Comes a Hunter
For various reasons, I've decided to write a completely nonsensical, illogical, plotless, random, stupid multicrossover. Well, more like a parody of nonsensical, illogical, plotless, random, stupid multicrossovers.
I apologize for nothing. 
Dear Princess Twilight,
There's a problem in the human world. I might have accidentally sort of broken reality. Our Twilight is doing science stuff to try to figure out what's going on. I'm hoping you could see if maybe there's some magical help you might be able to offer.
By the way, I have my unicorn magic back. I'm still human, but I can use my magic. So at least that's a silver lining?
If you're not busy, please help. Things are getting really, really weird over here.
Your friend,
Sunset Shimmer
The long, flexible legs of the odd ball-shaped robot became flying messes of tangled shrapnel as the robot itself exploded. Sunset turned to her left and fired off a second fiery blast from her hand, striking another robot and reducing it to scrap.
"LOOK OUT!" Rainbow Dash yelled. Sunset ducked and rolled to her left as a bomb fell where she had been standing and exploded, spraying chunks of pavement. Sunset hastily conjured a shield spell and braced herself. She glanced up and saw Rainbow kick a robot bee in the face, then spin around and axe-kick it to the ground, where it smashed into a million bits.
The normally quiet suburb where most Canterlot High students lived had turned into a scene of absolute chaos and confusion. Dozens of bizarre robots were running wild in the city; some of them were animal-shaped and behaved mostly like the animals they appeared to be—except for bomb-dropping bees or bizarre ostriches which launched their buzzsaw-like heads at random passersby. Sunset had been running around for the past hour, using her newly-restored magic to take out as many of the weird robotic invaders as she could; her friends had all ponied up at around the same time her magic had come back, and were helping however they could. Rainbow Dash was flying around attacking the flying robots, Applejack was just plain beating the crap out of anything that tried to attack her, and the others were keeping people inside and safe as best they could.
A high-pitched whine from behind Sunset reminded her of the other strange thing that had shown up—right around the same time everything else had gone to hell, actually—and told her she needed to duck and cover quickly. Not that she needed much convincing, as a bright red car had just roared around the corner and was bearing down on her. Driving the car was a blue robot with a red visor for a face; a huge, futuristic cannon was mounted to the hood of the car.
Sunset teleported six feet to her left, pressing her back flat against the wall of the nearest building, and watched as a massive ball of shining plasma blazed toward the robot car. The driver exploded violently, screeching electronically as bits of his machine body sprayed in every direction; his head spun to a stop at Sunset's feet, the visor shattered and revealing blinking lights and seared electronics. The car itself was still moving, but smoke and sparks were pouring from its damaged undercarriage.
Another ball of plasma hit the car, and it collapsed in a pile of mangled scrap, a single wheel bouncing merrily away.
Heavy steel boots thudded to the pavement beside Sunset. "Are you alright?" a gentle voice asked.
Sunset nodded. "Where the hell are these things coming from?" she asked.
"My world," her rescuer said with a weary sigh. "I'm sorry. None of this is your problem. You've got your own problems..."
Sunset laid a hand on the cold blue armor covering his shoulder and offered him a smile. "It isn't your fault, X. It's mine." She sighed, looking out at the scrap-strewn streets. "I caused all this."
X's green eyes regarded her calmly. "Can you still fight?" he asked.
Sunset grimaced. "I think so," she said. "It's been a long time since I had my magic, and I'm not used to using it for things like this." She winced at a nearby crash and a loud yell. "But my friends need me."
X smiled. "Let's go."
* * * * *
Two hours later, everything had mostly calmed down, and Sunset, her friends, and X had regrouped at Canterlot High. In the school foyer, they found Principal Celestia waiting for them...along with a lavender alicorn who came up to about Sunset's chest.
"Twilight?" Applejack asked. "That you?"
"Yes," Princess Twilight Sparkle said. "I just got here. Nobody was around outside, so I came into the school. Principal Celestia's been telling me about what's been going on." She glanced over the group, then spotted X. She blinked as she studied him. "You're...not from this world, are you?"
X shook his head. "No, and I get the feeling you're not either."
Twilight raised a hoof and made a 'so-so' gesture. "My world and this world are directly connected parallels of each other," she said.
"Ah," X said. "My name is X. I'm...not human." His X-Buster shifted, rearranged, and morphed, becoming a white hand with a heavy blue gauntlet covering the arm above it.
Twilight's eyes widened. "I see," she said. She shook her head. "Sunset, what happened here?"
