Hello, Harmony

by EpicGuy

Pursuit of Happiness

Twilight levitated to her position a rusty crowbar, its use only to stand in the corner as a decoration. For all she knew this action would snap the poor thing in two, but it was vital that she had nothing that would attract attention to herself.

She lowered the flat end so that it rested in the tight space between the soft fur and cold metal. It tickled her skin, just the slightest bit. Then she yanked.

"Sweet Celestia!" she cried out of impulse, her voice mingling with the frustrated beeps of the anklet. Sharp pain rushed through her leg, and she dropped the crowbar onto the wooden floor. It bounced a few times, each bringing a lower sound that resembled ice shattering.

Her attention quickly turned from the crowbar, which after four bounces was still, to the blasted anklet. The crimson light blinked rapidly for a few long seconds, and she thought she could hear the distinguished sound of the police dashing to her home.

Slowly, like a gift from above, the anklet's light turned off, the sounds stopped. It released its strong grip with a hefty sigh, and the lime green light flickered on.

---

The sound of feet down the stairs rang into the night, and the outline of Spike could barely be seen in the half-light. Fatigue clouded his eyes and he barely had enough energy to stretch his tired arms, let alone get down the stairs in one piece.

"Sorry Twilight, but I got hungry during the night. Do we have any ice cream or did you eat it all yesterday?" he yawned.

He reached the bottom of the stairs and rubbed his eyes repeatedly. When he finally opened them, he wasn't expecting to see darkness and a missing unicorn.

Losing all sense of control and forgetting about the ice cream, Spike lunged at the nearest pile of assorted fabric patches and rummaged through them, looking for anything that could serve as a clue to where she could have gone. "Not very far, I hope," he thought, "she has her anklet on!"

After pawing through the fabric and finding nothing but a rusty needle and a long strand of thread, Spike hurried to the oak desk and scanned the objects on the surface- a sheet of instructions that didn't make a lick of sense, another needle, an old sewing machine, and a strip of pure white elastic. Nothing that could help him.

But the baby dragon couldn't help but wonder why Twilight Sparkle, usually studious and academic, would be sewing. The thought seemed odd, and he couldn't wrap his head around the possibility that she crafted something instead of going to Rarity.

He stifled a cry. It was as if Twilight had simply disappeared.

Spike was about to head back to bed with a weary heart when he spotted a small light, a fluorescent green, shining underneath the desk. He crouched down, knees bumping the cool floor, and reached for the object. Upon closer inspection he found it was a silver anklet, with two lights- one on, a crimson one off. He shook it to see if a note would pop out, or a message would play. Nothing.

But the anklet looked familiar...

"It's Twilight's!" Spike jumped for joy, hitting his head on the desk and making the wood rattle. "Yes yes yes-"

His eye caught another peculiar object hidden in the shadows below the desk- a rusty crowbar, one end tinted red. He crawled out from under the wood and stared in despair at the unlocked bracelet, one light staring back at him. "If her bracelet is here..." he began.

Spike paused, his mouth agape and eyes wide. In his surprise he dropped the item, and it landed with a metallic thud in a mess of embroidery materials.

"...Twilight?"

---

She dashed from rooftop to chimney with ease, leaving no tracks as she went. Her breathing was silent against the night, and her eyes stood out as a vivid lavender. The hat upon her head fluttered at the slightest touch of the breeze, yet it had not fallen in the stormy conditions of which she was in.

A singe raindrop caught her flowing eyelashes and she whisked it away with a single bat, sending it to the ground far below. Her eyes were focused on one thing in particular, and she wasn't about to let a tiny raindrop hinder her sight.

In the distance, lying in his back in the abandoned park, was a feeble pegasus colt with tiny wings strapped to his back. His pure white coat, smudged slightly with dirt from the current tussle, was easily seen, even in the middle of the storm. A large shadow loomed over him, the back turned towards the swiftly approaching Twilight Sparkle. As she got closer, the unicorn could clearly make out the conversation-

"Get away from me, you rapscallion!" the colt growled. She heard the sound of missed blows hitting the grass with a thud.

"Nice try." a female voice responded calmly. The repetitive sound of another short scuffle.

"W-why are you doing this? What did I do?" he asked.

Twilight didn't hear the mare's response, as one piece of fabric caught on a loose stone and her bare hooves slid loudly over the edge of one home, pieces of the accursed brick falling down with her. She tried to regain her stealth (And breath), then hopped onto the next rooftop with ease.

