Did my answers and updated Weekend in the same day, talk about unrealistic expectation setting. I even managed to make it by the end of the month like I promised.
So much playfulness... sexy, sexy playfulness. I even gave the ladies a little fanservice with Spike
There's a lot of nice set up here for Monday Afternoon and the sequel.
Is it odd that the part that really hit me here is my worry over whatever is bothering Spike and the 'trying to define Twilight and Spike's relationship'?
Heh. I had a particular thought come to me unbidden, and I'll apologise in advance for posting it:
I kinda felt like this was the chapter to cover your bases. When Spike and Rarity were talking about his maturity I had to fight back a grin.
Thing is, it's understandable, sensible, and useful to put in the exposition like this. These questions need to be adressed, and you did so successfully. It's a good chapter, and it's a good story. If I had to criticise anything, it'd be that Spike has perhaps moved a bit much from how he's presented in the show, but that's the kind of character growth he'd need to make this relationship work anyhow.
2658880 No, it just means you have excellent foresight, which means I managed to get the important points across.
2658903 I prefer to think of it as I'm lining my shot up; although, I'm certainly starting to tie up a few loose ends. A few years and adventures are great for character growth I see no reason to be apologizing.
Loving the bathroom sex scene. Hot soapy lusty sex and easy clean up.
Spike you silly dragon, don't you know Twilight always has a plan, most of the time.
So, what to look forward to in the next chapter and sequel? 1. Spike has Rarity. 2. Got kinky in front of Fluttershy. 3. Pinkie Pie is hit on Spike and coping feels. 4. Spike's dragon urge's are waking up again. 5. And a very interesting conversation with Twilight is coming up.
All right!! Monday Morning!! And close to the end of Episode 1 of the weekend
(or is it more like episode 5 of this first season of this Romance TV show called "The Weekend"?......no? hmm, seemed like another episode to me...)
Once again we are presented with another dream sequence, this time Spike is in a bottomless body of water, the feels of moisture as it caresses his scales, complete with the aromas of vanilla and lavender. The water has a slightly purplish tint to it, and it completely submerges him, tingling all of his areas both public and private. Don't even think of waking up Spike!!! Suddenly, a kiss....
Aww, damn. Time to wake up. But I'm pretty sure he's enjoying his personal wake-up call. Seriously, on some mornings, there is nothing better than a good blow to start the day up right! Who needs Folger's? Not Spike, that's for sure! And waking up in the classic 69....ahh, yeah!!
Now that we are going to get into what this morning's sensual activites are gonna be about, Spike's dream was a bit of foreshadowing. As much as the steamy shower scene from yesterday morning was to die for, having them go at in in Rarity's jaccuzi-sized bathtub certainly made it 20% cooler (or is it warmer?) But before we get wet and wild, let's review what happened prior. they actually did shower up this time similar to visiting the community pool. I want to comment on the description of the bathroom a little more. I'm assuming that it would be similar to what one could be in a Japanese bathhouse, complete with stools where our two lovers would sit down and lather themselves up in a very enjoyable game of one-up. Using dragon semen as a shampoo is a stroke of genius!! Probably another reason why dragons are a mare's greatest friend.
Finally, we have both Spike with Rarity on top of him in the good old-fashioned cowmare position, my personal favorite, in the bathtub, both submerged up to their necks, jaccuzi turned on so that all the jets are active and aimed right at where they are connected. If you haven't experienced this feeling of all those nozzles striking all over your body, please experience for yourself. It will change you. The unexpected bubble bath from yet another batch of dragon seed was a pleasant surprise. I also loved how you described how the water would act as it's own dildo while they were sexing with the constant penetration and piston action.
But then there's this:
Something had awoken within him, something ancient both foreign and familiar at the same time. Rarity was his, and she had been all weekend even if he had not realized it at first, but now she asked for him to conquer her and in response he claimed her as his own. A truly beautiful gem and worthy treasure in his possession- No, those kinds of thoughts were dangerous. He had been down this road before… never again. It was true, she was his, but he was just as much hers. Both free and captive at the same time were the two hearts to each other. Thinking like that was going to keep him sane… away from that feral beast.
