Feeling insecure and worried, Copperquick helped to clear away the breakfast dishes. The morning meal was leftover beans and cornbread from the late night meal before studying. As he cleared up the mess, Esmeralda wobbled around the living room area on her short, stubby legs, following after a bright red rubber ball covered in five pointed golden stars that she pushed around with her nose.
This was far from domestic bliss, but Copperquick found that he liked it a great deal. Perhaps infatuation dulled the senses and made everything more tolerable than it really was. When he heard a sigh from Miss Oddbody, his ears perked and he tensed, already knowing the problem. What if Mrs. Velvet put her hoof down and forbade any further contact between the two of them? It was unlikely that Mrs. Velvet would do such a thing, but Miss Oddbody was fretful about it.
“What do you think destiny is and how do you think it works?” Miss Oddbody asked.
After pondering her words for a moment, Copperquick shrugged his withers. “No clue.”
“I have a butter churn for a cutie mark… maybe I do belong on a farm somewhere. I’ve certainly made a mess of things here.” Miss Oddbody took a moment to straighten out her glasses and when she did so, a tendril of her mane slipped out of her fresh morning bun. “Maybe when things spiral out of control it is a sign that destiny is less than pleased with you, and it is time for you to consider changing your ways.”
Copperquick himself wanted to know how destiny worked. Could and would destiny bring two ponies together that didn’t love one another just to create a foal that needed to be born for whatever reason? Was there a purpose to Esmeralda? Why did she exist? Why did he exist? For that matter, why did any of them exist? Cielo del Este was an awful pony but a hot piece of tail. What role did she play in destiny? Copperquick thought about what great ulterior motive destiny might have had in bringing him and her together.
Not a navel gazer or a contemplator of his own hooves, Copperquick found himself doing some real, serious introspection for the first time in his life. Was this growing up? Is this what infatuation did to a pony? Turning his head, he looked over at his daughter, who was burbling and spitting all over the floor.
“I hate this… I hate this! I keep second guessing myself! That loathsome Mister Blancmange has undermined my self confidence. I cannot stand this feeling of doubt!” Miss Oddbody began to sniffle and then gnawed upon her upper lip, trying to hold everything in. She said nothing else, but flounced over to the couch and sat down.
“Mama?” Esmeralda’s backside fell down to the floor and she sat down. After a precarious balancing act, she managed to sit up on her own, wobbling, holding her forelegs up, which she wiggled, and she focused her bright amber eyes upon Miss Oddbody. “Flibbibbity!” The raspberry was loud and clear in the small room and Esmeralda’s tongue flapped around a good bit.
“I don’t know how I feel when she calls me that,” Miss Oddbody admitted as she shook her head. “I wonder what my Moomy might say. I can’t even imagine how my mother might react to all of this. Will she be angry? Would she praise me? Scold me? I don’t even know. I feel like the bottom is falling out of my life.”
“For whatever it is worth, I do not have school tonight.” Copperquick looked down at his daughter, who was staring at the pegasus on the couch. “After we take care of things today, we can sort out whatever happens next and not have to worry for time.”
“We should get ready to go.” Miss Oddbody’s voice wavered and she did not sound calm.
Once more, Copperquick found himself lingering in front of the bakery window, looking at the sun cookies. Sun shaped, decorated with yellow and orange piping, and the sign promised delectable ginger goodness. As he stood there, staring, he suffered a peculiar thought. Where were the moon cookies and what might they taste like?
“You know, some foals can’t stand being hauled around in a carrier, but Esmeralda seems to enjoy it. I think she just likes being close to her Daddy.” With a wry smile, Miss Oddbody lowered her voice and added, “I know I do.”
“You mean, this isn’t normal?” Copperquick turned to face Miss Oddbody with a look of concern upon his face. “How do parents manage?”
The pegasus, only somewhat perky, shrugged and gave a flap of her wings. “I don’t know. But I’d keep an eye on that one. We already know that she is a horrid little manipulator. Last night on the couch—”
“What an awful thing to say!”
“Well, that doesn’t make it less true—”
“Oh, I never said that it wasn’t true, just that it was awful to say.”