"That's not a valid reason, scamp!" the colt objected.

The unicorn neared the edge of the final shop before the park, and she sprang with the agility that was reminiscent of a cat onto the scene. She narrowed her eyes and landed gracefully on the back of the scoundrel that was tormenting the colt. "Step away, criminal scum!" she lowered her voice slightly, in case this pony was familiar with her speeches.

The mare huffed and slyly used Twilight's momentum to fling her from her back to the wet ground, where she rested beside the colt, who looked at her with surprise. "Who are you?" he whispered.

She did not answer.

The towering pegasus mare whipped drops of rain from her mane, sparkling pink as the light from a strike hit it. Her wings flared and her eyes shone a shadowed amaranth pink, the edges tipped with fury. "Oh look, a daring hero coming to short stuff here's rescue." she mocked. "Oh no, I'm so scared! I'm practically shivering!’”

"What's your name, hero?" she taunted, circling Twilight and the colt. She stopped at the tips of the unicorn's hooves and smiled.

Twilight obliged to use her hooves to talk; she reared her hind legs up and mustered all her strength in order to buck the mare's chest, making her scream and take a hard tumble. "Ack!" she exclaimed as her wings flapped on impulse and her neck hit a rock. A firework of pain shot through her body and she gasped for breath, leaving Twilight to scramble onto the moist dirt and help the colt up. He looked shaken, but not at all harmed.

"That was amazing!" He smiled and looked upwards to see her eyes. "Thank you so much, miss!"

---

The flutter of wings in shadows- lavender against jet black.

Quick, shallow inhales and sharp exhales.

Blood roaring in her ears, her hooves tingling.

Eyes focused on the masked crusader and her helpless victim.

Silent, she waited for the worst.

Then she spotted a young foal- a colt. His lithe body tilted upwards in horror.

She stood up swiftly, eyes narrowed.

"That's it- I'm getting the Royal Guard."

---

The pegasus attempted to rise again, but her attempts were in vain as Twilight bucked her once more in the head. The movement made a satisfying rattle, and she fell back into the long grass.

Twilight and the colt still stood in the pouring rain, the droplets coming much faster now, as she decided it would be best if she stayed with him until a guardian was found. In the meantime he had told her his name- Dapper Pines, or as his friends nicknamed him, Speedway- and that he actually lived on a stray cloud that usually floated between Cloudsdale and Ponyville.

He huffed and puffed, inhaling a few droplets but not caring. "So I've told you about me, miss... But who are you? And..." Pause. "Why did you save me?"

Twilight looked down at the colt and flattened a thick strand of his mane that had been spiked by the wind. "That, you do not need to know." she responded.

"But I want to thank you!" He stared at her with huge, somber eyes. "And I want to tell my parents about how you kicked that ugly mare's flank!"

She laughed, a deep, throaty rumble that came from the heart. "Just tell them Harmony kicked her sorry little flank, okay Speedway?"

"Okay, miss." He dipped his head- whether it was because of sadness or respect she was not sure.

The unicorn was about to smile at him, but there was a sudden bright light and the fast flapping of wings. From the storm came a fleet of pegasus warriors, some in gold armor and some bearing wings of a bat and the mannerisms of a nocturnal creature. Two held searchlights as big as a pony, and in the lead was a familiar lavender pegasus with swift wings and a determined expression.

"Where is the scoundrel, miss Cloudkicker?" a burly pegasus holding a light called above the thrum of the storm. The clash of thunder drowned out his last words.

"There! The masked crusader!" Cloudkicker exclaimed, pointing him in the direction of Twilight and Speedway. The guard passed the message onto the second stallion holding a light, and together they covered Twilight in a sudden beam of white.

"What are they doing?" Speedway shouted as the pegasi dived towards them. He squeezed her leg tightly and pushed his face into the fabric.

"I..." Twilight suddenly understood their intentions and she, with great emotional difficulty, shook her leg in order to get a confused colt off.

"Now what are you doing?" he asked. A single tear welled up in his eye. "You aren't... Leaving me, are you?"

"I'm sorry." was all she said, and she was off, bounding towards a dumpster and climbing up loose bricks to get to the roof. She heard the cries of Speedway and his hoofsteps follow close behind, and she turned around as she got her body on top of the building.

"No! Please don't leave me! You've my hero!" he shrieked, loud enough to be clearly heard over the squadron of pegasi drawing near.

"Speedway, it'll be okay." she assured him. She turned her attention to the Royal Guard, Cloudchaser in particular. The mare's expression as gravity pulled at her cheeks was nothing short of hilarious, but the look of rage was there just the same.

