A short story about life and its lemons.
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- Member Since 9th Jun, 2012
- offline last seen Sep 19th, 2023
Wing Dancer
I like hanging stuff on cliffs. They dangle so nicely till the next chapter arrives.
Wing Dancer
Joined 9th Jun, 2012 ·
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I must admit, this is a very emotional story.
I feel really sorry for the kid...
I wasn't expecting actual lemons... I like the story though, well written and well explained, made me feel for that kid, not much about his sibling though...
815585
I admit wholeheartedly I forgot about her
I'm glad you liked it though, thanks for reading!
That was sad, but the last line made me laugh like a moron
815806
Hmm, really? Strange, I thought I was witty about the whole deal with lemon juice in his eyes being metaphorical and real... Still, guess it's okay to cheer up right after reading something sad
816053 so at the end he cried cus he got lemon juice init im just a abit coniffzled but its a lovely story tho
819018
The ending deffinetly needs a make over then
Seems I tried too much to make the reader guess whether the colt got sad because real lemons got to him, or the devastating news were the lemons that got squeezed to his face.
819168 i recon donkey kong should make a apperiance xd
I know this is an ancient story, but for the sake of it: the deceptively gentle reminiscing is a good touch, but there isn't a lot of substance here -- and, as another commenter pointed out, the sister gets a bit forgotten. Also, what's with ponies named things like Beatrice and Michael?
Mind you, I didn't see the ending coming.