This told me everything about Spike. As much as he has eventually gotten what he has always wanted with Rarity's undenying love, he's always going to have to keep things at arm's length, no matter how close they get.
I felt that the scene at the breakfast table was absolutely necesssary based on that quote. The conversation between them, from the playful banter (only someone like Spike would make a frilly pink apron so manly ) to tersely and truthfully knowing what was to expect of their relationship, from how the rest of the town would react to how Twilight would take it, was perfectly executed and expertly placed here in the narrative. And in another way, just like how Spike is always going to fight against his natural instincts, it shows how delicate the entire situation is--right up to where he reveals that Pinkie Pie essentially broke into their house just to say Hi (pinkie sense, anypony?).
With all that said, I have a feeling that you have already wrote Monday afternoon, and that just like how you executed the chapter "Happily ever after" in SaHSLL and unexpectedly added "Hearts and Hooves Day", I'm kinda expecting the same thing....
Onward to Monday Afternoon!!! (or unofficially titled "The End and the Beginning").
2659370 It does make a nice view, poor Folgers can't compete.
No, Rarity just has a very nice Master Bathroom that you can find in a lot of English houses, and I do question the... sanitary value of Spike's seed as shampoo... it probably doesn't do that great a job of cleaning her fur.
It was a very fun scene. Spike's dragon instincts are going to be quite important.
Yes, natural progression demands such talks! Personally, I think Pinkie Pie just breaks into everyone's house...Although she was at the door... not quite breaking in
2658658 Sonuva! PoC! You said you were updating this Sunday morning dang it! There were still corrections man! Corrections! Gah! I was updating comments on the GDoc for hours after you already updated XD and what's with the silent 'e' on my username?
Well... The was... Weird? Not saying the whole chapter was not hot as hell, but more the end. I had forgotten what happened to Twilight, and finding out what they were doin was... Unexpected. Now on to why this was weird. Spike, he's shown tremendous growth, both as a character and a master, to still have that fear of losing control it shown just how mature he really is. Also the Pinkie scene... Really? That was too much with both friends brought into the mix, the insinuation that Twilight had brought them together and not being able to identify their relationship make it all the more suspicious. Which has me thinking this will go the harem route, really pulling for that one, or that Twilight just wanted for Spike to be happy... Yeah that one has a slightly darker path.
I would say that you dug yourself a hole, but the way this story is going it'll be one hell of an ending. Another amazing chapter by the way along with a whole new set of conflict with Spike's inner demons. Cannot wait until the next chapter and so...
Fantastic! I cannot wait for more. Quick question, was this proofread? The other chapters had perfect grammar, or near perfect grammar. Point is, I noticed no flaws. But in this one, I noticed a couple spelling errors here and there, some "a"s instead of "an"s, vice versa, some exclamation points where there should be periods, and a couple awkwardly structured sentences. It felt weird after five chapters of near perfect grammar. But I still loved this portion of the story anyway. Surprised (and also completely ecstatic) that this wasn't the last chapter. Hungry, no, STARVING for more.
I award you four moustaches out of five, because of the grammatical quirks.
2665026 It was. The a's are usually just caught by grammar check, if you'd like to point them out I can fix them easily enough. As for the exclamations those are simply for emphasis and should all be correct; you can have exclamations in narrative. The spelling errors were actually more me omitting or adding things and missing things that needed to be changed because of that. I had 'a her legs' in there when you read it which I fixed but originally it was a leg on each side that I swapped to her legs on each side and missed deleting the a. Some of the awkward structure is intentional to show the characters state of mind at certain times, but should all be grammatically correct, keyword being should. The reason the other five chapters are so clean is because they've been out awhile which has allowed readers' comments and my own rereading to refine them.
I am always thankfully any errors, mistakes, or issues anyone points out
Replace 'sentence' with 'story' and you've got my review. You mixed love and sex perfectly into an incredibly heartwarming piece. This is the benchmark of all clopfics, in my mind.
...Which is why it's a shame it really needs another lookover for your little punctuation and spelling mishaps. Luckily they didn't break the immersion too much.
