• Member Since 19th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen Oct 4th, 2019

KrspaceT


I'm a fanfiction.net writer and contributor to the Infinite Loops (if not the Saph ones as far as I can tell), who may occasionally jot an idea for here.

T

Possibly in canon with Sunset Shimmer: of Ponies and Man

After far too many post Anon fics involving Sunset trying to kill herself, I decided to do something a little different.

Instead of looking at Sunset's misery, I thought it might be nice to see how the C.M.C might try to make it up to er.

Naturally a lot of logic jumping ensues, and giving them a book that can control people doesn't help things.

At all.

Humane 5, Sunset, and Sci-Twi pairings mentioned. I probably will offend someone's OTP, this is not intentional.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 2 )
Comment posted by KrspaceT deleted Feb 13th, 2016

Well off the bat I'm gonna tell you that not a lot of people are going to instantly look at this story. Reason being is that there is no picture and there is no real description. These two things are the eye catchers, it's what makes people want to read your story. No one cares about the personal things in your description, as bad as it sounds. The description and picture need to act as hooks that tease the reader into wanting more. Alrighty, now to the story. It's confusing, but I think I get the plot. So one of the crusaders has a notebook that dictates fate and she decides to make canon shipping? I think so. Then because of a bulling anonymous entity attacking Sunset Shimmer, they decide to help. Not many people like anon stories, my friend. Also it seems as though all the characters are the same person. There's no variety in the characterization, they're all geniuses for whatever reason. I suggest adding the Alternate Universe tag since it goes completely against canon personality. Adding literal numbers such as 100 or 7 is a huge turn off to readers. I see you also are very intelligent, but you have the idea that adding a lot of big words makes the story ground breaking. It's too much honestly and that's what I meant by confusing. Either way I see lots of potential in you. Quite a lot actually. That's exactly why I had to give criticism, to help you. Practice makes perfect and I suggest looking at https://www.fimfiction.net/group/916/school-for-new-writers/thread/150166/meta-school-directory
Hope this helped! :twistnerd:

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