• Published 12th Jun 2012
  • 10,613 Views, 331 Comments

A Teatime Visit - Esle Ynopemos

A friendly visit over tea launches a series of increasingly ridiculous pranks.

  • ...

Rarity's Revenge

A Few Weeks Later...

Carousel Boutique smelled of lilacs. There was also the scent of freshly washed fabric, an acrid hint of dye, and occasionally a vague trace of odor to indicate that the place was home to a cat, but the most distinctive smell in the boutique was the lilacs. Stems of the little purple flowers rested in jars of water on the windowsill, on the table, and on shelves by the door. Dress forms with half-finished patterns pinned to them had lilacs tucked behind their stuffed ears. A bouquet of lilacs hung from the ceiling by a string, slowly drying beneath the skylight.

Applejack began to suspect she was mildly allergic to lilacs.

“Hold still, darling, the glue hasn't set yet.” Rarity used her hoof to hold a wooden purple horn steady against Applejack's forehead.

The farm mare grimaced, doing her best to keep herself from itching the end of her muzzle. “Where'd ya even get a phony unicorn horn, anyway?”

Rarity chewed her lip in concentration as she used her magic to pull her friend's blonde mane into a bun. “Hmm? Oh, I just had it lying around. I probably picked it up at some novelty shop or another.” She took her hoof off Applejack's forehead, staring at the horn until she was satisfied it would not fall off. “There. Just don't move your head too suddenly, and it should stick just fine.”

Applejack lifted a hoof to feel her faux-horn. It still startled her to see that her hoof was now light purple instead of orange. She frowned. “Just double-checkin', but are you sure this dye ain't permanent?”

Rarity dug through a cabinet, discarding various odds and ends before finally emerging with an indigo wig with a bright pink stripe down the middle. “Of course, dear, it's completely washable. Your tub will turn purple the next time you take a bath, but you'll be back to your orange self at the end of the day. Lower your head for me, please.” Applejack put her head down and folded her ears back as her friend placed the wig over top of her yellow mane. The unicorn fussed with it until it seemed to settle properly over the bun. A false tail in the same style was fixed over Applejack's tail.

“Is this really gonna work, anyway? Won't she know it ain't her?” Applejack fidgeted as Rarity took to modifying the wig with a brush and a pair of scissors.

The scissors snapped at the false hair, sending bits of it drifting to the floor. Rarity grinned as she worked. “I may not have command over incredible feats of magic, but I am a darned good makeup artist. When she sees you, she'll believe it.”

The no-longer orange mare frowned. “Not that I mind helpin', it's just this seems like goin' a bit far just to get back at somepony fer a prank.”

“Farther than traveling back in time?” Rarity replied, brushing the bangs of the wig up into a wild tangle. “Besides, this is a matter of principle. Nopony pulls one on Rarity Belle and gets away clean. You don't really believe it was an accident when Sweetie Belle added itching powder instead of detergent to the laundry when I gave Rainbow Dash and Pinkie those sweaters for Hearth's Warming, do you?”

Applejack inclined her head. “I thought that seemed a mite suspicious.”

“Indeed.” Rarity took what looked like a sheet of paper with Twilight's starburst cutie mark drawn on it and pressed it against Applejack's flank. She put a hoof to her chin as she rubbed the paper vigorously. “Rub-on cutie marks... It's probably best we don't let our sisters find out such a thing exists, don't you agree?”

The farm mare nodded. “Sweet Celestia, I shudder ta even think about it.” After two sheets of paper and a few minutes of rubbing, Applejack's apples were completely invisible, hidden beneath bright pink stars.

“Here, put this colored contact in,” Rarity said, handing her a single purple lens.

Applejack looked down at it. “Why only one?”

“Because the other eye will have an eyepatch,” the unicorn explained.

It took the earth pony a bit of time and effort to work the contact lens into her eye. After she finished, Rarity strapped an eyepatch over the remaining green eye. Applejack blinked, trying to get her eyelids used to the foreign object. “Well, how do I look? Do I look like Twi?”