Both ponies held their composure for a moment, looking serious, and then they began sniggering together as they looked one another in the eye. Copperquick looked down at his daughter, then back up at Miss Oddbody as he continued to chuckle. Without the need to say anything, both ponies knew it was time to get moving, and they departed from the bakery window.
Copperquick couldn’t help but think that something was wrong, as Mrs. Velvet was waiting for them. She stood there, tapping her hoof, and she had an unreadable expression upon her face. As he came to a halt, he couldn’t help but notice that Miss Oddbody was trembling hard enough to knock her glasses askew.
The stains had been removed from the stone floor, but it remained unbuffed and unpolished. Some of the half rotten wainscotting had been torn away, revealing the mould and filth beneath. The hallway smelled of cleanser and chemicals.
“Mrs. Velvet, I have a confession to make and I ask that you be gentle because I’m having a very trying time right now.” Miss Oddbody stepped forwards and then began try and make her cardigan look a little more presentable. “I beg for your patience, Mrs. Velvet, and your kindness.”
“I already know.” Twilight Velvet took a step towards Miss Oddbody.
“What? How? Are you spying on me?” Miss Oddbody took a step backwards, and bumped into Copperquick, who just stood there, doing nothing.
“Not intentionally.” Twilight Velvet cleared her throat, then smiled a gentle, reassuring smile. “You never turned off your hairpin after your meeting yesterday. I have listened to every word said, every tearful confession, and every bit of your fear and doubts.” The middle aged mare lifted her gaze and looked up at Copperquick. “By the way, congratulations on Esmeralda’s first word. Getting them to talk is easy, it is getting them to be quiet that is the tough and tricky thing.”
Flummoxed, Copperquick stood there and did not respond.
“Well, I feel stupid.” Miss Oddbody blinked a few times, shuffled around on her hooves, and then shook her head. “I was so upset that I didn’t even think about my hairpin. Oh bother.” Extending one wing, she covered her face and then just stood there, berating herself in silence.
“Um, I have a question about Mister Blancmange,” Copperquick said in a hesitant sort of way. “What will become of him? I rather feel that he has crossed the line and something should be done.”
“Oh, I assure you, something will be done. Later today, Mister Blancmange will be meeting with the Lord Mayor, Prince Blueblood and an internal affairs committee. I fear that Mister Blancmange will no doubt be returning to the basement from where he started his career, if he is not asked to tender his resignation outright.” Twilight Velvet, looking troubled and a bit angry, shook her head.
“Look, I know what I did was wrong and I am willing to accept my punishment. I just ask for leniency and that you don’t take me away from my daughter.” Copperquick’s voice was dry and scratchy as he spoke, and Miss Oddbody leaned up against his front left leg.
“I can’t say this in an official capacity, but I admire you for what you said.” Twilight Velvet smacked her lips together for a moment, then clucked her tongue. “But in an official capacity… you were very, very naughty, Mister Copperquick, and you should be ashamed.”
“Will he be punished?” Miss Oddbody asked.
“At this time, the Lord Mayor has no desire to punish Copperquick and as far as I know, plans to let the issue drop. Mister Blancmange needed to be exposed, and both you and Copperquick have done the city of Canterlot a service.” Twilight Velvet took another step forwards and focused her attention on Esmeralda, whom she smiled at.
“And what about us?” Miss Oddbody’s voice was almost squeaky with worry.
“Well, after hearing what Mister Blancmange had to say, I had to report to my own boss, and she was quite irate.” As Twilight Velvet spoke, another pony stepped out from a doorway and came into view. She was tall, she was slender, she was regal, and she was pink. “She had quite a bit to say about the two of you and we listened to your conversation well into the night.”
“Princess Cadance,” Miss Oddbody said as she bowed her head, and then she kicked Copperquick in the leg to snap him out of his stupour.
“Princess.” Copperquick bent his neck and even flexed his front legs a little, but tried to do so without disturbing Esmeralda too much. “It is an honour and a privilege to meet you.”
“Please, call me Cadance.” The alicorn’s gentle voice held a faint trace of mirth and a twinkle of mischief could be seen in her eye. She strode forwards until she stood beside Twilight Velvet, then stopped, and she bowed her own head. “I am sorry for what you went through.”
