Life is going well for Gordon. Two years ago he won the jackpot on the lottery and decided to build his dream home in the Yorkshire countryside. 6 months after moving in, he wakes up one day and realises that either the hills have moved, or he has.
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I hate this story. This version of Equestria needs multiple hydrogen bombs dropped on it. Then Skynet and its Machine Army need to annihilate whatever survives. Then the Imperium of Man need to drop by and sign an order for Exterminatus. Then the planet needs to be sucked into a Hellmouth.
10541262
This seems to be a... recurring theme with this author. At least other stories from this author also depict xenophobic ponies and/or human humiliation of some kind.
10541262
Yeah, I dont get just how unnecessary the arguments are.
10541276
Is he ever going to try something new that doesn't involve xenophobia, humiliation and yelling?
10541276
I don't mind pony stories with a little xenophobia and such so long as the ponies cotton on and realize their mistakes, come around, etc -- but this story is... it feels like a blatant parody of something/ a parody of itself? Let's amp up everything bad to derp stupid levels?
Damn...such xenophobia...such pain...
I really hope Gordon NEVER forgives them. Something like this can cause emotional AND mental scarring.
If he is actually still alive, I really, REALLY hope you have him seek asylum in Trottingham, or, hell, even the Griffish Isles.
10541295
If the aim was for make the cast absolutely irredeemable I think the author did a swell job though. With the tension in the story so absurdly high with no release and the characters turned into something so unlikable it will be very hard to make them look good in any way.
Paraphrasing some of the characters, they can't get to say "changelings did it" at this point.
This story has reached grimderp levels and is now completely unlikable and is just another edgelord fic, too bad there were some interesting parts, but the best case scenario is the changelings all dead or forever banished from civilization (No real way for redemption), mankind joining the Gryphon and eventually waging a war on xenophobic Equestria there has only been one real decent pony Lyra, the mane six are completely out of character Applejack cannot detect a single lie, Fluttershy has stopped caring for others, Rainbow has betrayed a friend, Twilight is the next pony hitler, Rarity has just given up on helping it seems, and Pinkie Pie doesn't believe in strange things happening even in the same chapter pointing out weird things happen in ponyville the last chapter was tolerable this chapter is absolute trash and has turned me against the story single handedly Warhammer 40K is now a more viable alternative than this and gets a downvote from me. I will see if this story can turn itself around but I have little expectations from this fic.
Ive been following this story since the beginning. To be completely honest i really like this story. But to wait 8 months , literally 8 months, for an update for it to be a literal 'downward spiral' of the whole story is really disappointing. From the rape, torture, and unneeded xenophobia. I feel like it doesnt connect to the plot at all. Theres no turning back from that. Everyone read it already. Its off favorites and tracking and kept on read later for now. In the odds it gets updated within the next year, ill see the follow-up to that chapter...
10541262
10541276
10541284
You can add xenophobia, but the best way is for it to be subtle.
Like ponies giving him space, charging him prices that are slightly higher, now that’s the way to go.
For the ponies including the Mane Six to turn a complete 180, including Rainbow who loves him and should absolutely know better, everyone starts yelling and throwing accusations around after throwing logic out the window, then yeah we’re going to have problems. It becomes unbearable to read.
We didn’t need to add Changelings. Story would be fine if it’s kept strictly only Ponies and Griffons. Changelings have been used as antagonists so much that it has become tiring. Then all of a sudden, they have a population of Humans as slaves this whole time? You’re going to tell me all this time nobody in the outside world caught on?
And the execution of that Human is completely over the top. Hell, the fucking Mortal Kombat characters would be disgusted.
If you ask me, just create a portal to Earth so Humanity can Operation Fracture Jaw the ponies. At this point, they’ve become absolutely worthless and Gordon should move in to the Griffons.
See a good plot would be if Gordon went to the Griffons and brought ideas from Earth to help their society. Help their country to rise in power. He’ll be appreciated, adored, and hailed a hero.
But nah he’s at Equestria for some anthro horse titties where he’s treated like shit. I thought we left this trope behind, why is this coming back in 2020 of all years?
It would be on brand for 2020 if all of a sudden Gordon’s Irish and claims all of Equestria for Ireland.
i.postimg.cc/3NBjghqx/8419629-D-F662-447-E-B17-A-DB21-CC05-F6-E9.jpg
Well things certainly took a sudden turn...
