Chapter 3
It was now late afternoon and the little filly was sleeping. Copperquick found himself back in the park where he started, feeling a little bewildered, but happy. He was loaded down like some pack beast, but that was okay. Diapers, formula, foal stuff, and of course, his daughter. Miss Oddbody was loaded down as well. She was humming to herself, and Copperquick found that he liked her a great deal, even if she was a little overcaffeinated.
The filly needed a name, but Copperquick had no idea what to call her. Nothing came to mind. She was sleeping now, the filly, snug in her carrier, and she seemed happy enough. Something about her was precious to him and he tried not to think about everything she needed—doing so would only cause him to become overwhelmed. A crib, toys, her own room—his apartment was tiny, perfect for a poor college student in Canterlot, but terrible for a father of one.
There were far too many things he didn’t have answers to. Where was the rent money for next month coming from? How was he going to buy food? He didn’t have much in the way of groceries at home, he bought his meals out. Cooking was a time investment that he didn’t have, along with cleaning. He was always working, in school, studying, or sleeping.
“So, tell me about yourself!” Miss Oddbody said in cheerful voice that startled Copperquick. “You have an interesting cutie mark, I’ve never seen one like that before. Is that a bowler hat?”
Copperquick gave his head a nod. “Yep. That’s a bowler hat.”
“So, how does a pony get a bowler hat cutie mark? I’m dying to know!”
“Well, this pony was a late bloomer. I was content to just make my way through life with no real plan. I wasn’t like the other foals my age. I didn’t have my life figured out and my cutie mark came late. But I didn’t feel a big hurry about it either. I didn’t mind just being myself and not having a mark.”
“Oh. Yeah, more ponies should be happy just being themselves.”
Smiling, Copperquick looked down at his daughter. “One day, I decided that what I did wasn’t as important as being happy. I figured that I could do most anything an earth pony could do. I was an average student, not much that really stood out, I was perfectly average in every conceivable way. I didn’t get the best grades, but I didn’t flunk out on any classes either. So, this plan formed—I will remain perfectly average. I’ll become a banker, or an accountant, or I’ll go into marketing, or sales, it didn’t matter what I did, not really. I figured that I would become just another member of the workforce, one of the many workers that keep the world moving and keep society running. I finished secondary school, went to college, and right now, I am doing general education with an undeclared major.”
“But what about your cutie mark?” Miss Oddbody asked.
“Oh, oh yes, that… well, that showed up about the same time I formed my plan to remain average and become a well respected member of the labour force.” Copperquick bounced the foal hanging from his neck and was rewarded with a whiff of new foal smell, which smelled a lot like powder and milk.
“So, you wish to be a well respected pony—”
“A pony that can be counted on to do his job of drudgery without complaint. I figure I’ll form an equinality when I’m retired and have money along with free time.”
The perky pegasus tilted her head off to one side, adjusted her oversized square glasses, and her ears perfomed gymnastic feats as she cogitated upon Copperquick’s words. After several minutes of total silence, she exploded. “Let’s go get coffee! I have a stipend for daily expenses and nothing has been spent today! Coffee! You’re a student! I’m a student! Students need coffee!”
“You never told me about yourself,” Copperquick said to his pegasus companion.
“Oh, not much to tell. My mother is a dairy farmer who makes soaps and cheeses and sometimes soapy cheeses when she hasn’t had enough sleep.” The pegasus shuddered and squeezed her eyes shut for a second. Opening her eyes once more, she continued, “My father, he pulls double duty in the postal service and selling life insurance. He’s a pegasus like me. Moomy is an earth pony, he saw her working in the field one day and came down to say hello, and she didn’t let him leave. She plied him with cheeses and hot buttery toast.”
“Well, that’s one way to get a stallion’s attention,” Copperquick remarked.
“I got a butter churn as a cutie mark, as I am sure you have noticed. Yes, I like butter. On everything. I woke up one day and wanted to make a difference. Went to university. Radicalised a bit. Got in trouble for radicalising a bit too much. Ended up in jail after a demonstration. Non violent protest, but I still got arrested. Daddums and Moomy couldn’t afford my bail. I thought I was up a creek without a paddle. Had exams coming. A very nice mare came and paid my bail, along with several others. The others turned down her offer, but not me. I knew a good thing when I saw it, and that’s how I came to be working for Mrs. Velvet.”
“So, she saved you?” Copperquick felt a little intrigued.
“She’s saving all of us,” Miss Oddbody replied. “She demands hard work. There is no on the clock or off the clock with Mrs. Velvet. A pony is always working. We have to close up the cracks, Mister Copperquick, every pony lost through them is an affront to basic equine dignity. I cannot just sit back and allow bad things to happen to good ponies. I chose to fight! Because I’m a pegasus! And we fight things… I guess… well, some of us! This is my fight and Mrs. Velvet points out a target and I go PUNCHY PUNCHY PUNCHY and try to make things right!”
The perky pegasus got up and began bouncing around the park on two legs, punching and boxing the air with her front hooves. It was an odd sight, with her cardigan sweater, her glasses, and her messy bun. For one so young, she embraced a sense of granny fashion, but moved like a prize fighter hopped up on performance enhancing sugar-snacks.