Rarity grinned. “Oh, darling, Twilight wishes she could look as much like herself as you do now!”

“That don't even make sense.”

“I'll get you a mirror, darling.” A flash of Rarity's horn dragged a full-length dressing mirror across the floor to rest in front of Applejack.

The farm pony's mouth hung open. Staring back at her through the mirror was Twilight Sparkle, down to the last detail. “Well ain't that somethin'?” she murmured as she stared at her reflection.

Rarity clapped her hooves against the floor. “Oh! I almost forgot!” She zipped into the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboards. “Aha!” She produced a small round candy in a wax paper wrapping, which she held out to Applejack. “Eat this.”

Applejack blinked a moment in confusion before doing as she was told. She chewed on the treat for a few moments before swallowing. “Mm, minty,” she remarked. Her eyes went wide as the voice that emerged from her mouth was not her own. “What—my voice!”

“A special order candy from Bon Bon,” explained Rarity. “It will make you sound just like Twilight. Say something smart.”

The false Twilight narrowed her eye. “I beg your pardon?”

“Say something Twilight would say,” Rarity rephrased.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “I um, square-rooted all of my hypotheses.”

The fashion designer cackled. “Oh, it's perfect! Remind me sometime that I owe Bon Bon a... a whatever she asks for. That mare does brilliant, brilliant work!”

“Um, Rarity, this will go away after a while, right? This stuff is making my head hurt whenever I try to say 'ya'll.'”

“Now you know how the rest of us feel, darling,” Rarity mumbled.

“What was that?” Applejack hissed.

The unicorn coughed loudly. “I said not to worry, darling. Bon Bon assured me it will wear off in a couple of hours. Now, do you remember the plan?”

Applejack flexed her jaw. “I wait upstairs until I hear your signal. Then I come down the stairs, back up your story, then go back up the stairs. Simple enough.”

“Good. And I'll be covering your entrance and exit with some smoke and lights.” Rarity glanced out the window. Her eyes went wide. “Oh, she's coming! Quick, get to your spot!” She nearly shoved Applejack into the closet in her room before dashing back downstairs to sweep up the hair clippings.

Rarity only just managed to find a seat on her sofa when a hoof knocked against her door. “Come in,” she sang.

The door opened and in stepped Twilight Sparkle. “Hi, Rarity,” she greeted, wiping her hooves on the welcome mat. “Thank you for inviting me back over for tea.”

“Of course, of course, come on in, darling,” Rarity said, beckoning her towards a pile of soft cushions. “I have the tea already made this time.” She levitated a set of teacups and a gently steaming teapot from behind the sofa.

Twilight accepted her cup with a smile but hesitated before bringing it to her lips.

Rarity smirked. “Is something the matter, dear?”

The librarian stared suspiciously at the dark liquid in her cup. “You do know that what I did that one time was just a prank, right? I didn't mean anything by it.”

Rarity took a long sip from her tea. “Of course, dear. It was all in good fun.” After a moment of silence, she started giggling. “You don't think I would put something in your tea, do you?”

“The thought did occur to me,” Twilight admitted sheepishly. “I remember Pinkie and Rainbow's sweaters last Hearth's Warming.”

The fashion designer's eyes shined innocently. “It isn't my fault my sister doesn't always take the time to read labels.”

“Uh huh,” said Twilight, unconvinced. After a few minutes, she shrugged, squeezed her eyes shut and took a sip of her tea. One eye relaxed back open. “Mm, jasmine,” she remarked.

Rarity grinned wickedly. “No, darling, I'm afraid I've done something far worse than putting something in your tea.” She let out a low chuckle. “I have gone and stolen your marefriend.”

Twilight raised one eyebrow. “Really, Rarity? That's what you're going with? You know I'm not actually dating my future self, right? That was part of the joke.”

The white mare cackled. “Oh you're not dating her anymore, at least. Future you is all mine, now!”

The librarian took another calm sip from her tea. “No, no, this is very amusing. Please, go on. I expect you have some kind of proof that you and my future self are together?”