“I suppose I am in some serious trouble.” Drooping, Miss Oddbody was unable to even look at Twilight Velvet or Cadance. The skinny little pegasus flapped her wings once and then pressed up against Copperquick once more, as if seeking reassurance or comfort. When Cadance focused her gaze upon her, Miss Oddbody ducked beneath Copperquick, as she was small enough to fit beneath him. Like a foal, she peered out from between his front legs, but was unable to make eye contact with Cadance.
“If I may be direct, there is something I want from the two of you,” Cadance said in a straightforward manner. “I wish to run a bit of an experiment of the social variety. I would like for the two of you to work together as a team. Mister Copperquick, or should I just call you Mister Quick, I would very much like to have you among my stable of employees.”
“Why?” Copperquick asked as Esmeralda reached down and tried to get Miss Oddbody’s ears, which were almost within her reach. The foal let out a delighted squeal and Copperquick leveled his curious gaze upon Cadance. “I don’t understand what I could possibly have to offer you.”
Cadance, turning away, began pacing before she answered. “Mister Quick, there is nothing that feels worse than being patronised.”
“I don’t follow.” Copperquick’s ears waggled as he tried to keep up. “If I patronised you, I’m sorry.”
Smiling, Cadance continued, “A patient, suffering excruciating pain, goes to their doctor and says that it hurts. The doctor, who has never felt excruciating pain, says that they understand and they try to reassure the patient. The patient feels patronised.”
Miss Oddbody emerged from beneath Copperquick and looked up at Cadance.
“A social worker, who has never had foals, tries to tell a single mother who is deep in trouble that she understands what the mother is going through. Even though the social worker means well, the single mother feels patronised. It hurts and it is demeaning. It degrades the equine spirit. Feeling patronised is a symptom of empty empathy, and there is only one cure.” Cadance paused in her pacing and looked at Twilight Velvet for a moment before she went on, “A single father, seeking help, is told by a social worker, ‘I know what you are going through.’ This is an outright falsehood and no doubt, this poor single father is going to feel patronised. An already trying experience is made worse by well meaning, but careless words.”
“Um, okay.” Copperquick wasn’t sure what any of this had to do with him.
“There are a lot of single fathers out there, Mister Quick, and almost nothing is being done to help them. Right now, you stand on the very brink of greatness, even though your life has sunk to a low point. You have experience, Mister Quick, as a single father you are beginning to experience the humiliation, the degradation, and all of the trials of a pony in your position.” Cadance turned, took a few steps, and then stood almost snoot to snoot with Copperquick as Miss Oddbody scrambled out of the way of the much larger mare. “Mister Quick, I crave this valuable experience. It is my desire that you will come and work for me. You could very easily transfer into equine services and get a general degree.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Copperquick just stood there, and stared at Cadance.
“Well, to be honest, I can’t pay you much. To start with, nothing at all. But I could see that you get a stipend for daily living expenses. I would of course, look after you and see that your needs are provided for. I can’t promise you a good life, Mister Quick… in fact, this will be an awful life, with many days just like yesterday.” Cadance lowered her head, extended her neck, and nosed Esmeralda, who began giggling at Cadance’s tender touch.
“And what about me?” Miss Oddbody asked.
Clucking her tongue, Cadance smiled and focused her attention upon Miss Oddbody. She stood there for a time, studying the much smaller pegasus, and she even reached out a wing to touch Miss Oddbody’s cheek. “It is my understanding that you have surpassed the thousand hours required for your internship. You will be graduating soon. I fear that the best I could pay you is a paltry sum, a pittance really, and not worthy of a pony of your skills or dedication. I do believe that you and Mister Quick will make a good team. But I fear this means going and facing more ponies just like Mister Blancmange.”
Miss Oddbody recoiled and then scooted around to get close to Copperquick again.
“As for the immediate future,” Twilight Velvet said in a smooth, calm voice, “Cadance is already assembling a team of lawyers that will be willing to challenge the courts with us and make history. She and I will continue to support the both of you for the time being and we will continue to try and make a dent in the system. We both want you to keep trying to get aid and make appeals while we prepare to go after Cielo del Este for foal support.”