2673068 It would take too long for me to recount every instance, which I deeply apologize for, but if you were to give the whole story a reread, you might notice a few quirks, like lack of commas or odd sentence structure.
Still, thanks to you, I know now what to go for in the love scenes of my epic.
2673343 What I've noticed is that the "odd sentence structure" comments usually refers to the more advanced grammatically correct sentences. I picked up a few tricks to piss off my senior English teacher, semicolons being one of them, As for the rest, I'll have to look into them
So it was a Princess three way then? Nice! I think Twilight know they've been doing.....things, she maybe oblivious to most things, but surely she can't be that bad!
2665026 That is because I, the Great and Grammatical Venatus75, did not edit this chapter. Somebody else did it, and it was their first time, so its perfectly acceptable. Great chapter by the way.
Considering how awesome and hot the Spike and Rarity sex scenes in this are i would love to see how Twilights threesome weekend with Celestia and Luna went. Another possibilty is to see Spike and Rarity have that conversation with Fluttershy turn into a one time threesome
Big thanks to Shockinawe for a lot of the work he did proofreading and editing this one.
Did my answers and updated Weekend in the same day, talk about unrealistic expectation setting. I even managed to make it by the end of the month like I promised.
So much playfulness... sexy, sexy playfulness. I even gave the ladies a little fanservice with Spike
There's a lot of nice set up here for Monday Afternoon and the sequel.
I'd still love a spin-off story of all the debauchery that went on with Twilight, Celestia and Luna up in Canterlot.
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY a new chapter
Is it odd that the part that really hit me here is my worry over whatever is bothering Spike and the 'trying to define Twilight and Spike's relationship'?
dude nice
oh and I may be digging a bunker
Heh. I had a particular thought come to me unbidden, and I'll apologise in advance for posting it:
I kinda felt like this was the chapter to cover your bases. When Spike and Rarity were talking about his maturity I had to fight back a grin.
Thing is, it's understandable, sensible, and useful to put in the exposition like this. These questions need to be adressed, and you did so successfully. It's a good chapter, and it's a good story. If I had to criticise anything, it'd be that Spike has perhaps moved a bit much from how he's presented in the show, but that's the kind of character growth he'd need to make this relationship work anyhow.
2658880 No, it just means you have excellent foresight, which means I managed to get the important points across.
2658903 I prefer to think of it as I'm lining my shot up; although, I'm certainly starting to tie up a few loose ends. A few years and adventures are great for character growth I see no reason to be apologizing.
Loving the bathroom sex scene. Hot soapy lusty sex and easy clean up.
Spike you silly dragon, don't you know Twilight always has a plan, most of the time.
So, what to look forward to in the next chapter and sequel?
1. Spike has Rarity.
2. Got kinky in front of Fluttershy.
3. Pinkie Pie is hit on Spike and coping feels.
4. Spike's dragon urge's are waking up again.
5. And a very interesting conversation with Twilight is coming up.
Oh the future is looking brighter already!
2659058
I'm very glad you feel that way!
Here's my first review:
All right!! Monday Morning!! And close to the end of Episode 1 of the weekend
(or is it more like episode 5 of this first season of this Romance TV show called "The Weekend"?......no? hmm, seemed like another episode to me...)
Once again we are presented with another dream sequence, this time Spike is in a bottomless body of water, the feels of moisture as it caresses his scales, complete with the aromas of vanilla and lavender. The water has a slightly purplish tint to it, and it completely submerges him, tingling all of his areas both public and private. Don't even think of waking up Spike!!! Suddenly, a kiss....
Aww, damn. Time to wake up. But I'm pretty sure he's enjoying his personal wake-up call. Seriously, on some mornings, there is nothing better than a good blow to start the day up right! Who needs Folger's? Not Spike, that's for sure! And waking up in the classic 69....ahh, yeah!!
Now that we are going to get into what this morning's sensual activites are gonna be about, Spike's dream was a bit of foreshadowing. As much as the steamy shower scene from yesterday morning was to die for, having them go at in in Rarity's jaccuzi-sized bathtub certainly made it 20% cooler (or is it warmer?) But before we get wet and wild, let's review what happened prior. they actually did shower up this time similar to visiting the community pool.