“Coffee!” Miss Oddbody cried as she took off, her wings buzzing.
Getting up, Copperquick set off at a brisk trot after his companion, thinking a cup of coffee might be nice
↼Quite some hours later⇁
The night was chilly in Canterlot as Copperquick walked home from his classes. He had some trouble concentrating at first, he was restless, but then he had settled down and was able to pay attention in class. He was hungry, but there were precious few bits left and he didn’t know where more bits would come from. He and Miss Oddbody had coffee and lunch earlier, and that had been his only meal for the day.
So many nights he had walked this same path, along this same street, and always as a student. Now, he walked down this sidewalk that he had followed home so many times as a father, and somehow, it felt different. There was a sense of urgency in getting home. The routine was the same, but the conditions had changed. Now, there was a great big gap in his day, from four PM to ten PM where he was not spending time with his daughter.
As he walked, he thought about school. He might need to drop out, but if he did, then what? Become a wage slave that spent most of his income on foal care and remained perpetually broke? Copperquick was just smart enough to realise how screwed he was. His many books slapped against his sides in his saddlebags and he wondered how he was going to study without being distracted. Upon getting home at approximately twenty after ten, it would be study time until at least one or two in the morning, then sleep, then going to work at seven to spend eight hours of his day working for a—he paused, coming to a stop. There would be no work come tomorrow morning.
It was like a slap in the face. Hot stinging tears filled his eyes and the cold, near frozen air of the night made the stinging sensation even more painful. Standing in the island of soft yellow light offered by a streetlamp, Copperquick broke down and began crying, unable to hold it in any longer. He was going to be home late tonight, at least ten thirty.
Opening his apartment door, Copperquick peered inside. Miss Oddbody had set up camp in his tiny, cramped living room. His foal was on a pallet of blankets on the floor, sound asleep. His new roommate was drinking tea and looking very, very relaxed. Creeping his way inside, he shut the door behind him and looked at his filly.
After several long seconds, he asked, “Is she breathing?”
“Wait,” Miss Oddbody whispered as she dove into her bag. She pulled out a book, then scowled. “Nope, that’s ‘Is He Breathing?’ and I need ‘Is She Breathing?’ for the worried father… hmm.” After rummaging around, the now quiet and calm pegasus pulled out a book and passed it to Copperquick.
The cover read, ‘Is She Breathing?’ Sitting down on the floor, he accepted the book and held in his front hooves. With a little effort, he flipped it open and read the first page. This was a book on common questions for new parents, as well as a source of reassurance for common fears, including what to do if a foal was not breathing.
“She hardly cries at all,” Miss Oddbody said in a voice as soft as a foal’s fresh washed blanket. “But she is far hungrier than most. I don’t know if it is because she is slightly malnourished, or if it is perhaps an earth pony quirk. New parents have to be careful which foal rearing books they buy, ‘cause precious wee widdle ones all have different physiologies and needs.”
Half listening, Copperquick nodded.
“So long as she stays full, she doesn’t cry at all. I’ve never had a foal be so quiet and well behaved… ever. She doesn’t like being poopy, and who can blame her, I don’t like being poopy either, and I don’t think she deals well with being hungry. The moment she starts to feel a little peckish, even just a little, she needs to be fed or else she becomes an alarm klaxon.”
Now paying a little more attention, Copperquick nodded again.
“We need to be up at six in the morning tomorrow,” Miss Oddbody said to Copperquick in a low, quiet voice. “The dole office opens up at seven and we need to see if we can get you enrolled in the relief fund for single mothers.”
Looking up from his book, Copperquick peered at his new roommate.
“See, the thing is, they made the relief fund for single mothers. Females. Mares. And fillies, who are raising a little filly of their own. Now, bureaucrats, being the soulless, spineless, sniveling creatures who are a slave to order that they are, well, they are going to notice that you aren’t a mare. But you would make a very attractive mare if you were, so don’t become distraught. I am not discriminating against your gender, I assure you.”
An exhausted half smile appeared on Copperquick’s muzzle.
“Because of the bureaucracy, the dole for single mothers is not handled by foal services, as it should be, but by the treasury wing of government niche offices connected to unemployment. The treasury wing is the last bastion of the old school conservatives and the authoritarians, the guard dogs of the Crown’s finances. They believe that social welfare is a form of social decay, and more social welfare is more social decay, they are quite hesitant to hand out anything, and everything comes with strings attached. Many of the treasury bureaucrats believe that society will be perfect when they are no longer required to have a job, as that means that the social decay has been addressed and dealt with. They are awful ponies, and I hate them just a teensy, tiny bit.”
“So, what you are saying is, preserving the state of the bureaucracy is more important than helping the citizens?” Copperquick’s eyes blinked in a rapid manner as he tried to understand the logic at work here. “Because I am not a mare, I do not qualify for aid, even though I am a parent in need?”
“Yup.”