“And what about this hospital bill?” Copperquick asked.
“Well, the law states that if the mother refuses to pay, or is otherwise unable to pay, the father is legally responsible for paying the bill. It is a punitive law, one created to discourage sexual promiscuity and it is meant to punish careless, deadbeat fathers.” Cadance’s lips pressed into a tight pucker and she shook her head.
Stepping forward, Twilight Velvet picked up where Cadance left off. “I don’t know if we can help you on that one, but we’re going to try. Right now, you are the primary caretaker of Esmeralda Verde, and such a bill would be detrimental to her care. You are already doing your part, so the punitive spirit of the law is already being satisfied.”
“Mister Quick, this is going to be brutal and unpleasant. Your character is going to be assaulted and torn down by ponies far more skilled than Mister Blancmange. You will no doubt end up in the newspapers. Miss Cielo del Este may even try to challenge you for legal custody of Esmeralda Verde once she is served with papers for foal support, if we can get a magistrate to go along with our plan.” Cadance’s mask fell away and she looked pained.
“Rest assured, we’ll be fighting with you every step of the way.” Twilight Velvet stepped forwards and stood beside Cadance. “As I have said, I am willing to die upon this hill. This is the fight that I feel will make me or break me as I try to make some much needed changes to the system. I know that I am asking a lot of you.”
“Well, Miss Oddbody, what do you say? This is our chance to be together and do something good.” Copperquick blinked and his eyes widened. “Say, do we get fancy codenames since we’re working for a princess?”
Without even a fraction of a second’s worth of hesitation, Cadance replied, “Agent Bun and Agent Bowler.”
“I keep thinking about what Mister Blancmange said yesterday. It has left me shaken. I must confess, he tore down my confidence.” The little pegasus mare bowed her head and let out sigh. “I am filled with doubt as to my ability to do my job, and I still feel bad for my breach of professional behaviour.”
“Oh, come off of it!” Cadance said to Miss Oddbody in a loud, booming voice. “Shining Armor was assigned to me as my personal protector and escort whenever I took to the streets of Canterlot. He was supposed to protect me from unsavoury sorts who wished to grope and ogle me. Truth be told, he groped and ogled me every chance he got, and I returned the favour. Everything worked out. Everything got smoothed over.”
“What is with the shouting?” A clarion voice asked from another room. “Did something go wrong?”
“No!” Cadance yelled into the other room, her voice echoing. She offered up a sheepish grin and looked around. In a much quieter voice, she explained, “That’s my boss. We’re all planning and plotting together, trying to figure out how to fix this mess.”
A second later, a tall white alicorn emerged, holding a cup of tea in her magic. Before anypony had a chance to respond, she said, “Don’t even think about bowing. Just don’t. I’ve had a rough week and I am just not in the mood for all of that annoying prostrating and fawning.”
“My boss,” Cadance said in a sheepish voice.
“Oh my, that is a pretty foal.” Princess Celestia moved forward, her golden shod hooves clattering upon the stone floor, and she got right up in Esmeralda’s face. “Oh, who is adorable! You are! Yes, you are!”
With Princess Celestia inches away from him, Copperquick remained frozen and did not move. He hardly even breathed. Rigid, he stared straight ahead, trying not to blink as Princess Celestia bumped snoots with his daughter. One of his ears betrayed him and began twitching, revealing his nervous energy.
Lifting her head, Princess Celestia looked Copperquick, who had started sweating, right in the eye. She studied him for a time, squinting, her eyes narrow, and then she pulled away with a snort that blew his graham cracker coloured mane back from his face. Turning her head, she looked at Cadance and asked, “What’s with him?”
Unable to stop herself, Cadance turned away and started laughing and so did Twilight Velvet. The two mares stood tittering, while Copperquick remained statuesque. Arching an eyebrow, Princess Celestia turned her authoritative stare upon Miss Oddbody, who shrank back from her monarch.
“I listened to quite a bit of your conversation with Copperquick,” Celestia admitted and her words caused Miss Oddbody to squeak. “It was the highlight of my miserable week. I like knowing that my little ponies somehow manage to find happiness together even in the most miserable of circumstances.”
