Mister Blancmange was a stern looking pegasus of middle age that had a few more wrinkles than most ponies his age. He wore pince-nez glasses that somehow balanced upon the fine bridge of his muzzle and a soot grey suit that fitted him far too well for it to have been off of the rack. His mane was slicked back with an oily looking pomade that filled his office with a bitter, medicinal, almost unpleasant aroma.
“So, you have come to me seeking help,” Mister Blancmange said, his words not a question, but a statement of fact. “I will tell you right up front, there is no help to be had. You are an able bodied male and whatever help you think you need, you will not find here.”
Miss Oddbody, clearing her throat, began, “Mister Blancmange—”
“You know, not at all that long ago, there was a system of help for those who could not or would not help themselves. We had workhouses… labour farms… we had an exceptional method of patronage to help those unwilling or unable to help themselves. We had a means to carry them from the cradle to the grave. We housed them, we fed them, we sustained them, and all they had to do in return is work.”
Mister Blancmange cleared his throat, then continued, “But a certain group of radicals disparaged this system. The radicals, these… leftists, these so called bleeding hearts, they tore down a grand institution with no plans in mind to replace it. We had a fine, working system that protected the poor from starvation, deprivation, and destitution… the system worked and even generated money, enough so that it could fund itself and give a positive return to the Crown.”
Miss Oddbody sat back in her chair and scowled, while Copperquick had no reaction.
“But this system was disparaged… it was called degrading. Deequinising. These… radicals called it an affront to equine dignity. A system that housed and fed the poor. Now, these same poor sleep in the streets, wander the wilderness, and beg for food. Some have even turned to crime out of desperation. A terrible disservice was done to them, a crime perpetrated by these leftist thinkers that seek to undermine and undo our great nation and our fine social institutions. Now, almost every day, I see able bodied mares come to me, begging for more assistance, because what we give them is never enough to cover all of the things they believe they are entitled to.”
“I am more than willing to work,” Copperquick said in a low voice that threatened to crack.
“Then work,” Mister Blancmange replied. “Honestly, it is my opinion that you are using your daughter as an excuse. Do what is right for her. Place her in an orphanage or orphanarium and then return to behaving as a productive member of society. Is that so difficult?”
“I want to keep her and do right by her.” Copperquick leaned forwards in his chair and his eyes narrowed. “I’m trying to stay in school. I’ll be a better provider for her if I’m educated. I’m trying to do the right thing and take responsibility for what I have done.”
“Bah! More entitlement! Do you actually think you need an education? Work! You are an earth pony, are you not? Go and find work on a farm or a ranch somewhere! Stop making excuses! Join the guard, I understand that they make provisions for single parents and offer foal care. Or, you know, you could just do the right thing and turn your daughter over to Crown care. If you loved her half as much as you think you do, you would do the right thing, see that she is cared for by a proper maternal figure and you could return to following through with our own wish fulfillment, chasing after whatever it is that you think you are entitled to, without screwing up her life!”
“Hey!” Miss Oddbody snapped as she puffed out in a very birdlike fashion. “You are out of line, Mister Blancmange!”
Mister Blancmange turned to the smaller pegasus glaring at him and gave her a cool stare. “How typical. Let me guess… you must be one of those bleeding hearts. Look at you… just… look at you. You lack the proper cutie mark for this job. You don’t even have the proper temperament for the job. You are just some foolish young filly that thinks that you know everything because you are young and full of grandiose ideals. You let yourself be led around by emotion rather than logic, common sense, and cold reason. Perhaps you should return to whatever farm you came from before you make a fool of yourself and irreversibly mess up somepony’s life.”
As if she had been struck, Miss Oddbody fell back in her chair, slumping down, her wings sagging as her eyes flooded with tears. The pegasus mare’s ears drooped and she could no longer meet the gaze of Mister Blancmange, who continued to stare her down.