“But of course! She should be dropping in any moment now.” Lights and noises filled the boutique. Puffs of white smoke formed around the stairwell. The light grew bright, forcing both ponies to look away.

Zwip! When the light and smoke faded away, nopony stood at the base of the stairs. The two unicorns stared in awkward silence for a few minutes before Rarity repeated herself. “I said, she should be dropping in any moment now.

“Sorry!” came Twilight's voice from the top of the stairs. A set of purple hooves trampled down the steps, revealing Future Twilight's frizzy mane and eyepatch. “I uh, miscalculated the locator matrix,” she said, coughing on the remaining wisps of smoke. Past Twilight's eyebrows raised in surprise.

Rarity's smirk returned. “There you are, dear. Your past self does not believe me that you and I are a thing now. Would you enlighten her for me?”

“With pleasure.” The wild-maned mare marched purposefully to the sofa, swept Rarity off of her seat, and planted a long, deep kiss on her lips. There was a significant amount of tongue involved, and it lasted long enough that Rarity was gasping for breath at the end of it.

Past Twilight's eyes were as big as saucers. Rarity managed to open hers even wider still. Future Twilight turned to give her past self a big wink before leaving Rarity to stand on her own legs, which promptly dumped the white mare in a heap on the floor. Future Twilight leaned down to whisper in Rarity's ear, “I'll see you later, darling,” and then trotted back up the stairs.

Rarity pushed herself off the floor, brushing dust off her fetlocks. “Ahem,” she cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure. “You see? Me. Her. A thing.”

Twilight stared up the stairs, nodding. “Y-yeah... I saw.” She set her teacup down and slowly stood up. “I think... I think I'm going to go home now.” The librarian backed carefully up to the door.

“Yes,” said Rarity. “Do travel safely, darling.”

The stunned librarian nodded weakly. “Yes. I will do that.” She shut the door firmly behind her as she left.

Rarity watched from her window as the purple mare stumbled down the road. She waited until Twilight was out of sight before scrambling up the stairs. “Dear Celestia, I didn't expect that kiss, but you sure sold it, Applejack! Did you see her face?” Rarity laughed, opening the door to her bedroom. “If you ever get tired of farming, dear, I know of some talent agencies that would just die to get their hooves on somepony with that kind of commitment to a role! ...Applejack? Where are you, dear?”

A voice came from her closet. “I'm in here!”

Rarity opened the closet door, grinning. “You can come out now, she's gone.”

Applejack tumbled out of the closet. Her faux-horn came loose and rolled around on the floor. “What are you talking about, Rarity? What kiss? I've been stuck in the closet this whole time!”

Rarity pushed Applejack's shoulder with a hoof. “Oh, don't kid! You did an incredible job down there. Why, even I half believed you were really Twilight!”

“Rarity, I'm being as honest as the day is long,” said the farm pony, a concerned frown tugging at her lips. “I heard your signal and tried to come out, but the knob wouldn't budge. I thought about yelling for help, but then Twilight would have seen through everything, so I decided I would just wait for you to realize something was wrong and come up here yourself.”

The unicorn looked Applejack in the eyes. The green eye and the purple one contrasted sharply, but they did not waver with the slightest hint of deception. Rarity blinked in puzzlement. “But, if you were up here, then who was...” Her eyes fell on a neatly written note left on the corner of her bed.

Rarity picked up the note in a blue aura of magic, frowning as she read it. Her eyes went wide and she took a sharp breath. “Oh... oh, Celestia!” With a swoon, Rarity collapsed on the bed.

Applejack picked up the false horn and tried to press it back into its place on her forehead. “Hey, Rarity? If we're done here, do you mind if I keep the wig and horn a little while longer? I was thinking I might go and scare the hay out of my brother by asking him about that doll. ...Rarity?”

No response came from Rarity. Applejack raised her eyebrows. She nosed the note open to investigate.

My love,

That was a good one, ha ha! You sure got me!
F. T.

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