Her face turning a bright, vivid red, Miss Oddbody nodded.
“If you will excuse me, I must see if I can find the biscotti I had stashed here. I could have swore I left a strategic biscotti reserve behind should I need it when I returned.” Turning about Princess Celestia strode away, sipping her tea and mumbling something to herself about pretty foals.
When the white alicorn vanished through the door, Cadance let out a sigh and Twilight Velvet, who had helped to consume part of the strategic biscotti reserve, looked a bit worried. The two mares shared a glance at one another, then both looked at Miss Oddbody and Copperquick. A four way glance was exchanged.
Looking down at his daughter, Copperquick let heave a sigh, and then he looked up at Cadance. “I’ll check and see about transferring into equine services. I owe my daughter some kind of future, and I want her to live in a better world. I’ll see what I can do about helping you bring about some changes. You’ve given me a chance, an opportunity, and I would be a fool to turn that down.”
Miss Oddbody, who was jittering with anxiety, scooted closer to Copperquick. In a soft, almost unheard whisper, she said, “The heart wants what it wants. I don’t know what the future will bring, but I know what I’m doing for now.”
“We have much to discuss, how about we go someplace a bit more pleasant to do so? Perhaps a tearoom or a coffee shop?” Cadance gave the group of ponies a hopeful look.
“I know a place!” Celestia shouted from the back room. “They have excellent biscotti!”
“Well, it is settled, then.” Twilight Velvet smiled and relaxed a bit, no longer worried about the biscotti. The middle aged mare focused her attention upon Miss Oddbody and gave the still anxious pegasus a reassuring smile. “I think the both of you are going to work well together. I am looking forwards to seeing what develops.”
“Every great thing we do starts off with a few timid, but brave steps.” Cadance reached out a wing and touched Esmeralda, who cooed at the princess’ soft touch. “I look forward to working with all of you.” Cadance turned and focused all of her attention upon Copperquick. She smiled, then turned away and stepped back.
“Buttermilk Oddbody…” Copperquick shifted on his hooves and squirmed a bit. “I look forwards to working with you.”
Her wings buzzing, the pegasus let out a squeal, rose into a hover, and then covered her face with her front hooves. “Please, just call me Buttermilk.” Overcome with emotion, she buzzed off and vanished through the same door where Princess Celestia had vanished. “I need a moment!”
Just as Copperquick started to relax a bit, Princess Celestia’s voice rang out, “You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d think that somepony got into my strategic biscotti reserves!”
i think this chapter come more as an answer to a post about what celestia is doing to fix this mess in the system... the answer? biscotti hunting
7655100
She is doing what she has always done. Find the right ponies for the job and then nudge them in the right direction so that the job is done.
Epilogue?
I don't want a damned epilogue.
You can stuff your epilogue.
Gimme a sequel.
/-/
Please?
There are no moon cookies, Baby Luna stole them all years ago.
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7655134
Um, maybe?
7655154
An epilogue will do fine for now.
I'm getting the feeling that the possible sequel will be a bit unpleasant, sad and possibly tragic.
At least things are looking up at the moment
7655100 As the right insightful author has said, belike: what more can one pony - even one imbued with angelic powers - do, but to use all the resources at her disposal? And while her available resources are vast, her available time to put them into action - or even to be aware of what problems they must be mustered against - is quite limited. Quite fortunate that she now has several others helping in this cause, that it is.
So, as far as Weedverse timing goes, I'm assuming this is well before Twilight Velvet showed up in TSSFFF and maybe a bit earlier, or so, as far as the start of TPRoS. Sound right?
7655218
The spring. Those happen in the fall.
Same year.
This is such an amazing story! I love it! I obsessively check for an update multiple times a day. Can we please have a sequel!?!
I hate this typo as I see it all over the place.
Ridged, in this context (I'm halfway sure) is being used as a verb, with object (note Copperquick).
In this case it would mean he is being shaped, marked, or even formed into a mass of ridges (meanings 7 & 8 in the provided link). almost like a Klingon's forehead, and is pronounced "rij-ed".
The word that is actually needed here is "rigid", which means Hard, Unyielding, or Inflexible, and is pronounced "rij-id".