“Look at you… pathetic. Thin skinned. Worthless. Weak. Soft. You have no place here. If hearing the base truth causes you to start blubbering, then you have no place at all within this system. How could you ever be expected to make difficult decisions if you are this fragile? How could you possibly rely upon cold reason, logic, and common sense if you are too busy whinging and snotting, overcome with your weak, worthless, feminine emotions? You disgust me, you spineless, sniveling little—”
“Say one more word to her and I’ll snap your scrawny neck.” Copperquick’s words were every bit as cold and ruthless as Mister Blancmange’s. “Just one more word… say it… just say it… give me a reason to twist your pontificating head right off.”
Eyes wide and fearful, Mister Blancmange turned his attention to Copperquick. A large throbbing vein stood out in high relief upon Copperquick’s neck. Miss Oddbody had covered her face with her hooves and was letting out the worst sounding choked sobs. The tension in the room grew unbearable, and Mister Blancmange sank back in his opulent, well padded chair as Copperquick stared him down.
“Miss Oddbody,” Copperquick said in a soft voice to his companion, “I do believe that it is time for us to be going. Come on… come with me, Miss Oddbody.”
“I want you out of my office,” Mister Blancmange demanded.
“Shut up!” Copperquick bellowed. “You cold, heartless little ass! Just shut up! There is no way that you will survive long enough for security to get here! Not one more word out of you! Not ONE!”
Cowed, Mister Blancmange sat in his seat, quivering and terrified of the much larger and much more powerful earth pony. In the close confines of the office, there was no doubt of the outcome of the conflict, if it happened. The smaller pegasus stallion shook with so much force that his pince-nez glasses slipped from his muzzle and fell to the floor with a clatter.
Saying nothing, Copperquick collected Miss Oddbody and departed.
Outside, free of the confines of Mister Blancmange’s office, Copperquick eased Miss Oddbody off of his back, down to the sidewalk, where she buried her face into her hooves once more and sobbed in earnest. Esmeralda was becoming fussy as well and sounded as though she might start squalling. Not knowing what to do, Copperquick sat down beside Miss Oddbody and tried to collect himself.
“This is all I’ll ever be,” Miss Oddbody said into her hooves as she sobbed.
“Miss Oddbody?”
“Just some dumb mare with a soft heart. Some stupid mare. Just a mare with a bleeding heart! Just some worthless mare who should have stayed on the farm! Or better yet, in the kitchen! Everything goes wrong when a mare leaves the kitchen!”
Copperquick couldn’t figure out what to say. He scooted a little closer to Miss Oddbody, not knowing what to do to comfort her. Being the young and single sort, he didn’t have a lot of experience in comforting crying mares and he was quite scared of the whole situation, even though he would never admit it.
A part of him also understood Mister Blancmange. That horrible, wretched pegasus’ whole job was to make sure that those who made appeals were turned down and driven out of the building. His job was to run interference. And he had. Feeling degraded, feeling put down, feeling absolutely worthless, Copperquick found himself crying, and no matter what he did, he couldn’t hold back the tears that started to flow.
Deep inside, in the back of his mind, a little voice of doubt could now be heard. Was he doing the right thing for his daughter? Was he even fit to be a father? Perhaps he should drop out of school and join the guard or go and work on a farm somewhere. He didn’t need to be educated, he just needed to work. Was he using his daughter as an excuse? Overcome with doubt, Copperquick fell apart with frightening rapidity and his soft cries became hard, body wracking sobs.
“I feel so worthless,” Miss Oddbody said to Copperquick, “I feel so frail and vulnerable right now. It hurts inside.”
Without thinking about what he was doing, Copperquick pulled Miss Oddbody close to him. She resisted a bit, but gave up almost right away, and then the two of them sat together on the sidewalk. Esmeralda, upset, quieted just a bit when she was sandwiched between the two ponies who hugged one another.
But the hug wasn’t enough. Seeking comfort, without really thinking about about what he was doing, Copperquick slipped one foreleg around Miss Oddbody’s neck, he tipped her backwards a bit, and when she opened up her mouth to cry out, he kissed her, squishing Esmeralda between them. For a moment, there was resistance as she tried to push him away, but that resistance was short lived and then she pulled him closer. The little pegasus mare’s wings began flapping, then buzzing, and then it was all Copperquick could do to keep himself and Miss Oddbody on the ground.