"Yeah, Sunset. Tell her all about it," Rainbow said with a smirk.
Sunset covered her face with her hands.
"Rainbow Dash, be nice," Fluttershy chided, laying a supportive hand on Sunset's shoulder. "It's not your fault," she said soothingly. "You didn't do anything wrong."
Sunset sighed. "Well, if you're gonna help us, you...you have to know," she said. "Just...follow me." She looked around at everyone, her face flushing. "JUST Twilight," she said. "The rest of you stay here. This is embarrassing enough without an audience."
Twilight raised an eyebrow at that.
"Okay, sugarcube," Applejack said. "We'll sit tight out here. We could use a minute an' a cold drink anyhow."
"I'll unlock the soda machine," Celestia said. As the girls cheered at the prospect of free drinks, Sunset led Twilight through the halls.
"Sci-Twi—I mean, the other Twilight—has taken over one of the science labs," Sunset said.
"Sci-Twi?" Twilight asked.
"It's...kind of her nickname," Sunset said. "Rainbow Dash started it, and it caught on." She smiled. "She likes it, actually. She's never had a nickname before."
"Well, it's not a bad one," Twilight said with a giggle. Sobering up, she asked, "Seriously though, in your letter, you said you broke reality. How'd you...?"
Sunset coughed, her face flaming red. "You'll...you'll see it in a minute," she said. She stopped in front of a wooden classroom door and knocked. "Twilight? The princess is here."
The door lock clicked, and the human version of Twilight Sparkle opened the door, looking at them with bleary eyes from behind smudged glasses. She blinked twice as she beheld her counterpart. Her jaw dropped. "Whaaaa...?"
"This is my real form," Princess Twilight said. "Whatever's going on here screwed up the portal."
Sci-Twi shook her head, then stepped back. "Well, I hope you can figure it out," she said. Sunset and Twilight entered; Sci-Twi locked the door again behind them. "I just ran another scan on it. It's...it's still surging."
"Surging?" Twilight asked, tilting her head and cocking an ear.
Sunset led Twilight over to a table in the center of the room, where three sheets of lead shielding had been placed around an object which sat on a wire stand, several sensor leads attached to it. It was about ten inches long, thick, and a dusky purple in color, wider at one end, with a somewhat knobbly, translucent tip. The tip was glowing brightly; wisps of lavender and yellow magic swirled around it.
Twilight frowned as she studied the object. "What...what is it?"
Sunset ducked her head. Sci-Twi adjusted her glasses as she passed a box of latex gloves to her counterpart. Twilight glanced at the gloves, looked up at Sci-Twi sheepishly, and raised a hoof.
Sci-Twi grimaced, but put the gloves away. "Cover your hooves with something," she said. "You really don't want to touch that thing."
Twilight's brow creased. "Is it...dangerous?"
"No, just gross," Sci-Twi said, giving Sunset a sour look. Sunset's flush deepened.
"Gross?" Twilight asked, blinking. She studied the object again. Aside from the glowing thing surrounded in wisps of magic, it seemed innocuous enough, aside from being shaped vaguely like...
No, not vaguely like. Exactly like...
Twilight shook her head and stared at Sunset, flicking an ear. "Is...is that a..." She gulped. "Sunset, is that a dildo?!"
Sunset looked away.
Sci-Twi coughed. "Tell her exactly how you broke the universe, Sunset."
* * * * *
"Oh God...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhh...!"
Sunset panted, falling flat against the mattress, her entire body flushed, gasping for breath.
As her breathing slowed, she heard an embarrassed-sounding cough. "Well," a quiet voice said, "that...wasn't something I ever expected to see."
Sunset blinked, then looked up slowly.
Green eyes set in a pale, youthful, male face looked back at her above a sheepish smile. The face was framed by a blue metal helmet.
Sunset screamed.
* * * * *
Princess Twilight's left eye and right ear twitched. "You...broke the universe...with a dildo."
Sunset's face burned a deeper shade of red than her hair. "Look, I didn't know, okay? I mean, I bought it on the Internet! From, you know, a normal...place..."
Princess Twilight facehoofed. "For Celestia's sake..."
"Don't drag her into this, you're making it weird!"
"IT'S ALREADY WEIRD!"
"Will you two please stop yelling at each other?" Sci-Twi yelled, taking off her glasses and rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Look, Other-Me...does it really matter how it happened? Isn't the important part fixing it?"
Princess Twilight sighed. "Well, that's true, but in order to understand just how this all happened and how severe the damage is, I do need..." Her cheeks colored. "Details."