Those poor, poor fools... This going to need A LOT more than just apologizing from everypony (maybe minus Luna, Lyra and Bon Bon) while groveling to be even theoretically forgiven... IMO at least.
essentially this chapter.
i would say that i don’t like how everything seems going out of control around him
“just because”
but this story has been good so far i know that this the part of the story were shit founds the fan
i will wait for what’s to come in next chapters
thanks for the update
Murphy’s law at its finest
This is a good chapter no if you can excuse me I need to go take my anger out on something
Holy shit... that happent. Please continue it soon.
WTF? Why the hell did we wait go from Xenophobic to GRIMDERP
Like, fuck sake...
I've followed this story since chapter one, but if you end this story with him living to hear all the 'Can you ever forgive us' and just say forget it or whatever, than I will honestly say this is a failure. You don't go through this without the one's that caused it simply asking for forgiveness.
Sure it's blatant singlemind ponies, but if they think that way will work once the story is done, then by God.
Holy fuck..this chapter was a rollercoaster
It's gonna be a real bitch slap to Twilight when Celestia is saved and really tears into Twilight for her actions.
Jesus Christ man, this story is shit? Misanthropic ponies and a protagonist that can't nor does do anything? The protagonist of mine was several seconds away from turning the Royal Guard inside out AND the only thing between the extermination of all the life on the planet !
Yes, he's an overpowered man-dragon/jedi/mandalorian/Adeptus Astartes, but only to show that not all OCs need to be human, younger than Celestia, or unable to destroy Equestria by having enough firepower to match a Star Destroyer.
follow the story from the chapter one it just gets the narritive just gets better and better in the perivos chapter to kill a mocking bird is used as a point it feels like its one of the paths the story going but then theres the latter chapters to the story and i cant' put a finger on it.
10541295
The sad part is up until the new chapters it looked like that was the case then these two chapters come out and well I think the author is letting out some election and COVID rage in these last two chapters.
... yeah, no.
10541943
I think he’s British? Can’t really fault him tho for COVID and politics rage. American and British politics are incredibly dogshit.
Ngl, I did post at least 1 chapter in my one of my own stories where I let my own anger drive me and I ended up with a chapter that’s a living embodiment of a Keir Starmer-Nigel Farage lovechild.
10542038
Well let’s hope that whatever rage that led him to write the two chapters will have left him and he can either fix the chapters to have the mane 6 not regress back to chapter 2 or fix things MAJORLY in the upcoming chapters
Jesus. That sucks. I'm pretty sure they can save Gordan. He needs to get his 'I told you so' in on them. And what happened to Applejack being able to tell a lie from the truth? Or are you going with the anger that makes you stupid stick? I hope the next update comes soon. I was ready to call this story dead.
The question is how long has he been hanging there for.
You did it you bastard..
Everyone reading this really make mad...
In the words of Grim from 'The Grim adventures of Billy and Mandy.'
"This madness has got to stop!"
This took way too long, I actually ended up forgetting about this story entirely until today. I don’t think I’m really willing to wait several months at a time for a chapter to come out. As much as I really like this story, I’m wondering if it’s really worth the wait.
Honestly what the actual fuck happened to this story? It felt like in these 2 chapters that everything went from good to absolute shit real fast, erase these 2 chapters and make actual chapters cause holy fuck man these 2 chapters right here are what we call 'Story Killers' and if you continue the story without retconning these 2 then say goodbye to the followers.
After reading the new chapters and observing the comments posted by other readers, I would have to say that author has done an excellent job.
The main theme seems to be seemingly irrational hate and anger. However with further analysis there are several breadcrumbs throughout the chapters that create interesting web of context to it all. The angry mob in Beauty and the Beast, NK, Hitler, Absolute and parliamentary monarchy, All have their place in this.
Let us start with Celestia. A Monarch who used the humans as ultimate boogiemen to bump up her own authority, using propaganda so effectively that even after extinction her subjects are still being fed same rhetoric. As there was no one to make counter arguments, they were the perfect other to be filled with whatever Celestia needed them to be. The rocket enthusiast of the comparison indeed.
Then we have Twilight, who has been receiving these things from foalhood, and is the perfect example of what such lifestyle is. Celestia can't do no wrong, and as such, even elements of harmony are wrong in conceptual level. She can and will justify lying, stealing, making circular arguments, and killing just so that her mentor can be proven to be in the right.