I want to comment on the description of the bathroom a little more. I'm assuming that it would be similar to what one could be in a Japanese bathhouse, complete with stools where our two lovers would sit down and lather themselves up in a very enjoyable game of one-up. Using dragon semen as a shampoo is a stroke of genius!! Probably another reason why dragons are a mare's greatest friend.
Finally, we have both Spike with Rarity on top of him in the good old-fashioned cowmare position, my personal favorite, in the bathtub, both submerged up to their necks, jaccuzi turned on so that all the jets are active and aimed right at where they are connected. If you haven't experienced this feeling of all those nozzles striking all over your body, please experience for yourself. It will change you. The unexpected bubble bath from yet another batch of dragon seed was a pleasant surprise. I also loved how you described how the water would act as it's own dildo while they were sexing with the constant penetration and piston action.
But then there's this:
This told me everything about Spike. As much as he has eventually gotten what he has always wanted with Rarity's undenying love, he's always going to have to keep things at arm's length, no matter how close they get.
I felt that the scene at the breakfast table was absolutely necesssary based on that quote. The conversation between them, from the playful banter (only someone like Spike would make a frilly pink apron so manly ) to tersely and truthfully knowing what was to expect of their relationship, from how the rest of the town would react to how Twilight would take it, was perfectly executed and expertly placed here in the narrative. And in another way, just like how Spike is always going to fight against his natural instincts, it shows how delicate the entire situation is--right up to where he reveals that Pinkie Pie essentially broke into their house just to say Hi (pinkie sense, anypony?).
With all that said, I have a feeling that you have already wrote Monday afternoon, and that just like how you executed the chapter "Happily ever after" in SaHSLL and unexpectedly added "Hearts and Hooves Day", I'm kinda expecting the same thing....
Onward to Monday Afternoon!!! (or unofficially titled "The End and the Beginning").
Good lord Danville! your "review" is about as long as the chapter!
For some reasons, the shower scenes always turn me on the most...
That's good, right?
...Right..?
2659087 I feel like I'm looking at a score sheet at the end of a game, lol.
2659449 Wet mane Rarity is pretty hot, and dripping water off of bodies is too.
2659370 It does make a nice view, poor Folgers can't compete.
No, Rarity just has a very nice Master Bathroom that you can find in a lot of English houses, and I do question the... sanitary value of Spike's seed as shampoo... it probably doesn't do that great a job of cleaning her fur.
It was a very fun scene. Spike's dragon instincts are going to be quite important.
Yes, natural progression demands such talks! Personally, I think Pinkie Pie just breaks into everyone's house...Although she was at the door... not quite breaking in
Riiiiight
2658658
Sonuva! PoC! You said you were updating this Sunday morning dang it! There were still corrections man! Corrections! Gah! I was updating comments on the GDoc for hours after you already updated XD
and what's with the silent 'e' on my username?
2659755 Bwhahahhahha, if it makes you feel better I fixed all of them already
2659758
You-! But I-! silent e....~ I go to bed now.
2659808 Nigh, nigh!
More to this story? I deeply approve of this.
Nice ending to this wonderful and sexy tale. So does this lead into Part 2 of your series or what ?
Other than that this entire story was a great sexual way to spend ones weekend.
I now want Spike, Pinkie, and Spike have a threesome.
"Making Marshmallows," perhaps?
2660739 There's still one more chapter left.
2660739 Damn, evil keyboard!
2661117
COOL, I cannot wait to read how you'll REALLY end this tale.
2661121
Believe me, I know how you feel.
Well... The was... Weird? Not saying the whole chapter was not hot as hell, but more the end. I had forgotten what happened to Twilight, and finding out what they were doin was... Unexpected. Now on to why this was weird. Spike, he's shown tremendous growth, both as a character and a master, to still have that fear of losing control it shown just how mature he really is. Also the Pinkie scene... Really? That was too much with both friends brought into the mix, the insinuation that Twilight had brought them together and not being able to identify their relationship make it all the more suspicious. Which has me thinking this will go the harem route, really pulling for that one, or that Twilight just wanted for Spike to be happy... Yeah that one has a slightly darker path.