"Oh God," Sunset moaned, burying her face in her hands.
Princess Twilight coughed and turned to her. "How many times, Sunset?"
Sunset peered at her between her fingers. "Umm...at...at least once a night...for a little over a week," she whimpered.
Princess Twilight's face turned as dark as Sunset's. "Seriously?"
"I WAS HORNY, OKAY?"
Sci-Twi cleared her throat. "Apparently, whenever Sunset experiences an orgasm, she...leaks."
Princess Twilight and Sunset both stared at her. Now it was Sci-Twi's turn to blush. "MAGIC! She leaks MAGIC!"
Sunset cleared her throat. "Y-yes," she said. "We've figured out that the, umm...jewel..thingy..." She grimaced. "It's some kind of magic receptor, and I've been, err...charging it up..."
Twilight sighed. "Well, I can tell just by looking at it that it's radiating powerful chaos magic, but what's something with that kind of power even doing in this world...?"
* * * * *
"Discord? Are you alright? You've been grimacing and shuddering suddenly a lot lately."
Discord pasted a sickly grimace on his face. "Oh, I don't want to burden you with my little problems..."
Fluttershy placed a hoof on his shoulder and smiled tenderly. "We're friends, Discord. Whatever's bothering you, I'd be happy to help."
Discord smiled. "It's...well..." He coughed. "I misplaced one of my testicles a while back, and I've been getting these funny twinges down there lately...I think someone might have found it."
Fluttershy blinked, her irises shrinking to pinpricks. Her gaze reflexively flickered to Discord's lower end, then back up. "I...I'm sorry," she said. "Did...did you say you lost your testicle?" That last word was squeaked out in a half-whisper, half-mouse-noise.
Discord shrugged. "It's not that big a deal," he said. "I have several."
"HOW DO YOU JUST...JUST LOSE A...A...A THAT?!" Fluttershy's eyes widened. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to—I—" She paused, cleared her throat, then calmly continued, "It...doesn't seem like that's the sort of thing you could just misplace..."
Discord waved his eagle claw dismissively. "Spirit of chaos, body works differently than yours, sometimes these things just happen."
Fluttershy blinked twice, then shook her head. "I-if you say so," she hedged. "W-well...aren't you worried about g-getting it, um...back?"
Discord shrugged. "Not especially," he said. "It's not really worth the trouble. It just...tickles something fierce, is all." He smiled gamely. "Shall I brew a fresh pot?"
* * * * *
"I'm more interested in how a powerful magical artifact ended up embedded in a sex toy," Sci-Twi said sourly.
"That's a really good question that I'd like to get an answer to myself," Sunset said. "But right now, we need to figure out how to turn it off."
Twilight smirked. "Well, we already know how it got turned on."
"Ha ha," Sunset said, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, Twilight. How the heck do we stop this thing?"
Twilight shook her head. "I'll have to run some tests," she said. "Until I've thoroughly probed it—"
Sci-Twi made a strangled, choking noise.
"—and measured its wavelength and emission frequencies—"
Sunset spluttered.
Twilight glared at both of them. "I WILL FIGURE OUT HOW TO SHUT IT OFF," she said loudly, flicking an ear in irritation. "Now...what exactly is the damage? I mean, how bad is it?"
"Well..."
The ground shook with the force of a nearby explosion, staggering them. Sunset reflexively covered her face with her arm; looking out the window, she saw the top of a three-story building erupt into a cloud of smoke and debris. "What now?!" she moaned.
Twilight's eyes widened. "You, uhh...you go find out what that was," she said. "I'll stay here with Sci-Twi and work on the dildo."
Shooting her a dirty look, Sunset ran for the door and unlocked it. Her friends and X were already waiting on the other side, X's right arm already morphing into his X-Buster. "Be ready for anything," he warned.
Sunset nodded. "We'll go check out that explosion," she said. "Fluttershy, stay here and fill Twilight in on exactly what's been going on. The rest of you, spread out. Let's go!"
* * * * *
Loud peals of laughter rang out over the city, and another explosion shook an apartment building, knocking a fire escape loose; it tore free of its bolts and crashed to the ground with a loud metallic screech.
Sunset shaded her eyes and squinted. "There!" she said, pointing at a fast-moving figure which zoomed through the skies.
"What the—" X narrowed his eyes, which clicked and whirred with internal machinery. "It's...some sort of creature? No...a man in a costume. Or a robot? I'm having difficulty scanning—LOOK OUT!" X tackled Sunset to the ground; Sunset hastily cast a shield bubble around them.