Then we have the herd behavior of everyone else really. Hundreds of years of indoctrination and sudden wakeup to reality where actual human walks next to them. Their reactions are understandable, as they know what humans are. The society itself has been taught to hate humans, and they hate them well. Imagine the reactions if actual, historical nazis would suddenly show up in human rights activist movements, would people be happy about that? Similar jarring effect really. Every argument is there, from racism to supremacist ideal, all as per society's zeitgeist as to why humans must be evil and hated.
And then there are we, who are given all, seeing view to it all. There are comments that evidently hate the story progression, hate Celestia, hate characters and what they have done. There is hate in ourselves as authors, hate at story structure with similar tropes, and for that, I love these chapters.
Either this was unintentional, or author managed to create a perfect recreation of psychology under such propaganda and events that have, would and indeed should occur in story settings environment.
Any comments?
10542455
hmmm...
There were hints of stuff, but you just placed it perfectly essentially.
Irrational anger/hate. Indoctrination over centuries. Belief that the leader(s) can do no wrong. Along with everything else you mentioned...it really fits.
If this was accidental...it's a great accident.
If this was intentional...then...oh my goodness, the author stuck with the theme perfectly
10542460
Indeed, I fear he played us like a damn fiddle!
10541901
You really lost me there when you brought in your OC that has no relevance here whatsoever.
10542361
I'm a man of second chances so I do hope he retcons these 2 because on god it feels like I'm back at 2015. Jesus Christ man, haven't seen you in a while. How's Griffons Rise? All good? I haven't read the latest chapters.
10541782
I think the past 2 chapters need to be retconned.
1. Every character becomes hella retarded, like throwing a British dude into a dumpster and John Oliver comes out.
2. Changelings and the story went completely grimderp. We don't need Changelings, and adding them as these edgy antagonists have completely watered down the story. We waited for this shit too and got a pile of Grimderp. That's like waiting the 9 months for your son to come out and it's fucking Logan Paul.
Blood bath soon?
I kind of like feeling angry sometimes like what this chapter made me feel. But what was with the big deal over the rabbit I thought the ponies here ate meat? Also I think even after the misunderstanding is resolved and the changelings are defeated Gordan should still be pissed at the mane6. And really make them work for his forgiveness.
10542532
I agree exepct changleings are needed but he kinda just trew em in other than "humans and changelings are mortal enermies" and made em the agressors
10542532
It was to compare and point out the massive differences between them.
10542947
Yeah Changelings didn’t need to be antagonists, but I think the story would’ve been far better if it focused only on the ponies and the griffons.
10543034
Yeah that can be done by using literally any other character in existence. You can put your point across without comparing them to your OC whom 99.9% of people have never heard of.
is it my thinking but did shit just literally hit the fan or reach end-game levels of plot these last two chapters.
10542532
I am doing good, had one hell of a writers block for 2 chapters ive been working on then I nearly hit the release button for em only to release that I nearly did what this author did and went full derp, so now I am rewriting them and giving it a thorough finetoothed combing over to ensure its not full derp.
10543118
Rewriting. That’s good. Most authors refuse to rewrite. I just don’t because I don’t get paid and I have things to do.
10543052
Better than copypasting the generic 'Human in Equestria' cliché and adding little differences, which 75% of people have read.
10543200
Your OC is literally an Overpowered, Jedi/Spartan whatever the fuck it is and you just tried to compare him to a regular dude who was a British Army Captain. OP characters = Instant turnoff
I'm sorry but that was cringy af what you tried to do
Are you sure his name is Gordon and not Jason Wright?
First of all, I just want to say that I hope you write the next chapter soon, because I really want to know what happens next.
Second, I almost feel sorry for the Element Beares. Once they find out Gordon was telling the truth, they (especially Rainbow) are practically going to kill themselves with guilt.
Finally, while I do support this story, I do understand some of the other commentators criticisms. There seems to be quite a few inconsistencies that I have noticed.
It was only a few chapters ago that Twilight punched Celestia for sabotaging Gordon’s experiment, arresting him, and his subsequent whipping. Now, she’s turned into a judgemental, biased jerk? Also, how is it that Applejack, the Element of “Honesty” cannot tell when a pony is lying and Gordon is telling the truth? And for that matter, why would her farm be ruined from her livestock being killed? Doesn’t she work on an “apple” farm? Wouldn’t apples be her main export, anyway? Finally, Rainbow was once best friends with a griffon, and Fluttershy takes care of various carnivores...how are they this upset over one rabbit? The only explanation I can come up with is that some of the main 6 have already been replaced by changelings.
10542480
I never said I was complaining though