work is supposed to set a child straight. Some places are a bit more legit than others, but most just milk the system and use kids as slave labour. It's state sponsored child abuse.
7638835 Indeed I know being a little more polite about it. Right now there is arguement over prison labor but teh same issues still exist
I imagine they had a similar vein of thought as the father of "The Boy Named Sue".
I'm going to sit here and savor that image. Because it is satisfying when comeuppance is delivered.
Hmmmmm. What an intriguing hint about Yam and Azure.
That is so true.
So many quotable lines in this chapter. It would be ridiculous to quote all the ones I wanted to.
For those who don't know, crewel is worsted yarn that is slackly twisted. It's used for embroidery.
Good advice from Sapphire Shores about pride and taking assistance.
Twilight Velvet is truly the mother of Equestria's warrior Princess.
Spoken like a proper earth pony.
7637790
*puts tongue firmly in cheek*
"Kudzu must hate ponies. All his stories are about ponies going through hell."
7637790 A character is but a facet of an author's imagination, a world is a reflection of their dreams, and this faceted shining thing is a treasure all the same, even if one may call for more polish than another. I love some of your stories, and rather hate others, but as a writer I simply can't fault you as anything but over-ambitious (or more aptly, insane) in tackling so many simultaneously.
So for whatever it's worth, well done, and thank you for sharing treasures of shining gems wrought in wire and prose.
7688940 I am some random person, and I approve this comment
This is SUCH an amazing story!!
Also, I can see FAR too many parallels to the insanity of beaurocracy in our own world.
Example: "Welfare is bad. It's people leeching off tax payer dollars. etc."
"We need to get rid of Welfare to Work. Sure it gets people OFF Welfare and INTO JOBS, but it COSTS MONEY." ~.~
I find the biggest problem with beauracracy and Politics in general, is that although they want PEOPLE, TEACHERS, SCHOOLS, ETC. to be Responsible and EARN their money....they are UNWILLING to hold themselves to the same standards.
Example: We need to drug test welfare people, because SOME of them do drugs.
Sure members of Congress and/or House have been convicted of drug abuse, but they should NEVER be drug tested to get their paychecks!
Considering that Twilight Velvet's daughter is the Princess of Friendship, and her daughter-in-law is the Princess of Love, one would think she could ask them for help, at least to get her department the funds it needs.
7767283
Meanwhile, other departments do without, because they don't have a rich relative calling the shots.
That's fair and it certainly wouldn't make anybody angry, or bring about cries of "Nepotism!" or "Cronyism!"
7637837 Ehr... wait a moment... what the hell has Big Mac said that can be construed as so woman hating? Because I really don't understand...
8061022
His views on mares are old-fashioned. He's not a woman-hater, but he believes in the 'stallions should work and mares should keep the home'. Because in some ways it is utterly sensible, but it doesn't suit an advanced society that has time to expand its individual liberties and societal understandings. He respects mares, and doesn't seem to think of them as inferior beings or something like warm seed-dumps or anything.
Just his views aren't very popular among the more hard-working mares, and he seems to very rarely share them, knowing they aren't popular. He stays quiet so as to try and not offend anyone, which is somewhat unfair to him because it limits his ability to socialize and communicate until people understand why he would think that and know not to hold it against him.
Kudzu tried to convey everything I said there, which I deduced from the situation with Big Mac, but you know how modern feminists are. Lord knows I respected the first wave, we definitely needed that. But this 3rd/potentially 4th wave mess... just more knee-jerk reactions than anything, trying to fight a war that's already been won or isn't being helped by aggressive attitudes and aggressive defensiveness. Well, that sort jumped on Kudzu and tried to claw his eyes out for writing a character like Big Mac - who, again, despite being respectful and kind, holds a traditionalist view on homemaking and the gender roles thereof. That's just the way he sees things, and many mares obviously feel the same way or they wouldn't be doing what they do - many disagree. That is BIG MAC's viewpoint and not necessarily the author's, but it was treated as the author was a horrific woman-hating sexist and by jove they attacked him for it instead of trying to clear the cobwebs out of their noggins.
Kinda funny how you can never get away with calling a misandrist a sexist. Which this story is, perhaps unintentionally, addressing. A single mother has more assistance than a single father in Equestria, and the powers that be (with Celestia's secret backing and approval, no doubt), are trying to help change that discrimination and cordon of paperwork nonsense.
7637429
Old comment but I had to.
8504914
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=futurama+bureaucrat+song&&view=detail&mid=CAB9F5FF27062C990FA1CAB9F5FF27062C990FA1&&FORM=VRDGAR
Good.