“That’s asinine—”
“No swearing in front of your sweet little girl,” Miss Oddbody hissed in a very threatening manner. She held up a hoof and shook it at Copperquick. “Preserve her sweet innocence.” After a few more hoof shakes, she relented and then a serene smile spread over her muzzle. “I picked up a few groceries while you were gone. You don’t have much of a kitchen and you have a very tiny fridge, but I made it work. If you are hungry, I’ll fix ya something, but then you owe me in the rules of fair exchange.”
“I’m fine, thanks.” Copperquick stuck his nose into the book and didn’t even think about what he needed to study tonight. The book wasn’t very big, only fifty pages or so, and he was determined to read all of them. Foals needed constant care and attention, with regular feedings, and the book made it clear that questions were normal and healthy for new parents.
Sitting next to his daughter, Copperquick settled in for a good study session with the hopes that he could get a passing grade as a father.
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7632175
Oh, it is mentioned.
Earth ponies.
quite
Also: STAY IN SCHOOL, COPPERQUICK! DON'T DROP OUT OR MISS VELVET WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD!
let alone Helianthus... *shivers*
Fucking Bureaucrats, thinking they are helping society by withholding actual help.
7632186
They are encouraging ponies to help themselves. If there is a social safety net, ponies become lazy and stop helping themselves and all of society grinds to a halt. So clearly, the answer is to remove all social safety nets.
Hmmm. I bet with Copperquick's Wing Fetish, seeing one wing Display from Gosling is all it would take to turn him gay, or at the least bi.
Copperquick is certainly an interesting character. Revelling in mediocrity is not something you hear from every protagonist.
hatsandcaps.co.uk/images/articles/bowlers-labor-demonstration.jpg
7632221
I'm not sure what word equinality means... the word sounds like a ponypun, and if I Google it I don't get anything in English.
Also that's a... curious mix of easy and harder to relate to traits. Wanting to have a life you like despite your job, but most people wind up resenting that drudgery, rather than embracing it.
See, I'ven heard legends of some runarounds men are inflicted with when trying to get funding for male programs handling "female problems", like DV.
7632282
Person = personality
Equine =
7632192 There be the crux of the problem helping the ones that need it who don't like charity, but forcing the lazy butts who want a free handout off there butts who don't really need assistance. Weening calves on a dairy is easier.
7632282
I'm glad that somebody (you) brought that up.
See, he's an earth pony, and I wanted his character to reflect earth pony work values and ethics. Rather than just the view of 'work hard' which is common to so many earth ponies, his view is do a job that needs to be done. Somepony has to do it. Society needs middle managers and accountants. Pulling a wagon might be seen as being just as boring as keeping the books balanced, but both take a steady sort of dedication to doing the job and doing it right.
Call it headcanon, but I see earth ponies performing these jobs because they have the right temperament to approaching it as a task.
7632184 Or... Twilight Sparkle.
The Daughter of The Mother
The Student of The Sun
And Avatar of Knowledge.
She shall cometh.
7632254 lol yeah, she has to be at lest a doppelganger Celestia created or just herself in disguise. We all know she has that sort of power to do so, so its really not that difficult to think of her doing such things. I mean if luna can be in more then one place at a time im sure Celestia can as well.. Eh i just wonder how much of a mental strain that would be honestly to see through more then one set of eyes..
7632444
Helianthus will be revealed at the end of VI.
I can just imagine the bureaucratic nightmare Copper is about to walk into, and not even nuclear flame will cleanse it.
This is gonna get messy.
In other news, I'm finding I like Miss Oddbody more and more. Kind of cute, hyper active, but does have a meaner streak when it comes to out and out assholes.
7632450 oh sweet! I was wondering when that was coming.
Ugh, bureaucrats. They are never fun to deal with.
7632724
In Equestria, ponies get cutie marks to be in the bureaucracy. They are very, very good at their jobs.
7632728 oh god. That sounds terrible. Like actually terrible.
7632450 kinda figured as much, hard to think of what she looks like other then a big ass white earth pony xD
7630575 I have in part. Not a bad story, but not my cup of tea.
7632728 That is almost as terifying as Gogar is... maybe even more so depending on how one looks at it.
Also I'm loving this story. While the other stories in this verse are about action and stuff(while keeping to the core concept of this verse). This story is different...a good kind of different. Plus it's tackleing the problems that single fathers have.
Perfect writing style as always...
Waiting for the farting to appear as I know you
I absolutely adore this so far... I can't wait for that little filly to get a name! XD
7632303
*shivering intensifies exponentially*
(also is your avatar One Punch Pony? It looks like what One Punch Man would look like ponified. And how do you reply using someone's username rather than the comment number?)
Would it be insulting to call you a derp, or a ditz? Because I think you're missing a do in here somewhere.
7641310 ch3
*chuckle* from the pony with a hogtied Daring 'DO', very apt!
7641558
So I do, so I do.
Bureaucracy is the second biggest piece of BS in all of the Multiverse, next to Universal Energy Entropy of course.
What's Lunas counterparts name again? Also, was she trapped on the moon too?
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+well+respected+man&&view=detail&mid=626B092CDA287CA39493626B092CDA287CA39493&rvsmid=B7AA77642B7AB9EB5D08B7AA77642B7AB9EB5D08&FORM=VDQVAP
"fags" is British slang. In this context it means cigarettes