Okay grammar nazi-ing done. I'm not sure if I'm glad that this story is ending, or not.
I still have a bunch of questions, so many things are up in the air, and I can't rightly say I actually enjoyed this story. The pacing felt off, characters were introduced and dropped like the temporary flaws of a Mary Sue, something about the patriarchal viewpoints in a country that quite literally has had a Demigoddess running it for at least a millennium feels subtly off, and it was so busy that I don't feel like the sheer shock of something so big was addressed properly. I'd point to Jim Butcher's "Changes" as a really good example of this sort of thing in literature, but it's not a fair comparison as we've had 11 novels to get acquainted with the father to be by that point, and there's a very different context behind the father's struggles there.
Ultimately, I don't like this story, but solely for lack of empathy on my part. It's well written, I've had to deal with bureaucracy for jobseekers so I know that feeling of jumping through unending pointless hoops to some extent, and it does further expand the changes that are happening in "The Weed World". I can appreciate it from an "intellectual" level (I am in no way an intellectual), but it just doesn't resonate with me, and the times it tries to, it feels manipulative in doing so.
You know, reading this, I'm feeling like Cadance is just a little too formal. Admittedly, it's not as if she's talking with ponies extremely close to her-Copper and Oddbody are practically strangers, after all, but she does seem a touch too formal. She's reading more like Celestia is, and-
Ah. There it is. That bit of silly playfulness that's always a delight to see in a depiction of Cadance.
I have nothing wrong with Cadance's speech here. In fact, I thoroughly approve of it. It just feels like a very nice bit of characterization on her and Shining's part.
This entire chapter was great, but if I'm being perfectly honest, Celestia made it. Especially with this;
Although, the epilogue has me worried. I am desperately wanting to see Esmerelda's mother's reaction to be sued for foal support, and yet it seems like the possibility that we won't get to see it is getting greater.
Please let us see it. It would be amazing.
7655257
Sometimes Google leaves a red line under something and I click it in a half aware state.
Team Bowling Buns.
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She won't do that then she'd be liable for the hospital bill again. Either way it'll cost her.
Sounds like a good old late night tea party shindig.
7655266
I would say to get a proofreader, or an editor, but I'm not sure only one person could keep up with your prodigious output. Maybe a team of six, all operating in round-the-clock shifts?
a lot of people depict celestia fawning over babies....
i approve of this XD
7655257
I didn't plan on a sprawling epic, but an introduction in the form of a short story. You can't just wrap up something this big in just a few chapters. But you can start it.
I'd like to do other episodic short stories. The sequel framework, as it stands, has Copperquick and Miss Oddbody going off to visit her parents over spring break. Buttermilk Oddbody could have a chance to churn a little butter and let her mane down. Cheese may be thrown. We shall see.
7655278
I have an editor. He does very, very well so far and I will not complain. Mistakes make it through even after we kill them by the thousands.
7655273
No it wouldn't. Punitive law.
I absolutely adore this story.
You are quick on your kudzi-damed way to becoming my favorite author.
Keep it up, and I hope for a sequel, or at least a satisfying epilogue, y'hear?
..Please?
7655294 If she sues him for the bill, the court surely wouldn't be blind to the facts that he can never hope to pay it and she is making bits hand over fist. Also only her name would have appeared on the bill in the first place as she left him out of the situation intentionally not even notifying him of their child.
At least I'd believe that's how the courts would see it here, not sure what there laws are in Equestria, or America for that matter.
7655347
She doesn't need to sue him for the bill. It came to him automatically.
Yes, I imagine that if the law literally assumes that the stallion pays the bill if the mare can't/won't, then that is exactly how it works until you get the law rewritten. It doesn't matter that he has custody.
7655349 What, she put his name on it?
7655284
I would say you've started it in too many chapters.
With a bit more thought, nearly all of my problems with this story's pacing come back to the beginning. I've only seen pacing like that first chapter a couple of times and it's always been in action stories where the pace starts out octane, and just gets faster until the end where everything crashes. "Waylander" and "Changes" being the stand-outs, both having either thematic connections with what's happening here, or being based on the same concept of sudden, scary, fatherhood, and struggling with the burdens it brings. Granted Harry Dresden's burdens with the idea of fatherhood are very, very different from what's shown here (it involves more kidnapping, and saving his daughter from being bloodily sacrificed to kill his grandfather), but they also run the "I NEED to do what's best for her" gamut of emotions.