It was Copperquick that pulled away with a breathless, slobbery pop. He let go and Miss Oddbody floated away, her wings buzzing, and she hovered around his head with a strange sad grin upon her face. The skinny little pegasus buzzed in a circle around the earth pony’s head a few times, then flew up in front of him.
“You kissed me.” Miss Oddbody looked Copperquick in the eye.
“Well, I think it is safe to say that you kissed me back.”
“You fool, you don’t know what you’ve done.” Miss Oddbody buzzed off and returned to circling around Copperquick’s head. “Tomorrow, I will have to report this to Mrs. Velvet. I’ve become emotionally involved. I’m going to have to be removed from the case.”
“I’m sorry—mmmph!”
Jamming one petite hoof into Copperquick’s mouth to silence him, Miss Oddbody said, “Don’t be sorry. This is my fault. I started this when I followed my Moomy’s advice and fixed you hot buttery toast with cheese. She told me that it would work and it did. I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I did it, and now I have to live with the consequences.” Adjusting her glasses with one hoof, she yanked her other hoof out of Copperquick’s mouth. “I’ve goofed, but I don’t regret it.”
“I don’t know what’s going on.” Copperquick, sitting on the sidewalk, watched as the pegasus mare he had just kissed flew circles around his head.
“Tomorrow, a bunch of stuff will have to be sorted out. I’ll face the consequences, but it will be worth it. Not to worry though, as I’m not giving up on you. I’ll find a way.” Miss Oddbody, revitalised, began flitting around like a hummingbird. “Come on, we need to get you home and then off to school. We can’t mess that up, Mrs. Velvet would kill me for sure.”
“I have mail,” Copperquick said as he peered into his mailbox. Peeping in, he saw the white envelope and it took a little effort to fish it out. Not having magic or dextrous wings, he had to do things the hard way and his hoof didn’t quite fit into the narrow mailbox. When he managed to get it out, it plopped down onto the cement.
Bowing his head, he picked it up in his lips, then got a grip on it with his fetlock. Holding it, he looked at Miss Oddbody, still sorting out his feelings about the kiss, and then he looked at the envelope, which was heavy and full of papers. It was addressed to Father, infant earth pony female.
Using his teeth, he tore away the top edge of the envelope and then just stared at it, wanting to know what it was, but not wanting to dump it out on the sidewalk. He should have waited on opening it until he was inside his apartment. He gave Miss Oddbody a sheepish grin and hoped that she would take a hint.
“Give me that!” Miss Oddbody snatched the envelope from Copperquick and pulled out the bundle of papers inside. Standing on the sidewalk, she used her wings to unfold the paper and have a look. After a few seconds, her mouth fell open and her eyes went wide.
“What is it?” Copperquick asked.
Saying nothing, Miss Oddbody held out the papers for Copperquick to read, which he did. The pair, now both in shock, stood there together, open mouthed, wide-eyed, and both of them were too stunned to do much else. Copperquick staggered backwards a bit and shook his head.
“Oh, that’s just not fair,” he breathed, having trouble making the words.
Miss Oddbody bit down upon her lip, shook her head, and said nothing.
“I can’t pay that… that’s more bits than I make in a year, and most of my bits go to rent and college. Right now, I don’t even have a job.” Once again, more tears welled up in Copperquick’s eyes and he shook his head as the first one rolled down his cheek. “That dirty bitch stuck me with the bill. I can’t believe it… this is how much it costs to give birth?”
“If there are complications, yes, maybe, or other procedures done,” Miss Oddbody said in a low voice. “They sent a list of services rendered. We’ll need to talk to Mrs. Velvet about this too, tomorrow.”
“I… I can buy a house in Ponyville for this kind of money.” Astonished, Copperquick just stood there, stunned, and crying once more, doing nothing to hold it back. “How am I ever going to get my head above water now? How can they do this to ponies?”