A small, spherical orange bomb hit the pavement nearby, flashed yellow twice, and exploded, melting the stone and leaving a glowing hot crater almost a meter wide.
"Ooooh, aren't you a bad little witch," a high voice sneered. With a high-pitched whine of powerful VTL engines, a bat-shaped steel glider descended to just above street level. Standing atop it was a muscular man in a skintight green costume, over which he wore a purple tunic, boots, gloves, and a long-tailed stocking cap. His face was concealed by a ghoulish mask with mad yellow eyes and long, pointed ears. He reached into a satchel that hung at his hip. "I've got a special treat for you..."
Something latched onto the pumpkin-shaped bomb he pulled out, yanked it out of his hand, and threw it high into the air, where it exploded harmlessly. Even as the mad bomber turned in shock, tight, sticky strands that resembled dense spider webs wound around him and his glider, slamming him to the ground. The glider sputtered and whined as its engines choked upon impact.
A dark figure dropped into their midst. Short and lithe, he was dressed from head to toe in a black bodysuit with red trim on the arms, upper torso, and head. He turned slightly, regarding X and Sunset through the large, opaque white eyes of his mask. "Sorry, just playing through," he said in a youthful voice.
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The coverart made me instinctively want to downvote this, but then I remembered who this is from.
So I'm kind of stuck on a decision right now.
Oh gods. *Clicks on the first chapter.*
7319971 It's a parody of garbage crossovers.
Just read it.
Now I know to hit the favorite button.
Wait, I took a closer look at the coverart and found something off.
Why is Trunks' hair styled like he's in Super Saiyan when it's still in its natural color?
7319976 A parody of nonsensical crossovers? You know that means about eleventy-seven people will be egging you to include their favorite fictional characters, right?
7320005 He's in mid-transformation; that happened once or twice in the show.
7320007 Oh, I know. And this time, I actually might!
Throughout the chapter, I was torn between laughing out loud and screaming "What the fuck?"
...which was oddly painful as I'm trying to be quiet right now.
7320012 Okay, A) Were you partially inspired by the mass crossover fanfic turned video game called Project X Zone, and
B) There's gotta be an obligatory Stan Lee cameo.
7320012 yea I liked it and favorite it
7320012 actually he is swinging a sword there for it looks like a partial transformation
7320027 A) yes, B) not a chance :P
New challengers enter an already crowded battlefield. Who is this mad bomber? Who is this fast-talking webslinger? And can the Twilights repair the damage to the universe before even more universes get involved in the chaos?
Find out, next time on DISCORD BALL THREE.
I will shower you with all the love if you include Ash Williams, or someone from either Thomas and Friends, Fire Emblem, or Xenoblade in this.
This is awesome! So many potential crossovers, so little time. Spider-Man already, that scores some points. I'd like to see where this parody goes.
If we are allowed to make requests, I hope Sonic the Hedgehog appears eventually, as you might have already guessed by my name.
Nor should you.
Now, let's see just how deep this rabbit hole is...
Discord lost a... and Sunset apparently found...
What . . . the . . . fuck. 
7320007
Now there's an idea. MythrilMoth, you should totally add [insert character] from [insert franchise].
There are no stops on the insanity train! CHOO CHOO!
First request - Etna!
7320005 Did you know Trunks was the last Z fighter to get his power level read with a Scouter?
So... Sunset's been messin' 'round with an item imbued with chaos magic? Well, I would be surprised if it didn't cause Instrumentality.
Ha!
sounds like a penis
Well... that make my childishness slightly less funny
Huh so the black Spiderman Miles Morales aka Kid Arachnid/Tangled Web appears. This shall be fun. But why is he fighting the Costume Green Goblin? That's ASM Peter's Norman Osborn, Miles and Ultimate Peter are the Ultimate Green Goblin who's a hulked out goblin monster like Manspider and Vampire Bat Mobius are monsters.
As a guy who loves crossovers, I gotta say, you parody this beautifully.
You've got my attention.
On a completely unrelated note, would you look at the time!
2new1.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Played+overwatch+with+some+friends+looked+at+enemy+team+composition+_128cc3e83d9e01c71b4003240b14d977.jpg
I like it but I think it needs more Archer specifically this Archer http://typemoon.wikia.com/wiki/Archer_(Fate/stay_night)
Alright, at first I was: Nice a little multiverse crossover packing some action and some silliness for fun.
But when arrive to the reason of the situation I was: Whaaaa??!
