• Published 12th Jun 2012
  • 10,613 Views, 331 Comments

A Teatime Visit - Esle Ynopemos



A friendly visit over tea launches a series of increasingly ridiculous pranks.

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A Teatime Visit

A cheerful tune drifted through Carousel Boutique. It blended with the soft jingle of windchimes outside. Brightly colored bolts of cloth sparkled in the sunlight as it scattered through the store's glass windows. Finely dressed mannequins stood silently in audience to the song like a crowd of sophisticates at an opera. In the middle of it all, seated upon a comfortable red cushion, Rarity hummed while she worked.

The white unicorn made careful use of her hooves, teeth and magic to work her needle through the yellow fabric of a spring dress. Garnet studs came into place along the hem, and she planned to decorate the clasp with a fiery ruby.

Rarity's humming subsided as she heard a hoof knock against her front door. “Is that you, Twilight?” she called, stowing her work away. “Do come in.”

The door opened as Twilight Sparkle stepped inside. “Thank you for letting me drop in like this, Rarity,” she said, taking care to wipe her hooves on the welcome mat before stepping into the boutique proper. “I know you've been busy lately.”

“Oh, nonsense,” Rarity replied, helping her friend hang her saddlebags near the door. “I always have time for my friends.” The white unicorn then trotted lightly off toward the kitchen. “What kind of tea would you like, dear?”

Twilight smiled gratefully. “Anything is fine, thank you.”

A few minutes of running water, rattling pots, and finally whistling kettles ensued before Rarity returned, levitating two steaming cups before her. The two unicorns each found themselves a perch of cushions and pillows and got comfortable.

“So,” Rarity said, stirring a lump of sugar into her cup, “what brings you to my humble abode?”

Twilight took a careful sip. “Ooh, this tea is delicious!”

“You like it? It's a special blend you can only get in Canterlot. There's this darling little tea shop--” Rarity stopped herself, unwilling to let Twilight sidetrack her.

The lavender mare grinned sheepishly. “Okay, okay. You caught me, I didn't come here to talk about tea.” She took another sip. It really was good tea, though. “I came here because... well, I think I have a crush.”

Stars glistened in the corners of Rarity's eyes. “Oh, Twilight, that's marvelous! Tell me all about her!”

“Well, I—,” Twilight began, before blinking a couple of times. “Wait, why do you just assume it's a 'her?'“

Rarity gave an airy laugh. “Darling, I don't know how subtle you think you've been, but you've had 'filly-fooler' written all over your face since day one!”

Twilight's cheeks flushed dark red. “Rarity!” she hissed.

“Pardon my crude language, of course,” she added, taking a sip from her cup. “But it's true. Since you arrived in Ponyville, I don't think I've heard you say more than three words to any stallion that wasn't your brother.”

Twilight set her teacup down and stood up. “Nevermind,” she said, turning toward the door.

“Oh, sit down, will you? I'm only teasing,” Rarity said.

Twilight paused, then gave an exasperated sigh as she sank back down onto the pillows.

“That's it, dear. You came here to tell me about this crush of yours because you and I both know I can help.” Rarity brought her cup to her lips, but froze. “Unless... dear Celestia, it isn't me, is it?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “No, Rarity, I don't have a crush on you.”

The white unicorn breathed a sigh of relief. “Not that I wouldn't... appreciate your affections if it were, mind you, I just would like to believe you're bright enough not to go barging into a pony's home and just say it. That would be far too forward.” Rarity's eyes fixed themselves to some point beyond the walls of the boutique. “No, you would need to start with something like an innocent invitation to a friendly dinner-date. We would talk and laugh over our salads and wine, and then we would take a detour through the park as we walked back home. As the sky above us glows with the time of day that is your namesake, you would lean in close and whisper—“

“Oka—y,” Twilight interrupted, laughing nervously. “I am going to pretend I heard none of that.”

Rarity coughed into her hoof. “Ahem... besides, poor Spike would be just devastated.” A long, awkward silence filled the room. “So, is it anypony I know?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, you know her very well.”

Rarity clapped her hooves on the tiles in excited glee. “I knew it was a 'her!' “

The purple unicorn shot an annoyed glare at her friend.

Rarity folded her hooves under herself and focused her attention on her tea. “Go on.”

Twilight took another sip. “Well, it started when I realized that she'd always been there for me. No matter where I went, there she was.”

Rarity gasped. “Pinkie Pie?” she squeaked. Twilight cocked her eyebrows. “No? Oh, nevermind, then. So you're close?”

“Oh yes, very close,” Twilight continued. “We hang out together all the time.”

A big grin spread across Rarity's face. “I always thought you and Rainbow Dash would make the most adorable couple!”

“It's not Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said flatly.

“Really?” Rarity rubbed her chin with a hoof. “I could have sworn... hmm.” Rarity tried to sip thoughtfully from her cup, but found it completely empty. “Tell me, does this lucky mare suspect anything? Is she aware that she has stolen my dear Twilight's heart?”

“Oh, I think she knows,” Twilight said, twirling a hoof against the floor. “I don't think I could hide anything from her if I tried.”

“Is it Fluttershy?”

“No.”

“You're absolutely positive it isn't Rainbow Dash?”

“It isn't Rainbow Dash!”

“Applejack?”

“Now you're just going down the list of all our friends.”

Rarity pouted. “Well I simply must know, darling! Tell me, who could have drawn the gaze of Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight finished her cup of tea and set it carefully down on the floor. “Well...” A wind began swirling through the boutique. Thread and needles left the tables to dance in the air. The room was suddenly filled with a blinding light.

Zwip!

When the light and wind faded, Rarity was faced with not one but two Twilight Sparkles. The new Twilight wore an eyepatch and her mane was all frizzy.

Rarity stammered. “T-Twilight, what is going on?”

The Twilight without an eyepatch stood up. “Rarity, I am now dating myself. My future-self, that is.” Future Twilight gave her past self a playful nip on the ear. “Oh, me,” Past Twilight said, pushing Future Twilight away with her hoof.

The eyepatch-wearing mare grinned and spoke. “I realized, 'hey, here's a pony who likes all the same things as I do. She can keep up with me when I talk about my research, and it won't bother her if I snore!”

Rarity stood dumbfounded. “I—you, uh, wha—?”

Past Twilight giggled. “Plus, the eyepatch is pretty hot, don't you think?”

Rarity's eyes lost focus and she collapsed in a heap on the pillows.

*-*-*

The two Twilights stepped out of Carousel Boutique, laughing. Future Twilight looked to her left with a smug expression on her face. In the bushes outside the window, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash stood staring, their jaws hanging nearly to the ground. “That,” she said to them, “is how you do a real prank.” In a flash of light and a gust of wind, Future Twilight disappeared.

The remaining Twilight Sparkle held out her hoof. “All right girls, I won. Pay up.”

Pinkie and Rainbow dug through their saddlebags and produced some bits.

Twilight grinned as she began mussing up her mane. “Oh, and Pinkie, do you mind if I borrow one of your emergency eyepatches? I need to go help a friend settle a bet.”

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