“You need to be off to school. Give me little Esmeralda and her foal stuff. Try not to worry about it too much. I’ll have dinner ready when you come home tonight, but you’ll owe me—”
“Fair exchange,” Copperquick said, butting in because he knew what was about to be said.
“Hurry, you are going to be late for class! Get a move on, you big lug!”
Kudz, I'm trying to catch up on The Perilous Romance of Swans, and you send over a tear-jerker like this!?
Pls, stahp, because if you cry, I'll cry!
Mister Blancmange. Yup, he's going on the list.
After a quite terrible ending of my day, it really cheered me up to see another chapter being posted of this wonderful story
And looks like the inevitable happene now I can hear wedding-bells~
Copperquick is more than paying for his moment of fun
7652162
The sad thing is I know what all this feels like.
Something remotely similar to this has happened in my life.
And I'm not even the father.
after a talk with Kudz, i ended up with the basic fact is that i can't comprehend the "medical bill" as a general view from someone non US.
with the price of the health system in us being so high so we have cases like Copperquick getting the "bill"... i just don't have it here, can't understand it.
as for Blancmange, nice way of handling it Copperquick, sometimes you need to explain that killing somepony is also a valid option
7652218
Here in America, the hospital can charge you for holding your baby.
....... celestia really has been keeping her head up her ass in this world.
7652242
No. That's uncalled for.
One ruler cannot possibly keep up with the needs of millions.
Sadly there are still people that believe like Mister Blancmange about single fathers. I'd love to say he doesn't have a place in bureaucracy but he does.
Work houses did some good but once you were there the system was set to keep you there. Not sure about work houses in the Weed-verse. Historically speaking there was people interested in keeping the workhouses going not because they were good but they got the beggars off the street. In truth they were only marginally better than slavery and while there were rules and regulations they weren't well enforced
I know what your going to with Miss Oddbody CopperQuick. All I can say is wrap it before you tap it. You don't need this drama happening twice.
Well, Blancmange is not sweet and wobbly like his name would suggest. I suppose his whole life circles around making others wobbly.
7652242 honestly, i was half hoping she would come along to ask why they were crying before charging into the office herself.
Celestia: So you think that "bleeding hearts" broke society?
Mr. B: Yes, they are terrible ponies.
Celestia: So you're saying that ponies with a shred of sympathy are terrible?
Mr. B: Definitely
Celestia: Well then, I guess that makes me an absolute monster, right?
Mr. B: What? N-No that's not what I meant?
Celestia: Oh really? Tell me, how would you like a nice, long vacation on the moon?
Mr. B: Aw, buck.
Y'know, something like that.
7652222
Before anyone says "No, that's impossible"- yes, really.
themighty.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Grassley-Bill1-750x422.jpg
7652248 that sounds like the excuse that a president or politician would make.
mostly i mean having things like this pop up. its clearly exploitation to the hundredth degree this guy was talking about, and in his own delusions he had no comprehension that is what it was.
also isn't equestria a world that is fueled by 'bleeding hearts' to begin with?
7652274
Well, what do you expect? He's
FrenchFancy.Copperquick and Buttermilk Oddbody are lucky that he didn't fart in their general direction, or say disparaging things about their mothers and fathers.
7652280 Have no problem with the idea of a bill like that,, That is just 1 bill most hospitals any surgery you'd have the hospital, the surgeon, anesthesiologist, ER if you came in that way, ambulance. If its a small rural hospital they might transfer you to a larger hospital. Didn't see any mention of drugs I'm sure there wold be those
7652314
True, true.
7652248
7652242 Like any leader of a nation they depend on their aides and regional officials to keep them informed day to day. If any of that fails through one reason or another bad things happen.. Truthfully some of 'bad' things were probably approved by Celestia but over time they been warped and abused with odd exceptions slipping through the cracks
7652342
Correct. At the time, when some of these policies were first put into effect, they were revolutionary and ground breaking. Acts done by the bleeding hearts and leftists of that era. Over time, as with real life, authoritarianism creeps into advances made by social progression and warps it. Over time, leftist advancements and progressions become rightist institutions. This is a recognised form of social decay and it is discussed at great length in many books about sociology.