"And to you, fair maiden, the criminal is not I! Look behind your shoulder, for scoundrels trail your tail! But have no fear, for
the Purple Knight guards you every step of the way!" Twilight reared onto her hind legs and wiggled her front-most ones before leaping into the air, spreading her legs and dashing into the night.

Cloudchaser, stunned by the words of the Purple Knight, landed on the building with a blank expression. She looked back at the assembled stallions and pointed a hoof in the opposite direction as they caught up with her. "Charge, Royal Guards! Catch her and put her in the slammer!" she exclaimed as they stormed past her, a flurry of gray and white, cutting a path through the ever-falling rain.

She however, stayed behind and sat on the chilly, moist stone.

"That pony had a familiar marking on her inner flank..." she mused. "I couldn't imagine something as intricate as that." She blamed her poor eyesight for many things, but this was not one of them.

Suddenly, the mare brought a hoof to her chin as she remembered where she saw the marking- more specifically, a cutie mark.

"The Element of Magic... Twilight, I believe?" The name sounded awfully familiar...

As the answer dawned on the young pegasus, so did a long streak of lightning and another sheet of rain that coated her long eyelashes.

"...Twilight Sparkle?"

Comments

[Pencil_Doodle]

Ok, i just finished reading this. And i must say, i am really happy with what you did here, especially with the topic that i gave you.
Not much in the way of editing issues though, i only noticed 3 minor one:

- In chapter 1, during Twilight and Fluttershy's conversation, you typed "Please don't stop", when (in this context) it should have said "Please don't, stop". Note the comma
- In chapter 1 again, during Lyra and Bon Bon's conversation, you made it so that Bon Bon demanded Lyra to go, when it was Bon Bon who walked off. This makes little sense, since if you're demanding someone to leave, the person demanding it has no intention of going anywhere, and wants to stay. It should have been Lyra that walks off, or she at least disobey's, frustrates Bon Bon, and then Bon Bon walks off
- In chapter 3 (i think, it might of been 2) you misspelled "succeeded", you wrote "suceeded"

Those are pretty much the only errors i noticed though. Thank you for doing this, and i hope to see you around

P.s. The avatar and is fine, and in fact, very well fitting
Also, i love the open-ending

[EpicGuy]

926240

Thanks for all the input; I really appreciate it. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png

[mcb893]

Wait - is that it? I mean, this story's marked complete...

[EpicGuy]

930927>>930943

Care to explain? I'd be happy to help.

[mcb893]

931231
Well, maybe I'm crazy, but I thought it would have been something causing this hostile behaviour, but as far as I can see, Twilight becomes a vigilante causing bodily harm (including cracking a skull), then it ended with the pony she rescued remembering her name? I'm probably just stupid, but I'm not sure what the hell happened.

[mcb893]

931231
Well, maybe I'm crazy, but I thought it would have been something causing this hostile behaviour, but as far as I can see, Twilight becomes a vigilante causing bodily harm (including cracking a skull), then it ended with the pony she rescued remembering her name? I'm probably just stupid, but I'm not sure what the hell happened.

[mcb893]

931231
Well, maybe I'm crazy, but I thought it would have been something causing this hostile behaviour, but as far as I can see, Twilight becomes a vigilante causing bodily harm (including cracking a skull), then it ended with the pony she rescued remembering her name? I'm probably just stupid, but I'm not sure what the hell happened.

[EpicGuy]

931765

What bodily harm Twilight inflicts is totally up to the reader, but the pony at the end isn't the one she rescued. It's actually Choudchaser, who flew off to get the Royal Guard to catch Twilight. She noticed the cutie mark inside her thigh and stopped to ponder if she remembered who it belonged to. The colt she rescued was still trying to get onto the roof.

Hope this helped. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png

[Brony9216]

Despite the label, this is clearly incomplete. If your only goal was to show why Twilight became a vigilante/superhero, you need to have had her first mission solve the problem presented earlier in the story. As it is, this story is really unsatisfying, as readers have been presented with a setup problem with no conclusion. The narrative in this story is not one that can be left open-ended, despite what others may say. You have not resolved the hook sufficiently, if at all. What should have been the initial incident (Twilight becoming a superhero) is instead written as the climax of the story.

What seems to have happened is that you tried to write a story about why Twilight would become a superhero, but the hook you wrote tells the reader that the story is about why Twilight's friends are acting so strangely.