bigt30
Joined 8th Oct, 2011 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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What? I don't even-
if you guys can tell me what you think or rating so i know if its good for my frist fanfic or not please
YAY Granny smith is dead.
This was very good, but, it's not violent enough, you should make a sequel where Smarty Pants does even more horrible things aside from murder.
Good day
Something has gone horribly wrong format-wise. I suggest going through it and making the dialogue stay on the same line so there aren't random spaces in the middle.
Grammatically, this story has many faults and errors that could easily be corrected by a simple word processing program. Perhaps having another person go over the story so you get another perspective will improve it.
Love, DawnFade
Plus: Granny Smith is gone. And Smarty Pants is alive.
Minus: There's a lot of errors here. It needs a polish but has a fair premise.
Writing format is very, very off...
Grammar could use a lot of work as well...
I have to ask, do you have a proofreader? this can help avoid a lot of simple problems.
I won't mark this with a down vote because I do like where it's going! Please continue!
The formatting is very very broken.
Separately, there are lots of typos.
Otherwise it's not horrible.
Why is this in clop cumflation theres not even a sex tag on cover page.
It has potential.
Grammar and spelling could use some work though.
There is definitely room for a chapter 2 or sequel.
One important note is Princess Celestia. It is part of her name so must be capitalized.
Was hoping for a little more gore but good gore is hard to come by.
I think you put this in the wrong folder and the wrong group. You need to at least have a sex tag if you are going to be in "warning: cum inflation, belly bulging, huge insertion, gangbanging, etc. ahead".
7677484
i don't remember putting it in any group
10293432
This the 1st time u been on here in 4 years?