In college, I ran into a very misguided ultra-conservatist type and I made the mistake of trying to explain to him that sociology is not the study of socialism. When I attempted to explain the distinction, I was branded as a mouthpiece for the vast liberal agenda out to destroy America and called 'queer.' Needless to say, I was quite offended by the whole thing.
Ah Mister Blancmange, I would like to introduce you to some friends of mine, Mr and Mrs Samuel Brainsample. Have fun!
7652324
The point is the highlighted section.
They are literally charging you to hold your baby after it's born. You know, that critical first moment of bonding with your son or daughter....for a $35 fee.
7652360 Well for the Patrons of the workhouses they got a good public image for helping the poor and cheap labor.
7652370 seen the $5 aspirin and other fun stuff
7652375
The workhouses have some interesting, odd, and conflicting history.
In some very early accounts, kind monks and nuns would take in the poor and have them labour in exchange for supplies, food, and goods for the monastery/convent. The rightists of those days saw this as a means of enabling the poor. It contributed to laziness. How? I don't even know. But it helped to house those who could find no shelter and feed those who could find no food.
Fast forward to industrialisation.
Workhouses are a valuable institution that generate an immense profit. There are both private and government owned workhouses. They are called Christian charities, but the conditions are deplorable and awful, the sort of thing that Charles Dickens just had to write about , because he was one of those insufferable bleeding hearts
Entire economies depend upon the workhouses and the average person of means (middle class) had no idea that conditions were as bad as they were. The workhouses had pageants to gain patrons, and they would have mock workhouses filled with mock residents, all of which was perfect, neat, and tidy. Clean walls, good food, no rats, the poor living on the very brink of luxury. The labourers got things like sugar, coffee, and chocolate, the very things that the middle class had to struggle to pay for. Of course, being a staged pageant, this is all a clever ruse.
Why, it was scandalous, that much excess. But it made everybody feel good, because the poor weren't really poor, they were just the middle class on their way up, or so many of the gullible masses believed.
I've read about this extensively. It made me ill.
7652360
I suppose owning a dictionary or a lexicon is the mark of a true marxist.
7652242 She's one pony. One equine equivalent of a greater angel or a minor goddess, but still just one. Equestria has a hell of a lot of fires to put out, she cannae attend to them all. For over 950 years, she ruled alone, and only recently has Luna returned, Twilight ascended and Cadance become learned enough in the ways of statecraft to be of any assistance whatsoever. She's one heck of a pony, but, even the great and mighty Sol Invictus is but one.
7652404 While I hadn't heard of that I'm not surprised by that history. Keep in mind there was a time when the nobility was extremely scared and jelious of the power and money held by the church. Truthfully the workhouse is still alive and well in China and a number of third world countries
Yup, father has to pay all of it. Though that it took that long I would've thought a mare with that kinda job would've at least have had insurance or paid it already.
7652278 This would be epic!!!
Edit: Although the moon is to good for him. How about eternity in Tartarus?
7652280 Am puzzled by quantity's in first 3 lines. How do you have 79 c-sections?
Oh wow, this guy is an ass. Assuming this encounter is being recorded as Twilight Velvet instructed, this could get prickly for everyone involved.
Well!
Ms Oddbody really crossed the Rubicon with that hot buttery toast with cheese.
7661963 It is a known fact that Hot Buttery Toast With Cheese is an Aphrodisiac and is AMAZING. The only ones who could POSSIBLY resist it's siren call are Vegans!
7737192 actually if you know how to use coconut oil and plant milks right you can make a vegan butter and cashew cheese is scrummy. Not complicated to make either ^-^ Hell ya can even makle a vegan camambert style if ya get the right starters ^-^
7806626
https://www.youtube.com/user/VeganBlackMetalChef
Click that!
7652222 That's why america health care system is definitely f****d up beyond belief...