Oh my Gaaawd 
.
Even after I read so many of your fics, you still manage to surprise me. Instant like.
Also if you're open to character suggestion, may I recommand Dante from Devil May Cry.
And unrelated to the story. Why is the font white instead of grey? I've been seeing this a couple of times now and it doesn't seem to coming from the Stylish module.
Now for those four magic words.
Here we go again!
Add something from RWBY, please?
7320069 Ash is a can-do and I just might, the rest are a no-go due to unfamiliarity. Sorry!
7320076 We'll see.
7320094 Etna! And maybe also Flonne.
7320262 Did you miss the part where this is a "dimensions all screwed up" kind of crossover?
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
7320763
7320806
7321133 No can do on those, sorry. Lack of familiarity with the source material. (Don't try to sell it/link Wiki pages, please. If I can't write them naturally from direct experience, I'm not adding them.)
... When I read the word 'Hunter', Half Life 2's Hunter came to mind.
Could that happen in this fic, at some point?
7321228 I have never played Half-Life, so no.
7321242
Ah. Okay.
Well, looks like I've stumbled on another place where the inmates are running the asylum now. Nyooh hooh hooh hooh, I love it!
I took a moment to notice people were offering suggestions for later appearances, and while I don't know if you're still doing that, I'd like to throw in my own two cents... I don't know if you've seen Assassination Classroom, but throwing in the teacher, Korosensei, would be something. Not that I'm forcing it, just a minor suggestion.
7321228
I was actually expecting Samus Aran, but a maverick hunter is fine too.
7321148
Any chance you're familiar with Samus Aran from the Metroid games?
If not then Terra or Locke from FF6.
Well, this should be either painful or lots of fun. Any chance of anyone from Code: Lyoko making an appearance?
I can't stop freaking smiling,
, ohh and green goblin, this will be interesting.
7321409 I am familiar with all of the above. I think Samus would be redundant and frankly I'm not a big fan of Metroid's expanded lore, so I don't want to drag her baggage into the thing. As for the FF6 characters...if I add any Final Fantasy characters, they'll be from 7 or 10. Or Tactics/Advance.
7321476 Doubt it, because that'd lead to people nagging me about Code Lyocolt.
Bad Sunset, Bad. There are many people that well help you with your problem
I guess I don't need to continue to write my EQG crossover and just focase on my others storys if you are writeing this
PS great start so far...
Jeezuz, have not laughed this hard in a while. Please – dear Goddess please – Ryuko Matoi and Senketsu from Kill la Kill
7321726 Hmmm...maybe.
7321148 Crap. You oughta play those games, cause they're really good. And Thomas is awesome because it was FiM before FiM existed.
7321944 I tried to get into Fire Emblem but just couldn't, I avoid anything with "Xeno" in the title for reasons, and I haven't watched Thomas the Tank Engine since I was nine.
Let's see, who would fit in a setting like this...
Vriska Serket?
Phoenix Wright?
Klonoa?
Luigi?
Yu Narukami?
Dust?
Eh, your call.
Amazing multi-crossover?
Hilarious comedy?
Clever twists?
Based MythrilMoth...
Oh mothie, you never cease to amuse me. After looking at the cover art. I am at a lost on the 2 children in the lower right corner.
7322038 Xenoblade is the greatest JRPG. Ever. Period. Just for the story alone, to say nothing of every other facet of the game.
Oh yeah, and a Yu-Gi-Oh! rep *coughBlackMagicianGirlBestWaifu* will earn you 100 internet hugs.
7321148
Fair enough. It was just the first thing that came to mind when Hunters were mentioned. Would've been interesting to see, tho. I would, by the way, recommend you watch it, because it is an excellent series. In terms of other suggestions, have you read the Inheritance Cycle (Eragon etc.) or the various things by Ari Bach (Valhalla, Ragnarök and Gudskri)? because either series might have interesting characters to add.
Down voting (not actually) because there's no Captain Jack Harkness...
...
...
Please put Captain Jack
Well... I never thought the day would come where I'd fav a nonsensical crossover that just piles lots and lots of lore into one single narrative. But here-here, I'm doing that right now. You gave me a plate or 'roaches and I'me eating it with gusto. Congrats, Moth. Congrats.
And since I don't want to be left out of the party, I wanna suggest some characters too:
Link, from The Legend of Zelda.
The TMNT (all four of them, because breaking them up would be just wrong).
Captain Planet (for the wtf factor).
Danny Phantom.
You had better deliver on your cover art's promise of SKULL JOKES!