2661632 Fun times ahead.
I would say that you dug yourself a hole, but the way this story is going it'll be one hell of an ending. Another amazing chapter by the way along with a whole new set of conflict with Spike's inner demons. Cannot wait until the next chapter and so...
Please, sir, may I have some moar?
2663421 Does the whole have gummy worms?!
Not the time, Pinkie. As soon as I write it, and have it proofread.
Good chapter, again...hating that I'm loving it
And I am really looking forward to how this ends
Keep up the great work for all bronies to enjoy
Fantastic! I cannot wait for more. Quick question, was this proofread? The other chapters had perfect grammar, or near perfect grammar. Point is, I noticed no flaws. But in this one, I noticed a couple spelling errors here and there, some "a"s instead of "an"s, vice versa, some exclamation points where there should be periods, and a couple awkwardly structured sentences. It felt weird after five chapters of near perfect grammar. But I still loved this portion of the story anyway. Surprised (and also completely ecstatic) that this wasn't the last chapter. Hungry, no, STARVING for more.
I award you four moustaches out of five, because of the grammatical quirks.
2665026 It was. The a's are usually just caught by grammar check, if you'd like to point them out I can fix them easily enough. As for the exclamations those are simply for emphasis and should all be correct; you can have exclamations in narrative. The spelling errors were actually more me omitting or adding things and missing things that needed to be changed because of that. I had 'a her legs' in there when you read it which I fixed but originally it was a leg on each side that I swapped to her legs on each side and missed deleting the a. Some of the awkward structure is intentional to show the characters state of mind at certain times, but should all be grammatically correct, keyword being should. The reason the other five chapters are so clean is because they've been out awhile which has allowed readers' comments and my own rereading to refine them.
I am always thankfully any errors, mistakes, or issues anyone points out
I'm sad that my favourite clopfic is almost over... Oh well all good things must come to an end!
You should make a group for this! A group for the weekend verse! (Seriously though, we need a better name for this...)
Hooray! Was hoping there would me more of this series.
I was not disappointed
I need moar and quickly!
.........................
I LIKE THIS!
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRQS2IPasuCK25Kpf_DxxmDOT4x0HlOKEqZzaGyQ5onDbSo5OCZUg
Replace 'sentence' with 'story' and you've got my review. You mixed love and sex perfectly into an incredibly heartwarming piece. This is the benchmark of all clopfics, in my mind.
...Which is why it's a shame it really needs another lookover for your little punctuation and spelling mishaps. Luckily they didn't break the immersion too much.
2672469 Overall or just chapter six? Also, if you remember any of them it would be a hug help since I can go in and fix them.
Also, thanks. Always nice to be given such high praise
2673068 It would take too long for me to recount every instance, which I deeply apologize for, but if you were to give the whole story a reread, you might notice a few quirks, like lack of commas or odd sentence structure.
Still, thanks to you, I know now what to go for in the love scenes of my epic.
2673343 What I've noticed is that the "odd sentence structure" comments usually refers to the more advanced grammatically correct sentences. I picked up a few tricks to piss off my senior English teacher, semicolons being one of them, As for the rest, I'll have to look into them
Well, I hope you pull it off masterfully
So it was a Princess three way then? Nice! I think Twilight know they've been doing.....things, she maybe oblivious to most things, but surely she can't be that bad!
2665026
That is because I, the Great and Grammatical Venatus75, did not edit this chapter. Somebody else did it, and it was their first time, so its perfectly acceptable.
Great chapter by the way.
2678193 I sent it to you slacker...
2678201
Yeah, but I didn't get around to it.
2680021 Well you should, cause these supposed typos and what not are driving me crazy!
Considering how awesome and hot the Spike and Rarity sex scenes in this are i would love to see how Twilights threesome weekend with Celestia and Luna went. Another possibilty is to see Spike and Rarity have that conversation with Fluttershy turn into a one time threesome
2682243 Everybody get's ahead of themselves We'll get there, but I still have an Afternoon to write