• Member Since 23rd Sep, 2015
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

HiddenMaster


Who am I? Does it really matter? Probably not. Just sit back and enjoy stories drawn from the eldritch depths of a disturbed mind with a love for pastel colored ponies.

Comments ( 15 )

Huh interesting turn of events. Did you intentionally or originally planned to make Thorax that way or something that was on a whim? I mean I am still interested to see how goes,but make him/her too different from their personality/traits they might as well an entirely different character. As for Chrysalis, yeah I agree that she stands out more when given depth, while still mantaining her villianous demeaner.

7515405 My original rough draft had barely half the words this one has and Thorax, as I had him originally written, most just said things like "Wut?", "Wait", and "you're not going to murder my face?"

Originally, Chrysalis took absolute center stage and Thorax was more or less a prop for jokes. It was only in the rewrites that he started to look like he did, as well as me characterizing him to fit the Changelings of my setting who are all genetically female despite shape shifting abilities.

Additionally, Thorax doesn't exactly have much of a personality as of yet, and is just bare bones in the show. Right now his personality is the "good Changeling", with a bit of meekness and timidness alongside it. We know practically nothing of his personality, interest, quirks, what makes him happy, sad, drives him into a rage, etc.


Also, I really love the idea of Twilight publishing a paper on Changeling biology that is poured over by Equestrian academics and scholars only to later find out she was completely wrong about Changeling genders and general biology and subsequently having a minor meltdown

Wow, that started out funny, then ended rather depressing. Poor lings...

The optimist in me hopes that they'll find a way to coexist... And, wait, uh, is Chryssie masquerading as Shining still? Since its apparently a sequel to that other fic... But then this'd have to harken before chapter two? And if not, then shining regained his love. I'm so confused. :twilightoops:

7516331 Yeah...if I hadn't written it, it would confuse me too.::derpytongue2:: Basically, this story only follows the first chapter to a Friendly Letter from Chrysalis. The second chapter has no relevance, as it takes place in an entirely different setting despite using the same characters.

If it helps, imagine the second chapter as non-canonical to the first, and taking place in an entirely different world.

Normally, people would make different stories for something like that, but considering how similar in premise both stories were and in letter form no less, albeit with massively different tones and outcomes, I decided to just add the second chapter onto A Friendly Letter from Chrysalis rather than let it have its own story.

Dear god If I make a large number of stories in this verse this is going to get complicated. Especially if I bring in multidimensional travel. :twilightoops:

7516354 Ah, I see. That clears things up a bit. Also, doesn't the crystal heart spread unattached all over the place?

7516424 Um, could you clarify? I'm not sure what you're asking here. I mean, yes, the Crystal Heart is strong and active negating most of the homicidal weather outside and to the north of the empire while also having a passive effect that subtly increases and causes ponies to fall in love even if they have no intention to.

Just a bit more of that lovely mind altering magic Equestrians are so proud of despite horrifying implications.

D48

7516531 I think the basic question boils down to "is it an infinite changeling feeder?" After all, if changelings inevitably drain ponies dry in spite of the evidence to the contrary with Shining Armor, feeding from the heart might let them get around that because the powerful artifact can insulate the individuals from each other.

7516622 With regards to Shining Armor, Chrysalis had other...plans for him that were not compatible with a typical feeding that were mentioned in more depth in A Friendly Letter from Chrysalis. Granted, she did sample, but Chrysi is the type to savor this particular type of love, rather than devour it. The point here being that she didn't take enough love to permanently harm Shining.

As for the Crystal Heart being an infinite Changeling feeder...

Here's what I have to say on it. This is unknown territory. Changelings are relatively new to Equestria, and were not around during Sombra's time or even further back. None have ever actually tried to feed on the heart, so no one actually knows if it's even possible.

Well.. I like Thorax's character quite a bit, and Chrysalis comes across well too. It kinda lost me with the We drain people forever./We're basically permanent emotional poison. angle, though. So basically, it's hopeless, and you shouldn't bother trying. Friendship!

7517104 Eh, it's only the first chapter. I've only got the vaguest general idea where I might take this, but trust me when I say that I've never been one for grim dark fics without hope, unless they're a dark comedy or satire, but in those case I'm there for the jokes and not much else.

Also, Chrysalis is a rather opinionated queen. Just throwing that out there.

Anyway, glad you liked my characterization, at least. I had fun there, even if in the process this stopped being a pure comedy because of them.

7516531 Well, they could draw on that magic, at least a bit. And, wait, if that second chapter is non canon to this, then Shining is his own pony and he most decidedly recovered from getting his love drained. :rainbowhuh:

7519462 I'm definitely going to have to address this in a future chapter because this is the second question in the past two days, but suffice it to say, Chrysalis didn't noticeably drain Shining of his love because she needed him to be a healthy functioning individual and not an emotionally numb husk. Furthermore, again something else I'll address in future chapters, Shining had a lot of love for Cadence, and Chrysalis' restrained feeding didn't put a dent in it.

The problem right now is that this is the first chapter, so a lot of stuff isn't explained simply because it's not relevant at this point in time.

It's kind of similar to how here was no reason to discuss the true cause of Nightmare Moon in this chapter, despite it being a rather interesting origin (if you're wondering, the whole Nightmare Moon incident was caused when Luna saw her sister literally fuck/eat/serenade an anatomically accurate effeminate stallion made of a sixteen layer cake and the resulting trauma led to a minor psychosis that soon escalated into Nightmare Moon)

"We're parasites," Chrysalis said, a strange mixture of sadness and anger in her tone. "Forever dependent on the love of others to survive. Maybe in another world it would be possible, but here? It's like a cruel joke. We can't coexist, Thorax, because once we take love, any love, it doesn't come back!" she spat.

I really liked this bit. This is one thing I find distinctly annoying about the way the vast, vast majority of stories write changelings: they really just want to actually say "life energy" or "magic" or "blood" every time they say love, but that's just not what the word means. What they eat is an emotion, a feeling, not a half-assed euphemism for sucking the life out of someone. What the real consequences of specifically eating all the affection out of someone would actually be is basically never explored in any meaningful way. It's nice to see that actually given some kind of real attention.

7616741 That was actually one of the reason I wrote it this way. No matter how you look at it, love isn't the same as life force or magic or blood and Changelings aren't vampires (no matter an annoying tendency to portray Changelings like them in the fandom). Additionally, if love was a fully replenishable thing, it never made sense to me that Changelings would be a predatory species-it would make far more sense for them to be in an open symbiotic relationship with ponies/other creatures. Would certainly be safer for them than having to hide their appearances.

7616815
That's exactly the thing, really. A unique and unusual lifestyle like that should bring with itself unique and unusual consequences as a result of the plain strange way they support themselves. I've said in a few places that by all rights, changelings should really be the most pleasant and enjoyable creatures to be around that you can imagine, because there is no better or easier way to receive love than to simply be lovable. That clearly isn't the case and actually reflecting that fact in some manner will be going a long way towards making this stand out and be interesting, once you get around to continuing it.

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