I don't want to say "this is how I'd do it", or "I might've done it this way", or "this is how I've seen it done" because it always feel like I'm saying "This is how it has to be done", but I kinda wish we'd had more time to get to know Copperquick, before this happened, and it's what I would've done. This is a big change and because we've never had time to establish a baseline for CQ's emotional, and social interactions, it robs the sudden lifestyle change of something important and partially undoes any character growth that has occurred / is occurring / will occur here.
I think I might understand why you've written this the way you have, but I'm probably not going to follow this part of the "Weedverse" all too stringently.
7655381
This story didn't get my usual level of planning. Inspiration struck me and I just winged it, because sometimes, that just feels good.
It is definitely less polished than other stories, and I'll be the first to admit that.
It was supposed to be ten chapters long, but as I wrote it, since I didn't really do much to plan it, I realised that I had far too much story and not enough space. I actually left several chapters and events out, including a few scenes at the college. I realised that if I wasn't careful, I could churn out forty or fifty chapters with no real effort at all.
My biggest mistake with this story was trying to make it a short story. I dun goofed.
7655359 'Won't' doesn't wash with the courts.
7655225 Really? So this is just before Gosling popped up? Dangit! I need to edit my bet on who dies in VL... and fix my timeline notes.
7655300 those are the words of someone that hasn't chugged through either the Weed verse' or Chase verse' in full yet.
GET ON THAT GOOD SIR!
7655349 Seriously, I would've thought after a few weeks, at least her insurance company would've gotten the bill, if not her.
7655365 I think all she needed to do was list him as the father and then not pay.
7655347 Not sure about Equestria but in the US it varies from state to state whether or not either can pay isn't a matter the court will consider just who is legally responsible. Some states will consider both parties ability to pay some will not.. Then teh court can be approached to sieze or places liens against the person's current and future earnings
“Agent Bun and Agent Bowler.”
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I would have been surprising if Cadance was not involved in this. Competent Cadance, I love it.
And I would love to see said sequel, I'd like to see them meeting Buttermilk's parents.
7655408 I think if 2 ponies bring a foal into the world and have gone their separate ways, they are equally liable for costs, but in this case Copper wasn't even aware of Esmeralda until she was dumped on his doorstep, not even a proper hoof-over of the foal but 'dumped' which goes against her undoubtedly. Neither can say they 'won't' pay the bill and expect not to, you get served in a restaurant and say you won't pay for no good reason, you'll be washing dishes for a month. An easy determination of wealth assets and earnings will show which one (or both) parties can pay or can't pay and will be responsible for it. Even if at a later date the one unable does pick up his/her monetary standings then they can sort out remuneration between themselves irrelevant of prior proceedings.
This story reminds me of an old saying. "Sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven."
7655465 I don't see the relevance of any of the things you're saying? Are you describing what a more sensible law would do? Because the story isn't making this out as a sensible law at all.
7655485 It's totally relevant in any court and if that doesn't apply here then that is why it MUST be changed!!!! The law here is under a Diarchy, not a democratic government, if the law is out of whack then the sisters can get together and change it immediately for the good of their ponies.
They only serve those at night, and dark and secret rituals are involved.
Whoops!
Oh man, so the Lord Mayor (aka Gosling) and Prince Blueblood will be handling Blancmange. He's going to be a stain by the time everyone is done with him.
I suppose it makes sense that Twilight Velvet wouldn't just be working on her own for this. Given the injustices of the existing system, the princesses being behind her and pushing mostly just completes the puzzle.
Nice.
Uh oh.
The problem dear Copper, is sometimes we are made to suffer, so that greater injustices can be struck down. You and your baby's mother were brought together by Destiny so carve out a better future for Single Fathers everywhere. The lady who started Amber Alerts that have been successful, her daughter was kidnapped. There are times when Evil needs to happen to people, before great Justice can be done.
I totally forgot about this too. Good thing they didn't go any further than the kissing.